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 johnny prophet
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 1976
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A Few Extra PoundsPage 80 of 82    (42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82)

dangerous, who on this thread has said they were offended that a guy isn't into heavy women?


Well, i admit that I haven't read every single post in this 86 page long thread... but I did read quite a few of them that seemed QUITE offended when men spoke up and said they weren't into heavy women.

Here's a hypothetical to illustrate my point:

If you start to smoke a cigarette in front of me and I grab it out of your mouth, make a big "mr. yuck" face and grind the cigarette out on the floor... do I really need to tell you that I don't want you to smoke? I'm pretty sure that my ACTIONS and my EXPRESSIONS were enough to convey that message. Similarly, there have been MANY, MANY, MANY negative reactions toward any of the men who say anything (be it logical, hurtful or inciteful) other than "Give me some more BBW, please."

Another example:

I get lots of messages back from women that I've messaged who say "I don't date guys with long hair."

Should I start a forum crusading for the guys with long hair, and how we're still intelligent, funny, sexy, caring, giving, loving, nurturing, wonderful people and women should learn to look past our hairstyle to the beauty within?

I think, instead, I'll just look for girls who dig guys with long hair. And if it turns out that I can't get the kind of girl I want with this haircut... maybe I'll consider cutting it.
 *snoogins*
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 1977
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:51:11 AM
Merf,hun,I agree,it gets tiring to have to deal with so much crappity-crap-crap just because of the way we look.
And,dangerous22..It's not the lack of preference most chubbies are upset about.If a man passes me by due to my size,so be it!I will not insult that man just because I am not his type. The regular posters on here(merf,dawn,452,eastside eddie,diva,fireknight,et al)also share the same thoughts,none of us are bashing anyone who doesn't like overwieght in any way shape or form.We have just gotten a little tired of the general shit that is thrown at us chubbies.Being ridiculed,made fun of,just because we carry extra wieight,THAT is what I consider offensive.If I am too fat for you,FINE,move on,take care then,bye bye now.It's the ar$eholes who just jump all over us,berating us for lack of will power,calling us twinkie-hounds etc....the stereotype of the fat person,sitting on thier butt stuffing chow in thier face is SO done.I feel like a criminal sometimes,like I should be shunned for my flab.And,what about the word 'obese'?Jesus,I have never seen that word as much as I have seen it since my stop at ye olde' chubthread.I definitely take offense at THAT word,as I'm sure most heavy people do.Currently I wiegh 181 lbs,which is not freaking obese,fat yes,obese,I don't think so.People should actually look up the meaning of a word before they toss it around like so much rancid confetti.The word 'obese' conjures up pictures of 600 pound people,having a wall of thier house removed a la Jerry Springer.
So,to reiterate,we are not offended at the people who don't want us,we are offended by the constant barrage of insults that people deign appropriate to throw at us.I mean,jesus,if you saw an ugly person on the bus,would you berate them for thier less-than-perfect face?I think not....but the rules just aren't the same for fat people...I don't think that is fair at all,and it's also the reason why some people feel the need to lie about thier size in thier profile.(not condoning it,just understand why it happens)
Now as for the sentence'some obese people might be very nice people'...really?They might actually be nice people?Wow,I never thought of that.....it's statements like THAT that stick in my craw,(no offense dangerous,I'm sure you meant it in a positive way)does my wieght dictate whether or not I am a nice person?NO!!!!My wieght merely dictates my size and the type of clothes I wear,it has NOTHING to do with my personality.Such a mode of thought is what offends heavy people.I am the sum of my many qualities,not the sum of my total girth.Feel free to pass judgement on my body based on my wieght,but DON"T judge the rest of me based on my stretch marks....I'm the same person I was before I gained 50 lbs.If an overwieght person has jumped on the 'shallow' bandwagon,bashing people who don't like fat,bashing the thin etc,then it's because that person has issues of thier own,low self esteem,hidden self hate etc.Don't lump all of us into that category!Believe it or not,all heavy people don't hate themselves!Some of us like ourselves very much,and realize that the flab on the outside has no effect on the treasures within.
Johnny Prophet,you make a very good point....as I said,the people that ARE offended by the people who turn them down due to weight,obviously have other issues to deal with.And Merf,I think THIS is my longest post yet lol.....
 Spiker.
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 1978
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:53:57 AM
Well said EastSideEddie. You are true to yourself, and others, and that's why you would make a good friend. See how easy that was Merf720. Take some lessons from EastSideEddie and be yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 1979
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A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:01:41 PM
i am myself, spiker, i am true to myself and others, all the time -- thanks. but this thread isn't about me.

