| For money or love???
Posted: 7/16/2005 4:35:07 AM | | I wouldn't decide between the two. It isn't that difficult to get both. | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 7/16/2005 5:19:08 AM | Neither. I would marry for compatibility, friendship, attraction, similar values, a mutual respect, similar goals (it's not going to work if the one person wants to spend the next twenty years traveling in a motor home and the other person wants to grow a garden in a small village).
I think love is something that grows over a long period of time and that one can choose to love anybody. (Love and chemistry aren't the same thing.) | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 7/17/2005 5:30:20 AM | Yes, I agree fud25. It angers me  to see how materialistic and self-centered we are as a society. We live in a world with poverty, homelessness, and hunger, all of which are based on one's wealth, or lack thereof. Rather than focusing on money and power, we as a society need to solve these ills of society, which we could begin to alleviate by "sharing the wealth" so to speak.
Sounds simple enough in theory, but putting it into practice.....thats a whole other ball game.  | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 7/17/2005 5:58:12 AM | Money tends to equal power, and power is attractive. So, it is not necessarily that these women are choosing men they are not attracted to - rather that there attraction is based on excitement rather than romance.
One thing money does is give choices - you aren't held back from doing things by having no cash. Sure, it sounds romantic to say "well, as least we have our love for each other", but a woman friend once told me it is a real dampener to hear her boyfriend say "can you help pay to get my car back on the road".
So, women how are interested in guys with money, are maybe just making sure they don't have a hanger-on who they have to keep bailing out.
Having said that, there certainly are gold diggers: I had a girlfriend a while back who said that if I loved her I would buy her an Aston Martin. I did not buy it, and she broke up with me because (in her mind) I clearly didn't love her.
Remember though, that love and money are both fragile - they are lost very easily. So, enjoy them while you have them. | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 7/17/2005 6:25:45 AM | | Not all women find power attractive. And attraction isn't what we are discussing here.....it is whether or not you would marry for love or money. Although some women might initially be attracted to men with money, if that is all that there is between the couple, then it is unlikely the relationship will last, or the couple will be miserable if it does. A relationship without love is not satifying to either partner. The whole reason we as human beings search for someone to spend our lives with is for companionship and to be able to share our hopes and dreams with that person, and hopefully fulfill them. If there are no common interests, goals, or dreams in that partnership, then what's the point?!? | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 7/17/2005 7:45:59 AM | And there are days I question why I am single???? NOT!!! As some have said here, money is nice, but it can go as fast as you get it. As I worked my way up the ladder at work, the money also improved.Have you ever noticed that the more money you make, the more you spend???? I did, so I have eased up on the spending on all the new and improved "must have" objects out there. No matter how much "stuff" I have right now,,,,I'm not taking any of it to my grave.
Now if those girls had said something along the lines," I would like someone with a stable job,and a man that is'nt afraid to work for things" I would feel a lot better about them.  | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/1/2007 5:48:00 PM | | Love definately...he may have money but he could be a total jerk . Why would anyone choose money? Yeah sure you would have everything you desired or would you? Yep something would be missing and you can't buy that.....LOVE! | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/2/2007 12:55:48 AM | | Is love taxable? I dunno....I would rather have true love. I want that because if he had a lot of money I would just spend it. Big deal, spending money is nothing new to me. Love, REAL love...that would be something new and exciting. Hopefully it would last a lot longer than money, too. | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/2/2007 3:33:14 AM | | Has definately got to be love. Money doesn't make you happy, well not for long anyway! | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:29:16 AM | The people who are questioning why you can't just have both are still sending the message that money is important. If they're looking for both, by necessity, you must eliminate the people without money and only try to "fall in love" with those who have it.
I've been personally shocked myself by how many of my girlfriends definitely take money into consideration. Many will only go out with men of a certain level, be it financially, careerwise, or whatever. I think that's very sad. But what is sadder is that they can do it because it seems men are very poor judges of people in general and no matter how good they think they are at spotting a gold digger, I don't believe many are good at it at all. As long as these high maintainence women find it easier to have a man support them than to make the money themselves, and as long as men's egos are so easy to fluff up, I think we will contine to have this dilemma.
Personally for me, I will always choose love. I have never been concerned about what a man drives, or where he lives, or where he shops as long as he is responsible and stable. Before this year, I don't know if I could have said this with so much confidence but I've recently been seeing two very wealthy men. I admit that I tried to find some deeper attraction because it is sort of exciting imagining the life they could give you. But no one can convince me now that you can "find the love later". I'd rather be happy in a little house in an average neighborhood than be miserable in a mansion on the lake! | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/2/2007 7:12:50 AM | | How about both?If Im going to be in a relationship, Id rather it be with someone who has a decent job ....rather women like to admit it or not they do look for security in a man,and that includes a somewhat decent/comfortable life style...... which doesn't mean she's a gold digger nor does it mean he has to make millions. | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/2/2007 7:25:52 AM | Money comes and goes, it isn't all that important in the grand scheme of things...yes, we do need some money to live in this world, just the reality of our society, but once you've got the basics covered, it doesn't have that much worth.
A man who can love passionately--and that means love others, love life, love himself--is far richer than any millionaire. | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/2/2007 10:09:17 AM | For me personally it has got to be love   .
