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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?      Home login  
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 JayShank
Joined: 1/8/2010
Msg: 150
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?Page 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Also, there are plenty of men in relationships. Ones, who unlike you, prioritize not dying alone over the spectre of losing some disposable cash in the future.

I'm sure there are, and the prospect of dying alone is one which everyone might have to deal with, for example, what if you were married for 20 years and your husband died 10 years before you, he didn't die alone, but you would have. On the same theme, someone who stayed single all their life but died with family and friends around them? Was that person better off because he was not alone when he died, than than the married woman who died 'alone' becase her husband died 10 years before her??

I'm sure plenty of people would rather keep the money they worked hard to earn rather than fret over "O wait I need to have a wife/husband otherwise i'll die alone".

That is why, as I said earlier in the thread, that, the FWB route is very appealing, and if maintained you would not 'die alone' (if you value that so highly) and be happy until the day you die.

Also, as I also said I'd, and I'm sure plenty of Men would be happy and want to be in a relationship if the laws were not biased but equal, at the moment they are a deterant than anything else to being in a relationship. I believe that a happy LTR, commitment is fundemental and a stablement of a good healthy society, especially if you want to have children, but due to family courts and laws it has become something to avoid. Which in turn, yes, breeds the FWB relationships which this thread is about.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 151
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 4/24/2010 7:56:29 AM

But my question is why are some men all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?


I don't agree with this statement at all, just because a man starts talking about sex on the first date or second doe not mean he only wants sex. In an adult relationship you have sex and you have to be compatible in that area and if you aren't the relationship is dead.

So talking about sex early on even on the first or second date should not be a deal breaker.
 animalcrackers28
Joined: 7/25/2009
Msg: 152
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 4/26/2010 6:56:45 AM
apollodorus i agree with you there my ex talked about sex on our second date but i made him wait 2 months until i slept with him and he still hung around so i know thats not all he wanted. This ex has actually got in contact with me on this site and ive had to send him an email to say that i will email him now and then but thats all he has been sending me mixed signels talking about when we were together. I was stupid i asked him if he wanted to meet up for a coffee and he said yes but i cant meet him as i still love him so i said that its best i find the right guy yes it does hurt but i had to do what i had to do if anybody else has been in this situation they will know how i feel.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 153
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 4/26/2010 8:42:12 AM

Women are just as likely to be 'raped' by the courts. Which is a DRAMATIZATION... use appropriate language please.

Are you suggest all women everywhere who are married have no assets and marry men who have all the wealth/jobs in the relationship? If so, it was men's fault for marrying a woman with zero assets.

If you actually bothered to do some research you'd find out that men actually come out of a divorce more financially sound down the road than a woman does. Usually because she takes care of the kids and child support agreements generally don't even scratch the surface of actual child care costs, esp. not college for the kids.

Also, there are plenty of men in relationships. Ones, who unlike you, prioritize not dying alone over the spectre of losing some disposable cash in the future.


Really lets see you said to check the stats lets do that.


According to a study published in the American Law and Economics Review, women currently file slightly more than two-thirds of divorce cases in the US.[5] There is some variation among states, and the numbers have also varied over time, with about 60% of filings by women in most of the 19th century, and over 70% by women in some states just after no-fault divorce was introduced, according to the paper.
[edit] Custody

In their study titled "Child Custody Policies and Divorce Rates in the US," Kuhn and Guidubaldi find it reasonable to conclude that women anticipate advantages to being single, rather than remaining married.[6]

When women anticipate a clear gender bias in the courts regarding custody, they expect to be the primary residential parent for the children and recipient of the resulting financial child support, maintaining the marital residence, receiving half of all marital property, and gaining total freedom to establish new social relationships. In their detailed analysis of divorce rates, Kuhn and Guidubaldi conclude that acceptance of joint physical custody may reduce divorce. States whose family law policies, statutes, or judicial practice encourage joint custody have shown a greater decline in their divorce rates than those that favor sole custody.


Hummmm did it say the women expect getting more I believe it did!!!
Also notice that where joint custody laws are in effect ie no child support and the parents share the cost of raising the children the divorce rates go DOWN!!! Also notice who files first by a huge margin!!!!!

This study show the opposite of your claim!!!!
 JayShank
Joined: 1/8/2010
Msg: 154
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 4/26/2010 12:22:54 PM
mjyawn, Thanks for providing the stats/information, the reason I didn't provide it ( it would have taken all of 30 seconds on google search) was that the above is common knowledge, so I thought she was joking or trying to be funny with that statement. But yeh, everyone in the western society knows that it is a lose-lose situation for men if they make or allow any sort of commitment in a relationship with women. I stated in different topic, but related to this, and what you mention above that:

The rise in 'No Fault' divorces because one partner was 'Not fulfilled' 'Not feeling the spark' 'Didn't get the right valentines present' 'Left the toilet seat up' 'Getting bored' 'Wanted a change' 'Corrupted by Oprah or/and Jerry Springer' 'Read too many celeb magazines' 'Felt scared because the other partner raised their voice in an argument' 'Wasn't treated to a night/meal out in ONE month'....the list is endless.

