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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 3:18:02 PM | I wrote earlier about afflictions that people can't do anything about. If you have something like this, it is very unfortunate. Weight will always be a problem.
My views are based on my own experiences. A healthy mind does produce a healthy body. A healthy mind will make the body eat properly, get regular fitness, and have bad habits under control (e.g. smoking and drinking like a fish). Personal experiences I have gotten past as well.
I don't find this dating site one dimensional at all. I read every profile I view. It is the written area of somebodies profile that attracts me the most. There are many "good" looking women on here that don't attract me at all, because of their vocabulary or mannerisms. Some guys like that, some guys don't. I'm sure that statement will offend another group of people. None intended.
Basically, what I'm saying is, if you are capable, tone or bulk up. Everything will become easier with every ounce gained or lost, depending on your body type. You owe it to yourself to at least try. You can make headway. I lost forty pounds and have kept it off. I like how I look and so do others. Sorry about the card life dealt you. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 3:28:37 PM | Spiker-Congrats on your loss, I know how difficult it is to achieve any amount of weight loss. If you're one of the few that actually reads the profile, then kudos to you
 because most don't and that was the "generalization" I was guilty of making in my last post.
Hey no pity needed on my end, I was just glad to finally have an answer as to why I couldn't loose weight no matter what I did. For years I'd struggled and be frustrated and everyone that knew me kept saying, something is wrong with you, you should be skinny. Even my azzhole ex said to me once, ya know I used to think you ate in secret or something; but after living with you now for awhile, I realize, you really don't eat-how come you're not thin?
When they finally diagnosed me and put me on meds I immediately lost 40 pounds within a few months and have kept it off for 5 yrs-and the diet change I had to make was to eat more-who would have thunk it?
I am very active, youthful and always busy-even my endocronologist had to admit, I'm the perfect example of a "healthy" fat person  Blood sugars, cholestrols, blood pressure, etc-all normal; but I still weigh more than I should for my height- oh well worse things in life than being "fat".  | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 3:54:53 PM |
Wow. What a thread. The simple solution is to keep the body description blank. Then we can decide for ourselves what we want to put in there.
Ok. This is my favorite solution to the question at hand. I think people would type a better description of themselves if they weren't held so tightly to the choices of "thin", "athletic", "average", "few extra pounds", and "bbw".
Of course, those who are going to be purposely misleading will find a way to do so regardless.
I must say that I am heartbroken that Clive Owen never even gave my profile a glance before he left our presence...sigh  | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 3:59:16 PM | | thanks promisez that was real sweet of you . i think i will continue to try to lose though and live a healthier lifestyle . as for the guy who said that we fat women got upset when men on here said they werent into us . not true at all . these men you were talking about were rude and hateful . they hate fat people therefore they wanted us to hate ourselves and hang our head in shame like we have done something wrong. in fact i specifically remember writing a post that why shouldnt men date skinny women if its what they like .i certainly dont want some guy who is going to be judging me all night and inspecting every piece of food that i eat . i usto starve myself with one meal a day and exercising to extremes all to get the attention of men like that ,but i stopped that insanity in my early 20s . no man is worth almost starving for and if thats the kind of woman he wants then i am glad not to be it .now because of a combonation of a screwed up metabolisim and being to sedentary i have extra weight to lose that takes even longer to come off . no one is going to take away from me the pride in the weight i have taken off already . it was tough .no one is going to shame me because i havent taken it all off in the time they think i should. thats why we got mad at those men .they are hateful and think we should take it all off in a couple months. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 4:16:50 PM | Merf....
You say that you take offense by being bashed by people who hate overweight people.
Well, I, for one take offence at what your sistah, *snoogins* said a couple of days ago:
"Yes,if you line up 6 women who have no body fat,they will all look proportional,because all skeletons look the same"
If thats not bashing slim people, I'll eat my twinkie. No, make that 2 twinkies.
