| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/28/2005 6:08:19 PM | Mad props to ya, I started out with the same ideal, but only made it to 18 years old and a lot of booze one night to pretty much sabotage that ideal 
I think you should also try to find a girl that's been saving herself, and besides there are plenty of other 'entertaining' things to do other than sex... umm like excercising your tongue  | |
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rodd26
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Joined: 7/23/2005
Msg: 102 | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/28/2005 6:23:59 PM | Thought that was your fantasy........?.........OOPS...maybe thats mine.......
OT........No sex till the hill bunny says so.............. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:11:07 PM | Original baby.............
OT.........No sex b4 nuts........... | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/24/2006 4:01:50 AM | Is it just me; or does anyone else notice that women are likened to "buying a new car/truck/appliance" on this subject of sex before marriage. What is with the test drive thing?? We are human beings with SOULS (mind, will & emotion). Any man who compares me with a lifeless object requiring a "test drive" is not worthy of my time. Even stranger..... I've never yet heard women talking about "test driving" men. When the rubber hits the road; women probably have more to worry about regarding sexual incompatibility in a man. Think about it. In any case, I applaud you jrj . You can never regret making a sound decision!  | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/24/2006 6:59:50 AM | | No sex before marriage?? ummmm NO way!! If you go ahead and get married without ever having sex beforehand I can almost guarantee that your gonna always wonder at some point if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/24/2006 11:14:56 PM | | I think it's a really bad idea, you have to find out what you are getting but I respect you for it, each to their own. | |
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gr82m8
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Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 112 | |
| No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2006 3:08:03 AM | [Does any one else agree with no sex before marriage or am I the only one who think that this is a good idea???????????????????????????? ]
This is how this forum started! No religious ideas, no judgements, just a simple question. Boy how some people can feel s threatened over a simpel question. Does it have religious connotations? Yes. Can it be just a decision based on nothing more than experience and logic? YEs. Am I a Christian? Yes. Am I religious? I try not to be. Can I have sex before marriage? Yes. DO I want to? NO. The simple reason has to do with my faith. BUt don't get your knickers in a twist TD&H. That is not the ONLY reason, just the simple one.
The related question to this is: Do you believe in marriage? If you don't, then the original question is mute. Have sex anytime, it doesn't matter.
What does marriage mean to you? Is it "just" that piece of paper or is it something that is bigger than that? The paper doesn't make the marriage, its the commitment. So the question could be restated, is it a good idea to have sex before a commitment?
Then of course, what does commitment mean to people? Very few people today believe in a commitment for life. If I am going to commit to a woman to be with her for life, wouldn't I want to be as clear minded about that as possible? BUt this is ageneration of change and upgrades. After a few years the current model is obsolete and needs to be changed and upgraded. So much for commitment! How would you feel if your "partner" decided you needed to be replaced?
A question was posed to me once. How many men would I want my wife to have slept with before marriage? Personally I would prefer as few as possible. When asked of others, men expect their women to have slept with maybe 10 or so, while women expected men to have slept with over 50! After reading through this forum, I would say the general concensus is: go for it!
On a scale of 1-10, Sex before marriage is a 12, after marriage, more like a 6. Hard to keep up that level of passion. Thats why many marriages fail after only a few years. There relationship is based on the sex. There is no foundation to the relationship. Instead of building on common dreams, goals, activities, etc which then draw a couple closer together and leads to good sex, couples today start with sex, then try to build on that, and it collapses.
Are you getting married for the sex or because you really love this person? What happens if, as you are leaving the wedding, there is an accident and your spouse can never have sex again? Are you going to divorce them or stick with them? Did you really love them or was it just for what you could get out of the relationship?
In my experience, I have seen more often than not, couples that slept together and lived together before marriage get divorced within half the time they lived together. So why would I want to follow a pattern that leads to a higher divorce rate??
I have dated women that bailed on me because I would not have sex with them. Had I had sex with them, how long would it have been before they found some other reason to bail? Actually I just recently gave up the opportunity to have mind blowing sex(as she put it). But there is a lot more to a relationship than just sex. She didn't want to wait so she found someone else.
I had premarital sex with the woman I married. My objectivity went out the window and I married her. She eventually left me. Had I not got myself so emotionally tied to her I might have clued into the fact she wasn't really what I was looking for.
Sex before marriage invokes powerful emotions, at least in people who are caring. There are those that bounce from partner to partner and have no emotional attachment at all. I've seen so many women that have been hurt because this guy played her, dated her, seduced her, then left her. After a while, sex becomes meaningless. It has no emotional involvement and is just wham bam thank you maam/sir.
There is something so powerful about sex, it ties a couple together. Its the ultimate way of saying I love you.
I was told that I can't give the ring my mom gave me to give to my wife to my next wife because it has bad Karma since it was given to a woman that divorced me. How much more valuable is my intimacy. How much bad karma does your soul develop by giving yourself away so readily and frequently.
Lets say I meet this wonderful woman, she is everything I have been hoping for. We are compatible on every level. Then we have sex. I am just not able to please her, or she doesn't please me. So, forget about the pain involved in breaking up, but we go out and meet someone else. How many people do I have to give myself to before I give myself to that "one", that "soul mate".
Why would I treat the woman I am thinking of marrying like a car, to be test drove to see if I like it? Where did this compatibility BS come from? Why does sex have to be so perfect at the beginning of a relationship? If I really love a woman I will do whatever I can to please her. She needs to talk to me and I to her. After we become "practiced" with each other we will each know how to rock each other's world! Yes, that first night will be very ... awkward, but it is only the first of many nights where we will learn about each other and grow together.