So yes, joint custody will counteract the above excuses for divorce because no one will greatly benefit from the divorce apart from being legally detached from the other partner in question.

No/Little monetary benefits after Divorce = Couples treating marriage more seriously and trying to make it work like the vows say....."through sickness and in health etc etc etc..."

BUT....and I say but, this would not happen if only the laws can be changed so that it is fair and equal when a man and woman go through family/divorce court.

Not just divorce, but in all current unfair rulings such as Domestic Violence, Rape accusations, Abbortions/Child Support, Child Custody, Jail Sentences for same crimes, Sitting next to children on certain planes...etc, the list can go on and on.

It is not neccasirily the women/girls to blame for this way of life, it that in the western world the laws, social stigma, society, feminism, misandry and court rulings allow some women to behave in an irresponsible, goldigging, blaze way. The social- juridical system we have in the west breeds a behaviour in some women which they can abuse and work to their advantage.

Remember it is not the women to blame, but the system put in place which allows them to treat men as Despensable, Sperm Donors, Walking ATM's, Slaves or worse.
 Samantha44
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 155
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 4/26/2010 1:41:54 PM
Yes there are men that want a casual sexual relationship with no comitment and effort. What bugs the hell out me are the woman that allow the bad behavior relent to have these casually based FWB then cry when it doesn't turn into something more. Men can't have these relationship if woman don't allow them....woman need to start having more self respect and not allowing bad behavior right out of the gate and maybe men might get the picture that they need to man up and be good guys. As long as men can get free and easy **** this is what they will go for.....

I had a guy I really liked and felt a strong chemistry with and he with me....he wanted the FWB and I told him NO!!!! that I liked him too much to enter into something like that and too much self respect for myself. What I later found out from a distance is that he is emotionally unavailable and has serial relationships. They all start as FWB because he does not like the expectations of being is a fully honest compassionate relationship nor does he wanted to be expected to work at them. He good in the beginning once in the honeymoon stage but as soon as the woman wants more he always BAILS!!!!!

Woman have to understand they are not going to be the one that changes him he is who is is because thats who he wants to be !!!!! He likes his life for many of the already said statements in this thread he can do what he wants on his terms and if a woman wants to be in a relationship with him guaranteed it will be on HIS TERMS!!!!

Serial daters for lengths of time are notorious for this behavior....Woman!!! ask the right question and enter at your own risk!

So to answer the Op question....its because woman allow it!
 Buckets_of_Sky
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 156
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 7/19/2010 3:18:09 PM
Some men break your hear in two...

Some men carry you to bed with your boots on.
Some men say your name like a verbal tic.
Some men slap on an emotional surcharge for every erotic encounter.
Some men are slightly mentally ill, and thinking of joining a gym.
Some men have moved on and can’t be seduced, even in the dream bars you meet them in.
Some men who were younger are now the age you were then.
Some men aren’t content with mere breakage, they’ve got to burn you to the ground.
Some men you’ve reduced to ashes are finally dusting themselves off.
Some men are made of fiberglass.
Some men have deep holes drilled in by a war, you can’t fill them.
Some men are delicate and torn.
Some men will steal your bracelet if you let them spend the night.
Some men will want to **** your poems, and instead they will find you.
Some men will say, “I’d like to see how you look when you come,” and then hail a cab.
Some men are a list of ingredients with no recipe.
Some men never see you.
Some men will blindfold you during sex, then secretly put on high heels.
Some men will try on your black fishnet stockings in a hotel in Rome, or Saran Wrap you to a bedpost in New Orleans.
Some of these men will be worth trying to keep.
Some men will write smugly condescending reviews of your work, making you remember these lines by Frank O’Hara:
I cannot possibly think of you other than you are: the assassin of my orchards.
Some men, let’s face it, really are too small.
Some men are too large, but it’s not usually a deal breaker.
Some men don’t have one at all.
Some men will slap you in a way you’ll like.
Some men will want to crawl inside you to die.
Some men never clean up the matter.
Some men hand you their hearts like leaflets,
and some men’s hearts seem to circle forever: you catch sight of them on clear nights, bright dots among the stars, and wait for their orbits to decay, for them to fall to earth.
 sweetness-one
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 157
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 7/19/2010 3:44:19 PM

Some men break your hear in two...

