| | Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?Page 13 of 18 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18) | | Sheez I'd luv to be Married..N call some one my wife..commitment is easy..when in love...and when things are finacially sound...it's just those dang wedding cost so dang much..the ring ,cake,rehearsal dinner..seen alot of newlyweds do bankruptcy after thier wedding..notta good start to a marrige..could always do the Vegas or justice of peace marriage..but gosh..that seems so tacky..n people would talk the newlywed cheapskates... | |
|
halo70
| | Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 302 | |
| |
halo70
| | Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 303 | |
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/18/2012 2:39:59 PM | | Wow really? Is it all about a big wedding that's holding you back or something else? Sorry, this is just lame! If you're truly concerned about what people may think about YOUR wedding it's no wonder you're single! | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/18/2012 5:23:34 PM | | It is wrong for people to wave red flags before they know people. What about someone who has been married 4 times? Would that be a red flag too? I know a lady who was married 4 times and she is a wonderful person. She is my mom. She just had bad luck in choosing men. I also know another gentlemen that spent 20 years in the Armed Forces and never married or had kids during his service in the military. Today he has 5 loving grandchildren and is very happily married. So he did pretty well to make up for lost time. When we are judging everything, we are learning nothing. | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/18/2012 5:48:27 PM | | ur joking- feminists stufed up resl 40 yrs ago n were still trying to rtecover- its v norm these days not a red flag, ur living in v past, most people i know r single childless n ovr 40! including me. | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/18/2012 5:53:43 PM | Maybe in your circle, most ppl are single and childless over 40, but in mine they are mostly married with kids, or divorced with kids. Again let's place the blame squarely on the shoulders of the women.
I have noticed that most of the posts saying that it is not or should not be a red flag are from ppl who are single with no kids, guess what, you don't get to decide what is a red flag for me until you walk a mile in my shoes. | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/19/2012 5:16:29 PM | | It's all about choices. Unfortunelty, too many have this gumption regarding what is considered normal. Yet, being normal, often indicates less variety. Personally, I favour those who think outside of the box. It often lends to having less freinds and being considered odd. Nevertheless, I am what I am, take it or leave it. | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/20/2012 2:36:28 AM | i agree with msg 300. i met a guy long time ago who was young always spending money and partying but couldnt see his daughter. how sad was that yet tells me how he doesnt want anything to do with mothers and wanted someone who had no kids. he claim he couldnt see his daughter because his ex wouldnt let him and was not paying child support claiming hes so broke to go to court! i told him u must not be that broke if ur always spending money partying all the time how is that broke?
he said ohhh ur sounding like those dumb ****es blah blah blah yet told me i have problems lmao like msg 300 said laughable! i told him me with probs? im not the one who claims im too broke to see my own daughter! today, he would fit steve wilkos' show lol. his own friends encouraged him not to see his daughter because his ex is a stupid slut **** who shouldn't have screwed him over blah blah i said wow what a lovely son ur mom raised ohhh he went irate after i said that! lmao
also someone who has been married more than 3 times is a red flag for me but if u told me i kept choosing the wrong man/woman, who's fault is that? i read a psychology book on that and the psychologist kinda made that hint that u kept picking the same type of man/woman instead of looking at the complete opposite.
my biggest red flag is someone who has children off limits for me as i have no interest in small children i dont spend time with small kids and dont plan too either. | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:07:32 AM | | Jerseygirl2008, I can relate to you , Anger and alcohol issues, that is not the heart of the matter for me. I have been been a Mom for 27 years and taken it very seriously putting my kids before work etc, I like to date men with the same values as me. It changes you when you have children. Not for the better or worse just different, a red flag goes up for me with men who are not fathers in some regard, unless you have done it you can't say you ave experienced that level of sacrifice. | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/14/2012 10:44:17 PM | I totally agree with you. I just ended a 3 year relationship with someone who didnt like commitment because it required things of him. We are both 54, and we dated in high school. He has had long term relationships, but even he admits they were not "meaningful" because if they got serious then they expected him to meet their needs and if he didnt they would get "mad" at him, and he "doesnt need that", so happy hour, movies, going to dinner, hanging out, for 1, 3,5,10 years, as long as the woman doesnt need or want more, he'll stick around!
Regardless of the reasons, fears etc, it still boils down to being self centered and selfish, like you said, never emotionally developed out of the "me" stage! | |
|
| |
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/14/2012 11:38:13 PM | Never married and no kids. Thats not a red flag thats smart. Good job man, you suceeded where everyone else has failed especially at your age.
