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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?      Home login  
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 gonewalkabout2
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 201
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?Page 9 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

or better yet just set that sucker on vibrate and stick it down their pants for who ever calls......

*ok EVEN I admit that was a little over the top*


...even better when she calls 16 times a day


I think you are on to something there REDDRAGON
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 202
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/26/2010 4:17:05 PM
~OT~ There are two people I answer, one I answer no matter what I'm doing (without exception.) All others? Leave a message or don't. That's entirely up to the other person. I love lengthy substance filled conversations, but you can't have those on/off all day long, therefor? I see no reason to fill the airwaves with chit-chat. If someone wants to talk to me, we both need time to do so. Fortunately, the people in my life all are of the same mindset.
 clickychick
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 203
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/27/2010 12:38:36 AM
Oy vey!
Personally, I hate it when the person I'm calling answers only long enough to say, "I can't talk right now."
Why the heck did you answer the phone then?!?!?!!?

I will sometimes look at the phone and see who is calling. If I'm busy, or about to be busy, or in the middle of washing dishes or in a meeting... I don't answer. But I WILL call them back later when I have ample free time.

Also consider, if you are talking about a woman... sometimes I have the phone in my purse. And further, the purse is in the desk drawer--- and I'm working. So I'm A) not even gonna hear the phone ring. and B) I'm not going to even check my phone until I go to lunch or leave work.

I knew a guy who would be all upset that I didn't answer every time the phone rang! Um, hello, I have things to do.
Sometimes I miss the days of only having a landline phone and no answering machine. If I'm not home.... my free time is already filled. catch ya later.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 204
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/27/2010 1:23:49 AM

Personally, I hate it when the person I'm calling answers only long enough to say, "I can't talk right now."
Why the heck did you answer the phone then?!?!?!!?

This comment triggered me to think about the flaw of this course of action. Let's say I'm calling with some information that I need to pass on because I might be unavailable later and the person answers with a "I don't want to talk right now" then I'm either forced to disregard their desire and pass on the information anyway or I have to call back to leave a message. If someone can't spare at least a minute or two, I would always prefer to go directly to voice mail.
 afather1st
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 205
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/27/2010 2:09:16 AM
If it's a rare occasion your overreacting.

If it happens a lot, then yeah, you're not very high on their list.

I personally wouldn't want to be with someone who frequently intentionally doesn't answer when I call.

Actions speak louder than words, or lack thereof.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 206
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/27/2010 2:21:12 AM
This entire thing comes down to respecting your partner's space. If your partner is busy leave them a message and do not keep calling repeatedly..

It is really simple.. You want respect then give it. They were not put here to be at your beckoned call..

thecatsmeoww
 afather1st
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 207
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/27/2010 2:50:10 AM
"If your partner is busy leave them a message and do not keep calling repeatedly.."

I don' think the partner being busy was the case, just that she didn't want to talk to him.
Not being able to answer the phone is different.

I agree, It's about space. And If my SO wants so much space that they don't answer the phone on a regular basis, then it's space that they will get.

Occasionally, I can see, but regularly, not so much.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 208
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/27/2010 4:27:25 AM
Isnt this why they invented caller ID...to see who is calling so you can decide if you feel like talking to that person?

There are times I just dont feel like talking on the phone. Leave a message, Ill call back when I am up to it. No biggie.

I manage helpdesk by day, when I get home, a ringing phone is sometimes the last thing I want to hear. I like to get changed, make dinner for my son, and then when that is all put away, I feel decompressed, and will likely answer any call...but call me within the first hour of being home, and you are likely to get my machine. Anyone who actually knows me, knows this about me, and if pressed on it, they will get told just that. If my reasons are not good enough, you may as well say it's over, as I would feel disrespected, he'd be hurt..not a good scene at all.

Id actually be more receptive to the 'drop in', than a phone call during that time of day.

