| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 10/31/2004 7:39:32 PM | i'm sure where you live can impact biracial children but i didn't raise him in the south or even a biggoted area. it's very integrated in los angeles and i've always made an extra effort to get him into schools that were integrated, same with activities, etc. problem is... there are stupid people everywhere and you can't change the world's view on things like this so i started small and educated my son who in turn educated others as he found himself challenged.
you've been extremely lucky... i sure hope life continues on that path for you with respect to this issue. it's funny, now that my son is 6'5"... people don't challenge him or tease him the way they did when he was a little bitty guy. he's absolutely gorgeous and has a lot goin' for himself at his age. i got lucky with my son though... he's a good kid.
i think the worst incident that happened was when my son was in 6th grade... my son was sitting at the lunch bench waiting for his lunch to be served and this little white kid walked up to him and tried to bully him out of his seat. my son simply sat there and told the kid he could have the seat when he was done with it. when the boy spit in his face and called him a stupid "N" word, my son calmly wiped his face and stayed in the seat, ate his lunch and got up when he was done. because he didn't react the way the kid thought he would... the next day that kid apologized and tried to be my son's friend. because my son has been taught tolerance, he accepted the kid's apology and they went on as if nothing happened once they talked it out. had that been me... i would kicked that little kid's hiney... but times are different now and you have to instill tolerance or violence will rule a child's life early on. i'd like to see that little boy that spit in my son's face now. ;)
in any case... i think it depends more on how you raise your children, what you teach them and how you teach them to react when something like this happens. i just don't wish any of our bad experiences on anyone's child. it's a lot to deal with in life, especially because it begins the minute children begin socializing. i'm happy to hear there are others out there that haven't had the horrible experience with stupid people as my son and i have... maybe the world is changing. ;) | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 10/31/2004 7:46:14 PM | | just my two cents... your experience is a fine example of what happens to couples who date interacially for the long term. there are extreme cultural differences between the two of you and if you continue to date this gentleman... ask yourself... do you want to be his long term secret who is shunned from any family gatherings and all that goes with dating someone who is so culturally different? because believe me... those cultural differences can and will eventually cause a catastrophe for families like his and yours. or... you can look at it this way... can you convert to his religion or do you have to be born into it? and is this something you're even willing to do for the guy? would his family accept you then? probably not. it's a harsh truth but people with very strict religious beliefs will not bend and it's you that will pay the price for falling in love with a man you will never truly have. i wish you luck... just be careful not to get hurt. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 10/31/2004 8:42:29 PM | | Hey Phil34 get a life. Evolution not god made us who we are.I'm married to an East indian woman and Im white our baby is beautiful and the wife is just plain evil like all women. So,mixed relationships are just as nuts as non mixed relationships. Green,Blue,Red,,Yellow,Orange,Pink who cares as long as they can cook. | |
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Sundog
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Joined: 8/23/2004
Msg: 29 | |
| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/1/2004 10:16:48 AM | All women are Evil?
I think the only Evil is the Evil of Generalization. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/1/2004 11:11:56 AM | | in vihtor frankl's "man's search for meaning"...reading inspiration from a friend I met on here, he notes that there are 2 races of men in this world-decent, and indecent, no group of society consists of purely decent, or purely indecent. I want to agree with that, and add my own opinion that each of us would also be "bi-racial", meaning that we each foster a level of decency, as well as indecency. We make choices moment by moment-which sway in either direction. I believe that the "compassionate", possibly made so by upbringing, suffering, or an inborn personality, make more conscious effort to be decent -to others as well as themself. And possibly the "selfish", made so maybe by the upbringing,suffering, or inborn personality-react to life in a different way, more callous,cold, and at times indecent. The compassionate and the selfish would be a spectrum line, of which we all fall somewhere in between, and move a bit, from side to side. If everyone agreed with this philosophy, they might stop the incessant finger pointing and labeling that they do. Which really irritates me 2 no end. I'm posting this here, and to my friend, and in the inter-racial thread. I'd like some feedback. The book is good by the way, and would be an encouragement or enlightenment for anyone to read. (just a small paperback-not too heavy) | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/1/2004 6:02:59 PM | having to "deal" with another's culture is an interesting side effect of interracial dating - one I never expected to have happen when I started seeing girls who weren't white. I've always had a "thing" for Latina and Asian ladies, and their family structure is far more communal than the barely-together nuclear family I grew up in. Naturally, a large family gathering where there were aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. out the wazoo was an awkward situation for a guy who is used to not being among tons of strangers, especially if there's a second language involved.
