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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > A "player". . . how can you detect one?      Home login  
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 fast_horses
Joined: 5/24/2006
Msg: 76
A player. . . how can you detect one? Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Even worse is being called a player and not being one.
I didn't even know exactly the definition until I looked it up and found it on askmen.com.
I mean I kind of knew but these guys are like pros. I guess everybody needs a hobby, but playing with somebody's heart is just not nice.
 Splinter
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 77
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A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 5:14:06 AM
Well you have to get to know someone a bit before you can tell they are a player. As soon as you find out they are dump them. I wouldn't only be chatting to one person. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
 SierraLeone~me
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 78
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 8:35:08 AM
Disco Daddy

You can't detect a true "Player".

You can only catch a "Player"


An applause to your reply! You are so right! A person can never detect one- they can only catch them at their game. But, their creativity as LIARS go without mention. They have "gamed" hearts of many- but, never are satisifed with ONE!
Find one out?
Sierra
 jodster90
Joined: 11/13/2005
Msg: 79
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 8:52:02 AM
My advise on how to detect a player...not that I have a clue if I'm right or not...but I had a guy play me online for a very long time and he always knew the right things to say...I fell for him hook line and sinker...I think players are very smooth and like to play on others emotions....I have no clue what kind of pleasure they are able to get from playing with others emotions or feelings...but it was my first time being played and at least now I know what to watch for...life is definately a learning experience ...we all learn from our mistakes!!!
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 80
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 8:56:17 AM
First of all, I disagree with the "player" label the same way that I disagree with the labels that men put on women "Stuck-up" "Bytch" etc.

I can only suggest that you take out the "no players" out of your profile and enjoy the game ... because based on my experiences .. it is played by both parties

Relationships are about true connections ... not something that resembles looking for an employee with the right attributes.
 digsy
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 81
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 8:56:42 AM
this is 2006, everyone is a player, not like years ago. i'm only here for kicks, i don't expect this bullshit of "the one" or this or that. Problem is no-one knows what commitment is these days,,, yes both male and female.
 icehockey_101
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 82
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 9:01:24 AM
There is no such thing as a player...They just keep hunting, and they just haven't found the right one yet ;)
 SierraLeone~me
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 83
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 9:13:14 AM

I disagree with the "player" label


You are right- the label player is incorrect. The proper label is gamer they set the rules- and gather the players to play their game. They set the rules- lay out the game board and then begin to gather their pawns.
See, it is the victims that are being played by the GAMER that sets the agenda rules.
Sierra
 PartnerInCrime72
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 84
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 9:38:57 AM
You people are so freakin' bitter and screwed up. I am MESMORIZED by you like Alice in Wonder-Freakin'-Land.

I write hard core alternative rock tunes about your lives. That's how insane you are.

The world is an ashtray - the more you cry your ashes turn to mud.

Nobody is ever going to WORSHIP you worthy of your worship. But you want exactly that. Someone to love you unconditionally from the get go, as if your mere presence made you worthy of complete self-sacrifice.

Oh, you just don't like it when "players" lie to you?

Somebody is always going to tell you things they _may not_ mean because you're forcing them to play by your silly rules. It's the same thing that you dislike. And you've never said anything that you weren't sure about?

And you admire men who are wishy-washy in how they deal with their emotions, right? Right. Sure.

Here's an example of how you set people up to maybe tell you something that's not quite true. When you say, "do I look fat?" -- or any synonymous frightened-ego-centric utterances (they are myriad) -- you are practically forcing someone to lie to you, to fabricate, to interpret the rules of the game that YOU are laying before him.

Of course, they could just tell you the truth - and that's going to get what? An "I hate rude men" thread.

Grow up people. Believe in yourselves before you go trying to find someone, or something, else to believe in. If you don't, then you are just asking to be "played". Most of the time, "being played" is just a synonymous for not knowing what the hell YOU are doing or why the hell YOU are doing it.

You are all crazy.

