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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 5:07:37 AM | Chick is in Georgia , Problem with people is no one likes the truth..
When a woman says her size is any number you have to add 21 to it..For men if you did not know this NOW you do.. Add to that the honesty factor and woman usually Squeeze into there paints buying a size smaller then they really are.
Any one hold up a pair of 39 paints ? LMAO ya ok ,, I am 5 feet tall and where something that can wrap around 2 people but I am not big..WOW talk about lying to oneself . 10 is average 18 is almost double that ! ! ! ! ! ya i am not big.
Obviously for dating , bigger women do nothing for me , But as a person "Who they are" I can not say and have no opinion , But if ya mislead like happens all the time YOU ARE A LIAR , and as such have low moral standing , GET some self esteem , bigger is something many men like , don't mislead or pretend looks don't matter,Put it out there for all to see it can ONLY help you find someone who wants to be with you.
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QUOTE:
Dude!!!!!
What planet are you from?
What kind of insensitive ars says shit like that?
I feel sorry for any woman that you obviously lie and dupe into being with you.
This coming from a man who would gladly kick you stright in the nuts, just for wating the air we breathe.
Late
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Play the defender all you need to the truth is heavy women lie about it and then feel slighted when there discovered . That behavior is rampant on line and someone needs to call it out so that it stops . I won't even address your silly remark of violence others can see you chances at that would be slim at best . .
NOW: If i was here as a hobby like bowling , or even a club of mutually interested people , size does not matter one bit , BUT THIS IS A dating site , people would enjoy an honest interaction with others that fit into the personal preferences.
All this crap a few extra pounds,,Average built , I would say 90% of the time those phrases are used to inaccurately describe a womans build , it is sad , getting old and should be changed to something a lot more specific..And if people would be honest and stop lying to someone who is a size 18 at 5 feet tall by telling them the truth,,YOU ARE FULL FIGURED ,, Nothing wrong with that but don't try to hide it until ya meet someone or try to engage in long deep discussions before you show a photo ! ! !
So ya go ahead find excuses to tell that woman she is from england LMAO..A new twist, I cant wait to see that in a new answer so we can be tricked by the heavy chicks some more LMAO . .
And as far as my personality goes if any one sees my frustration at being tricked or mislead ya clearly it is a problem,,How would men deal with a knock out pretty woman who is not a woman but a transsexual ? Would ya accept her and date her or feel mislead or lied to ? WOULD personality be your biggest concern LMFAO , , Same applies to heavy set .. Different issue but still something many prefer not to date and have the right to make an honest decision based on correct facts,, which we are denied causing some irritation LOL.. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 5:50:17 AM | you shouldn't post a photo more than 2 years old. anyone agree? disagree?
Depends, if the appearance such as hair & weight hasn't changed, it's ok to post an older photo. If there have been changes, a recent photo is a good idea. I think it's a good idea for everyone, man and woman, to have recent photos. I'm on the heavier side and it tends not to show up in my face as much, so I made sure I posted a full photo too. Some people (men & women both) misrepresent themselves. I once met a guy (through another site) that used a photo which had to be at least a decade old. The thing is, he wasn't unattractive, but it was just so jarring to see something so different. It made me wonder what else he misrepresented.
Snoggins, to answer your question about treadmill/bike, keep with it. I had hit 250 pounds when I realized I really needed to make changes for the sake of my health. I've lost over 50 pounds and I'm still working on it. I could barely do 20 minutes on an exercise bike or elliptical, but now I can do 45 minutes without wanting to pass out. It was very slow going at first but I kept with it. Eventually, it becomes a habit. Do you work out with music? I find that helps a lot. And do you set up rewards for yourself? When I hit my halfway mark, I treated myself to an ipod. And I created a workout mix of music I like.
Foodwise, I've gone with smaller portions. While it's an adjustment initially, after awhile, it's 2nd nature and those restaurant portions start looking huge. When eating out, I go with the Weight Watchers tip of halving it and taking the rest home for lunch or dinner the next day. I eat a lot of veggies and fruit. Fortunately, my health insurance covers a consultation with a nutritionist. It was really interesting and informative. Btw, you look very nice in your photos.
As to posting weight in profile, the problem with that is many men have a very unrealistic idea of women's weight. I've read guys' profiles where they'll indicate up to 6 feet is good for their potential mate, but she shouldn't weigh anymore than 120 or 130 pounds. That's pretty thin for someone that height (btw, I'm not knocking anyone who is that weight/height, some people just tend to be on the thinner side). Plus as people mentioned, not everyone looks their weight. I'm 5'8 and when weight comes up, people usually do a double take when I tell them the exact no. because they tend to think I weigh less than I do.
