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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ~§~
Joined: 10/3/2009
Msg: 26
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much? Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Which makes me to say to *squiggle* I did not read all of your 2nd post. You seem to have an agenda about mom's that have to work.

You should have.
There's more information in there than you've gleaned... especially at the end.
Its not bad

I feel terribly sorry for mothers in that end of the world that have to return to work and dont have the opportunity to stay home and be and enjoy everything about parenting and their children that they can.
Its a sh*tload of work... but you do it for love... of your children.
Other people ... wont.
Thats the bottom line.

Its why you WILL fly to another country to help out your baby and why that woman WONT tolerate your grandbaby crying.

For those that elect the situation... like Ive said... little empathy.
So yes... you're correct in my opinion of those that make the choice to return to work when their children need them more than a job.
I dont disagree at all with you on that.


It is not about renegotiating a contract. My daughter gave her needs and expectations and the provider was found lacking and unprofessional. She is looking for an alternative source of care and will be leaving this provider.

Im just showing you that what you consider unprofessional and lacking... is infact her right as a business to draw a line on.
Regardless of whether you agree.

Read my 2nd post again. All of it.
And advise your daughter wisely.
Thats what "moms" do as opposed to those that dont care.

 Arpeggia
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 27
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 4/13/2010 7:11:06 PM
Ummm you have some of the facts wrong.

Perhaps my daughter should have stepped up but when told she could not keep the baby "because she is too tired". What was the point? That is where things stem from.. basically the provider is creating reasons to wiggle out of this contract and there is no need to force the issue. I am hoping that my daughter will force her to reimburse the "placement holding" monies that she gave in good faith for a position the woman had no intention of keeping. Sounds like a really good scam to me..

Like I said I am not debating this.. I was looking for advice what to tell my daughter and there are clear reasons for dropping this woman as a provider. There were also other issues that did not concern my daughter as to what she witnessed and although the provider had a good resume it does not mean that others have not said what they found for the same fears my daughter has expressed ie: that she will be ostracized by other care providers.

Arpeggia
 ~§~
Joined: 10/3/2009
Msg: 28
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 4/13/2010 7:47:19 PM
Ummm you have some of the facts wrong.

Im impartial to this.
I took the facts.
I sympathize but dont agree.

Forumites will soothe the wounds and on principle I agree... I agree with you on moral standpoint... do I think for one moment you will "win" ... nope.
You've got zero chance if your posts have provided... the facts.

Perhaps my daughter should have stepped up

She HAS stepped up... she's doing what she has to do...
Im saying... dont make it worse

but when told she could not keep the baby "because she is too tired". What was the point?

Ive already said... the caregiver has an absolute right not to want to continue with the
contract per se.
The sickness of your grandbaby changed the agreement. Your daughter changed the agreement.
Facts are there.
Its not her fault that she doesnt agree to it.
She's tired.
When was your daughters life more important than hers?
When was your daughters life more important than her business and emotional upheaval?
She wants clients (babies) that revolved around HER.
Business. You still dont "get it"

That is where things stem from.. basically the provider is creating reasons to wiggle out of this contract and there is no need to force the issue. I am hoping that my daughter will force her to reimburse the "placement holding" monies that she gave in good faith for a position the woman had no intention of keeping. Sounds like a really good scam to me..

Creating reasons? the facts support her (again I might point out)
No scam.
She's doing her job.
She has a business to run.
She doesnt agree to the "changes" the illness of your grandbaby forced upon her.
Your grandbaby and your daughter have broken the contract.
Intentionally or not.

She given up every other kid in her care and doesnt have any income at all?
I doubt it.

You just want to blame her.
She's entitled to the monies... business remember? as opposed to "Mom" and people who care.

There were also other issues that did not concern my daughter as to what she witnessed and although the provider had a good resume it does not mean that others have not said what they found for the same fears my daughter has expressed ie: that she will be ostracized by other care providers.

Wisdom... hmm...
Obviously anything that Ive said hasnt been comprehended muchless taken in.
Im sorry you feel or look at it that way.

IF I was the caretaker...
Not only would you have to worry about me not b*tching about our contract that didnt just not work out and causing more stress than either you or I needed... not only would you have to worry about finding another provider and recompense...
... but you'd have to worry about... me coming after you... my defamation suit of your complaint and monetary.
How'd your daughter cope with that?
Ontop of a sick baby
Ontop of finding a new and continual provider

Last post for me.
Ive said multiple times now... advise her wisely.
I doubt that you will from what you've said.