I think the most romantic and obvious way I can show a woman that I am bale to commit to her is to show her that I can wait. I;m showing her that I am making a commitment to her for reasons more than sex, more than performance, that she will be enough for me even if we can't! If I can't wait a few months for the woman I love, how am I going to avoid the "other" women out there that will come along? If I have sex with a woman that is not my wife, that I am not yet committed to, then all I've succeeded in doing is showing her that I "AM" willing to have sex with a woman that is not my wife!
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Hec, any two animals can meet, get horny and start humping each other. Takes a lot more maturity to make a commitment and show patience and delayed gratification. Good things come to those that wait!!
Check out the post above "not interested... but i was drunk one night " He hasn't even had sex with this woman and he is having emotional problems!! How much more so had they had sex??
Now,the original question was just asking if there were others out there that believed in waiting. Obviously I do. I've waited 9yrs since my divorce, I can wait a few more years if need be.
It seems I can come up with a ton of reasons, religious or not, to wait, more if I kept thinking about it. Other than getting carried away in the moment the only reason I've seen FOR having sex ahead of time is to check for compatibility. Your choice in the end.
Don't put it all on religion. Thats a pretty weak argument. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2006 3:14:01 AM | | I think it's a good idea. But to each is own and you can't force someone into sex. But it is a good idea. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2006 3:16:40 AM | | But personally, I think you should live with someone before you plan on marrying them. So, sex will come into play. How can you avoid it? It's nearly impossible. But you have to live with them first or you don't know the person you're getting involved with and you'll feel sorry about it. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2006 8:18:40 AM | | To each their own, some have strong beliefs when it comes to this and I admire that. Personally I would be petrified to wait and take the chance that I could spend eternity being sexually uncompatible or unsatisfied!! | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2006 8:27:43 AM | With myself and my ex, we did wait until we got married. As much as I respect peoples personal values and beliefs, I can say from experience that this is not the way to go. My ex is a wonderful person, but it became very evident relatively early on in our marriage that there were certain things that were just not compatible about us. Had we decided not to wait until after we were married, I have a hunch, we may not have gotten married.
To wait until after marriage buys into the belief that sex and intimacy is not an integral part of a realtionship. You are saying that it is just a secondary thing. I for one think quite the opposite. It is an essential part of a healthy relationship that needs to be explored before marriage just like anything else you would explore prior to such an important comitment! | |
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gr82m8
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Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 118 | |
| No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2006 12:28:43 PM | Well, if anything, it serves to narrow the size of holes in the net. There are a lot of fish out there, need to sort through them some how.
Even if we get carried away some night, I won't be having sex with that woman JUST to find out if we can bring each to an orgasm. How pittiful. I'll be with her because of a lot more reasons than a test drive. If thats all "she's" after, there are plenty of guys that will offer their pole.
Judgemental? Yah! Everyone is judgmental! I have to use some criteria to judge whether I want to sleep with a woman. Others use chemistry, hot bod, ambition, whatever. I'm using something else as well. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2006 12:47:01 PM | I am over 50, never married, and not likely to, as no prospects in sight.
It would be pretty foolish to abstain from all opportunities for sexual love, just because I am a bachelor. Everyone can make their own choice about this, but I have doubts about the mental stability of over the hill virgins, who think they are saving themselves for marriage.
This is another example of how religion screws up people's lives. | |
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JenGG
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Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 120 | |
| No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:50:39 PM | My late husband and I did not have sex before we were married. God forgive me for this, but he sucked in bed. I wish I knew that before we were married.
Do what you want. If you are a good person with a good character, I'm sure that whatever religion you are, your God or GODS will forgive you. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:57:10 PM | erm...if you're living your life based on a 2000+ year old book, you need to seek professional help.
that said, no...one shouldn't wait until marriage to have sex. that's about as stupid as waiting until marriage to talk, to kiss, or to touch each other. you need to know if there's chemistry there. what sort of horrible marriage would you be in if you were stuck having mediocre sex "till death do you part"? | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 11/25/2006 2:29:40 PM | | i agree brad...i respect ppls opinions but i think its a tragety to wait till marriage...im a virgin and its got zero to do with religion or virtue...im absolutly not waiting for marriage im not sure i ever plan to be married...i dont think theres anything wholesome or virtuous about virginity...especially considering the reason behind my virginity is because i am very very very very very sick...sex is an important part of life...explore it and live because once you die youre just a discarded piece of meat left to rott...live now. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 12/1/2006 7:45:49 PM | I agree with you...but people who think like us are few and far between in this day and age.
Is it just me; or does anyone else notice that women are likened to "buying a new car/truck/appliance" on this subject of sex before marriage. What is with the test drive thing?? We are human beings with SOULS (mind, will & emotion). Any man who compares me with a lifeless object requiring a "test drive" is not worthy of my time. Even stranger..... I've never yet heard women talking about "test driving" men. When the rubber hits the road; women probably have more to worry about regarding sexual incompatibility in a man. Think about it. In any case, I applaud you jrj . You can never regret making a sound decision
Exactly. | |
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Sonon
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Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 124 | |
| No sex before marriage
Posted: 12/1/2006 8:02:04 PM | What do you do when you divorce..
Give it back???
Not a bad idea but.. only hope you'll get married.. | |
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| No sex before marriage
Posted: 12/1/2006 8:04:17 PM | Works for the menonites..but then again so does only having one bath a week and once you get married you have a zillion kids.... so I dunno
One thing I have learned no sex= no drama. | |
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