Or mabe, *snoogins* was too hyped up on drugs that day to realize how hurtful that post was to us "skinnys". | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 4:28:25 PM | hmm, yes strephie, that doesn't sound too good. but snoogins is not a person who bashes people, she just isn't that type. snoogs, what did you mean?
perhaps she had intended to celebrate body fat (hee hee! even tho i mean that seriously it does sound kinda funny to say  ) rather than to bash people who don't have any, i dunno.
and spiker, yet another good post -- several pages back  i said something very similar, that when we are eating and behaving in a healthy way, we simply feel better, and why? because we are healthier, pure and simple.
i am a big believer, as i also said way back then, in common sense (there is no miracle diet!) and in moderation, in other words, in avoiding extremes -- like too much weight, or too much booze, or too much food or too little food, or whatever. everything in moderation, and balance balance balance. i am not ALWAYS successful in keeping to those beliefs, but i am much of the time. :-) | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 4:45:38 PM | | snoogins hyped on on drugs? i know she explained to me what a 420 is but that hardly makes her a pot head . just because someone in the past has smoked pot doestn make them a druggie. lady you really got some issues. she wasnt making any comment about skinny women being skeletol she was saying that if you line up six women with no body fat then they will pretty much look the same as opposed to women who have more then their fair share of body fat on them . you are taking offence at something that she never even said . | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 4:48:45 PM | | Will everyone please quit getting so defensive. At the end this is all just words on the screen. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 5:13:02 PM | Well as I said, in the end you are just words on the screen..
Back on topic. Spike congrats on the loss it takes a lot of work. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 5:21:27 PM | Congratulations on your 17 lb. weight loss. I too have extra padding and am definitely not ashamed of it. I have no intention of putting my wieght on a site...it's a moot point, however, I do disclose to everyone that I chat with that I am 'the perfect size 18'. I also realize that I do not have the luxury of looking anyway except impeccably dressed and groomed.....always. I determined as a college student years ago, that I may not ever be thin, but that I could definitely be attractive. Until that point I had been on every diet, taken diet pills, exercised, even had surgery. It didn't work. i only found out a few months ago that my thyroid gland doesn't work and that my metabolism has stopped. If they are unable to jump start it...it will have to be removed. Unfortunately, most men associate women who are larger than a 10 as being unattractive until they actually meet one who is! Everyone has some unique characteristic that makes us all different...not necessarily unattractive. I totally agree that guys and girls have a right to know about extreme physical characteristics, but if the person puts a current head shot on their profile....I can't imagine that a woman who is a size 18 will have a face that looks like a size 10. One other point and then I will get off my soapbox is that without automatically eliminating someone as a potential friend, date, whatever....you just might find someone that you are really interested in for other reasons than their body....or that the size 18 body isn't the turnoff you thought it would be. Thus far the men that have been in my life have appreciated the 'whole package'. Just 'food' (no pun intended) for thought. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 5:27:50 PM | Every man I have met who said they had a few extra pounds not only were liars about their weight but their pictures were outdated. I have met and seen pics of so many grossly over weight men I can not stand it any longer. I know the dif between a few and a whole lot. Who is kidding who? If someone is ashamed of being fat they should do something about it and if not then just say I am fat, overweight a cow whatever but be honest. I have met men who were overweight and much older than they claimed. One said he was 65 and he was 70 one said 69 and he was 85 years old. 85 is a long way from 69 no matter how you look at it.
Anyway I had a few extra pounds on my profile and my friends said I should change to average because usually a few extra pounds means FAT. So I thought it over and judging by the profiles I have seen they are right. We need a new catagorey for weight. You should have to pick the animal you most resemble in size. See how that works.
Dont get me wrong I have loved my share of over the petite size men but they didn't outright lie to me about it. HELLLLLLO we have eyes. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 5:32:53 PM |
I can't imagine that a woman who is a size 18 will have a face that looks like a size 10.
Umm, well most people would never guess from my face pictures either my size or my age  at least that is the comment I've heard over and over again and why I have a body picture posted-that way they can't say- they weren't warned or didn't know | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 5:36:49 PM | Yes,if you line up 6 women who have no body fat,they will all look proportional,because all skeletons look the same"
If thats not bashing slim people, I'll eat my twinkie. No, make that 2 twinkies.