Sometimes... sh*t happens... and there's no-one to blame.

Good luck anyway.
 Arpeggia
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 29
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 4/14/2010 4:50:13 AM
Again I did not read your post.. I got to the part about the sick baby and knew you had not read my posts. The doctor said the baby is healthy. There is no sick baby.

Have a great day.
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 30
view profile
History
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 4/14/2010 5:11:10 AM
Apparently the post above yours OP is referring to the acid reflux the baby may have. That is not considered an illness. My first child was extra fussy and threw up a lot but he wasn't considered to be unhealthy by his doctor. It's a common thing for newborns.

Her post is just about you or your daughter not having a case against the care provider. I'm not sure if you do or not but if it was me I would want someone more compassionate caring for my infant child.

Good luck!
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 31
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 4/14/2010 7:35:29 AM
I'm going to have to agree with the squiggle on this one.

This caretaker has no obligation to care for a child with much greater than average needs. She has a business to run and other children in her care that are just as important as your grandchild. Why would you expect her to take the place of a caring relative and devote much more time and energy during the shift to one child while leaving the rest out?

If the child cries for even half of the shift, that's 4 and a half hours holding and trying to comfort a crying baby to the detriment of the well-being of all the others. She is not the parent, and is under no obligation to care for the child if she doesn't want to.

Your daughter will not only have to look for other arrangements but she should also be more realistic in her views of the caretaker. Why is there an expectation that this woman should love/care for/put up with this child to her own detriment?
 Arpeggia
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 32
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 4/14/2010 6:40:43 PM
I do think it is telling that the baby cried more at the providers then at home but .. lets see.. new environment, new schedule at sitters, new schedule again at sitters and a week in, the provider is ready to throw in the towel on watching the child?

This thread really was not about reporting her but, how do I support my daughter and give her the right advice on how to deal with this person? The provider is no longer wanted as she is not behaving in a knowledgeable and professional manner. My daughter is making other arraignments for her child.

Arpeggia
 MysticalM
Joined: 1/19/2009
Msg: 33
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 4/14/2010 7:21:01 PM
Some very good advice on here regarding the provider and the crying.

I only want to add a thought re: the vomitting after feeding. My youngest went through this too due to the valve at the top of the stomach where the esophagus connects not being fully grown. My pediatrician had me put her to sleep in her car seat (semi-prone) so that she was not laying down flat and voila! The vomitting stopped. She slept like that for the first few months and after that she was fine.

Kind of off topic and I hope the mods will forgive me, but it may help.

Good luck with everything... sounds like you are a great grandmother!


 Arpeggia
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 34
*** UPDATE***Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 4/22/2010 7:10:31 PM
Hi all.. just wanted to update..

Child care provider would not come to the door 2 days in a row when daughter went to drop her baby off.

My daughters commanding officer and first shirt (Sgt.) (yes she is military) are now involved and are calling for a formal complaint and are investigating the situation in regards to the provider and are requesting her advance payments be refunded.

Baby went to work with mom today for a few hours until dad could come for her as per the first shirt and col orders until the situation can be resolved. My daughters Sgt. will go tomorrow to claim the toys and personal items that have been left at the old care providers. He does not want my daughter to deal with the woman any more.

Best news... a new care provider has been found! Where the baby instantly cried with the old care provider, she cooed and giggled with the new. Instant love. lol *who says it does not happen?* We all know things happen for a reason.. right?

Thanks for the advice that everyone has given.

Arpeggia
 FinkyIsMyName
Joined: 3/5/2010
Msg: 35
*** UPDATE***Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 4/23/2010 7:02:09 PM
That is great news, Arpeggia! I'm sure you can rest easier now that your grandbaby has found a bettercaregiver, and I'm glad that nasty old hag is being formally investigated.

Sounds like your daughter now has some clout on her side to make things go more smoothly, too. That's always a plus!

Yay.
 Arpeggia
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 36
*** UPDATE***Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 4/24/2010 11:55:54 AM
Thanks Finky..(love the new nick but you don't seem to really be a Finky. lol)

She has had tremendous support through her co-workers and superiors. Thank goodness the baby will go to a new provider on Monday.