Still, it broadens your horizons in ways you'd never, never imagine. I'm all for it.
(I'm also all for hearing from Asian ladies in my geographical region, on that note. Y'all know I'm teh sexah) | |
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xchuck
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Joined: 6/11/2004
Msg: 33 | |
| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/1/2004 6:23:57 PM | | Interacial dating is not as much as an issue as it used to be, and that's a good thing. The only people i've seen that had a problem with it, Are your hardcore bigots. My 17 year daughter is interacial dating and i don't have a problem with it at all. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/1/2004 8:51:21 PM | | You know, reading this post has actually reminded me of a couple of things. When my ex and I got together...like I said, I didn't think about his race. We got married and everyone in his family has told me that if his step dad (who was black also) had been alive he would have thrown a fit and disowned my ex. When we were in N.C. at a restaraunt I had a couple of black women going off at the table behind me because he was there with a white chick..lol. I have not had anyone who was white really say anything. I just don't see what the problem is. A person is a person, no matter what their skin tone is. And for the one dating the muslim, I know a girl who dated a muslim, married him, and she converted to his religion. She was a Presbyterian to begin with. So, it worked for her. Hope it does for you also. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/4/2004 11:33:58 AM | | Well, I dont think you should refer to it as "interracial dating" its just dating. I know there is still some uneducated people in the world that think this is the biggest "sin" in the world. But its just two people from diffrent back grounds of life. We all come from that no matter what race you are. Plus bi-racial people are so cute. They have diffrent mixes of eithnics inside them and to tell you truth I think 99.9 percent of people are bi-racial. If we look down our family tree we all have alittle bit of everything in us.. So girl dont worry about what others think if you meet someone and he is a diffrent race than you look past that and find out about the person on the inside. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/4/2004 11:51:49 AM | I do not care about race, creed or natioanl origin as long as people treat each other nice.
I dated black girls in college and most recently a lady from Columbia South America. All were pretty and all treated me nicely. I would have married any one of them if it worked out that way. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/4/2004 2:01:28 PM | My current bf is Iranian and we've known eachother for awhile, have been REALLY close friends and started dating awhile back. Race is never something I've been swept up about, I don't see why anyone should be. As long as you're attracted to the person, not just physically but to their personality as well, what's the problem? And they also treat you good, like others have said in here. Not only them, lol but you also have to treat them well!
I remember only one time I refused to date a guy who was not native, but not because he was Caucasian, but because he was racist. Not so much towards my 'culture' and things like that but towards black people, I couldn't stand it. Gave him the boot because racism is something I will never stand for. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/4/2004 7:04:18 PM | | thanks for the comments,i dont care what other people think,,i really like the guy.I dont care if hes purple ,black,green or orange,i like him and im going to continue to date him. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/4/2004 9:51:28 PM | stick to ur guns ! sweety ! the real question is will the guy ur dating is he as gutsy as you ? i hope so ! good luck ! the religion get s in the way more than race , what we fight are ideas not color! narrow minded people are what causes grief !
good for you go for it | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/4/2004 11:02:00 PM | | My family is from the South and they've all been taught that blacks, hispanics, middle eastern people are all good for nothing. I'm glad my parents are breaking the cycle of discrimination with my sisters and me. I'm personally not attracted to many blacks but a little flavor in the soup is a great thing. I don't see anything wrong with dating someone who doesn't have the same skin color as you. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/4/2004 11:30:03 PM | My father told me, "Date or marry whomever you want. It's your choice, but obviously some pairings are going to be easier for everyone around you to handle than others." So it boils down to whether you mind what everyone else's reaction is going to be.
In fact, you could say that applies to same-race couples too. Some guys, e.g., who want to be with a sophisticated crowd feel pressured to stop going out with a simple lady (like in that movie "Legally Blond").
You see famous people who have interracial relationships in real life bring up the subject of getting along with their environment. I think Wesley Snipes (?) mentioned it once; he was going out with a white woman but switched to a black woman to avoid having to deal with other people's reactions and the way they were looking at him and his girlfriend. There was also that movie he was in -- "Do the Right Thing" I believe it was -- where he shows the practical problems that crop up in interracial relationships. There was nothing wrong except with people around him being racist. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/5/2004 12:04:07 AM | quoting somerset maugham....'i have the yellow streak'...im really brownish i guess and not really yellow but still...and yeh the reality is tht a lot of people freak out if they think theyre attracted to me enough to want to be in a relationship..
ive never officially dated anyone tht ws white but from umm other experiences..its just very very difficult to break the mould irrespective of how strongly u feel abt someone...personally every guy i ever thought abt actually asking out or vice-versa ..as in they asked me and i thought abt how to respond etc..each time tht happened with someone tht ws white, i had to ask myself if i wud b expecting too much from them and too much from my family..
