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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?      Home login  
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 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 51
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Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Is it possible for people to be in love with someone with no physical
attraction to them? And have sex with them and be satisfied?

Neither would be an option for me.
 Artemis2009
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 52
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Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 1:47:03 PM
Yes, but not be in a monogamous relationship with them unless you're assexual.
 Calientecutie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 53
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 1:48:54 PM
you can love that person for their personality
and sometimes that grows into physical love.i have dated men that i was not attracted to....and eventually started liking him
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 54
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 1:59:46 PM
Bypassing the other responses.

Isn't physical attraction one of the main things we go for in a potential partner? I can't imply that I could ever fall in love with a guy that I am not physically attracted to, because for me, physically attraction is first and foremost.

With all honestly, I don't even date men I don't find physically attractive at least in some form.

As for sex, I haven't even done that with a guy I had absolutely no physical attraction to. In my case, I don't think it's possible.

For others, it could be a possibility. There is a possibility that there are people out there who fell in love with someone that they weren't in the least bit physically attracted to.
 gone with
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 55
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 5:46:40 PM
My sweet sweet girl. That is the silliest question I have heard in some time. Do you seriously need to be reminded that everything is possible with money. I f he or she is wealthy then you can love them and have sex too.
 DR_RUTHLESS
Joined: 11/2/2009
Msg: 56
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 6:13:46 PM
Maybe you can or want to but I do not think most could to offer advise.

It is possible to love as in the greatest friends ever but any lust would defiantly violate the enormous respect for it to ever be great sex let alone sex at all.

Chemistry is a must in clinical love, physical and mental, and this usually furnishes the best sexual gratification for both partners...or should as it is the most repairable if ever so rarely dysfunctional for any reason. A physical turn off is not repairable.

Now how did this entered your mind to begin with? Love with no attraction and yet great sex? Sounds frigid to me. Br-r-r-r-r.

Even though you claim you have never done it, are you thinking about it to even ask?

You post comments to almost every post 24/7 with mean spirited dispassion and now you come out with this? Why am I not surprised...
 Katelove
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 57
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 6:34:58 PM
absolutely agree with. i think some time physical attractive doesn't work for long but some time get to know some one and you can see how a person can make u feel different way when u first met each other.
 Juste moi Danielle
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 58
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 7:15:31 PM
The best way for me to answer that question is to reverse the situation - would I want someone to be with me in what is supposed to be an intimate loving relationship knowing they were not physically attracted to me?

I'm sure it's possible, however, so is surviving on bread and water possible, at least for a while, until your body starts to shut down due to the lack of essential nutrients it needs to stay healthy or you start to lose your mind, or both.

Anyway, that's a no (for me) in case you're wondering...;)

 green023
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 59
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 8:27:58 PM
I couldn't. There needs to be at least some physical attraction. Otherwise it would be a platonic relationship.
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 60
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 8:45:23 PM
Sure you can but that would be a friend............wouldn't it???
 brandished
Joined: 9/25/2009
Msg: 61
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Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 9:39:18 PM

Doggonit! My own words used against me...I hate it when that happens....sigh...



Heee Heee Heeee.......................


Don't take it too hard Irish, reminders can be good for the soul?!

Cheers!
 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 62
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 9:47:10 PM
How does one explain those couples who have their 50th anniversary? ... each one looks like a wrinkly sack of flesh with some tufts of hair in odd places. Yet there is love...
 Calray
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 63
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 10:12:34 PM
You know I'm reminded of that song from Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella...

"...Do I love you because you're beautiful? Or, are you beautiful because I love you?"


I'm pretty sure that at the moment I'm very much in love and when I see her the world suddenly becomes a better place. But if I were to be honest, I would have to admit that if she were a stranger I likely would not be attracted to her physically. At least she wouldn't be my traditional type. But make no mistake I have no problem looking her in the eye and telling her she's beautiful and mean it.

So maybe the physical attraction just came later. I don't know. I'm actually very confused, but I am very aware that the physical will fade away and it's the rest that provides substance.
 *pisceseyes
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 64
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 10:13:30 PM
yes but have you seen the pics of those couples 50 years back? thats when the initial attraction took place..most of them looking like hollywood starlets.

i could fall in love with a man now with unspecified features (because i really dont have any) but there would HAVE to be some sort of physical attraction to me initially THEN once that established bond has been made- aging, injury etc would have no relevance to me.. love & loyalty, ahhh
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 65
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 10:23:00 PM
Nope,