Arpeggia
 EVROCKS
Joined: 1/22/2010
Msg: 37
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 4/25/2010 1:36:27 PM
Google "high needs baby". My first cried all the time, either from gas/reflux pain, teething pain, too stimulated, under-stimulated, etc. If the wind blew and he didn't like it...he would cry. They are highly sensitive to everything around them. She is probably bailing because she realizes this is not normal. Babies will cry, but some MUCH more than others. What worked for my son was taking walks everyday. I lost my baby weight from those walks! High needs babies end up very intelligent kids/adults. They are constantly observing, more aware than other babies. They don't sleep as much... look it up and see if it fits. Unfortunately, they really have to outgrow it, and the best place for them is with mom...or someone that can watch the baby with no other children in her care.
 Arpeggia
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 38
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 4/25/2010 6:48:53 PM
Hi evrocks,
Thanks for the suggestion...
I don't think that she is a high needs baby really.. and I know what those are! Her mother was one! She was a premie with an under developed nervous system.

I think Tuesday (not Monday as I said before) will be the tell all with the new caregiver. I think that is the day she starts. Evidently at the interview the new care provider held her and was shown nothing but smiles, giggles and coo's. Which she never did with the old one. We shall see.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 39
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 5/3/2010 6:12:41 AM
Is there any way your daughter can be a stay at home mother?
At least until the baby has grown a little?
I understand she has a commitment to the air force, but the child is a commitment also, im not all too familiar with how the military works, but can she not opt out in favor of caring for her child? Honestly i never understood why military people bothered having kids while on duty, as they have to move around all the time and upheave everything at the drop of a hat and have a huge commitment to ther military and country, thus leaving little commitment to offer a child. Im not against military, my Grandfather was a marine that fought front lines in WW2 and Korea, but he started a family after he was out of the military, and did not have to be shipped off to Asia to shoot people anymore.

Is she married or single? Is there a husband/boyfriend/babydaddy that can provide food onthe table while she cares for the infant?
 torquoise pixie
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 40
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 5/3/2010 8:39:53 AM
The whole problem is with sticking 8 week old babies into child care. Then coming onto POF forums and pretending not to know why they cry or what the fvck is wrong with the very idea of it! Jesus dont you get that they cry because they need to be with their mother? Your daughter's problem is not the child provider, it is the fact she got a baby and did not think of what the baby needs. And anybody who would utter to me
she cries too much and is too needy and I can't stand to hear a baby scream!
would not be allowed to go anywhere near my baby let alone be responsible for her for several hours a day!!!!!!!!!!
Geeeeeeeesh!!!!! And okay, if she HAS to go into a childcare, and there is absolutely no other way, then dont you get that this baby cries precisely because she is not just with her mother, but with a person who cant stand it?????? I would cry too!!!!
 midlandtom
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 41
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History
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 5/3/2010 4:33:39 PM
The above post^^^^^^^^^^
What F***? Our baby is about the same age as the Op's grandchild. babies don't cry because they need to be with a mommy. They are o.k. to get their needs meet by other people. Period. O.k. the breast-feeding is a mommy's duty but diapers and enterntainment can be handled by other folks. As a father I don't belive our baby-boy cares to mucth who changes his diaper. I don't get any indication that he is more unhappy when daddy or nana do it vesrsus mama.
 smartypants24
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 42
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 5/3/2010 5:28:14 PM
And, in a society where most homes REQUIRE two incomes just to make ends meet, its simply not possible to get by with a stay-at-home-parent...does that mean that people shouldn't have children? No, it means that they need some help (in the form of a care provider of some sort, be it daycare, nanny, grandparents etc).

Children who receive "other care" ie cared for by persons other than their mother, during their formative years are just as well adjusted as children of stay-at-home-parents, as midlandtom said, its not about WHO gives the care, its about the quality of the care that a child receives that makes the big difference.
 Arpeggia
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 43
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 5/3/2010 5:59:34 PM
And the post lives on... lol

To update the post..

Baby is with a new home care provider and barely cries at all now.

A formal complaint has been filed against the old care provider.

Baby is breast fed except when she is fed breast milk via a bottle.

Contrary to popular belief babies can sometimes come into the world despite the best laid plans.

Tom is correct! My grand daughter does not care who changes her diaper either!

Sweetnessinlove...Her daddy dotes on her but, was out of country when this happened. The idea of "opting out" was kicked around but it would be a financial hardship for my daughter to leave her post. Which is part of my next statement....