Part of the problem is how subjective things are. At 5'8, I've been as thin as 120 and as heavy as 250. From BMI charts (I think they indicated anything from 125-165 for my height) and based on how I feel at various weights, I'd say the best weight for me is anywhere in the range from 130-160. That's what I would consider average for me. But that might vary for another 5'8 person. I would consider a few extra pounds anything up to 10. So for me, a few extra pounds would be 161-170. Anything over that would put me in the site's Big & Tall/BBW category. Since that's what I am now (usually a size 16 right now, but can be a size lower or higher depending on the cut of the clothes), I checked off the Big & Tall/BBW category. Between that and the recent photos, I feel I'm being sufficiently honest. And before I respond to an e-mail or send an e-mail, I'll check the guy's profile to see if there's a weight preference. If I don't fit it, I don't e-mail him or if I'm responding, I'll note that in my response.
Of course, there's the issue of guys who actually have a preference for larger women. I've addressed that by putting a "couch potato in recovery" part in my profile so they'll know I'm not planning to stay at my current size.
I wish people would just focus on being healthy. Maybe we should start including blood pressure & cholesterol readings in the profiles too  | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 6:09:45 AM | Hi Everyone I had some time on my hands and this is my first post so forgive me if I am not up to speed. Mystical you have the right to what you desire in a person. However, that being said I think the idea of weight posting defeats its purpose. Picture posting is what we need. Many people hide behind veils....a recent picture shows who you are. For example, I am 5 foot 7 and I weight 186. If I were to put that in my profile I believe men would consider me an unattractive prospect (many that is)
I however, work out 5 days a week in the gym for 1.5 hours and do 5 hours cardio and 2.5 hours weight training a week. I have lost 104 pounds over a 5 year period. I found this topic interesting because the issue of weight was one that I have and still am dealing with.
I believe that if you are corresponding with a people you really need to post a picture so they can see for themselves if they are attracted. If not, you should indicate that you will forward one after some conversation.
Wouldn't that take care of any conflict over size? And btw have a bit of a heart....some people like me when I was 100 pounds heavier are in denial. They dont want to consider themselves overweight and hate societys standards. PATIENCE and COURTESY are the key to dealing with online dating.
ALL the best to everyone here people are essentially good. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 6:20:05 AM | | Hi downtoearth......I looked at your pictures in your profile and you are NOT BBW in my opinon. I really think this size category should be revamped to activity category.....that is what is important. I agree with you health is of primary importance in life. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 6:31:31 AM | Amante, if they had a category between a few extra pounds and BBW, say full figured, I'd select that, but since they don't I went with the Big & Tall/BBW category. I'm currently 195, which at 5'8 and based on BMI charts & how I've felt at past weights, I'd classify as more than a few extra pounds.  I checked the larger category so there won't be any misunderstandings. A lot of guys are focused on weight. If my being heavy bothers a guy to the point where he doesn't want to get to know me, c'est la vie. There are guys out there who aren't so obsessed with it, so I'll focus my attention on them.
Btw, great work on your lifestyle change!  Do you participate a lot in the fitness thread? I've been skimming them. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 6:49:02 AM | well how would u feel if i said im 5ft 6,weigh 18stone 1lb,however im a 16-18 dress size???
ive had my doctor ask where its hidden
theyre now proving that weight cannot be used to justify if someone is fat or not
i do get paranoid of my heaviness,but hey it protected my kids and me from a violent partner and to that im grateful
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 6:54:34 AM | I just thought I would ad my little piece of wisdom to this terribly long thread.
I am a large-size woman In the "weight exceptance community" I believe I would be referred to as a "BBW" but I have NO intention of stating my official weight to anyone.
The number is not as significant as the body type and how you dress and carry it.
I believe that everyone needs to be as honest as possible about appearance as it just leads to dissapointment for everyone concerned.
It is unfortunate that we have to be labelled but if everyone could understand the terminology it would make things quite simple.
FULL FIGURE......is a few extra pounds (10-20)
PLUS SIZE.......is extra pounds (20-60)
BBW........is alot of extra pounds (60-150)
SSBBW.........is a whole lot of extra pounds (150 and up)
Just be honest and don't take it personally if someone is not attracted to a certain attribute......whether it be hair color or type......weight.......height.........intelligence.........or profession. Everyone has their preferences and order of importance. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 7:03:56 AM | The trouble is theres gonna be a lot of larger peopple on the internet as there are in the real world and its a problem that your going to come across although saying that Im not perfect either im 5ft 3 and 9 and a half stone so Im hardly skinny  | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 7:05:15 AM | | no i disagree with you there moonriver. I think that it is more men who demand a photo than us woman | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 8:30:15 AM | | If you're hardly skinny, why did you use "thin" in your profile? | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 9:11:10 AM | | Wanger!!...lol..OMG thats such a good response...P.S. I like a guy that has the few extra Lbs...A guy who says he works out 5 days a week worries me.... | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 9:22:05 AM | AngelAmbie wrote:
I agree that a few extra pounds would not be 50 or 60...but on the other hand 50 or 60 pounds would not be BBW, which when a woman enters it on her profile, is the only other option. It is true that this debate should focus more on the honesty of a person, but it's not being deceptive to put yourself as "a few extra pounds" when the only other option (BBW) is deceptive as well. How about some middle ground? Since this is obviously (due to the large number of responses) a valid subject to many people, I think it should be brought to the attention of the people that run this site (POF) that they need to alter this and add an in-between weight category.