This is about knowing your partners qwirks, and either accepting them or not. If you cannot accept it, leave. Trying to force someone to your way of communicating wont work. The OP needs to realize, not every action taken by your SO is about YOU. Sometimes they are just recharging for later, and it has nothing to do with you, they would need that recharge time regardless if they were dating you or not, so dont make it about you.
 *pisceseyes
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 209
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/27/2010 6:17:33 PM


Personally, after a 16 hour day, I get home and just want to have quiet time. I don't keep my phone close to me. If it rings, I don't want to go find it to answer it. Whoever it is can leave a message and call back. If they don't leave a message, I won't call them back.

Those who say that it's unfair for the one to ignore the call to only talk on his/her time frame....why is it fair for him/her to talk on your time frame?

There are days where bad stuff happens. And when you get home, you don't want to deal with anyone for a bit.


Well "said"!

I hate talking on the phone as it is and Ive experienced it from one man in particular, calling me numerous times during the day when he KNEW I was on the floor working...very DISRESPECTFUL
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 210
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/27/2010 8:12:04 PM
Well, I'm sort of experiencing the same thing right now. Although our story goes back several months filled with arguments, etc. However, I put an end to the fights and we could finally start talking like normal people again.

Anyway, to cut a long story short... We broke off like 6 times and in the end I just stopped answering. She got on my nerves and she'd lied about her contact with other men, her online habits, etc. Days turned into weeks and finally I sent her a message. She replied after an hour. I wrote back and she didn't. About a week later she called, we talked for a while and the call was cut off. I tried several times and I couldn't get through. I continued a few days and finally the call got through with disturbance and she told me that she'd been to the hospital, etc.

After that she's pretty much ignored every message and phone call that I've made. So tonight I wrote an email saying that if she wished to stop all contact with me she could just say so. Our "relationship" is over anyway no matter how you look at it. It's nothing but a pathetic, little story that no one should put up with. I just want closure, to end the chapter properly instead of acting like a silly teenager.

So that's it. Depending on your intention(s) it can indeed be irritating if someone doesn't answer OR return your calls. It is disrepectful not to get back to somebody. She's seen my calls and my messages. Fine, she's sick, but I have a hard time seeing how she could be THAT sick. After all, she DID reply twice to my messages but not since a week back. The point being, if you're well enough to answer one message I can't see how you can be sick enough not to answer the second shortly after, which by the way included a simple question.
 Hiiwayman
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 211
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/27/2010 9:53:06 PM
I answer all calls in a timely manner. Anything else is plain rude. I expect the same. Anything else is plainly rude. If it takes a week for you get to around to answering back ( without a valid reason) I assume you are pretty stuck on yourself and trying to leave me with the message that I’m not all that important to you. Nope if someone takes the time to call me I take the time to answer them. Its called common courtesy for you selfish types that still don’t know the difference.
 jesscarmen4
Joined: 12/1/2007
Msg: 212
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 3/1/2010 12:46:28 AM
Definitely agree with you SassySky! For me, if I like a guy, I do like to talk on the phone at least 3 times a week. Not necessarily hour long conversations, just enough to hear their voice and hear how their week is going. But depending on who the person is that's calling...yeah sometimes I just ignore the call! If it's important they will either shoot a text afterwards or leave a voicemail saying 'hey call me back I need to tell you about abc'.

I actually have a perfect example for you considering I'm in the same situation right now, but roles are reversed. I'm talking to this guy that I met at a wedding last fall. We have only hung out at the wedding, and he lives all the way in Florida. I'm going to vacation to see him soon and I'm pretty excited to hang out. But he just has all these annoying habits that scream desperation and neediness that are driving me crazy!!!