Some men carry you to bed with your boots on.
Some men say your name like a verbal tic.
Some men slap on an emotional surcharge for every erotic encounter.
Some men are slightly mentally ill, and thinking of joining a gym.
Some men have moved on and can’t be seduced, even in the dream bars you meet them in.
Some men who were younger are now the age you were then.
Some men aren’t content with mere breakage, they’ve got to burn you to the ground.
Some men you’ve reduced to ashes are finally dusting themselves off.
Some men are made of fiberglass.
Some men have deep holes drilled in by a war, you can’t fill them.
Some men are delicate and torn.
Some men will steal your bracelet if you let them spend the night.
Some men will want to **** your poems, and instead they will find you.
Some men will say, “I’d like to see how you look when you come,” and then hail a cab.
Some men are a list of ingredients with no recipe.
Some men never see you.
Some men will blindfold you during sex, then secretly put on high heels.
Some men will try on your black fishnet stockings in a hotel in Rome, or Saran Wrap you to a bedpost in New Orleans.
Some of these men will be worth trying to keep.
Some men will write smugly condescending reviews of your work, making you remember these lines by Frank O’Hara:
I cannot possibly think of you other than you are: the assassin of my orchards.
Some men, let’s face it, really are too small.
Some men are too large, but it’s not usually a deal breaker.
Some men don’t have one at all.
Some men will slap you in a way you’ll like.
Some men will want to crawl inside you to die.
Some men never clean up the matter.
Some men hand you their hearts like leaflets,
and some men’s hearts seem to circle forever: you catch sight of them on clear nights, bright dots among the stars, and wait for their orbits to decay, for them to fall to earth.


Most men, though, are pretty straight-forward, say what they mean, and mean what they say.

It's up to each woman whether she wants to listen, or not, IMO.
 navycanuck
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 158
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 7/19/2010 3:45:15 PM
That is an easy question; you don't have to treat a sex buddy well. Have your sex and toss her out. You actually have to treat a girlfriend like a human being.
 Whole 9 Yards
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 159
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 7/19/2010 4:09:36 PM
Usually it means you are good enough to screw but not be seen around town with because you may be standing in the way of the BBD.


Anymore questions?
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 160
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 7/19/2010 4:16:33 PM
To message 111 superhotmama, WELL ALRIGHT THEN, I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND FROM NOW ON EVERYTIME MY SICK MIND GETS TWISTED.
 MisterDynomite
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 161
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Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 7/19/2010 4:40:47 PM

And what ever happened to respecting a woman? I guess that went out the door with chivalry.


If thats what you totally believe then i can see why you are attracting the type of men that don't respect you.

negative attracts negative.


But my question is why are some men all for sex buddies but not girlfriends? Peace........


Probably for the same reason that there are women who want just sex and happen to find guys who want a full relationship and are denied it.

Be more picky and less jaded.. the world isn't all roses and sunshine... but it also isn't all rainy days and mud puddles.




 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 162
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 7/19/2010 4:44:48 PM

On the dating scene, I have come across a few guys that just wanted a sex buddy. That is not in my interest. Right off the back, if a guy refers to sex on the first date or even the second one, that's a major turn off for me. I have blown off quite a few guys for that reason. They just think of women as being disposable. And what ever happened to respecting a woman? I guess that went out the door with chivalry.
But my question is why are some men all for sex buddies but not girlfriends? Peace......


probably means he thinks it's OK to have sex with you (in private) but thinks you are not attractive enough for him to want his friends to see him with you.. or other (hotter) girls to see him with you, then they will think they are above his league if they see him with a plainer girl

Next Question?
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 163
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 7/19/2010 4:52:35 PM

Most men, though, are pretty straight-forward, say what they mean, and mean what they say.

It's up to each woman whether she wants to listen, or not, IMO.


Yep, on both counts.

People want what they want for whatever their reasons might be.

My advice to the OP is to concern herself with what she wants, and
1) take these men she's encountering at their word, shrug it off as "not a match,", and move on
2) stop pointlessly speculating about "what men want"
 navycanuck
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 164
Why are some men are all for sex buddies but not girlfriends?
Posted: 7/21/2010 9:08:39 PM
"I read every post and only 1 guy really hit it on the head, guys don't want relationships because most women eventually suck the life out of you. I don't mean just because of the relationship but they usually want to move in and start controlling you and if you get married you're really screwed, during the marriage and when they divorce you and rape you in court. It really makes no sense for guys to get trapped like that anymore, we can just buy our own house, do what we want when we want, not get nagged about anything, etc. It's really not rocket science and I don't mean to sound negative towards women but there are a lot out there who mean well but end up trying to control every aspect of your life and then there are the ones just looking for someone to take care of them, either way men are much better off financially and emotionally just to live alone."

I want to disagree with this comment but I can't. Bad experiences can certainly change a man't perspective towards woman; especially after a bad marriage. Not saying its right but it is a fact.
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