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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?      Home login  
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 zstyx12
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 51
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Because (and this is a stereotype - so it doesn't apply to everyone) most men are raised to be self-sufficient and independent and, as a result, don't have the desire to be "attached". In other words, men like their FREEDOM where as most women have the desire to be needed or wanted or attached.
Add to that the fact that women are attractive, and a guy having a f buddy is much more desirable than his palm...
 High_Contrast
Joined: 6/1/2009
Msg: 52
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/11/2010 10:42:51 AM
upstate-gal wrote:
women stopped 'putting' out in the situation where it is only f**kbuddy...then... men would have to re-think. Women need to stop being a prostitute without the pay!

Men need to either... go pay for what you want (it's the same anyway..they are just not paying for it)
or,
Realize that approaching a respectable woman will REQUIRE a respectable approach.



Wow okay.....so basically you're typing like EVERY woman out there wants a relationship. There are woman who are just as inclined to wanting/enjoying a fwb or fb relationship as men are. So women who want these things are just dirty wh0res then? Or consenting adults? Aloo touched on this already.

Both men and woman want and like sex.
There is a double standard in society (One that you have blatantly displayed with your post) that says men can have sex with no strings attach but woman can't or shouldn't. I strongly disagree with this. When both parties "Agree" on the ground rules so to speak, and no dishonesty is present, these situations can present much less stress than any relationship. This is why some men AND woman are all for sex buddies.
 nigelwright
Joined: 3/24/2007
Msg: 53
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/11/2010 10:44:11 AM
If you think that most men come from a bad relationship and a very expensive divorce then you will understand why they no longer want to commit.

I am now sorted for life with my own house, car and plenty fo money.
Why would I give half to someone who had never earned it ?
 lilbeeswax
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 54
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/11/2010 11:13:50 AM
Do you really have to ask, lol.
 georgie34
Joined: 6/1/2009
Msg: 55
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/11/2010 11:40:07 AM
I just think that if you are going to be having no strings attatched sex, FWBs-or whatever, it has to be something you both agree to.I don't mean consenting to sex what i mean is i know of situations that people get into where 1 person will want more than the other.And how mortifying is it to be in a FWB relationship and 1 person has real feelings for the other and that "other" meets someone else....Yes sex is liked and enjoyed by both men and women but feelings can change and people can also go along with and agree to a FWB because they really want the other person and its being close to them still isnt it....
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 56
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/11/2010 1:06:37 PM
omg....
i apologize to the un named woman whose post here offended me.
i had misinterpreted it.

so...if you know who you are...please accept my apology and if you read what you wrote i hope that you can see how i took the timing of it wrong.
sorry

K
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 57
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/11/2010 1:11:10 PM

i know of situations that people get into where 1 person will want more than the other.

Which is why it's the obligation of the person who might want more (usually the woman) to clarify the parameters of the relationship.
 High_Contrast
Joined: 6/1/2009
Msg: 58
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/11/2010 1:24:33 PM

Which is why it's the obligation of the person who might want more (usually the woman) to clarify the parameters of the relationship


^^^ Yep.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 59
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/11/2010 1:27:35 PM
Same question on the other foot. Why are so many women just wanting a F&R these days?!?!?!?!?
 pickerty witch
Joined: 2/28/2010
Msg: 60
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/11/2010 2:33:10 PM
i have just come out a 3 yr relationship where i have found out he had slept with 4 other woman at the same time as me and lived with another woman in a different town with their 3 yr old son every weekend. he told me he was working away. how devastating do you think i melt when i found out my fiance of 2 and a half yrs was only in this relationship for sex? i made this man my world, he was my life and when i found out i wentto the house and sat outside for 4 hours till i knew he had seen me . he sent me a txt message saying if i see you snooping up here again then you and me are thro i have too much to loose up here! he actually thought i would be prepared to share him with this other woman. now he wants me to go out and sleep with as many men as i want to and report back to him as to what we did and how good he was. i told him to go boil his head. he said it turned him on thinking of me with another man. this man has hurt me so much i dont think i will ever get over it.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 61
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/11/2010 3:22:27 PM
^^^^^ and your point is what????
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 62
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/11/2010 5:40:46 PM
Not true, they want a girlfriend, they just don't want YOU, but in order not to lose the benefits that you could possibly offer, they claim they don't want a gf or wife or ltr at all. Make no mistake, every guy does want the perfect one, and if he thinks he found her, his tune will change. Even men who really think otherwise, when he gets his socks knocked off, or when his inner child is sure he found his real Mami, or when he finds the perfect trophy wife, or just the wife who is good for his ambition, THEN he parades her publicly. A sex buddy is a secret out of shame, embarrassment, or to keep available for others.
 longhairbadass
Joined: 11/30/2009
Msg: 63
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/11/2010 6:22:14 PM
What's sex? Is this a new fangled younger generation term like "LOL"? Ha ha ha! I got no idea how to answer this. Heck, I can't find anyone to talk to me, much less have sex with. I'm a plenty of fish virgin. Ha ha ha!!! Yeah, its hard to treat anyone nicely with respect and cordial kindness when noone will even talk to you. Ha ha ha! Plague anyone? Ha ha ha!
 guyinacorner
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 64
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/13/2010 9:54:14 AM
sex buddy gets you laid. girlfriend gets you burned
 Steve-131313
Joined: 8/21/2009
Msg: 65
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/13/2010 11:40:35 AM
You certainly see how jaded some people are. We carry a lifetime of scars some of which some never seem to heal. We place all these expectations and importance on a physical act ignoring the reality that a real connection can be had without sex and most sex happens without a real connection.