Get glorified.
 Man-n-d-Mirror
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 85
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A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 10:06:52 AM
I'm with u on that one
and honestly, I have been called a player... even though I've never cheated or used a woman. Mainly it IS b/c of my insecurities (due to my divorce). However, I've dated quite a few times in my life and I've learned what what many women want. I also enjoy giving that to them, b/c it makes me feel special (to make someone else feel special). To detect a player or scam artist...
1st off, make sure that honesty is the foremost condition of ur communication with the person. Use common sense and some reasoning to understand why this person may have certain hangups. And if you don't feel good about it, then don't stick around. Because in the end, if you are hurt, it is only your fault. You would be the only one suffering from it. I got played in the worst way, years after my wife proposed to me, and I bought a house, and had two children with her. I just may be insecure for the rest of my life. But I am not a liar. I stay honest, and always want to one day feel secure again. However, I have a hard time believing promises now. If you consider me a player, I do not care, because I let each woman know that I'm with, how special she is. Moreover, like I said, I am completely honest (it is the best policy). One problem I have with this game inwhich I find myself is that everyone has his or her own insecurities. For example, a woman may think that I'm too good to be true, or she might feel insecure, b/c I'm insecure. And guess what, .. she'll probably cheat or mess around. Because she's still searching for her security or she may be too scared to of how I might one day break her heart.

So my message to all of you: keep the communication going. And if you are with someone who is more than just a sex partner. Then you should be aware of where he/she is at all times anyway. Also, keep in mind... that everyone is free to change his/her mind one day (player, confused, cheater, or whatever). It happens. So just don't put so much stock into people's promises. Enjoy the time you spend together, and always let that person know you will always love him or her, and that if she/he isn't with you 20 yrs from now, then the love they say they have isn't real love, it is just infatuation. Because true love is not an emotion.
 aka Joe
Joined: 8/4/2005
Msg: 86
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A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 10:33:24 AM
Ahhhh, the player. That human equivalent of the pidgeon, nature's garbage scow waiting to poop on you and everything you hold dear. Let me help.....

The player is not easily identified as it tends to blend in with its surroundings. It is a cunning beast, moves smoothly, its seductive mating call saying all the right things seducing you into lowering your guard. However, upon closer inspection and using a strong sense of suspicion, one may detect the faint odor of selfishness and****ness. Perhaps a whiff of insecurity and mother issues mixed in. The player is a liar for it cannot tell a truth much less spell the word "truth".

Yes, the player roams the wild freely searching for its next prey since it is, at its core, a predator. It prefers the needy, the insecure, even the shallow as those make the easiest targets. Once it eyes its prey, the player smiles and strolls over in a non threatening fashion for it doesn't wish to spook its prey. Once within striking distance, the player controls the conversation listening for hints and weaknesses that it will use to render its prey defenceless. It counters your questions about its profile if it has met you online or offers tales that don't add up, however you want to believe it for the player can be convincing when necessary. It will purchase your next drink, perhaps offer dinner in a sick game of seduction.

The player knows what you want to hear and teases you with it, promising you all the things you wished for and didn't think you would find. Yes, the player is one cool customer. Its innate ability to make you comfortable enables it to close the deal and before you know it, you are home, the player having its way with you feasting on your helpless soul as you relish the attention, your mind believing all you have heard so far.

When the player is finished, it smiles in satisfaction and then looks for the nearest exit. Always on its game, it tells you it will call, that you will go out again. Then it is gone. And the call never comes.
 justthe2ofus
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 87
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 1:20:08 PM
hahah so true so true...a player will fall in love ...thats thier problem...they fall in love over n' over..and when they're already 'in love' ...a man whos a player is in love with falling in love..so they never stay around, they'd rather be out prawling lookin for the next heart to break.

My advice...the next time you have a player in your face...do what he does best....play the game right back @ him...you'll leave his ass speachless...only a player will smarten up once the bs has been played on them...hahahhaha...with out him even realizing you know what he's up to
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 88
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 1:25:23 PM

You are right- the label player is incorrect. The proper label is gamer they set the rules- and gather the players to play their game. They set the rules- lay out the game board and then begin to gather their pawns.
See, it is the victims that are being played by the GAMER that sets the agenda rules.
Sierra


I feel pretty bad here for you because you obviously have some serious trust issues that is going to hinder your ability to emotionally connect with men.
 i love canada
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 89
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 1:28:40 PM
the way this "player" is described in some of these posts is hilarious. As if he/she is not a real human with emotional needs maybe met or unmet, just like everyone else, who may have had an easy life or a hard one, who may or may not be aware of his/her behaviour.

As if they are an incredibly col and heartless psychopath.