My thoughts exactly! I am more than "a few" pounds overweight (20 lbs according to the health charts, 50 lbs according to what I weighed in my youth). I am not, however, BBW, and also I have noticed that a lot of guys who list themselves as "average" are clearly more than "a few extra pounds" overweight. It would seem, then, that everyone (or most people) present themselves (see themselves?) as thinner than they are. In that context, I feel that "a few extra pounds" is the best description of my degree of overweight.
It bothers me. I don't want to be deceptive. (The reason my picture isn't posted publicly is connected to my work. But I send anyone who asks a link to my pictures, so that no one who is interested in dating me needs to worry about my size.) I think it would be wonderful if we had a couple of in-between categories such as:
"pleasingly plump"
and
"overweight but not obese"
JMHO
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 9:24:56 AM | I am confused here as to what the problem is with understanding my last post.
I am 5 feet tall, I now wear a size 18, I do not look like the Michelin man, nor do I have a huge ass or huge legs. Many men who like bbw tell me that I am too small for them, since they like women who are larger than me who have a huge ass and large legs.
When I weighed 114 pounds , I wore a size 10 petite, at times a size 8 petite (American sizes).
Insulting others makes men seem common, classless and rude. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 9:45:52 AM | | I have never stated in a post that I am a small woman, I had my exact size in my profile when I was seeking men to date on POF, I removed it since I am now here for the forums. I don't think people know how to comprehend what they read, especially when it is written by a larger woman who of course is automatically a liar and ugly and gross to so many men who seem to think that if women on POF aren't thin and beautiful they do not need to be here. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 9:52:31 AM | All this crap a few extra pounds,,Average built , I would say 90% of the time those phrases are used to inaccurately describe a womans build , it is sad , getting old and should be changed to something a lot more specific..And if people would be honest and stop lying to someone who is a size 18 at 5 feet tall by telling them the truth,,YOU ARE FULL FIGURED ,, Nothing wrong with that but don't try to hide it until ya meet someone or try to engage in long deep discussions before you show a photo ! ! !
So ya go ahead find excuses to tell that woman she is from england LMAO..A new twist, I cant wait to see that in a new answer so we can be tricked by the heavy chicks some more LMAO . .
No one's saying someone five-foot and (N. American) size 18 isn't large. And almost everyone on this long, long thread agreed that honesty (taking into account varying personal opinions about what "a few extra pounds" means) is the best policy. And MOST graciously accept other people's preferences. It's just that insulting terms raise hackles. It works the other way, too. At times on this and other "fat" threads, thin women have been called "sticks," "skeletons," "boney hags." None of it is nice.
And by the way, the England "twist" is actually relevant. There are a lot of Europeans on this site. Clothing "sizes" are different here. That's simply a fact. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 9:52:42 AM | re msg 1214
Well someone sounds rather bitter this morning. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 10:00:05 AM | Okay...after reading the most recent posts on this thread I am going to suggest that POF does something RADICAL...ha ha ha
Let's not have ANYWHERE for people to post their weight on their profiles, but instead make it mandatory to have a recent full length picture of themselves. That way, no one has to say their weight, but everyone can see what you look like!
*sigh* I know I'm dreaming on this concept...but it would be ideal.
Oh, and for the MALE who wrote that "a few extra pounds" was no more than 6-8....so what you are telling me is that 10 pounds overweight should be listed as BBW (since it's the next option)??? Get real. The problem is that guys are clueless when it comes to what a normal woman weighs. They place numbers and sizes on it, instead of taking into account body shapes (a.k.a. I have a HUGE ass and small waist, so my sizes change depending on top or bottom) and structure of a woman. I would say women do this too, but after reading the numerous posts I have to say that women are BY FAR more accepting of a man's weight than vice versa. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 10:01:41 AM | reply to message 1201 diehrd9.
