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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!      Home login  
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 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 76
Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Really and what part of the majority or minority am I?

put your fangs back and read the entire comment
*sigh*

I don't see any women that go through many men or men that go through many women, but I don't frequent bars

I work in a hospital..... I see it a lot.

I date a person, not an age

In my opinion, that's not smart. It kind of suggests you don't plan on anything long term.

If your age defines you, so be it. I won't hold anyone's age against them

Who said anything about holding it "against" them? I speaking in terms of common sense. But then, I also speak in terms of a long relationship. I can't see myself at 60-65 years old with a much younger woman. I want to retire with someone... I dont want to retire and, for all intents and purposes, be single while also being in a committed relationhip with someone who won't be retiring for another 10-15 years.

I refuse to bury my head up my ass and pretend age is just a number.
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 77
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Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/2/2010 10:36:02 AM

Could be harmful but would you rather go out riding a stallion?
Or would you prefer a slow, painful death trotting along on the old horse that's ready for the glue factory?
I'll take the stallion and go with a smile on my face!


God I love irony!

One undeniably truth in this life is that from the time we are born, we are going to age and eventually recede from this mortal coil. Denial does not make it go away.

When you see comments like this from those standing closer to the front of the glue line than the back, it speaks volumes about their lives and where their priorities are at.

It seems that to many at middle age, the opposite gender is to be treated like a farm animal, fed and treated well when usable, but if it ever slows down or gets sick, it's slaughtered and replaced with something new.

Have are hearts hardened this much or have we just become "practical" at this stage of life?
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 78
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Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/2/2010 10:42:21 AM

I refuse to bury my head up my ass and pretend age is just a number.

Me, too. If that makes me an ageist, I'm perfectly accepting of that. To each their own, I'm an age-appropriate person. JMO
 MrFication
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 79
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Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/2/2010 11:53:25 AM

I date a person, not an age

In my opinion, that's not smart. It kind of suggests you don't plan on anything long term.


My I, This is an interesting point. I don't want to steer too far off topic, but is it possible to expand a bit more? I, for some reason, agree with this notion. I have heard all the sayings: "love is blind", "age is a number", "why should age be a barrier", "love knows no bounds", "half plus seven", etc. For my own preference, still flexible however, I look for plus/minus 5 years; but I am looking for long term (basically till end of days). All to often I see the older person looking farther out than the younger. Almost like the younger one is waiting for the ones in his/her bracket to catch up--experience, maturity, financially.......
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 80
Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/2/2010 12:34:17 PM
"I look for plus/minus 5 years;"

Please STOP, your trying to make sense to the senseless!!

Wide age disparities don't work very often. Are there exceptions, of course, and one person MAY know several of those exceptions. BUT on the whole, for vast majority, it only works for a period of time, than they move on.

When 50 year old men OR women, go shopping among the sub 30 crowd, it usually ends in either disaster or with a whimper, when the younger one moves on.

As for 10 years, yeah maybe it will work, a lot depends on the individuals. But then again people can be the same age and it fails, due to activities level of one or the other.

As with all things, it falls to the individual and what they want, or THINK they want.

I agree on the +5 or -5 thing, but hey, that's me and not the majority. I've dated women older and 15 years younger. I did far better with a woman 7 or 8 years older than I felt with a much younger woman. Our tastes were different.

The irony of the last few pages is that there are opinions on both sides. While I started this as a discussion point, it seems to point out that we all view things as differently as the people we are or have become.

When you date out of your age group, I found that many did it, as a result of something, rather than in reaction to meeting someone. Meaning they wanted to recapture something they missed, or something they thought they should have. Instead of seeing people as people, they see them as acquisitions, not partners.

JMHO
 MrFication
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 81
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Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/2/2010 1:16:08 PM
Thanks Evil.
The reason I chose those numbers weren't necessarily for compatability. I figured that age range would pretty much have two people arrive at the same points in life at the same time. Just seems like if you found someone you really loved, you would be putting either yourself or them through alot of grief(selfish?) by having one passing on 20 years before the other. To me, I know many may disagree, thinking about something like this would bring on stress....'have I provided enough--emotionally and financially, taught them enough, to make it all those remaining years?' The greater the age gap, it would seem to me, the greater the stress brought on-if others (older partners) think like this at all. Stress is often correlated to health problems, so for the topic of discussion--I can see how the survey may have some validity.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 82
Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/2/2010 1:31:20 PM

My I, This is an interesting point. I don't want to steer too far off topic, but is it possible to expand a bit more?


I'm at the age where I want to start thinking seriously about my plans for retirement. My daughters will be out of the house within a few short years and then I'll have 5-10 years to sort my retirement plans. One thing I would like to have at that time is someone who is ready to retire with me. Someone who can sleep in with me; someone who can take spontaneous day trips with me; someone who is also at the same aging process as me.