Or mabe, *snoogins* was too hyped up on drugs that day to realize how hurtful that post was to us "skinnys".
another misunderstanding,I didn't call thin people skeletons,if that is what you are thinking.Take all the skin and all off 2 skeletons,and they both look the same,no?I went on to say that without any fat to distort it,the human frame looks the same as the next human frame.Does that clarify?I would hate to think that my posts were insulting to thin people,that would make me a hypocrite.BTW,the drug comment was uncalled for...that's what I get for being honest about about my pot tendencies,huh?I'm not at all ashamed of being a pothead....no matter how stoned I am,my posts are pretty clear,and spelled correctly....again,my bad for the misunderstanding.For those who waited for my side of the story,thanks for the support,and *hugs* to ya'll. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 5:47:34 PM | 452.....
"snoogins hyped on on drugs? i know she explained to me what a 420 is but that hardly makes her a pot head"
Perhaps you have not read all of *snoogins* profile"...excerpt:
"In short,I am,for the most part,a wise-cracking pothead goofball"
Oh and the "do you do drugs"? - > 3 times/week.
Go read her friends testimonials too.
I have no issues..I just get my back up when someone bashes me for being thin in a thread where I'm obviously the minority. And, 452, it WAS a bash at thin people!!!!
The original poster's question was about HONESTY not fat/obese/thin/ugly/pretty, blah,blah,blah...... | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 5:54:02 PM | snoogins, that is what i thought you meant. it's actually a good metaphor to think about body shapes, the skeleton. good on you for thinking of it.
and by the way, i'd LOVE to smoke a doobie with you someday sis!!!!!!!!!!!!!   | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 6:05:27 PM | | look up above snoogins clearly spells out what she meant . if you continue to choose to be offended by something you misunderstood then that is your own problem . if someone were to drink a beer 3 times a week so what . same thing with pot . at least she is honest about her pot use . many countries it is legal . just because canada has not gotten around to legalizing pot doesnt mean it wont happen . anyway just read what she wrote because you are freaking out over nothing. snoogins is one of the nicest people in these forums. it is just a misunderstanding afterall . i misunderstood someone earlier so its no big deal .your right it is a post about honesty .so why shouldnt we be honest about everything. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 6:55:29 PM | 452....
These were your EXACT words a couple of posts back to me:
"snoogins hyped on on drugs? i know she explained to me what a 420 is but that hardly makes her a pot head . just because someone in the past has smoked pot doestn make them a druggie."
Court is adjourned.....dah...
BTW: Pot IS legal in Canada for personal use....
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 7:56:31 PM | | really pot is legal in canada ? well i must of been living under a rock because i think it would of been on the news . and please stop it already i am tired of fighting with you . canada is moving toward legalizing pot and is relaxing its laws on it but we are still aways from it being 100% legal . you cant go out to the store to buy it still . your information is flawed. you are choosing to be offeneded by snoogins ,get it you are CHOOSING it. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 8:01:02 PM | ^^no hard feelings,Strephie,when I typed said post,I was a little worried about using the term 'skeleton'.Guess I just didn't make myself clear enough.As for bashing thin people,never done it,never will.I have two very close friends,the closest in the world to me,actually.One wieghs 298 pounds,the other wieghs 115 soaking wet lol,and if I close my eyes and listen top them,I can't hear thier wieght at all,to make a wobbly metaphor.And yes,if you check out my pro,you will see my admittance to ganja-love,so Strephie,I'm aware you weren't just jumping to conclusions.
Again,Merf,452,you guys are such luvies,jumping to my defense.Rest assured,I gotcha backs *mwah*.BTW,Pot is legal in Canada?I was under the assumption it had been decriminalized,and you could carry up to 30 grams (loose,not bagged for sale)and not get anything but a citation...now they may have changed the rules again,I am woefully behind on my current events.
