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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > How long without sex before lowering your standards?      Home login  
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 mydoggie
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 51
How long without sex before lowering your standards?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Even if you've been without sex for awhile, you should not go and lower your standards. It reeks of desperation and loneliness.

If you have to go this route, try and find a FWB.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 52
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 8:06:03 AM
Never.

But let's look at this from the perspective of men, and then the perspective of women. Women are attracted to character, so she may not find the guy at first to be super hot, but because of the character of the guy she then finds him physically attractive and sexually desirable. Of course all this had to have the initial chemistry and some degree of sexual tension. But there are a lot of women that since they want to play the friend thing first, postpone sex so long that when they actually have it, they no longer find the guy desirable.

Now men are attracted to women, first by the physical presence, that does not necessarily means that she has to be a 10, but that has those intrinsic qualities that he finds desirable. I have known a lot of guys that after a few drinks, their standards go down, down, down. The problem they have is that they ALWAYS end up lowering their standards and ending up with women that they do not want to have relationships with. It's a bad situation for both of them. That is why I prefer not to lower my standards. If worse comes to worse, I'll have my right hand, or then try my left hand, everybody is happy.

Also. I like the type of sex that you have with one partner, where there's plenty of intimacy, and the sex is for the longer haul. So simply being horny is not enough to seek some piece of meat quench the evenings thirst.
 Harleygirl269
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 53
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 1:35:29 PM
LMAO dependends who will find out, if you can live with yourself, that is why I own shares in the ever ready batteries! LOL! As well body pillow and wheat bag when I just want to cuddle!!
 SassySky
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 54
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 1:44:13 PM

So my question: how long without it before you start expanding your pool of options, thus considering partners you wouldn't even think of if you were mildly satisfied? One month, one week, one hour? Is it increasingly wider, or just a temporary mind blur that resorts back to normal once relieved?

I don't lower my standards period. Nor should anyone else I believe.There is such thing as cold showers if all else fails
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 55
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 4:51:58 PM
I expect that the honest answers you'll get to this will vary by the age and experience of the guy. When I was in college, the "any port in a storm or a sunny day" concept was pretty common. The older I've survived, the less likely I or anyone I've known would make that choice, because I've learned the hard way that therein lies little real satisfaction, and likely a TON of trouble. On the other hand, I have felt extra lonely and/or hungry for affection on occasion, so I suppose that with the right alignment of the planets, that I could end up fooling myself with someone CLOSE to my "standards." It isn't just the amount of time, though, it's more about how life in general is going from day to day.
This is also an amusing question for me from another standpoint: throughout my life, I've heard people talk about the frequency of sexual interaction as though it's a measure of things like the health of their relationship, or a way to tell if you are a REAL man, and a few other such things.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 56
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 4:56:18 PM
Well over 40 if you're in shape and employed....
you meet every woman's basic standard,
so never have to lower your own.
:-)
 Amillio-Bello
Joined: 2/6/2010
Msg: 57
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 5:02:55 PM
I get many women, so it's not a question of how long without sex, the thing is I will NEVER lower my standards because I don't need to. I get women looking at me everywhere I go it seems, it's like I can never have one moment out in public without a lady looking at me with lust.

Now there are some people that may want to lower their standards in order for them to find someone who would date them, like chubby,bald, short or people with any other disability like that!! But if you have looks and body going for you, thats all it really takes to get any woman/man you want!!
 SassySky
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 58
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 5:13:20 PM

Now there are some people that may want to lower their standards in order for them to find someone who would date them, like chubby,bald, short or people with any other disability like that!! But if you have looks and body going for you, thats all it really takes to get any woman/man you want!!


Wow...short people is a disabilty... I learned something new today, Here I am barely 5'1" if I stretch and have never had to lower my standards anywhere to get a date.
Meh...height is not a disabilty...
 Amillio-Bello
Joined: 2/6/2010
Msg: 59
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 5:18:39 PM

Wow...short people is a disabilty... I learned something new today, Here I am barely 5'1" if I stretch and have never had to lower my standards anywhere to get a date.
Meh...height is not a disabilty...


Well anything that prevents people from getting a date is a disability. Short and the other two I mentioned are 3 major ones!! You know that!!
 Juste moi Danielle
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 60
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 5:23:03 PM

Now there are some people that may want to lower their standards in order for them to find someone who would date them, like chubby,bald, short or people with any other disability like that!!


Gah. Arrogance and ignorance in it's purest form.