I don't want a partner who is still going to work for another 10-15 years after I retire... that's not my interpretation of a good retirement plan. I want someone who can joke about my sagging testacles while I swing her sagging tits..... it's that simple.

Who knows? maybe we'll decide to have threesomes and foursomes. But the important thing is, I'll have someone beside me who will compliment my lifestyle just as I would hope to compliment her lifestyle. In order to that, I'm of the opinion you should be relatively close in age.

One more thing....I want to drive an old man's car when retired and not a Toyota Prius my mate needs for commuting to work for the next several years
 MrFication
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 83
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Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/2/2010 8:06:29 PM
Thanks My I,
You and Evil gave me some info to stew upon. Main reason I asked was because I knew someone that went for a guy much older, and a friend of mine said, "but she can never marry him". He couldn't explain why, other than offering up lots of other peoples' failed attempts. I was curious to know if you had some insight as to whether or not one of the partners goes into an age gap relationship knowing it won't be long term. Kind of like if the younger actually sets some kind of timeline.....'7 years and I'll be looking at my own age again' or something. To me, to pursue 'dating' is to have the eventual possibility of long term, even if it is slow and takes forever to get to the final conclusion. I can't see starting a relationship when you already know there is an endpoint, seems like focusing energy on the wrong person.
But of course there are always exceptions....Anna Nicole.
 sosdd
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 84
Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/2/2010 11:53:41 PM

Really and what part of the majority or minority am I?


put your fangs back and read the entire comment
*sigh*
I have fabulous reading comprehension. As I have clearly stated the longest relationship in my life was with a man 11 1/2 years older. Now I am seeing someone younger. So where is it you wish to pigeon hole me? And fangs wahhh? Not sure what that is about.



I'm at the age where I want to start thinking seriously about my plans for retirement. My daughters will be out of the house within a few short years and then I'll have 5-10 years to sort my retirement plans. One thing I would like to have at that time is someone who is ready to retire with me.
You are 49, daggone, pull up a coach and die, oh wait, that is what happen to my mom's 10 year younger husband, ok it was the dining room table. Seriously. I am 49 and no way am I looking at retirement, I am in full career mode right now. My love life is in the backseat. 18 years is about when I can start thinking about retirement. My bf's mother is in her 70's and is still working. His dad is retired. It works for them. Just because you look at that at 49 doesn't mean other women or men are thinking about giving up their careers. Like age doesn't equate equal mindsets.

When my grandfather retired, they discovered cancer. My grandmother never held a job. She was ill when they discovered his cancer.

I sure as heck am not in a relationship thinking about retirement at this age. I am thinking about my career and the relationship second. Of course my kids fit in there some place. But I don't believe any of this will make any difference in my life span. Staying married to my ex husband would have shortened my life, but my current lifestyle, heck no.

Wonder if they made a study of how many women expanded their lives by divorcing. Now that seems like that could be logical, less stress.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 85
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Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 5:08:54 AM
"Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!"
--------------
... Just who.res, nothing more nothing less. It only makes sense to date or start a relationship with somebody near one's own age or at least +-5 years. Beyond that it's ridiculous and obvious what it is about.
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 86
Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 5:21:25 AM
^^^The study which is the topic of the thread is about MARRIED COUPLES.
What is "obvious" to most people is that marriage is not about "who.res" or anything "ridiculous."
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 87
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Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 5:49:54 AM
"The study which is the topic of the thread is about MARRIED COUPLES.
What is "obvious" to most people is that marriage is not about "who.res" or anything "ridiculous."
-------------------
Don't married couples have a story of dating and starting a relationship, too? Or do they pick somebody off the street, walk to the nearest church and get married?
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 88
Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 6:14:31 AM
Whores marry their johns? Not only that, but whores who are older than their johns? Do you have some stats to add to the discussion of WIDOWED MARRIED COUPLES?

Married couples are ridiculous? Or ridiculous up until the time they get married? Or is it just the "ridiculous" WIDOWED MARRIED COUPLES where the DECEASED WIFE is some years older than her husband?

p.s. I'm surprised that you failed to use your oft-repeated expression "leg spreading" to describe the DECEASED WIVES; then again, maybe "leg spreading whores" would have been a bit over the top.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 89
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Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 6:29:11 AM
Again, it only makes sense to date or start a relationship with somebody near one's own age. That's all there is to it. There are horny, old women (whores) out there who justify their choice through nonsense. And since men wasn't brought, I won't get into it.
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 90
Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 8:16:33 AM
My grandmother was older than my grandfather and concealed her age. She was 5 years older than anyone knew. My grandfather died when the youngest (my dad) was about 15.

You must have a lot of experience with who.res to be able to identify their modus operandi. Quite an eye opener for me. My mother is older than my father. They are still married, BOTH World War II vets and living in the house in which I grew up.

