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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 251
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?Page 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
^^ apollodorus,
Well, what about the laundry, ironing, dusting, vacuuming, paperwork, shopping, putting away groceries, art club (or whatever thing you're into), etc etc etc etc, (not to mention all the many things if you have children), that people have to do from after work till sleep time?

As for answering the phone, if it's going to be some sort of big deal that I don't answer occasionally < (the OP said it wasn't an always sort of thing), then I'd probably wonder what else will become some sort of 'big deal'.
 Butterfly~Effect
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 252
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 10:56:27 AM

Lets assume you have a 9 to 5 job, whats wrong with having 5pm to 8pm free for your date? your family and friends can see you on the weekends and if you have kids hire a baby sitter for those hours or talk on the phone.


You really are from Mars aren't you?

Oh sure....you know what...never mind, your right! YOU are so worth it for me...a single mom with a mortgage, bills and food to buy....for me to dish out $20.00 a night for a sitter so I can talk on the phone with you for 3 hours!!

UMMMMMMMMMMMM........NO!!!!

Sorry buddy.....no man (even Johnny Depp ) is worth the money or time away from my CHILDREN, FAMILY AND RESPONSIBLIES to take 3 hours a day to talk on the phone.....if he is only a date and especially if I just started dating him.

Now don't go starting the 'you don't have time to date' bs..because YOU know that a request such as what you stated is unreasonable.....for someone like me (or anyone with um....A CAREER) has the time to date....what they don't have sometimes is time to be spending with only their date. Even committed couples have different activities, hobbies and hopefully lives outside of their spouses...

Even in a fully committed relationship, unless your living together.....what kind of parent would do that? Oh yeah....a brainless, irresponsible one...You know the kind...they have social services and police at their door a couple of times a week. I'm sure with your attitude you've already dated one or two of them....maybe the cops can find you nice women with some spare time in their holding cells?

You know what...never mind...trying to explain this to someone with your mentally is probably futile.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 253
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 10:57:44 AM
I guess you people don't eat or have kids or have kids that have after school activities or go to the gym after work.

Sorry, but you don't live a normal life. Nobody hires a babysitter to talk on the phone. You must have lots of disposable money lying around. You don't live a life that most people do and you know nothing about the life a full sized family leads day to day.


Not to mention the original question wasn't about how long one talks, but answering the phone in the first place.


Good point and this is where I agree with you. Touching base quickly is not that difficult. I don't agree with a 2 hour long conversation every night.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 254
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 10:58:25 AM

Well, what about the laundry, ironing, dusting, vacuuming, paperwork, shopping, putting away groceries, art club (or whatever thing you're into), etc etc etc etc, (not to mention all the many things if you have children), that people have to do from after work till sleep time?


Those things do not have to be done every day and in fact that can all be done on a Sunday afternoon or morning.


what kind of parent would do that


a responsible one would do that because if the relationship is not working it reflects on the kids as well.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 255
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 11:02:15 AM
Lets assume you have a 9 to 5 job, whats wrong with having 5pm to 8pm free for your date? your family and friends can see you on the weekends and if you have kids hire a baby sitter for those hours or talk on the phone.

If you are truly that busy you should not be focusing on dating because you don't have time for it.


^^Apollo: I'm not sure what your "world" is like, but.........

How about this: I don't get home until 7pm, then onto my home responsibilities and rest up for the my next work day. My life does not revolve around dating. I have time, when I am able to make time. My life is not going to be on crisis mode if I don't have a date on Friday night much less during the work-week. If I do, it is because I have the time and it jives with my potential date.

What do you do all day? Maybe you have more time to splurge on "dates". You are always imposing your views on others, and it just doesn't work that way. You may be sitting home all day, but a lot of us aren't.....................


VVV Time for Two: Oh, we are ALL so familiar with his thought-process. It's like squeezing blood out of a rock.........lol!
 Time_For_Two
Joined: 1/11/2011
Msg: 256
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 11:03:39 AM
People why would you even waist your time replying to Apol? Seeing all his past posts he is just going to become more and more outrageous. I am sure he is sitting at home laughing at everyone for believing everything he types.

he slightly amuses me, but really replying to him only makes it worse lol
 Butterfly~Effect
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 257
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 11:06:10 AM

People why would you even waist your time replying to Apol? Seeing all his past posts he is just going to become more and more outrageous. I am sure he is sitting at home laughing at everyone for believing everything he types.

he slightly amuses me, but really replying to him only makes it worse lol


Your right....It's hard to tell if he's actually a moron or pretending to play one on the POF forums.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 258
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 11:07:06 AM
post 257^^^^^ as I said you do not just talk or go out with your date because you are bored, dating is a serious thing and should not be taken lightly and if you can't fork over the needed time you should not be dating.