A couple decades ago I dated a nice man who was older than me . At that time in my life I was a young single mother living at poverty level . He was divorced , and had weekend visitation with his children . We got to a level in the relationship where he had introduced me to his kids and even his parents . He would buy me gifts , as well as buying gifts for my baby . He paid for every date / event we went on . I felt that we were not sexually compatible , but continued the relationship thinking it would get better . He got to a point where he started to talk to me about wanting to move in together . He wanted to buy a house for us to live in , wanted to take care of me , and give a better life for me and my baby (his words) . I was hesitant and unsure , not wanting to commit myself to a situation that serious when I was still feeling the sexual incombatibility .
What ended this relationship was when he started telling me how he had talked to woman friends in his workplace , and he was starting to worry about how they perceived our relationship . These were women who had never met me . They thought / felt / and said that I was using him for his money . Obviously he had not gotten to know me well enough to disuade these fears they had put into him . I ended up blowing up at him and letting him know the facts . I had never once asked him to buy me a gift . I had never once asked him to buy my child a gift . I was quite happy to spend evenings at my home or his versus going out and having him pay all the time . It hurt me that he was starting to believe and was worried that I was using him . I basically told him he need to go find a woman who had more money than I did so he wouldn't have to worry about such things .
I wonder what ever happened to him , and do hope he met some woman he could care for without having that worry . | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/2/2007 11:35:42 AM | I can speak from experience here!
I was in a marriage where my ex bought me everything I wanted, and I got to stay at home and not work... But what happened was I became his servant!! Not a wife!! He bought me, and owned me!! He controlled me in every form of the word! and I let him! too weak to get out right away...
The last thing he bought me was a Mustang 2006, back in Jan06.. I drove it a few times, excited over it of course.. but that sinking gut feeling returned to let me know once again just how wrong this was! That there was NO love that came with this car! That I'd been bought!! again!! So that's when I handed him the keys, and told him that I'd rather have a divorce!!
Now, money's really tight, and have to eat crackers for meals, and go a couple of months before I can afford to get my hair cut.. but it's sooooo worth it! I'm almost totally free! and I'm happier than I've ever been! | |
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| adding 1 point:
Posted: 5/2/2007 11:38:26 AM | not saying that ALL men are bad if they have money...
just saying what happened to me in my marriage... so now I'm going for true love and happiness!!
NOT money this time around! | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/2/2007 11:54:41 AM | | Holy crap you must have been talking to my ex wife lol? | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/2/2007 12:01:40 PM | love should conquer every thing, But it seems that it sometimes is never good enough for some people ,
Which is sad dont ya think,
people need to listen to nickleback | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/3/2007 9:13:41 PM | I guess its all open to interpertation . Did you know that if you have a few pennies on your dresser you are among the top 8% of the richest people in the world , and if you have 1000$ in the bank that puts you to the top 5% of the richest people . I consider myself wealthy , I have wonderful kids , they make me proud , I have a home that is paid for , sure its no mansion but its mine not the banks , I have a few friends that are true friends both trustworthy and loyal , I look at beautful nature every day , and a few bucks in my pocket should I see something I want to buy for a loved one .
Thats what I call wealthy
Peace | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/4/2007 1:59:42 PM | unfortunately we offer nothing but the appeal of money and things and "stuff" to our humans these days.. so it's not a surprise that we find gobs of women (and men) that worship the almighty dollar. Our physical is glorified over anything else. Take note that the question was posed in a gym. Unfortunately many many people aren't at that gym to find their inner being.. or even to simply get fit so they can be healthy (tho that does occur!) quite often they are there to improve their almighty looks. When you are in a place that is all about the outside, it's not a surprise that you would get responses that glorify the external as well.
Ask the same question of ten hikers. Or ten women at a spiritual gathering.. I'd bet that the ratio of response would be quite drastically different.
just a thought. | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/4/2007 3:02:26 PM | OP, what kind of shallow women do you meet and talk to? money has never been important to me.
sure, i may not want to 100% financially support a guy (just not rich enough to be a sugar momma), but i have absolutely no issue with someone who is scaping by paycheck to paycheck and doesn't have much money, property or things. if i wanted a man with deep pockets who could lavish expensive things on me, i have had the opportunity. it just doesn't interest me. i'd rather be with a man for how he treats me, than for what he can buy me. | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/12/2007 4:19:45 PM | | LOVE. TRUE LOVE BUYS NOTHING, BUT WITHOUT LOVE YOU DONT FEEL THE VOID BEING FILLED. YOU DONT HAVE THE HAPPINESS OF HAVING THE EMOTIONAL NEEDS MET AND YOU DONT HAVE THE RESPECT FOR YOURSELF AND THE OTHER PERSON IF THE MONEY IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN LOVE.. MONEY ONLY BUY'S MATERIALISTIC THINGS BUT NOT ALL OF US ARE INTO MATERIALISTIC THINGS. LOVE YOU CAN SHARE WITH WHOEVER BUT HOW MANY ARE GONNA SHARE OUR MONEY JUST TO SHARE IT? YOU CAN'T BUY LOVE BUT YOU CAN EARN IT BY BEING HONEST AND TRUSTWORTHY. | |
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| For money or love???
Posted: 5/13/2007 2:10:32 AM | | Well, I don't have a lot of money, so this isn't really an issue for me. On top of that, if I *did* have a lot of money, I wouldn't date someone who was wanting to date me simply because I had money. If I was a different person and actually *would* date someone who only wanted my money, I don't think I'd be able to respect them as a person, and would most likely view them as yet another piece of property. All in all I guess it's a good thing I don't have to worry about it. | |
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