gtg562
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Joined: 8/25/2005
Msg: 51 | |
| On having affairs....
Posted: 12/26/2006 4:40:10 AM | | Nope... I dont think anybody should cheat... Dont matter if your married or not..Their is alot of diff. things out here today to get your sex life going agian.. And isnt it hard enough to keep one woman happy not alone two... | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 12/26/2006 6:30:54 AM | i have a story from two perspectives. First my first wife cheated on me . it broke my heart because I loved her deeply. I left me with two lessons though. It showed me what the pain of cheating really felt like so ever since I've never been able to cheat on a woman. If i'm dating and going to still see others i have to be up front so the woman has a right to decide if she wants to continue to see me.Second it it made me work ebven hard to make my scond marriage work. 39 years i tried . Unfortunately alcohol is a stronger love at times for some.
the secomd perspective comes when i met a woman who was wonderful, sweet and loving who was having ab affair with a married man because she was so lonely she felt it was all she would ever be good for. her self esteem was so low she felt this was all she was good for. even after we we dating she was still telling this man he wqs the best man she had ever known. When i found one it crushed me. It took me a lon time to get over it. its also taken me alongg time to show her she was better than that and deserved a man to Love just her. And affair can do more damage that you can imagine because once you cross over that line it becomes easier to cross again and again. On top of that once you've shown a married man you're willing to keep secrets he'll keep coming back again and again . Then the chances of a new clean relationship are sabotaged even before it begins. Affairs are slippery things and worth avoiding. If your relationship is bad either fix it, or get out and move on. | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 12/26/2006 2:26:54 PM | I'm divorced because my ex cheated on me! She could have pretty much done whatever she wanted and I loved her enough to look the other way. But, when you go out and have sex with other men because you need warm strokes and put your own life in jeapardy as well as mine, you obviously don't give a shit about the outcome anyway.
You reap what you sow gang!!!! | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 12/29/2006 9:42:43 PM | | An affairs NEVER okay, though some situations might be a grace factor to the affair. I personally, would have to understand what happened. If she and I are just dating, she would more than likely be looking for a new man. If I am married, I would work on it if she was. | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:12:16 AM | | As far as I'm concerned cheating is the one unforgivable sin. If a person is that unhappy in their marriage they should end it first. | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 12/30/2006 9:29:00 AM | Irish 4you
That is a very charitable outlook, because cheating is a symptom of a problem in a relationship. There is something one or the other is not getting from the union. So being able to say you would want her to stay and you would forgive her is an act of love.
And if both parties were willing to put in the work to remember why they married and loved each other, they may stand a chance. But I think the one being cheated on, would have a very hard time trusting the cheater again. Maybe through counseling they could reach that point.
I have never been cheated on, (I dont think) but I dont know if I could trust that person again. My feelings are if someone is thinking about cheating, and they would do that to the person they are with. They do not care enough about the relationship and should get out of it, before they look elsewhere. Because in the cheating they are creating another problem to add on to the one they are already living.
So you should clean up your life , whether it be fix the marriage, or leave it. Before you go out and begin a new one. | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 1/15/2007 1:03:34 PM | Yeah, I agree .. cheating is never ok.
My husband & I were talking last night, & he said marriage was created when we only lived to the age of 30. Are we suppose to be with someone 70 years? I still believe in the power of love, & believe it can continue to grow .. forever.
Cheating will only create mistrust. I was cheated on in my 20's, by someone I loved with all my heart. I never thought of myself as a mistrusting person, but having this done to me, almost totally destroyed my trust with other guys years to come. This person had no idea of what this had done to me, & would always say, it was only sex. I ended it with him, but over the last couple of years .. contacted him again. He has cheated on his wife, one long term, & once .. a kiss in a bar, but says he was drunk so that one didn't count. This person never did learn. To teach him when we were younger, while he was away .. working the summer up in Timmons, I pretended for about 10 minutes on the phone, that I had cheated on him. It was a totally different ballgame. How could you have done this to me .. I thought that would be the only way, to make him stop cheating & to finally understand the pain he put me through. Didn't happen. .. I think once a cheater, most likely always a cheater. The sad thing is, I almost cheated on my family, with him. Scary, but I think feeling alone, can push someone to do something so bad & so low.
Also, there are still actually people out there, that feel that the person that is cheating .. but cheating with them would never do that to them, because it's different. They are so in love with me, that if they did leave their spouse .. it would never happen to them, that the cheater would never cheat on them. So wrong. How could you ever completely trust someone, that cheated on their spouse with you. If they did it with you, they will do it to you. Trust me. | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 1/17/2007 2:06:35 PM | I'm sure I'm going to get beat up for this, but here goes.
