| | No sex before marriagePage 3 of 13 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13) | Nope.............bad idea.....better to jump in da bed and go for it then you will know if your compatible or not sexually...why wait.....I don't see the point Actually test drive the sex thingy a few times.
I think bad sex in a marraige is one doomed for failer... why wait......  | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/17/2005 4:12:17 PM | Webdiva....your profile says you are Catholic, your words betray the truth of your convictions. Even if your young daughter was being totally honest with you (because all twenty year olds are totally open and honest with their Catholic parents about sex) how could you possibly try to deny that religious conviction hasn't played a role in her decision?
Why would you even want to?
I have met more than a few people who try to pass off their decisions based upon faith as rational decisions...why is that? I hope you don't feel ashamed of your love of God. I don't share your beliefs but I respect your right to practice your faith. It seems to me, like people want to be more accepted in a changing society so they cling to their traditional beliefs but try to disguise them as non-traditional or rational choices. "I eat fish on Fridays because it's a healthy choice to cut down on red meat", "I go to church every Sunday to network with other professionals and maybe meet a nice person to have a relationship with", "I flog myself raw with a cat O' nine tails every night because I'm into BDSM"....ok, I'll buy that last one.
Oh and btw, I'm not advocating young people to go out and have sex either. Life is hard enough on them without over complicating things with fears of pregnancy or STD's. I was twenty when I lost my virginity. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/17/2005 4:35:57 PM | | t, d and h - I may be catholic but my daughter takes her religious beliefs from her father. Growing up my folks forced their beliefs on us kids - I swore I never would and have not - she and I discussed why it would be better for her to wait - Faith did not come into the discussion - AIDS STD those were the things we talked about - loss of respect - broken hearts, unplanned pregnancies - etc... | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/17/2005 4:40:03 PM | | Of course...what do I know....religion never had anything to do with it. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/17/2005 4:50:24 PM | No sex before marriage--oh damn NOW you tell me...
Oops!
MissR  | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/17/2005 4:56:00 PM | WebDiva, I totally agree with you. Kids don't always take after their parents beliefs or lifestyles. My kids go to church 3 times a week, while myself ( I am ashamed to admit it) can't remember the last time I went to church!!! I have 2 teenage girls and a 21 yr old. All virgins and none dating....(yet)
I encourge them to have independent thinking, and express themselves. So far, they have all choose to no sex before marriage. I wish I knew where they got that idea from. I can tell you it wasn't from me!!! | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/17/2005 6:35:02 PM |
No sex before marriage--oh damn NOW you tell me...
Oops!
I believe they are correcting that with surgery now, or I should say they can correct a part of it with surgery. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/17/2005 6:40:16 PM | | Tony - thank you - we as parents would hope that our children listen and learn from us - but you can not beat things into their heads if they are not open to listening. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/17/2005 6:56:18 PM | I think its definitely a personal thing but I for one don't want to risk my future plans on some temporary fun. I mean, I don't think its wrong but birth control is only so effective right? I WILL not be a parent outside of marriage or this young because I have college ahead of me. Geez... imagine raising a child while going to college (yeah adoption out would be an option but I'd prefer not to have to do such)
But whatever works for whoever :) | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/17/2005 7:08:38 PM | You're a sweetie Ayrlyn, I love how you have strong convictions but never judge others. You're lucky you're so young or I'd turn my powers of seduction in your direction....LOL
Here's looking at you kid! | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/17/2005 9:25:42 PM | | Thank you, You guys are the first to agree I can't belive how many people hate me because I do this. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/17/2005 9:28:16 PM | I respect thier wishes if that is what they choose..
But in a
Okay.. I am moving on then..
sort of way..
Although I have never met anyone that has declared this as thier way of life..
Katelynn | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/17/2005 9:30:14 PM |
Does any one else agree with no sex before marriage or am I the only one who think that this is a good idea????????????????????????????
I not only think it's not a good idea; I think a person's gotta be nutz to think they should get married without finding out if they're sexually compatible first. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/17/2005 9:32:41 PM | "I can't belive how many people hate me because I do this."
Oooh, here's a thought.....why do you do it then? I thought your pastor didn't send you? Perhaps is was Jeebus himself who spoke to you in a dream?
I just wandered inadvertently into your part of the forums and I was horrified...no wonder you can't stand to post this stuff in there.
Tell you what, Christians keep posting their judgemental hypocrisies in here and I'll make a habit of coming to visit you in the Religion section....deal? | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/18/2005 4:14:37 PM | | t,d and h, did you know that you don't have to be a christian to have morals and strong convictions? Face it, not everyone will agree on everything. The only thing that most of us want is for others to respect our decision in life. After all, our feelings in no way can possibly affect anything in your life. Let go of the hate. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/18/2005 4:41:07 PM | Tony, I see on your profile you put yourself down as "Non-Religious". Fine. My point has always been the same, on this or on the numerous other threads on similar topics. Of course I recognise that religious zealots don't have soveriegnty over morality or strong convictions or ethics or values either. I argue against their hateful judgements and ignorant insults to try and make that very point over and over again. People have the right to choose, this is a dating site, anything between two consenting adults is alright. I don't care what someone's interpretation of what Jesus may have thought about it is, that is why there is a section of the forum set aside for that sort of discussion.