*Looks around for the Clorox.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 61
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 5:57:03 PM
So would you consider someone who runs a post and then goes in billboarding a contradiction of themselves, or simply impaired in personality or character , thereby falling under your disability clause?
IMO, your statement about anyone who had looks can get whoever they want- can standards actually get lower than that self- induced standard ?
Anything that impairs the ability to get a date is a disability? So this post is now a disability ?
So mxny contradictions.
Targeting people for who they are is lame.
My best friends bf is bald ( shaved) and he's hotter than hell on a holiday.
IMO, the most negative persona is someone who is prejudiced and lacking humility.
These are all personal opinions that I'll stick strongly by.
Btw that's my answer in relation to your post. Sticking by my standards.
 Kranck
Joined: 11/30/2009
Msg: 62
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 6:17:00 PM
I get women looking at me everywhere I go it seems, it's like I can never have one moment out in public without a lady looking at me with lust.

Me too! That's why I came here… just to get away from those pesky women.
ps: I am lowering my standards almost daily. I may even consider joining the human race.
 gdaddy47reader
Joined: 8/7/2009
Msg: 63
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 6:42:51 PM
I know for myself it's been 2 years. Had some offers like FWB but chose not to. Sex is great but it does complicate things. Wait til the right one comes along and then "complicate". Am I weird? So be it!
 Souad
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 64
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 6:46:36 PM
I don't think I've ever lowered my standards. I've been attracted to each and every man I've ever been intimately involved with. The details of some are clearer than others, but there's always been an attraction.
It isn't so difficult to find someone who is physically attractive. I seem to have difficulty in finding the entire package, so to speak. Who defines their "standards" anyhow? I seem to do best with instinct, it's never failed me.
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 65
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 9:05:17 PM
Never. why I haven't gotten laid in a while, lol. I did start talking to someone about fwb..but I don't actually consider that lowering my standards. Though in my case it is expanding the options a bit. Still have almost the same hella standards though. In fact , more in some ways. On top of everything else..gotta be someone I'm not going to fall for and visa versa. And still have that strong chemistry. It's tricky business....why I have stayed away from it thus far.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 66
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/2/2010 9:21:33 PM
Not to tell tales but I'd be surprised that not more don't admit to indiscretions .... as a time or two I've spent chatting with my girlfriends and one of us didn't ask the age old question "WHY DID I DO THAT?" .... the rest of us laughing.... wellllllllll........ it just happens... once or twice in a lifetime....
 Green_Traffic_Lights
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 67
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/3/2010 1:42:16 AM
>So my question: how long without it before you start expanding your pool of options, thus considering partners >you wouldn't even think of if you were mildly satisfied? One month, one week, one hour? Is it increasingly wider, >or just a temporary mind blur that resorts back to normal once relieved?

Never. There are two types of women in this world.

1. The type that turn me on.

2. The type that don't.

Men, listen. IMO you should always date more than one woman so that you don't run into these dry spells. If one trys to hold back sex, it's no big deal. Also, don't ever lie to a woman about seeing other people if she asks. That would be totally LAME. She can either accept it or move on.

Sly
 gycraig2
Joined: 12/18/2009
Msg: 68
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/3/2010 2:53:12 AM
hmmm standards ?? everyone iv ever met has higher standards than themselves. if you cant offer anything special you cant have " standards"

brad pitt can have standards most of us normal people arent better than other people

like my geeky mate has the highest "standards" ever. hes a virgin is it cause of his standards you reckon or cause hes a loser. with " standards" as a way to not feel bad about it ??


by they way if ur a sex god with all the women looking at you in lust ?? why are you in a dating website ???
 Shoedaddy
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 69
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/3/2010 3:18:46 AM
'Lowering standards' ..? Hell, most men satisfy themselves sexually with women who only exist in 2 dimensions and in recorded images- so I don't see how so many men speak with such pride and conviction that they would 'never settle' regardless of circumstance. I for example don't regularly have much trouble courting a fairly decent 'level' (on issue of desirability) of woman; but in honesty, I don't see offering my penis to the oral cavity of an overweight, and otherwise unattractive woman as lowering my standards (as long as nobody knows about it :p). That activity is included among my 'standard'; but at the same time, I am aware that not everybody views sex as recreationally and hedonistic as I do.

Look at women who indulge in swinger gangbangs and such for another example of something similar to my p.o.v. . There are few standards/restrictions on sex for these women (and the accompanying men for that matter). The notion of (sexual) 'standards' in itself is not a universal concept it would seem.
 Eldrida
Joined: 11/13/2009
Msg: 70
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How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/3/2010 4:17:07 AM
I don't have some ephemeral "bar" by which to measure men suitable for me to sleep with. I treat everyone as an individual- and I either want to sleep with an individual or I don't. Thus, I can't lower standards that don't, in the sense you mean, exist.