You are right about my remarks of violence. It was uncalled for. I just couldn't believe that someone could actually say, let alone think something as insensitive as that. It blew me away! (ref msg #1091)
Thank you for straightening me out on that point, makes me look like an uneducated fool. Rest assured it won't happen again. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 1:07:46 PM | ^^^^^ that's the way to tell him poundcake ummm, i mean pownecake?? whatever.
what have we learned?
nobody likes my idea of a stated weight.
nobody likes my idea of a bikini photo for all women. some woman wanted men in speedos and the size of a certain part of his anatomy stated. speedos are rare nowadays, honey. in regards to the size thing, don't you ladies like surprises like that?
everybody likes more categories for sizes.
everybody likes the idea of a full length photo in form fitting clothes (no mumu's or tents)
ok. i concede. who runs the show here? let's get the bigwigs to include more categories and and a recent picture in form fitting clothes stating the date of the photo.
slacks/skirt and a pullover for the ladies and slacks and t shirt or polo shirt for men. or shorts for either.
anyone agree or disagree???
there we have it! problem solved. NEXT!!!!! | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 1:30:38 PM | When a woman says her size is any number you have to add 21 to it..For men if you did not know this NOW you do.. Add to that the honesty factor and woman usually Squeeze into there paints buying a size smaller then they really are.
I'm not fluent in nonsensical babble,so you may have to translate this one for me....first of all,what are you adding 21 to?And as for your honesly factor,I actually wear pants one to two sizes too big,for comfort!No way would I ever cram into too-small pants,and I doubt many overwieght women would...ever heard of camel toe?
Some overwieght women lie about thier size...SOME...NOT ALL....please don't paint us all with the same brush.
downtoearthsi....thanks for your advice!I work out to music,or the tvs on the bikes and treadmills.I still have little treats,my problem isn't overeating,I have a fussy easily upset tummy,my problem was underexercising lol.....
^^^^^tomozzo,I DO list my wieght (now) and it ain't makin' the messages pour in,lol..... | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 1:45:11 PM |
I'm not fluent in nonsensical babble,so you may have to translate this one for me....first of all,what are you adding 21 to?
He's referring to men's pants sizes. Women's run in low numbers to start; our pant sizes generally start at a 29" waist and go up from there. He's generally correct. If a woman says she wears a size 10 women pant, in men's pant sizes she would be a size 31. We have no clue what women's pants sizes look like, but we understand what our pants do. lol | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 1:45:34 PM | can you believe we are on page 49 with this??? anyway no wonder the diet industry is such a booming thing . no wonder women starve themselves . we know that the moment we eat normally and look normally we automatically become invisible to men . and i dont mean bbws or overweight i mean no longer impossible thin and like barbie . stupidly when i was between the ages of 14 to 22 i would only eat for breakfast something that would fit in the palm of my hand like a tangerine or half an apple or orange and i only ate at all so that i could take all my vitamins so they would absorb better . after that i only allowed myself one meal a day . a very small meal . on top of that exercising over the top every day even when i was sick . well now i am older and wiser so no more of that for me . but its interesting how invisible i became after 22 when i was a normal size 10 and at 5,8and a half thats not big . anyway i would never do that again because if i would have to starve myself to get a mans attention then he is so not worth it. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 2:21:13 PM |
our pant sizes generally start at a 29" waist and go up from there. He's generally correct. If a woman says she wears a size 10 women pant, in men's pant sizes she would be a size 31.
lol,ok,fair enough,I thought it was an insult....pardon my faux pas.....
do me a favor....don't ever EVER add 21 to my pants size,I'd never live it down... | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 2:29:42 PM | I dunno why its a big deal anyways.You should just judge these things on an individual basis anyways and if you dont like them then dont see them again,simple and easy,works really well.  | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 2/17/2007 3:49:37 PM |
I dunno why its a big deal anyways.You should just judge these things on an individual basis anyways and if you dont like them then dont see them again,simple and easy,works really well.
Nah, Edwardo, that would be TOO simple and wouldn't allow a lot of people the chance that they obviously crave to judge others, and feel superior because of their own perfection. (And, yes, I realize that a LOT of people are responding to this thread in a positive manner, but, as always when it's possible to do a little 'fat chick' bashing, a lot aren't! To the former group, kudos, to the latter, pffffft. )
I would never choose a mate depending on their body type or size, and I am not interested in the least in meeting anyone who would. I prefer tall teddy bears, but if some short (wanna talk about some misrepresentation, I've kissed a lot of "I'm 5'10" frogs who looked me straight in my 5'3" eye!) thin fellow asks me out who can maintain an intelligent conversation and make me laugh I'll be thrilled to spend time with him!
I've been skinny, I've been overweight, I've been in-between, and now...well, I'm inbetween again. But, I've been the same person at all those sizes. I was always honest before I met anyone. No one ever went home disappointed in my appearance after we met...and I serial dated for a while, so we're not talked a couple of coffee meets here and there. Most told me (without prompting *grin*) that I had misrepresented myself, not in a bad way, and they'd been pleasantly surprised. I realize everyone doesn't do that and I only wish that these "fat chick" threads could focus on the honesty factor and not end up just 'fat bashing.'
~Bobbin | |
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