I have never encountered the concept of no sex before marriage outside of a religious, fanatical environment and I'm sorry but the daughter of a Catholic mother fits into the "apple not falling very far from the tree" category....a person can paint a pony with black and white stripes but it doesn't make it a zebra.
People have the right to live their lives as they see fit AS DO I and all the billions of others out there who may have different ideas about how to live their lives. I'm tired and pissed off with zealots shoving their viewpoints in my face, in a public forum....I consider it an abuse of this site and my patience is wearing thin.
There are religious dating services available. I won't stand by and let this become co-opted into one....not as long as it is a public forum and I still have fingers to type with. | |
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Dreoth
| | Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 68 | |
| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/18/2005 4:51:25 PM | | I'm against the idea personally. I don't have any religious or conservative upbringing either. I was brought up with a rather open mind, and have developed into a rather sensual person. Before I would commit to something like marriage, I would have to be sure I'm compatible on all levels... Mental, physical, emotional, sexual, etc. Just my opinion though... | |
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jaxxx
| | Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 72 | |
| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/18/2005 7:02:40 PM | Since when was a body made to start having sex at 12-15 years old and not 28. Please. That has to be the craziest thing I have ever heard. I highly doubt that their is any more pain having sex at 28 then there is at 12. I had sex young and it didnt hurt at all , but my friends who had sex before me and after me said it hurt like mad. I think the pain is different for each person. And there really is no way to know if someone has had sex or not. If you are a very active young girl, you might have torn your hymen without even knowing. So there is no physical way to determine if one has had sex or not unless its forceful, then there will more then likely be scaring.
I think its great to want to save yourself for marriage. If thats what you want to do then all the power to you. I didnt wait and if I would have I wouldnt have my two kids. I dont regret my decision at all, and I dont think anyone should regret what they have chosen to do. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/18/2005 8:49:34 PM |
Ah yes, my freedom of right and speech was once again violated but oh well so be it, i can register a site and list them there.
Keep in mind that these fora are not a democracy. They are not for the people by the people , they are privately owned and operated. We are all guests of Administration and should keep that in mind. There are rules in place that must be followed to keep the forums running smoothly. Anyone who has a problem with that is free to find a site more to their liking.
If you have any complaints in future, please take them up with admin or moderation in email, or post on the suggestions forum. Such comments are off topic in sex and dating.
Pandy/moderator | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/18/2005 8:58:07 PM | No sex before marriage is one of those ideas that sounds good on paper.....and I agree with someone else....it probably didn't make any difference when people were marrying at 14 and 15......but these days , it's in a person's best interests to go to college and start a career before thinking about marriage and family. That puts the average person at around 25...way beyond the time that a normal healthy individual should have been sexually active.
I have teen daughters.....while I don't like the idea of some grubby little azzhole's hands all over them even when they're thirty, I don't encourage them to wait for marriage....I encourage them to wait for their own desires.
I have taught them to never use their sexuality to buy approval or affection, or to gain envy from peers, etc. That sex is something they should participate in when they are ready and when it means something special to them.
What "get married before you have sex" translates into in the bible belt is getting married to the first chucklehead you get the hots for and spending the rest of your life living hand to mouth because you you had kids when you were teens/early twenties and don't have the education level to command a decent paying job.
Screw that....I'd much rather my daughters did a hot fling (practising safe sex of course)when they felt the need and finished their educations before settling down so they'll have a shot at a decent future. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/18/2005 9:35:13 PM | ^^^^^ I'm 19 and I know everything so parents of teenagers i suggest yeah listen up because this might be able to help you out .
OKay people who stand on the high horse of morality are alone and will remain alone until the find out that those choices they made aren't exactly right and aren't exactly wrong but they were theirs to make . That said sexuality is one of those gray areas where it helps to have experiences to light the way . I would rather my future son or daughter know how to deal with the people are going out there in the world . I'll just tell them to be safe . I understand i don't want them to have a kid on the way at 13 hell i don't want children now thats why i use a condom .But i 'm glad i didn't wait until i got married to someone and still have to wonder what if when I'm in my thirty's . If you want to wait i wish you the best of luck but i don't agree with your choice . you're hoping and counting on the fact that all will be well when life doesn't work that way . Your wife might unfaithful , uncompatible, or unfit to raise children . There 's a lot X factors that come with celibacy and sometimes you can't figure it out without life experiences. Look religion is all well and good but sexuality shouldn't be scrutenized by someone who is biased on women ,children ,homosexuals and blacks ( ps i'm not talking about God ) | |
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