and snoogs and johnny prophet -- the only offense i have seen taken by people on this thread is to being bashed rudely by people who obviously hate overweight people -- that is NOT at all the same as being offended because a guy prefers skinny women. the only thing i recall people saying about that is that it's cool -- everybody has their preferences, that's cool, and i really don't remember anyone saying it isn't. but bashing people because they are overweight? that is very uncool.

your example, snoogs, of bashing ugly people drives home the point. exactly.

and johnny, that is precisely how i respond to guys who aren't into me -- that is totally fine, in fact i'd rather they be upfront about how they feel or what they're into. i haven't said anything to the contrary, and i don't remember other people doing that either. i don't date guys who are politically conservative, i don't date guys much younger than me, i am upfront about these things, they are in my profile. and i don't apologize for them either.

but i am certainly not going to sit here and berate conservatives, make fun of them or call them names.

and i will ALWAYS speak up when people are being meanly bashed by some mean-spirited person... just not cool.
 *snoogins*
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 1980
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:06:40 PM
^^^^Thank you Merf!!How do you manage to make such an excellent point in only a few sentences?I try and end up with a novella lol...I'd love to be as succinct as you ,luv.And I will NEVER accuse you of hopping on that whining "shallow men" bandwagon,you are far too intelligent,with far too high self esteem to sink to that level.You have to admit tho,there has been a person or two who has posted on here that is totally into that whole 'if you don't like me you are shallow and in the wrong' camp.It's what makes everyone else think all of us subscribe to that mode of thinking.I mayself have a friend of two that hates anyone under 200 pounds,and judges the thin worse than some judge the fat!So those type of people do exist....
 loveisclickaway
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 1981
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:11:13 PM
I don't like men who are so ugly and shallow as 99 that they are afraid to put 'their' pic outthere for all to see. Even though I have 'many extra few pounds', I don't like men who say they have a few extra pounds and weigh 400 #'s. Also what's with the beards on most guys...are you too lazy to shave....yuck! See we all have our likes and dislikes

 loveisclickaway
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 1982
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:12:37 PM
johnny prophet is ugly, needs a haircut and a bath....so there. I can be mean too
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 1983
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Posted: 3/18/2007 12:15:41 PM
yea snoogs i guess there have been one or two or so postings like that, but look at how many postings there have been in total, i mean that percentage of people is extremely small, the vast majority of the women posting on this thread have not acted like that at all. (tho i DO remember some woman making mean comments about skinny women, saying they're all money grubbing barbies or something? that was just too stupid to pay attention to let alone remember ).

anyhow thanks so much for the love, snoogs -- you're awesome!!!!

ps: hey johnny you're in st. louis, i am from there -- :-)
 SecondTymeAround
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 1984
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:29:52 PM
I have to agree...I'ts not cool!

Usually I am a very laid back person but I am honest and speak my mind. Reading over some of these posts....well if everyone was perfect ....quoting their size as to average, muscular, few extra ponds or obese wouldn't be needed.

Every person has to look at themselves each day...and that reflection in the mirror is who they are...not what another expects them to be.

I am no skinny minni........how I class my self is a few extra pounds. I am big boned, my BMI (body mass index - for those not familiar electronically generated) is 176lbs. I am not a size 5 by any means......to tell a guy I weigh anything over 180lbs knocks their socks off but I do...quite a bit more...to look at me I am big and can hold my own which intimidates some men...not obese.

I leg press over 350lbs and lift over 400lbs.....now does that put me as athletic, does it put me as muscular, or because of the digits of my weight does it put me as overweight?
Every person is an individual and I agree with those people who said.......it only means your clothing size.

Watch the movie " SHALLOW HAL " maybe for some of you on here...perhaps that is why you are still on here.

Don't judge a book by its cover......read the pages in between.......its amazing what you will find.