We can't escape the nature of the human animal we all are, we all have these primal urges and seek to satisfy them. I suggest that everyone should stop setting the bar so high for our fellow human creatures. If you don't want to have sex until you have established a real connection then take ownership of the moment and refuse it. Or surrender to the moment and appreciate it for what it is, there is nothing wrong with enjoying physical intimacy between consenting adults.

I think most of us whether we say it or not are genuinely searching for our soul mate but we are not going to forego momentary passion as we search to find them. Let's also be real about something here while we are on the subject, women do this almost as much as men do! Stop separating us as though we are two different species... Yes there is an unfair and undeserved amount of social stigma that prevent most women from being open about having friendships of this type. But they exist and I would never tell anyone that it is wrong to make the most of any given moment. So if my soul mate has a few friends to fill the void until she finds me, so be it, at least she isn't settling for less than she deserves.

Life is short and I would much rather regret the mistakes I have made than knowing I never gave myself the opportunity to make them.
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 66
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/13/2010 12:39:50 PM
You see, you rarely get something for nothing, or without a down side!

Just reading some of the input.

Yes, women have made progress into equality and fairness. Many men (and a few women) might argue, it's gone too far (especially in the courts).

So, now, some women have to pay for that, in the reluctance, unwillingness and protective measures (some) men have and are putting into place!

My Father got blindsided in a Divorce, and has had numerous girlfriends (since), but vowed, NEVER to get married again, much to the dissatisfaction of some of his longer term girlfriends!

How can a reasonably intelligent man, believe that LOVE and relationships are all about feelings, respect and that sort of thing, when society has CLEARLY made them all about the LAW (MONEY) and COURT!
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 67
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/13/2010 12:41:05 PM
Because at 21, they do not want kids, mariage or anything other than fun. Be patient they will jump on the maturity train eventually.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 68
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/13/2010 12:58:04 PM

Men do not want to send time, money and energy for sex.


I guess it's a shame the men in my life had to waste so much time, eh?: Lets hear it for the women who makes men wait.
 TeresaP1020
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 69
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/13/2010 6:44:57 PM
Typically after having a bad relationship, men are more cautious about getting in another serious relationship because they have trust issues. They allow fear of getting hurt again to control their choices and create "roadblocks," either preconceived or imagined, for why they don't want to get " involved. It also happens to women, but women still tend to want that emotional connection.

There is nothing wrong with a FWB situation as long as BOTH parties are upfront and honest about what they are looking for. However, it IS wrong for one person (man or woman) to lead another to believe they are or may be interested in more when they are not at a point where they are ready for more or have no intention of following through.

Going on a date does not signify a commitment. It is a way of getting to know someone better. There is nothing wrong with discussing your viewpoints on sex on a date. It gives the other person insight as to what they may be looking for. Talking about sex does not mean you're committed to having it.

People have sex all the time. It's only making love when you have a mental, emotional and physical connection. It all depends on what a person is looking for and whether they are willing to settle for less than they want. It's about personal choice.
 maximusminimus
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 70
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/13/2010 6:55:52 PM
If you raised men and women separately on different islands then introduced them to one another, neither would make sense of what the other wanted. The man wants to have sex and get along. The woman, well, she wants to get diamonds and have babies and hopes the man will be at work most of the time.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 71
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/13/2010 7:31:27 PM

But my question is why are some men all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?

Well, a big part of it is that there are so many women who are willing to be 'fcuk buddies' because they think it's what they should do...

Once a woman has been some guy's 'fcuk buddy' then why should some other guy bother making a commitment to her. She's been giving out sex without commitment before... why should any guy bother with being stuck in a commitment afterwards... Seems to me he'd be getting the short end of it...
I can see it now....
"Hey, gee, Fred, I hear you're doing "?????" and you're in a long term relationship with her too.... Wow.... Why? I was doing her for a few months and I didn't have to do all that relationship stuff. All I had to do was fcuk her. But hey, whatever floats your boat... "
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 72
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/13/2010 8:04:45 PM

Once a woman has been some guy's 'fcuk buddy' then why should some other guy bother making a commitment to her. She's been giving out sex without commitment before.

Any guy I'd consider a relationship with would realize he's getting the better deal than the FB did.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 73
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/13/2010 8:55:11 PM

So, yeah, I'm only into finding someone who's cool with being "friends with benefits" & understands that we'll probably see each other only once in a while.

Huh? Then why do you have that you’re looking for “Dating” on your profile? Only being interested in FWB and only seeing each other once in a while is NOT dating.


Maybe I'm different due to my preference of communicating all of this up front instead of appearing to want something more, but on the other hand, the ladies aren't exactly beating down my door, either.

How are you different? You admit that you’re only into finding someone who’s cool with being “FWB” and will understand that you’ll only see each other once in a while, yet you falsely advertise that you’re looking for “Dating”. IMO, you’re EXACTLY the type of person the OP was grousing about. You lie about your TRUE intentions in order to lure in a woman.
 BentonHarbor
Joined: 3/2/2010
Msg: 74
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/14/2010 5:49:41 AM

Any guy I'd consider a relationship with would realize he's getting the better deal than the FB did.


And what new, great and irresistible advantages would this entail exactly? Give us or me details please-----let's compare bit for bit please??
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 75
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 3/14/2010 8:27:56 AM
I think a really big problem with women and one which men that have FWB can avoid, is that women are always trying to change things, never happy!

If you see her two nights a week, that's o.k. for a brief while, but then it's not good enough. Or, suddenly, you don't talk enough! What do you women do? Just think of things to be dissatisfied about? Your table manners suddenly arn't acceptable (anymore) or your sports memorabilia simply has got to go (somewhere else)!

I think the man that draws a line in the sand early on, is a wise man indeed because once you make concessions (especially to some women) there is simply no end to it!
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