Indeed quite funny
 MisterNiceGuy876
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 90
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 1:36:19 PM
So isn't this a catch 22 then? If you speak well with the ladies and are never at a loss for words, then you're a player. If you are the opposite, then women naturally get bored with you and look elsewhere. Is there a nice happy medium that you ladies like or what? lol
 pollyano
Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 91
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 2:27:21 PM
Most of the Players I have Know are pretty transparent. I ran with a player, in our running and gunning days we had a riot. He damn near had the word player chisled on his forehead. These women ignored the flahing red lights. People see and belive what they want to. Why do these women go for it? My best guess is they want what other women have already experienced and don't want to be left out. when it goes badly and it usually does, They wonder why. Maybe they thought they would be the tammer. As far as this particular player goes he was tall and handsome virle, oozed sexuality and had great charisma. He never passed a mirror or storefront window, that he didn't check in to say hello to himself. Observing all of this while I was somewhat envious of his oppertunity's because he had so many, I could'nt help feeling sad for him because he believed every word and action he gave to the ladies at the time. He threw away a lot of people. Could be fear of abandonment, real intamcy or somebody better is just around the corner. Players have feelings too.

Any man will tell you he gets more attention being married or with a girlfriend than when he is single. I think it is the Wow Power factor a woman needs to know through flirting that she could have that man. She really doesn't have a desire for sex with this otherwise committed man but wants confimation from the man that he is interested. It's even better if the wife or girlfriend witnesses this. Women competing. So I guess it works both ways.


A friend of mine has a vette , when he takes it out for a spin he gets no attention. If his girlfriend is riding with him a pack of Fee males will pull up next to them at a light and lift their tops for him. He is not really a player but he said it was a pretty uncomfortable ride home with the girlfriend. She wants him to sell the car.
 SierraLeone~me
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 92
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 2:30:58 PM
Run with a gamer - then you will see! As far as dealing with other relationships- not a problem at all. Sent my baggage via his mail route.
Sierra
 Wild Heart
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 93
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 6/7/2006 7:01:22 PM
lol@thejoeshow.

Sounded like an episode of animal kingdom. Can just hear the narrator....
 DivineJustice444
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 94
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A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 3/30/2012 7:40:42 PM
I got one. He is all over dating sites. I never intend to date but learn. Chatting can be nice.




Shirtless. Grandiose. Too Good to be True. Says Ask for many of the Profile Questions. Early twenties but claims like 5 years or above of his/her longest relationship. Compliments allot. Flashes Money. Bars/Hotels. He/she wil call you, he/she calls not you.
On chat on a regular basis. Does not have facebook or Twitter. Calls you Hun or Sweetheart. Forgets your name. All flash and no substance. Ego. likes you to Chase!

Many more clues.............................

Take care,

go out and kick some A$$
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 95
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 4/1/2012 5:47:22 PM
A player/or playette will never admit to being one. =)
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 96
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 4/1/2012 6:33:41 PM
when folks start playing head games, their words aren't matchin up with their actions, they aren't easy to get in touch with, etc...



but a great player - you won't know you've been played till after the other person stops playing and has left the dance !! lol
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 97
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 4/1/2012 7:04:05 PM
They are the ones with the numbers on their jerseys.

 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 98
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 4/1/2012 7:27:25 PM
Frankly, most of the the self proclaimed "players" out there, and the ones who certain women claim are "players", are actually some of the biggest, most obvious losers I've ever encountered. That's why I laugh when anyone describes anyone else as a "player".

Much like people with class never using the word "classy", people who easily and consistently win the affection of the opposite sex never use the word "player".
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 99
A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 4/1/2012 10:33:50 PM
Until I am married I will do what I want, I dont live with a man, no man pays my bills, no ring on my finger..So until I do find that one I'll do as I please. Im sure you probably heard the same thing.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 100
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A player. . . how can you detect one?
Posted: 4/1/2012 11:17:13 PM
You would never spot a good player. No matter how much some women post that they can smell a player out.. They cant do it, A good player knows the game. The reason he plays is cause the women do like a guy that has game. It don't mean the all women like a player but many do even if some wont admit it. Plenty of women love to play the game as well. Guys would trip over them selves likes puppies chasing them.. But you can always stay at home and never go out to stay safe.
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