To all the Few extra pounds and Obese people...both men and woman....I give you credit as you have the courage to say it as it is......and if you don't like what you read...oh well its freedom of speech.

Have a Great Week All!!!
 *snoogins*
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 1985
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:31:52 PM
^^^Oh Merf,I TOTALLY agree,the amount of that type of person on this thread has been few and far between.Notice,though,how it's THIER sentiment that sticks in everyones mind as the eternal-fat-person-mantra.

Also,what's with insulting Johnny? He isn't being derogatory,just stating his opinion in this,a common for the exchange of opinions....and personally,I think he's pretty damn fine.(Just my opinion,don't worry Johnny I'm not trying to beguile you.... )

spiritualist,I never thought you were being rude,and totally agree with your point,HONESTY is the key!and Merf,I didn't mean you ,hun,I know you didn't insult him,another poster did,just a few posts up....like I would EVER disagree with anything you said..never happen,hun!See,452,misunderstandings happen on here all the time lol....
 Spiritualist
Joined: 7/9/2004
Msg: 1986
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Posted: 3/18/2007 12:32:33 PM
I hope my post wasn't taken as bashing people who are overwieght, I was simply stating if you are overwieght don't lie about it, come out and be proud or at least honest, I judge no one, but hey if you lie to me especailly before I meet you you can bet there will be no second date LOL, I'm huge on honesty and dishonesty is a big time deal breaker, be who you are, I know a ton of guys who will not date skinny women they like women at least 100 pounds overwieght and some of these guys are some of the best looking guys I know.
I personally go by personality: hair color, age, wieght or race have nothing to do with me being attracted to a woman.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 1987
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Posted: 3/18/2007 12:34:05 PM
oh my, snoogs, did i insult johnny? i didn't mean to if i did!!!! oh you mean the person who said he needs a haircut? yea, what's up with that? ...but, anyhow, i am one of those who loves long hair on a guy -- very sexy indeed.

and spiritual, no, you weren't bashing anybody at all. not at all. you'd have to scroll back thru to find those messages, some real meanies.

and in any case, i was just taking exception to the characterization of women on this thread as getting all upset if a guy isn't into them -- i think that is a totally false representation of how the women posting on this thread have acted. and, i think whoever said that didn't read a single posting, or perhaps read two, and leapt to a false conclusion.
 promisez
Joined: 9/30/2006
Msg: 1988
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:45:02 PM

I leg press over 350lbs and lift over 400lbs.....now does that put me as athletic, does it put me as muscular, or because of the digits of my weight does it put me as overweight?


It puts you at that place in my mind that I make absolutely positively sure that you enjoyed our date at all costs as if my life depended on it. In reality though, loved your profile and weight has nothing to do with who you really are.
 drg1301
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 1989
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:49:56 PM
Spiritual I don't belive anyone took your post as bashing. At least they shouldn't have if they did. In fact I not only agreed with you, but if you look back a few pages you will see where I posted pretty close to the same thing.
 dpd22
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 1990
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:57:32 PM
dangerous, who on this thread has said they were offended that a guy isn't into heavy women? NO ONE but no one has said that... not that i recall. where do you guys get this stuff from? i surely do not know...


Some women on this thread were offended. Since there are 80 pages to this thread, you easily could have missed it.


sentence'some obese people might be very nice people'...really?They might actually be nice people?Wow,I never thought of that.....it's statements like THAT that stick in my craw,(no offense dangerous,I'm sure you meant it in a positive way)does my wieght dictate whether or not I am a nice person?NO!!!!


My point was simply that being overweight doesn't make someone a bad person. I think you are taking that statement the wrong way.
 cottoncandyinvb
Joined: 2/12/2007
Msg: 1991
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 1:04:15 PM
Well said, bravo! I hear dat! That's what makes dating so interesting though, I have to admit.....cuz I've been lied to in both directions and been very happily surprised! The one statement that I'd like to make though is this: You can lose WEIGHT...but you cannot lose UGLY......so that for me is a driving force! I find that super guy who wants to sexercize with me and lose with me, it's all GOOD! Personally, guys meet me and say I'm perfect...>I beg to DIFFER....to me, I needed to lose 30....fortunately, I've lose all but 5,,,,,,,,,,,best of luck to you~!~~~~ woooooooooooooooo Laurie in VA
 cottoncandyinvb
Joined: 2/12/2007
Msg: 1992
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 1:06:03 PM
DO NOT cut it~! I LOVE IT! I'm 50 yrs old and find long hair on the perfect face to be about the sexiest thing I've ever seen! Loved your comments!