What I am surprised about is I that I have to actually explain how you are suppose to date to a bunch of 40+ year old ladies. A date is not some toy that you play with whenever the feeling is right.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 259
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 11:12:04 AM
post 257^^^^^ as I said you do not just talk ot go out with your date because you are bored, dating is a serious thing and should not be taken lightly and if you can't fork over the needed time you should not be dating.

What I am surprised about is I that I have to actually explain how you are suppose to date to a bunch of 40+ year old ladies, that is very laughable.



^^^As I asked, "What do you do all day?" Make soap? Well some of us actually lead productive lives..............and buy our soap!

You don't have to explain a thing to me because I know what works for me. You on the other hand are in denial like a mofo!
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 260
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 11:15:58 AM
Apollo, I don't mean any disrespect or to be snarky. But here's the thing. Us "40 year old ladies" have probably already had families. We get up at 6 AM and work and come home and maybe it's 6 PM by then - meals, laundry, take the dog for a walk, talk to our kids...and probably want to get to bed at a decent hour (I have some issues and I go to bed earlier than most). My boys are grown, one left at home, and quite frankly I ENJOY speaking to him, when our paths cross!

I remember a few years back dating someone who, almost literally, wanted to be in constant contact with me. God forbid I'd want to get off the phone and start some wash or clean my bathroom. That was a huge part in the whole thing ending. Nice guy, but I couldn't take it anymore.

I remember BEFORE I had my children, I WAS on the phone for 2, 3, 4 hours at a time. At this point in my life, I have NO PROBLEM with emails during the day, and a call at night - but it can't be from the minute I get in the door until the minute I go to sleep. If that's what it needs to be - he needs to just come over and talk to me while I cook dinner and do the dishes!
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 261
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 11:21:05 AM

Good point and this is where I agree with you. Touching base quickly is not that difficult. I don't agree with a 2 hour long conversation every night.


My kids are all grown and on their own now, but I must admit there are days when I don't have the energy to talk for two hours, especially if I work a double shift, and that is 17 hours, and with the drive back and forth 19 and a half hours. So after that I really just want to sleep but maybe can do a five minute talk.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 262
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 11:26:51 AM
Apollo, im curious on this , so im wondering if you can answer this?
If you've never had kids, how can you dictate how a mother should spend her time or allocate funds for dating/talking on the phone?

Its like writing a report on a book without ever reading the book.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 263
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 11:40:30 AM
Apollodorus is in a wheelchair and on disability. The government pays for him to talk on the phone all day.

Us 40+ year old ladies don't have that luxury.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 264
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 11:42:16 AM
post64^^^^well my opinion is any single mother that has kids should not be dating until there kids are able to do things on there own however if one chooses to date you have to do what it takes regardless as to whether you have kids or not.

What I have stated in this thread is the bare minimum it takes to have proper dates.


Apollodorus is in a wheelchair and on disability. The government pays for him to talk on the phone all day.


You are assuming this is the case but how do you know for sure, you could very wrong about this.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 265
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 11:51:49 AM
Apollodorus is in a wheelchair and on disability. The government pays for him to talk on the phone all day.

Seems like unnecessary roughness. While there isn't always time for hours long conversations, there is always time for a conversation. Yes most of us have work, kids, grandkids, pets and other things we want/need to do but when you are dating someone if you want it to become more you have to make time for that too.

Apollodorus you have to admit that if you don't have children and you don't work that maybe you do have more free time than most people. Sometimes I really don't want to talk, like now, I really just want to veg out in front of the tv until I have to go to work tonight. If the phone rings I will answer and talk, but honestly I don't want to. Never mind I am going to take a nap before I have to go to work. 10 hours is a long night, without sleep.

Apollodorus you state on your profile that you are in a wheelchair.



 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 266
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 11:58:01 AM
I could be wrong, but if I am, you are a liar, since this what you have stated in another thread.
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 267
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:09:11 PM

Lets assume you have a 9 to 5 job, whats wrong with having 5pm to 8pm free for your date?


Apollo, first let me say I have tried dating a single mom - more than once , so I think I have the experience to give you a valid opinion and say you're being a tad unreasonable.
I agree that if a woman can't/won't juggle her schedule in order to make time for a relationship she shouldn't bother until she can OR find someone who doesn't mind.