PS,You are correct,Strephie,the thread was indeed started re: honesty.However,if you were to read over the thread in it's entirety,(not an easy task,at 8o-ish pages tho,eh?)you'd see it has somewhat morphed into an open discussion on wieght issues in general.I think it's great that this topic has been brought to light,as I have said before,it promotes acceptance,and I hope it's banishing just a little ignorance. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/18/2007 8:25:04 PM | my profile says that I'm average because my weight has been very crazy because of eating disorders and health problems; I've been on both ends of the weight scale and I'm happy with what I weigh now. I look average for someone my age and family background.
But I agree totally. Women (and men) shouldn't lie about what they weigh thinking it will help them meet someone. You are building up a false idea of what your body is going to look like in person and in the end it will most likely hurt you.
So everyone should be happy with what they weigh and if they aren't, change it. Because this is it folks, there is no second chance in life. Be proud of who you are inside and out, and if you think you need a change, do it and be open about it. And most people are very encouraging about losing weight, and if they aren't, you don't want to talk to them anyway...
Thanks. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/19/2007 6:47:44 AM | In response to diehrd9....therapy my a**...who do you think you are? You wouldn't have to worry about 'passing me by'....it would be I who passed you by. You idiots just don't get it.....we don't need to bash 'slender chicks', need excuses, or great stories. We are just looking for a man who 'doesn't need therapy'. I have absolutely no self esteem issues....I think that one of the problems with men like you is that being with a "fat" woman....which is another stereotype there are so many more body types than fat or thin destroys your self esteem. Speaking of clouding descriptions....all of you on this thread who are such phobics about anyone over a size 10 regardless of their appearance is delusional if you remotely think that you don't have issues....maybe you should try therapy....if you're in the Savannah area buzz me. I did a home mortgage for an outstanding....yet very expensive psychiatrist that I can refer you to. I'm sure that he can help you....if you can afford him. And as far as delusions from the "Bubba Club" there are soooooooooo many.....height, personal hygiene, physical activities that you actually participate in, your own weight, intimacy issues, hang ups over exes, hair, teeth, the fact that you are avergage weight, but have a concave chest and legs like a chicken, that your skills as a lover "have much to be desired" is an understatement, how much money you really earn and how much it BOTHERS you when a woman earns 2 to 3 times more than you do....I think that it is time for me to retire myself from this thread....it is a prejudicial circus for all of you numnuts out there who are low on your testosterone levels. Soon enough the only people left on this thread to discuss this issue with will be the freaks like yourselves who just can't seem to get past this STUPID issue. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/19/2007 6:56:57 AM | | Reply to your reply djo660....as far as your body picture being posted...they can't say they weren't warned or didn't know. If you go back and re-read my post you will find that I "DISCLOSE" my body type to everyone that I chat with.....what is it about your body that you don't disclose even with your full body shot....chicken legs, personal hygiene, bald spots, concave chest, etc. And I am certain that if I did not disclose my age you would never even come close to guessing it! | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/19/2007 7:06:25 AM | I have to agree with you. I try to be very honest in my profile and I hope for the same from other people. I have always said that when I meet someone, I do not want to see that look on their face that says "you are not at all what I expected". I would rather men know up front what they are getting and maybe be pleasantly surprised at our meeting. I know that I am not perfect, but I am a fun, honest, kind, lovable person who is moderately attractive.
Honesty is important to me and it is really is disappointing when someone posts a photo that is 20 years old or they fib on their profile. For the record, if there is no photo I do not have much faith in someone and do not usually want to connect with them. I can only come up with a few explanations for no photo and none of them are very good. | |
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| A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/19/2007 7:44:54 AM | I am a big, fairly tall woman. It says so on my profile. My head shot doesn't so much show it, but, my body shots do. If that's not your cup of tea, oh well, everyone has their preferences.
What gets me is the men who don't look past the picture, then get offended when they find out that I'm not a smaller woman. I don't hide anything, but, I'm also not going to put a pic of my fat rear up as my main profile picture.
If that is going to make me dishonest, so be it...  | |
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