Laurie in VA
 *snoogins*
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 1993
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 1:09:31 PM
Sorry dangerous,for the misunderstanding.I'm glad to hear you don't have the opinion I thought you did.
 original cyn
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 1994
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Posted: 3/18/2007 1:09:58 PM
As someone who has been at both ends of the weigh spectrum, would like to share a little story. I was married at the time. My husband told me that if I lost weight he'd LOVE me more. Having gone from almost 200 pounds to 120 pounds I have just one thing to say...IT MADE NO DIFFERENCE AT ALL....HE STILL RAN AROUND ON ME!! The lesson to be gained here by this little story is that ..SIZE should not dictate how much love we receive. To me it was obvious...there was NO LOVE involved in that picture. I left him shortly afterwards. REMEMBER...body size is prone to change but spirit and soul ...NEVER will. That's what counts in relationships. Thanks for listening. Have a great day!!
 johnny prophet
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 1995
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Posted: 3/18/2007 1:23:55 PM

johnny prophet is ugly, needs a haircut and a bath....so there. I can be mean too


I'd love it if you'd quote the part of my post that was mean, so that I can have a chance to respond. Otherwise, I'd say you just proved my point for me, single-handedly.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 1996
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Posted: 3/18/2007 1:58:14 PM
some point was proven, johnny, but i don't think it's the same point you were making.

perhaps it is that, as my best friend is fond of saying, "people are idiots."
 Spiker.
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 1997
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 2:02:01 PM
Wow. What a thread. The simple solution is to keep the body description blank. Then we can decide for ourselves what we want to put in there.
Should we or shouldn't we judge a book by it's cover? Of course we shouldn't. But we do anyway. Even those people who say we shouldn't judge, do it anyway. It's very prevalent in this thread.We ALL do it.
Take a close look at nature. Male mallard ducks get their bright green metallic plummage right before breeding season. Why? He is saying, "Yoohoo, look over here, pick me, pick me"! If you show up looking drab to the same pond, the female mallards aren't going to give you as much attention. And vice-versa. It works both ways.
Simply put, are you this person or are you this person I'm trying to write this as nicely as possible so that no one will take this personally, again.
Charles Darwin wrote a book on the subject of natural selection. That's how it was then, that's how it is now, and that's the way it will always be.
I'm attracted to the mind of a person first. Your mind produces the body that you are most comfortable with. To put it as nicely as possible. If you are of healthy mind and body, you will more likely be like this and you will get alot more of these more often.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 1998
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Posted: 3/18/2007 2:21:15 PM
really nice post, spiker.

the physical is part of it for everyone; but the mind is, or should be, first. i agree.
 VoluptuousinRI
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 1999
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 2:28:01 PM

Your mind produces the body that you are most comfortable with


Wow, if it were only that easy ....the power of positive thinking can help people overcome illness, stress and difficult situations; but as far as I know and believe me I had previously tried every diet known to man before I was diagnosed with a metabolic disorder, no amount of thinking you're thin is going to produce a thin body.

I think the frustration on this thread has been the generalizations by some that ALL overweight people are dishonest or are the weight they are because of diet failure, laziness, etc...

While your premise that having a healthy mind and body will produce more affection and love into your life is a nice thought, unfortunately, that isn't how our society works today...certainly not online dating sites.

You're correct when you refer to people judging by the cover-it is part of human nature to be visually attracted first, then want to get to know the person inside....

Unfortunately online dating sites only offer a one-dimensional glimpse into the person's personality and if the person reading your profile isn't attracted to your photo(s), it doesn't matter how nice you are, how smart you are, how funny you are, etc. because all they see is your physical characteristics and decide-Nope, not for me and click to the next.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 2000
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Posted: 3/18/2007 2:58:28 PM
Awesome post striker, snoogins, and merf. Johnny, I love your hair!!!

I am crushed to see that Clive has left the building...

Have a great day all!!!!

Hey, I'm number 2000!!! Woo Hoo!!!
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