I've been married for 28 years, and we went steady for 2 years before we were married. Started dating in high school. To date, we've never had an argument or a disagreement that we went to bed angry over. It's been truely a great union. I do love her, and I believe she loves me. I beleive she has been faithful to me (I guess one is never really sure though), but I have not been a faithful husband. I've been with different women over the years, usually a distance away from home. These other women new up front, that I was married, had no intentions of leaving my family, and that this was just for the excitement of getting some strange. If nothing else, I'm honest. You'd never know it by the postings in here, but there are a lot of other men and women that feel the same way. Getting a divorce because your spouse has strayed, is in my opinion, stupid. Talk about ruining lives. If the best advice you can give to someone thats thinking about an affair is "get a divorce, and so you don't screw up anyone elses life but your own" then you should keep quiet. | |
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| too bad
Posted: 1/17/2007 3:07:53 PM | | too bad with a body like that someone could have had a good time | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 1/17/2007 4:01:47 PM | Hey big wolf,
All I want to know is, does your wife know you have been out getting some strange? Sounds like your having your cake and eating it to. Sounds good to me. Where do I sign up. Oh and by the way, I hope you have the number to your local clinic for when your wife ends up with some STD that you gave her.
Maybe your wife is also out getting some and keeping it quiet like you. Hence the reason for never having a argument.
I know you have some cheese for my whine but truth be told if you found out she was getting some before you, you'd be pissed! | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 1/18/2007 7:07:04 AM | Jaime - I can see you disagree with my actions, thanks for not trashing me. To answer your question, no she does not know, at least I don't think she does, I've never asked! As for the STD's, I'm very careful. I don't just fall into bed with every woman that's willing. It takes several meets to get to know each other before any thing physical happens.
Maybe she is getting some strange. I don't know, and I'm not asking that either! However, if she is, it's obviously not hurting me, so what would be the problem?
I don't go out of town every weekend looking for sex. I do this twice a year. I've found the anticipation to be part of the erotica. | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 1/25/2007 3:33:49 PM | Wolf,
It's not personal with me man. I'm not part of your family. Let me ask you something? What if she does know, But, would never say anything to you because of the love she has for you? When the two of you married and she said "for better or for worse", she just goes along with it because she wants to be a good wife and not lose the best thing that ever happened to her? What if when your gone and screwing around her heart is being ripped out of her chest wondering when and if your coming home. Hoping and praying that this other woman doesn't sway your mind to leave her?
I wouldn't want that on my head!
Is the other p*&^y that good? Good luck man! | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 1/25/2007 4:41:14 PM | I dont' think an affair is okay. On the other hand I think people need to wake up and start talking to each other and find out what they really need out of a relationship. I know I am young but in my expiriences I have realized that a completely honest communication of what you need is the best way to go. I am in a 5 year relationship now that was really shaky at first but once we got everything out in the open it made it so much better. we have an open relationship now and I can tell you right now that we have never been happier. maybe you all can't deal with an open relationship but it avoids a lot of problems. it may cause them too if you aren't open minded enough but we all need to realize human nature and the way people really are.... | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 1/25/2007 8:36:52 PM | starlajade,
you know I was gonna say something but, my mother taught me that unless I have something constructive to say, shut my mouth! Thats it for me on this subject! | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 1/29/2007 7:26:49 PM | Sure it can sometimes be ok to have an affair. The contrary views expressed here are sincere, I am sure, but disproportionately negative.
A majority of marriages have at least one partner in an affair at one time or another. It just is not the kind of things people want to admit to, because of the stigma attached.
Those who say if you aren't happy in your marriage you should walk away and then start a new relationship, seem to suggest that sex is the central and overriding component of every marriage. In fact, people stay together for all kinds of reasons. A couple can get along fine outside the bedroom, and be great in raising their kids, maintaining a household, and sharing the responsibilities and benefits of life, including financial needs, home making, etc.
If the two are not sexually compatible that may not be sufficient reason to rip apart an otherwise good relationship. In fact, an extramarital affair might relieve the stress and strain between them and make for a more happy and stable marriage.
Assuming you have tried in vain to improve intimacy in your marriage, you should not be forced to choose between a life with no sexual satisfaction and a life without your family. It is not right to betray your obligations to your partner and your kids, rush to your attorney for a divorce petition, and then out shopping for a new partner. An affair can often be the best option for all concerned. Discretion is always called for. It is wrong and unkind to tell, when that only causes only pain.