Dont get married or have kids. Its a trap | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/14/2012 11:55:10 PM |
Never married and no kids. Thats not a red flag thats smart. Good job man, you suceeded where everyone else has failed especially at your age.
i agree. of course, children should be wanted not used as a way to trap someone or needing a doll like most women seem to believe that's what a baby is for. anyone who is childless i'd tell them this continue with your career (if your not laid off) and enjoying life! | |
|
| |
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:32:40 AM |
Never married and no kids. Thats not a red flag thats smart. Good job man, you suceeded where everyone else has failed especially at your age.
Dont get married or have kids. Its a trap
Lol, I read a post from another poster and he wrote " A wise man learns from his mistakes, A wiser man learns from "others" mistakes". I was like yep, after growing up with people who had kids they didn't want or people with 3 and 4 failed "unions", I was like I'm not going down that road. It' pays to be "observant". | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/15/2012 6:34:38 AM | I suppose it depends on the person viewing it sees it as a red flag or not. Not sure that's something anyone can control. I'm not sure not having "something" is a red flag. I'm pretty sure though looking a prospective mate and judging them for what would be considered a non toxic type behavior would be a red flag to me though ( i.e. I can see if someone was concerned about drinking or poor finances or desire to have children, I can't see just not being married and just not having children alone as these huge problems)
In the end, my personal viewpoint, is no matter what I do or say, most women will never be satisfied with something or other. Hell, if I had two divorces and 15 kids in tow, like that wouldn't be a red flag to the same women where no kids and no marriage were a red flag?
The age 40 is probably a much bigger issue than to why a man has never had kids or been married before. Once a man crosses 40, statistically speaking, he is less likely to ever be married, dramatically so, and less likely to ever have kids, dramatically so. Well it's a bigger issue if a woman wants to have children and be married to that man. | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/15/2012 6:40:20 AM |
Regardless of the reasons, fears etc, it still boils down to being self centered and selfish, like you said, never emotionally developed out of the "me" stage!
Let me get this straight. The one who is demanding that the other change his life and expects him to meet her needs is not the selfish one? Um, hello, McFly! The person with all the needs is the one being selfish. | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:00:45 AM | | Sure, as long as the red flag says, "Smart enough not to make really bad, life altering mistakes and able to think through gut emotion, and the observational ability to learn from others' dumb mistakes." | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:40:46 AM | I find that those who raise the red flag might due it wishing they were in your shoes perhaps.
Thinking perhaps they might have gotten married to the wrong person & not wishing to deal
with the responsobilities of raising their kids.
All I can say is just do you @ don't stress yourself about. In due time anything can happen. | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:44:07 AM | | Im sure its a red flag tomost. Myself Id prefer the man not have kids but divorced is fine or if hes never married fine too but at 40? id question it. I know Im single because Im too picky and wont get strapped down to a man I have no attraction to whatsoever just so I can fit the norm/ | |
|
| |
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:56:59 AM |
I know Im single because Im too picky and wont get strapped down to a man I have no attraction to whatsoever just so I can fit the norm/
Forty may seem a long way off right now, but it'll be on you before you know it.
If someone doesn't want to date someone just because they haven't been married or had children, fine. I don't have an issue with that. But the insulting pop psychology diagnoses and insulting stereotypes are out of line. Suffice it to say the two people are not compatible and move on. No need to bash. | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:03:39 AM |
Let me get this straight. The one who is demanding that the other change his life and expects him to meet her needs is not the selfish one? Um, hello, McFly! The person with all the needs is the one being selfish.
Lollll!!!! I have to give you a high five for the "Biff" line. | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:45:42 AM | So what's the bigger red flag,someone like me, never married/no kids...or someone who's been married say 5 times with 6 kids by 3 different husbands?
It goes both ways IMO,and if you dig deep enough,there's probably at least one little red flag in all of us,maybe more than one thinks!
Dealbreakers,red flags etc. are just the internet easy way out of saying I'll pass ,to a lot of people,kind of judgmental isn't it? | |
|
| Never been married, no kids. Is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:47:25 AM | | Because people assume that in the last 30 yrs you would have found someone you liked enough to marry or someone would have wanted to marry you. They assume that if things didnt work out by now it wont work with them. I met many men in my 20s who were really interested in having kids. Many men are if you have not had kids and are 45 it shows you probably dont like them and are not familar with raising them. Many divorced woman like myself want a man with kids so they can combine families and that the man can step in with good farthering skills. Personally I know many woman who wouldnt go near a guy never married they are usually players. Not saying you are. I wouldnt date a guy without kids. I have found from experience that men without them hate kids. | |
|
Home
login 