When you say 5 -8pm, are you talking every day ? Or once/week ?
If she has children you shouldn't expect this more than once/week.
Besides, are you going to be waiting at her job at 5pm or do you expect someone to invent a Star Trek style transporter unit so she can beam over to you right at 5 ?

Also, you have to expect a woman will need to see her kids after working all day, I don't care how wonderful you may be , which means she will want to make/eat dinner with them.

That being said, weeknights are going to be after dinner if at all. If you last long enough to meet the kids you could then eat dinner with them, like "graduating" to a bigger time slot.

Weekends are going to be what you hope for but that depends on whether or not she shares custody with her ex.

For example, if her ex gets the kids every other weekend then that other weekend is all for you ( you would hope). But even then she's going to need time to catch up on the house work.

Bottom line, it's not easy dating a single mom.

Some can handle it , some can't.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 268
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:13:58 PM

I don't think anyone needs any reason to not answer a phone. If I don't feel like talking then why is it manditory to drop everything, answer the phone just to say I don't feel like talking. Leave a voice mail message asking for a return call when they are available.

Ring Ring: Hello?
Caller: What's going on?
SO: Uh don't feel like talking right now, I'll call you later.
Caller: Why? What's Wrong?
SO: Nothing, just don't feel like talking.
Caller: Did something happen? Are you ok?
SO: I'm fine I just don't Fvcking feel like talking on the Fvcking phone!
Caller: Is it me? Did I do something?
SO: Uuuhhhggghhhh (disconnect)

If they don't want to answer the phone they won't, don't mandate it as common courtesy.... get over it!


Exactly!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 269
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:14:51 PM
I really don't understand the debate here. The whole talking on the phone thing would seem like something that gets sorted out before getting into a relationship. I dated women who were interested in me enough to want to talk to me on the phone. If I called and a woman couldn't answer the phone, fine. If she didn't return calls or simply didn't answer the phone often enough, I figured he wasn't all that interested. Anyone can find some time within the day to at least acknowledge a phone call, even if it's to say, ``I haven't had time to talk, I'll call you when I can.'' My fiancee and I talk everyday, before work, usually at lunch and then again after work, often more than once. We've done that since we started dating. Hell, my best friend even talks to me every day on the phone. Given that most people have cell phones these days, I would think that a quick return call or even a text message acknowledging the call would not be especially difficult. People that have different ideas about keeping in touch are probably not good matches, so if phone time is an issue at the very start, it's probably best to never start dating.
 Friendly widow
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 270
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:20:40 PM
Hardly a dealbreaker! Most people have some kind of voice mail, so I figure if someone calls and it is important that they will leave a message.I will return the call at my earliest convenience, depending on its import. Lots of times I have called just to chat and my son will indicate he is not up for that.Better I know than wonder if I have done something wrong! Also there are lots of people who dislike chatting on the phone-why should this be an issue?Offer alternatives and see how they respond.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 271
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:21:04 PM
I could be wrong, but if I am, you are a liar, since this what you have stated in another thread.


I would never state any other information other then the fact that I am in a wheelchair because that is too personal for over the internet so anyone who says I do not have a job or I am on disability is just assuming.


When you say 5 -8pm, are you talking every day ? Or once/week ?


Every day, if you truly can't spend at least 3 hours of everyday with your date then you do not have time to date.

For the record I have dated a single mom and will never do that again because they do not have the time.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 272
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:22:34 PM
Hey, ya answer the phone ya talk...ya don't answer the phone they leave a message...ya don't answer the phone they hang up pizzed...then I say it's time for "next"...
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 273
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:23:49 PM

post64^^^^well my opinion is any single mother that has kids should not be dating until there kids are able to do things on there own however if one chooses to date you have to do what it takes regardless as to whether you have kids or not.

What I have stated in this thread is the bare minimum it takes to have proper dates.
but thats just it, its your opinion, I used to be in the same camp as you regarding single parents with young children shouldn't date, but Ive come to realize there are a number of single parents that can balance mother/fatherhood and dating, emphasis on their children comes first and that I get.

Where im having a problem with your " opinion" is how is that you can state how a mother or father should do this and should do that in order to satisfy their potential partner? Working 9-5 is hard enough for some people then to come home, feed the kids, homework blah blah blah, and you think they should hire someone from 5-8 so they can chat on the phone or go out? I dont understand the logic behind it or your thinking?
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 274
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:29:39 PM
The logic behind is that if these people want to date they should be taking time out of each day for there date regardless of any else going in there life, it takes dedication to date and you don't just do it because you are bored one day and need something to do.
 Friendly widow
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 275
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/17/2011 12:32:50 PM
Nor can I, but I cannot find much logic in most of his posts!
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