I wouldn't have sex with someone I didn't love, so I'm satisfied that I'm doing what's right for me to do. Those are my standards for me, not standards I put on other people.
 *~*ChardyGirl*~*
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 71
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/3/2010 4:20:08 AM

I can never have one moment out in public without a lady looking at me with lust.


Aaw,c'mon,lol..........you have got to be joking!



chubby,bald, short or people with any other disability like that!!

Huh???
Now,you are REALLY showing your ignorance.
These physical traits are NOT disabilities?
I really have to wonder where you get your skewered ideas from.
 Zebra Circle
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 72
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/3/2010 6:43:06 AM

So my question: how long without it before you start expanding your pool of options, thus considering partners you wouldn't even think of if you were mildly satisfied? One month, one week, one hour?

I can go about four -- maybe five -- hours. After that, I'll usually hit a senior center.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 73
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/12/2010 11:02:47 AM

(** eva **) So my question: how long without it before you start expanding your pool of options, thus considering partners you wouldn't even think of if you were mildly satisfied? One month, one week, one hour? Is it increasingly wider, or just a temporary mind blur that resorts back to normal once relieved?


My standards are already incredibly low...

Tozaar...
 DebiDuzDishes
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 74
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/12/2010 11:23:54 AM
I know im not a man. Im the one holding myself BACK from sex.. not them.

but.. after my husband.. 2 yrs.. and my standards lowered..lol.. he didnt last long..

then 21 months after him.. i was out raising hell and Kissing 24 yr olds.. THO that was fun.. i surely wasnt gonna sleep with them. I fell madly in lust with an old fart shortly after that.. :)) As i only sleep with old guys.
 putonghua73
Joined: 3/3/2010
Msg: 75
How long without sex before lowering your standards?
Posted: 3/12/2010 2:09:00 PM
My moral standing is lying down.

I have to admit that the 'idea' of casual sex is seductive ("different partner every night / so narcotic, outta sight"), however I discovered during my teens that there is a credibility gap between the 'idea' and actual 'reality'.

I have had casual encounters (teens, 20s), but never performed the biblical act outside of a relationship / situation. I do have standards, and those standards are less to do with physical attraction i.e. I (sadly) do not expect Tia Carrera, than they are to do with the intimate situation, chemistry, personality and the character of the other person. The last two are simply non-negotiable.

The credibility gap formed during my youth has made an indelible impression on my life, growing up to realise that 'American Gigolo' Hollywood style sex does not generally happen. And most women do not really wish to listen to Blondie's 'Call Me' during 'intimate' moments (nor sadly, Iggy Pop, for that matter ...).

Casual encounters are far too random, and involve too much compromise. I have an issue with sex in relationships, in that I have never particularly felt that penetrative sex is as cracked up as it is made to be - not nearly as good in most cases, the cuddling, exploring, kissing and the heightened sexual tension of the build up.

Perhaps my psychological make-up likes the thrill, frisson and possibilities of what could happen, whilst what does happen does not quite live up to the billing.

I simply don't lower my standards to have a sexual encounter for the sake of a sexual encounter. After all, I have come out of a 2 and a half year LDR [lond-distance relationship] where I didn't see my ex for 18 months! At least I could feel a little righteous and virtuous through the reduction of my carbon emissions during this period, right? ;)

Do I have sexual urges? Hell, yes! However, I am not prepared to compromise my standards or personal integrity just to scratch an itch, so to speak; especially given that intimate encounters are much better - and get better - with the same individual over a period of time, as both get to know the other, in terms of what turns them on, how their body reacts to stimuli, whether she'll freak out if I 'accidentally' refer to her by her sister's name, etc.

The perfect embodiment of my feelings on the subject - as well as my alienation from 'popular' opinion - is an episode of 'Friends' that I once watched (for my sins), where Chandler entered the apartment just as Joey picked up phone to hand it to Chandler. He immediately put the receiver down without speaking a word, to Joey's dumbfounded amazement, casually mentioning, "I need never answer the phone again. I've just had sex".

What struck me in the scene - and the canned laughter and ovation of the audience - was the black and white simple equation that sex equals good; no sex equals bad. There was no attempt to qualify the fulfilment of the intimate encounter, whether the sex was good, bad or indifferent - because in this world-view, the only 'bad sex' was not getting laid.

Cheers!
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