There is no reason for daughter to leave her career and contrary to popular belief, the military makes efforts to keep families together and in a static situation. It is very unlikely that my daughter or her family will be uprooted due to her military situation.

Torquoise Pixie.. Thank you for being such a helpful ray of sunshine!

Thanks again Everyone!

Arpeggia
 imalitltpot
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 44
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 5/4/2010 6:15:10 AM
Another thing to check is for lactose intolerance. My niece was a cryer for months until they found out she was lactose intolerant. Once they were able to treat that, she was a happy happy breast-fed girl. She's now a happy healthy 15-year-old and still lactose intolerant, but they stock up on lactose pills and she can consume any dairy product she wants.

Sounds like things are going much better - congrats!
 Arpeggia
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 45
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 5/4/2010 7:22:33 AM
Smartypants.. Sorry I missed your post but thank you for your insight! I was one of the last generations to be able to stay home with the kids and do the June Cleaver thing even though at that time it was rare to find other stay home moms. I feel so bad for my daughter and other moms/dads that miss out on a lot of firsts because of needing to return to work just to survive. My daughter only had the luxury of 6 weeks off and one week of personal time.

imalitltpot, the lactose intolerance was the first thing we thought of as it seems to be a family trait along with all other things that end in "ose". (maltose, galactose...) The doctor does not think it is the case. The main thing is the baby is happy with the new care provider and life is running much smoother!

Arpeggia
 torquoise pixie
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 46
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 5/5/2010 12:21:29 PM

babies don't cry because they need to be with a mommy. They are o.k. to get their needs meet by other people. Period.

Tell it to the crying baby. See if she will stop crying.

As a father I don't belive our baby-boy cares to mucth who changes his diaper. I don't get any indication that he is more unhappy when daddy or nana do it vesrsus mama.

If you need to twist my words to be able to dismiss them, go ahead. What I am saying is that 7 week old baby needs to be with their primary care giver which is usually the mother. As opposed to in childcare. I am comparing childcare vs mother, not mother vs father vs nanna.
What I am also saying is that if the baby must be in childcare, it certainly should be with someone who does not lose it when the baby cries. No, Tom is not correct, they baby does care who is around them, not the way Tom puts it, but the way - am i loved.
 Arpeggia
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 47
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 5/6/2010 8:10:41 PM
I guess the proof in the pudding is that with the switch in care providers that baby stopped crying....
 Arpeggia
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 48
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 5/22/2010 5:15:33 PM
Hey all.. I just wanted to update you..

The grand daughter seems to love her new provider.. She cries when she has to leave her house now. lol Daughter gets on well with her.. It seems to be one of those "things happen for a reason" situation.

Dirt has rolled down from the top now about the original daycare provider and my daughter has engaged legal council. Please wish her well.

Arpeggia
 HeyAce
Joined: 5/30/2010
Msg: 49
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 6/4/2010 10:46:21 PM
Run from this one. Whomever recommended her should be shot. Any provider who tells you they can't stand a baby crying is very hard to hear for me. I would also wonder if the woman has been taking proper care of this child.

Seeing as I believe your grand-daughter needs quite a lot of time with a sitter as your daughter is in the Air Force, you should find someone who doesn't have a bunch of other kids to manage...if I knew your daughter/family...I would gladly take care of her. Is it a possibility to get a relative to care for the little girl in question??
 justbunky
Joined: 4/3/2009
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Child care provider cant watch baby because she cries too much?
Posted: 11/21/2010 4:21:57 PM
well, this post is late, but how are things going? OP, you sound like a wonderful grandmother. It's not nosy, it's caring.

All babies vomit...is it projectile or excessive? Have her monitored for the possibility of autism or similar disorders. It can make babies excessively sensitive to stimuli like noise, light, temperature, even being touched. It is also very much associated with major digestive disorders including issues with gluten (from wheat and other grains) and casein (milk protein). Many peds don't catch this. Check her formula or mother's diet if nursing.

Unlike some posters, I do believe in pacifiers if used appropriately and weaned reasonably early. Sometimes babies really need to suck to soothe themselves, especially when alone in a crib, which she invariably will be in day care.

Many active-duty military have stay-at-home spouses. Some of them - with or without kids - will happily trade support or babysit on a paid basis, as money can be tight, esp. for the younger enlistees. I too did a stint in the Air Force, and after my divorce, these women were my salvation! 20+ years later, some of us still get together every year or so.

Hope everyone is doing better!
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