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 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 23
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First date and awkward moments?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I barely dated in high school and on the rare occasions I did, it was painfully awkward. Then I plunged into the dating pool in my 50s. At first it was awkward but then I met an incredible college student who became my dating coach. I learned to lighten up about the whole thing. I have a natural curiosity about people and I've learned to let it out. I've also had an uncommon life so if I'm with someone really boring or someone who refuses to hold up their end of the conversation, I've got a lot of stories to tell. I limit first meetings to an hour so even if they are a total bore, I can put up with anyone for an hour unless they are a real jerk. (I did call off one first meeting after 20 minutes because things were going that badly. The feeling was mutual.)

So, I don't have those awkward moments any more. It's gotten easy for me to find questions to ask people that will get them telling about themselves. However, I will not go back for a second try if I find someone an uninteresting conversation partner. My experience is that if they bore me the first time, it's just going to get more so after that. A guy who talks about his hair, his lawn, and the interview to be manager for a janitor service, and thinks that's interesting conversation, just isn't going to be a good match for me. (I'm not making this up.) A guy who talks about living in India and now training businessmen about Indian culture before they go work there, or urban planning, or my kind of music, or dancing, or language, or culture, or science, or . . . etc., etc. is going to be a lot more interesting to me. I've got a wide variety of interests so there's lot of places the conversation can go that I can enjoy, as long as he's lively and interesting. I've developed a pretty good sense of who is the kind of person I want to continue having a conversation with and who is not. I can figure this out pretty quickly, not just in dating situations but in general social situations. I trust my intuition on this one. It's usually pretty good.
 L2hot4tv
Joined: 9/6/2010
Msg: 24
First date and awkward moments?
Posted: 10/20/2010 6:11:58 AM
If you met online then it's normal. Meeting online makes it a bit more difficult for the first date IMO. As stated before, if you had fun go for it again.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 25
First date and awkward moments?
Posted: 10/20/2010 8:51:11 AM
if it's just a couple/few awkward quiet moments when meeting face to face, it might be just that neither one of you are accustomed to dating, or are shy, or just not in the mood for small talk at that time... maybe make a second date with some activity involved - that way you can have some casual conversation gradually getting to know eachother without the pressure of scrutiny or to keep things interesting...

maybe bowling/making something (a cooking class/pottery/woodworking/etc)/learning something new...etc etc etc.
 foreverstacey
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 26
First date and awkward moments?
Posted: 10/20/2010 5:12:31 PM
AWKWARD silences.. if theres a lot of them, then yeah I won't go on a second date. I feel a need to have good conversation flow on dates. I have had silences on first dates that werent awkward at all (for me at least) .. I like that, where you can still feel comfortale enough when just meeting someone to just let things sink in.
 MisterDynomite
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 27
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First date and awkward moments?
Posted: 10/20/2010 5:22:14 PM

Have you ever had first dates where there were a few awkward moments, e.g. brief silence when both run of of things to talk about, and the body language displayed by your date? By "a few" I mean maybe 4-5 different times. Would you pass it off as just initial dating awkwardness and arrange for date #2? Or would you forget about it and move on, thinking, if we're this awkward now what's it going to be like on date no. 2?


Yep. I don't think i've ever been on a date where this hasn't happened at some point.

Usually if it happens either two things follow :

1) Either myself or my date makes an effort to keep the conversation going and we are back on track.

2) The silence gets broken with "Oh my.. look at the time... i really should get going" (when they do this, i don't ask why or struggle to keep them around and I don't ask for a number or a second date. If the fishie wants to swim away.. Bon voyage!... send in the next date.)



 ProdigalSon81
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 28
First date and awkward moments?
Posted: 10/21/2010 3:45:20 PM
It's bound to happen sooner or later, as mentioned before you're talking to a stranger more or less so it'll be difficult to keep the conversation going non-stop. Of course there are exceptions.
 13sunshines
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 29
First date and awkward moments?
Posted: 10/22/2010 7:30:30 PM
Yes. I think anyone who has done the first date thing has had an awkward moment...I was on a first meeting last Sunday. I knew as soon as I saw the guy that it was a 'no go'. He called me out 5 minutes into the date. Very awkward.....we just moved on and shared some funny stories about on-line dating. Turned out good.
 Tiina
Joined: 6/23/2005
Msg: 30
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First date and awkward moments?
Posted: 2/1/2012 9:53:22 AM
I have these awkward silences very often on dates, which is why I hate dating so much. As an introvert, I will never be the life and soul of the party, but in the normal run of things I can talk to people without worrying about what to say next all the time. On dates I never know what to say, and worse still I am often left to carry the conversation single handed, which is exhausting. Often it turns into my asking a series of questions in a desperate attempt to get the other person to do some of the talking. When this happens, I never want to see them again.
 flcruiser
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 31
First date and awkward moments?
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:07:45 AM
I guess I've been extremely lucky as I haven't had very many awkard first date moments...I have found that talking on the phone prior to actually meeting someone seems to help...at least for me it does...if the phone conversation doesn't go well..then there generally isn't a face to face meeting...

As for kissing on the 1st date being a "requirement" for a 2nd date...hasn't happened...and unless the guy is drop dead SEXY it isn't going to happen...and at my age there aren't to many drop dead sexy guys lining up to date me...Lol!
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