Welcome to the friend zone.
 Eric5563
Joined: 2/19/2010
Msg: 66
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 10:41:24 PM
I think that you "must" find someone physically attractive to have a loving relationship with them. In my opinion, if you try to force yourself to love without attraction, you are going against your instinct. You are going against nature. That is a battle you will not win. I can go to a bar and see a 100 beautiful women and there is only a handful of them that spark any kind of want for a connection. Even in nature animals have to attract a mate. I think as humans some of us try to push that instinct aside in some foolish attempt to be noble. Not to say that it is "all" physical. There have been plenty of times i have thought to my self, "I would totally sleep with that girl, but I would never want to talk to her" that may sound superficial but it's not, it's the visceral truth. That is where the instinct comes in. But because I don't have an intellectual interest, I won't even make an attempt at even just a sexual connection. Superficial is when you try to fake an intellectual connection just to get laid. I have also thought that a girl was awesome to talk to, but I had no interest in sleeping with them. That is how you end up meeting new friends. That is the difference between friendship and love, Physical/Sexual attraction. Through that you get more deeply involved with someones feelings. But, that is just my opinion, other people may not need Physical/Sexual attraction as much. Basically you have to find out what's important to you and not let people make you feel bad about it.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 67
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 10:53:09 PM

How does one explain those couples who have their 50th anniversary? ... each one looks like a wrinkly sack of flesh with some tufts of hair in odd places. Yet there is love...


This is silly and completely irrelevant to the actual topic. Couples who have been married for 50 years, and more, were probably more than likely physically attracted to each other.
 johnWbooth
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 68
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Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 11:02:55 PM
Yes you can.
When introduced with this one woman we just said hello. We had no feelings for each other or intrest should I say, deff. not the first connection many seek. After I was if I got her number I replied no I didnt and left. A few weeks later we did talk and eventually went out. As our talks increased we found alot in common with each and communication always went great for us both. We decided to date just each other and see where it lead. Feelings developed for both of us and we shared many good times.
This person I speak of was just your average looking woman, nothing super special that stood out for many people gaulk over. But her true beauty shown through communication and knowing her. That is what I fell in love with.

Anyone can sleep with someone out of loneliness or just because they feel a connection, But to actually sleep with someone you truely love is something very few people expirence.
Anyone can say I love you because this word gets tossed around so often and people take it granted. In my opinion I think most people mis-use the love word often. Most people think they are in love because they might thought they were but actually weren't. Just because you enjoy someones company and get along does not make it love.

To me you have to be able to feel something that can not be explained and it may sound corny but if you look into the eyes of a person you will know.
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 69
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/23/2010 11:44:39 PM
not for me , it's all part of the package
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 70
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/24/2010 12:19:00 AM

How does one explain those couples who have their 50th anniversary? ... each one looks like a wrinkly sack of flesh with some tufts of hair in odd places.

As unattractive as that may look to you or me, it doesn't mean they're not still physically attracted to each other. After all, when I was 8 I was attracted to boys around my age and now that I'm 39 I'm still attracted to guys around my age so I think it's quite possible to still be attracted to men my age when I'm 60. Not only that but the aging process is so slow that I think people get used to it as it's happening. It's not the same as a spouse who's gained 100 pounds in two years.
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 71
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/24/2010 12:58:32 AM
Is it possible for people to be in love with someone with no physical
attraction to them? And have sex with them and be satisfied?

Yes, it is!
I had a boyfriend who looked exactly like Shrek, without the green.
I wish I could post his picture here, you would see, what I'm talking about.
We were together for almost a year, I loved him for the person he was.
He was GREAT in bed.
None of my girlfriends could understand why would I want to be with this guy.
I was attracted to him as a person, I liked the way he thought, he was funny and kind.
Then again, I've never been into looks, I'm a sucker for funny.

Then again, I'm a woman.
Can men do that? I don't think so!
 2Irish1
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 72
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/24/2010 5:35:48 AM

How does one explain those couples who have their 50th anniversary? ... each one looks like a wrinkly sack of flesh with some tufts of hair in odd places.


I'd read this on the boards some time ago and believe it to be true for me:

At the start we must be pretty to each other..so that...we may grow old, gray, and wrinklie together...fighting over the last depends....

imo, you can fall in love with someone who's not physically attractive to you...you can have sex with them....but, IRL...this is not likely to happen....nor is it the way most of us would envision...our last first date...
 RonnieB77
Joined: 8/1/2009
Msg: 73
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/24/2010 5:38:01 AM
Some of you people really throw the 'L' word around.

I love pizza but is the loyalty and friendship we feel for our best friend really anything like Love? For me it is two different experiences not just a higher or lesser degree of one.

You don't get to choose who you fall in love with. You let anyone get close for a time and it can or can't, will or won't happen. It is a lock and key thing that happens on the deep psychological or chemical level. Open your heart, let your guard down and roll the dice, from this point on your emotions are out of your hands.

I fell deeply in love with someone I wasn't physically attracted to, and on a human level she totally repulsed me the first month or so that I knew her. I was young, open and earnest, and foolishly thought that people got to choose who they fell in love with.
 deb1961A
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 74
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/24/2010 5:38:59 AM
Nah.. i think there has to be some toe curling possibilities to take it to the next level and down the road to a loving relationship. Otherwise, its the old FWB zone.
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 75
Can you love someone you aren't physically attracted to?
Posted: 2/24/2010 6:44:31 AM
No! and No!



Charlie
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