ive always thought love is my religion etc and tht i wud do all for the one i love and stuf but yeh the thought tht i wud b expecting far too much from them and from my family always manages to creep in..i mean they wud have to deal with everything tht comes with me and my family wud have to deal with everything tht came with them ..
if u look at it more practically though..isnt tht the case in every relationship, irrespective of wht the color of the ppl involved is..the fact tht u actually feel tht way abt someone is the bottom-line when alls said and done i reckon...
so yeh in conclusio i do think we have a long way to go before inter-racial dating isnt even a topic of discussion but while it remains so, i hope love and general good-will towards umm fellow beings will rule the day :) | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/5/2004 5:38:22 AM | Maybe its just me and the people I call friends, but, I dont have a problem with it, my friends dont have a problem with it, my family dosnt have a problem with me being white and my husband being hispanic. If your happy and someone else dosnt like it, too bad.
Is there sometimes a clash or bumper car reaction because of cultures, well yeah, it happens even when two people of the same race get together, it happens all the time most just dont pay attention to what seems to be a "regular" type of relationship, and I use regular very loosly.
Ive noticed more looks and reactions from people wondering why a 140 lb woman would be with a 325 lb man. It was really bad years ago when I was still 120 and he was 280, I actualy had a man come up to me and ask "why would you be with someone like that"? All I could say was "what"?! He was refering to wieght not race. I was flabergasted! What the H*LL does that have to do with anything, especialy when he treats me with respect, love, and the wildest nights in bed I'd ever had.
I think if I could go back I would punch that guy in the nose just for being such an *sshole. I dont think this really makes a difference but the guy who asked such a stupid *&%(*& question was black and about 35 at the time.
Ive never had anyone else, ever, ask me a question regarding race or wieght in the 14 years we've been together. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/5/2004 6:30:29 AM | | I can understand people having preferences, we all have them. But for crying out loud have some class,couthe(sp?) or just plain manners. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/5/2004 8:07:13 PM | | This makes me sad. When I was in high school I had a black boyfriend, I'm Hispanic. We were very close but knowing that my family would dissaprove I broke up with him and threw myself into other aspects of my life. It's a little regretful but now as an older adult my preferences have changed. I still ocassionally ponder on what could have been . It's noticeable when you see interacial dating but I don't see anything wrong with it. I try to see the person rather than his ethnicity. But nonetheless, I end up being attracted to white guys, or mixed guys. (hispanic/white). You never know though. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/5/2004 8:44:20 PM | | Interracial dating is all I've ever known. Believe it or not, I have a 100% strikeout ratio with white women. All two of my ex-girlfriends were of Asian descent. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/6/2004 1:22:12 AM | I don't know... i don't like the fact that a white guy would date a black girl and don't like the fact that people would acturly MIX white.N.black but i have a neice that is half white/blk and a nephew that is half blk/white. But ME personalY i would NEVER/not date a blk guy. and i do not think i could date a white guy who has been sexual imtiment with a BLK chick.
I DON'T CARE WHO THINK'S I AM BEING HATEFULL YALL SAID LET EVERYONE KNOW WHAT PEOPLE, THINK WELL THIS IS WHAT I THINK WHITE'S SHOULD STICK WITH WHITE'S. BLACK'S SHOULD STICK WITH BLACK'S!!. | |
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| Interracial Dating....
Posted: 11/6/2004 4:02:36 AM | tainted_angel? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I know alot of people who believe that everyone should stick with their own race. But the part I findly strangely offensive with your post was when you said ' you dont think you could be with a white guy who had been with a black chick'!!!!??? What is that about? So just thought of a white guy being with a black girl is enough to turn you off him? Now that's offensive to me!
But anyways ....... dont wanna waste too much of my time dwelling on ignorant people!
As a mixed race person coming from an interacial relationship, I can personally say that I have experienced little racism or unkindness towards me. Whether I've been at school, work, out drinking etc.. whatever, obviously there have been the occasional situations where my race has become an issue, but I wouldn't say that it's because I'm mixed, more because of the black in me. Thats what I have found people to be predjudiced against. I have never had a comment such as: 'I bet you're mixed up, you dont belong to any race, white or black!' Only against me being part black!
Maybe it's because I'm in England, I dont know how different it is living in the states and experiencing an interacial relationship. But here in London, it's common. I dont think many people who have grown up in London even notice interacial dating or bi-racial children anymore. It's a common sight. | |
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