Perhaps the truth can sometimes get out anyway and that is too bad. However, most affairs remain secret and that is good for both parties and for the kids. Many individuals who refuse to look the other way, and walk away from a partner who had an affair, tearing apart an otherwise good marriage, live many lonely years to regret their hasty judgement. | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 2/6/2007 3:33:27 PM | veratus,
now do me a favor and let your wife read what you just wrote or posted and let her post her opinion. I think this might be interesting! I also have a question for you? This is not personal! Do you honestly believe in your heart the crap you just wrote? You look to me as though your in some kind of sales or maybe an attorney. Very articulately written. Thank God I'm not your client or your wife... | |
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Girl-2
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Joined: 1/22/2007
Msg: 68 | |
| On having affairs....
Posted: 2/9/2007 11:32:30 AM | Veratus - - You're the type of "thing" that gives the rest of the "good" guys out there a bad name. Men and women want true love and singular intimacy....just look at all the people on POF itself in search of it.
You should be ashamed of yourself. Why write "Discretion is always called for" if you believe it is ok to cheat on your wife. Why not be open and tell her, and give her opportunity to do the same. Or are you the type who wants his cake and eat it two? You at least owe it to her, especially if you bring back a disease. I've known men like you to sleep around and not have the balls to tell their wives that they contracted a disease and now the wife is suffering from your "discretion"!
Woman don't find you attractive at all. Because once a cheater always a cheater!!
Go crawl back under the rock from which you came you snake!! | |
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Girl-2
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Joined: 1/22/2007
Msg: 69 | |
| On having affairs....
Posted: 2/9/2007 11:33:24 AM | Veratus - - You're the type of "thing" that gives the rest of the "good" guys out there a bad name. Men and women want true love and singular intimacy....just look at all the people on POF itself in search of it.
You should be ashamed of yourself. Why write "Discretion is always called for" if you believe it is ok to cheat on your wife. Why not be open and tell her, and give her opportunity to do the same. Or are you the type who wants his cake and eat it too? You at least owe it to her, especially if you bring back a disease. I've known men like you to sleep around and not have the balls to tell their wives that they contracted a disease and now the wife is suffering from your "discretion"!
Woman don't find you attractive at all. Because once a cheater always a cheater!!
Go crawl back under the rock from which you came you snake!! | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 2/9/2007 4:08:37 PM | "sexy latin lady"
Why do you say, "but you must let go totally"
if it were that easy, no one would care. It's like saying, "I know that you are dying of AIDS, but you must heal yourself promptly" | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 2/9/2007 4:20:12 PM | Veratus - is most definitely a coward - afraid to face up to his responsibilities, and of that I do mean.
I wish I had his wife's email address so that I can secretly email the poor woman his soon to be HIV infested face back to her, and then laugh while watching his pitiful****post here on this forum about how sorry he is, and what now to do to crawl back to his wife apologizing.
Why don't you just keep the stiffie in your pants, you f!cked up Man-Whore? Or better yet, you have a hand, why not relieve yourself - you nasty piece of work?
I think that you and your****are both suffering from low-self esteem but who am I to say anything?
Anyway, that felt good to say!
Tee hee! | |
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| On having affairs....
Posted: 2/9/2007 6:49:21 PM | dincher, Girl-2,
Wow! Thank you for sticking up for the lady side of this post. I was wondering where you all were..! I thought to myself that no respectable woman that has any kind of moral upbringing would agree with that guy! Good for both of you! | |
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GH63
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Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 73 | |
| On having affairs....
Posted: 4/25/2007 5:15:37 AM | [Perhaps the truth can sometimes get out anyway and that is too bad. However, most affairs remain secret and that is good for both parties and for the kids. Many individuals who refuse to look the other way, and walk away from a partner who had an affair, tearing apart an otherwise good marriage, live many lonely years to regret their hasty judgement. ]
I have read all of the negative replys to this and I have to say no one knows how it is to be in this kind of relationship til you have been there. I just came out of a 12 year marriage because my hubby kept trying to cheat on me even though he was the one who couldn't perform in the bedroom very well. I got tired of it and went out and got some strange and left him. Now I wished I had stayed with my husband and just kept the affair to myself because it ended after my divorce. I miss my hubby and all I gave up to be with the new "stud". So if you've never been there don't be so quick to judge. This man seems to know something that I do but no one gets his point. I am not saying its good to have an affair but you never know whats going on until you have been in the situation yourself. | |
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