One of the things he's doing is calling every night. A lot of times I'm in the middle of homework, watching my show, cooking dinner, just got done working out, etc...whatever the reason I'm not in the mood to chat or don't have much to talk about and just want to relax. There has been quite a few times where I said to him 'I'm too tired too chat, text me" or "I'm gonna let you go now, I'm tired and wanna get off the phone." His reactions always piss me off, cuz he either gets all quiet or acts shocked that I don't want to have a 3 hour conversation. He basically acts offended that I would even want to get off the phone! He even texts me in the middle of the day to say "I want to call you later, we need to talk, why haven't we been talking as much?" UMM HELLOOOO CUZ YOU'RE STUCK UP MY ASS!!! Needy needy needy!! On top of all that, he keeps talking in 3rd person *very annoying* and he keeps on asking 'where we stand' or 'how do I feel about him' or 'have my feelings changed because we aren't talking as often'......WHEN WE'VE ONLY HUNG OUT ONCE!!! My god, if that isn't needy I don't know what is!

Also, I've even told him his actions are annoying me and that I like mystery, he's just being way too over the top...he said he'd stop but he hasn't. I just want to tell him to quit being a sally and to remove his head from my sphincter lol!!!
 Eldrida
Joined: 11/13/2009
Msg: 213
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 3/1/2010 12:49:54 AM
I hate phones and am not interested in "sooooo... how's... stuff?" rambling conversations from anyone via that medium.

I also resent the fact that because I have a phone, people think they're entitled to contact me regardless of what I am doing or where I am, and think that I absolutely MUST speak with them.

Yeah, I confess, I don't answer my phone if I don't want to talk. If a guy was ringing me every hour, I'd be even more inclined to ignore his calls. That sort of behaviour is a serious turn-off to me. If you ring and I don't answer, leave a text or a voicemail. I'll get back to you. Don't call 20 more times. Ugh.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 214
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/15/2011 11:33:59 PM

Phones may be the most intrusive device ever invented. I appreciate their value and all, but damn, I dislike them.
****************************************************************************
Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.
**************************************************************
No you aren't.

and you can add my name to that list as well.

Add me to that list as well.I hate the phone.As far as I am concerned the only reason I don't have my service cut off is if I need it to call for emergency purposes like an ambulance.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 215
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/16/2011 12:28:19 AM
i dont give out my number, if you are not on the friends list, I aint picking it up. If you are on the friends list, depending on what I am up too, it is going to voicemail.

my carrier actually wanted to cut my service off because I never exceed more than 30 minutes a month on the damn thing.
 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 216
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/16/2011 1:59:39 AM

I'm not talking about calling a hundred times a day. Or that we are upset at the other, everything is fine.

I'm talking about seeing it ring, seeing it's you calling and deciding not to answer it for no good reason except they did not feel like talking at that time. To me common courtesy would be if you just do not want to talk at that time to answer the call and say, "can I call you back later I'm doing xyz".

But to see your SO call and then call again an hour later and still not answer the phone. Then when they actually do call back they tell you they just did not feel like talking at that time and do not understand why your upset.

I look at it like this, the phone rings I see it's my SO and say to myself "**** her, I'll call back when I feel like it" and then expect her to be okay with that. I see it as rude behavior.

What is the deal breaker?
You probably call too often for her. She doesn't like you as much as you like her, is not that interested in talking to you daily or more than once a day. Back off. Give her some space. See if absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or, instead of playing games, ask her how she feels about you. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, trite but so very true. I think she is probably just not that into you and you should move on and find someone who truly values you.
 niagara45
Joined: 8/15/2010
Msg: 217
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/16/2011 7:21:51 AM

I'm talking about seeing it ring, seeing it's you calling and deciding not to answer it for no good reason except they did not feel like talking at that time.


Not feeling like talking IS a good reason to not answer the phone. I will always answer the phone when my parents call ( they are old, and who knows what might happen) and my kids, as I am responsible for them. Apart from that, if I don't want to talk, I don't answer.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 218
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/16/2011 8:26:13 AM
I will always answer the phone when my parents call ( they are old, and who knows what might happen) and my kids, as I am responsible for them. Apart from that, if I don't want to talk, I don't answer.


A person who has this kind of attitude is not ready for a relationship, your date should be above your family and kids or at the vary least at par with your family and kids.

Any date who puts other things before me does not deserve me, i should be the most important in my dates life and if I call I don't want a I just didn't feel like answering the phone as a reason for not answering the phone.

 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 219
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/16/2011 8:36:40 AM

I will always answer the phone when my parents call ( they are old, and who knows what might happen) and my kids, as I am responsible for them. Apart from that, if I don't want to talk, I don't answer.




A person who has this kind of attitude is not ready for a relationship, your date should be above your family and kids or at the vary least at par with your family and kids.

Any date who puts other things before me does not deserve me, i should be the most important in my dates life
Go get 'em tiger!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 220
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/16/2011 8:40:44 AM

A person who has this kind of attitude is not ready for a relationship, your date should be above your family and kids or at the vary least at par with your family and kids.

Any date who puts other things before me does not deserve me, i should be the most important in my dates life

Well, anyone who would put a date above their parents or their children doesn't deserve to have a family.
But, then again, if you are an adult of free will, you can set any standards you like for your dates and relationships. While not for a minute suggesting that anyone should be "realistic", or adjust their expectations, I do want to point out that if your standards are higher than the norm, you are going to have a smaller pool of candidates. Probably one's best bet for immediate response and availability in a relationship partner would be one with no job, no family or kids, no friends, no interests or commmittments other than being at the beck and call of a partner who is so insecure that they require continuous attention.
Cindy O
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 221
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/16/2011 8:44:04 AM
OP - if a woman you are dating/sexing does not answer the phone...brah...she aint' that into you man.


that being said, we all should set boundaries, expectations, etc of the people we are dating...likes/dislikes....

if you have a way you like to communicate on the phone with a girl- then you tell your girl how you like to communicate...she will tell you how she likes to communicate and then you go from there.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 222
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Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/16/2011 8:46:28 AM

Any date who puts other things before me does not deserve me, i should be the most important in my dates life and if I call I don't want a I just didn't feel like answering the phone as a reason for not answering the phone.


A DATE should think you are the most important thing in their life??



 Butterfly~Effect
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 223
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/16/2011 8:47:48 AM

A person who has this kind of attitude is not ready for a relationship, your date should be above your family and kids or at the vary least at par with your family and kids.

Any date who puts other things before me does not deserve me, i should be the most important in my dates life and if I call I don't want a I just didn't feel like answering the phone as a reason for not answering the phone.


^^^^^Any person with THIS attitude is not ready to date!!

Good lord ....Are you 12? Normal, sane ADULTS do not have this attitude...especially over just a DATE.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 224
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/16/2011 2:33:22 PM
I hear what the OP is trying to say, but honestly- if he's not with her, how can he be certain she actually is just dismissing his calls??


Thing is OP- when a girl is into you bro...she WILL be answering her phone barring her being unable to. In fact- she will almost assuredly call you before you get a chance to call her!


Of course, this is a chat of mine i like to have when I begin dating a girl exclusively...

""ok- look sweetie- I like to talk to you as I can. If I call you and you really are unable to answer the phone...ie at work, in the shower, honestly really busy taking care of something...hey no problem, its cool- i understand....just call me as soon as you are finished...

otherwise, I might get the idea that you are laying in a ditch somewhere dead...you aren't really that into being with me...or
you're laying on your back in some other guy's bed..

and so long as your not in a ditch somewhere- the other reasons are ok, but i'm not gonna play the phone game with you.

show me the same respect that I show you. and if not, I'm not that interested in staying in this thing we got going"


its just boundaries and ground rules of expectations....
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 225
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/16/2011 3:55:33 PM
I will admit a one off is ok for using the excuse I just didn't feel like answering the phone however my problem with something like this is if it is a continuous thing then that is completely disrespectful. The world does not revolve around my dates schedule and I expect to be at the very least an equal and no less important then the most important things in my dates life not below anyone and if you do not believe that is how it should be not you need to re evaluate your moral compass because it is misaligned.
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