You apparently have nothing better to do than judge others for their relationships. Good thing you won't be faced with the prospect of marrying a who.re (or most likely anyone else).

You live in Sweden? Hahahaha! Not bloody likely. I lived there. They are so open about dating. I had a much younger Swedish guy pursue me, but turned him down, because (I thought) I had a BF at home in Colorado.

Shoulda been a who.re, I guess!
 sosdd
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 91
Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 8:18:22 AM
What makes since about starting any relationship with someone your age? I am divorced because of my ex's mental illness, it had nothing to do with age.

My mom's husband was diabetic and heart disease, ummm don't think there was any bedrooom action going on at all. Soooo why would you call old women whores? My mother is anything but. What nonsense is there about two people in love getting married???
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 92
Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 8:33:24 AM
Several posts above we have an example of an obvious TROLL being fed repeatedly. That is what he seeks, jinx. Please let us just report his posts then ignore him for best results. S
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 93
Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 8:51:22 AM
Sorry, don't mean to interrupt the great "who.re" debate.

"I can't see starting a relationship when you already know there is an endpoint,"

I doubt many see it that far out, I know I didn't. When I was dating a younger woman, I felt that it might work, that I had feelings for her, that "I'd see where it would go".

After several months(6), I realized many things, among which were different life goals. She was beginning the career path climb, she was considering children, her idea of life beyond dating varied greatly from mine. My career was firmly established, in fact winding down(25 years in my biz, was like 40 in most, besides as the saying goes "how much cake do you need?"). I had done the diaper thing, the school play thing and the college thing with my girls, that part of my life was done(at the time my youngest girl was a freshman in college). She was looking for a white picket fence existance, I was looking to travel, do things I wanted to do, and make a difference in life, still am. So our desires clashed as to the future. We also did not share the same exact friends, what hers considered fun, mine would yawn at. hahaha!

I don't think most age disparate couples look at the long term implications of their feelings. Only the short term benefits, of the feelings that person evokes in them.

Can it work?

Of course it can. There are several in this thread who said so, and did. The problem is that this is not the case for the vast majority. As one poster or another has said, health issues can impact or end the relationship. Further, sorry to say, some will slow down, some will get to a point where the only exercise they get is bending for the remote and hitting the button.

Doesn't mean you shouldn't try, IF you feel strongly enough. Just go into it, knowing full well, those differences may not matter now, but in 4 or 5 years they may become significant. I doubt a younger woman, really wants to sit and watch American Idol or Bassmasters on TV every night, in 5 years. I also doubt a healthy young man wants the mood swings that accompany menopause, but both cases, are very real among the many things, that accompany getting older.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 94
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Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 8:54:56 AM

I doubt a younger woman, really wants to sit and watch American Idol or Bassmasters on TV every night, in 5 years.


I dont think most older women want to watch Bassmasters either...
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 95
Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 12:11:31 PM
Yet another long and boring twist on a tired and overly-done subject of younger vs older.
It never fails to infuriate both sexes so why continue to do it? Can't there be something good in a relationship where there is definitely love and respect and fun regardless of which sex is the younger or the older one?

I read that survey mentioned by the OP when it was first online. I find difficulty believing the reasons for early death was due to having a younger partner. It had to have been due to some underlying causes to those who just happened to have had a younger lover at the time. Those reasons work both ways and all y'all know it! Stop throwing darts at the opposite sex.

Please, once and for all, if an older man wants a younger woman he shouldn't have to justify it by posting his distaste for the older woman and if an older woman wants a younger man, she shouldn't have to rudely defend herself either. Every one has their preferences -- those things that make us happier. What is it with single adults these days? Just have fun, be happy, and live. Stop beating everyone else up over something that is, or isn't, happening in your life.

IMO


Charlie_girl
 deborah815
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 96
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Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 1:01:58 PM
At least they died with a smile on their faces. (messages this short may not be posted, messages this short may not be posted.)
 Bearbie
Joined: 5/30/2010
Msg: 97
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Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 1:41:32 PM
Personally, I find older women highly attractive, especially since they dont have QUITE the estrogen problems as a 18 years old puberty-fem. Didn't read this thread at all, not even the first post...but still, Im making a stand :) This is a common fantasy of mine, and I shall fully support it.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 98
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Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/3/2010 3:42:41 PM

Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!

So is alcohol, tobacco, "distracted driving", too much ,sun, fast food,unprotected sex,
Wanna borrow my cell phone to call someone that cares???
Cindy O
 Michaelann
Joined: 9/11/2004
Msg: 99
Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/9/2010 5:06:08 PM

I can't see myself at 60-65 years old with a much younger woman. I want to retire with someone... I dont want to retire and, for all intents and purposes, be single while also being in a committed relationhip with someone who won't be retiring for another 10-15 years.

I refuse to bury my head up my ass and pretend age is just a number. - My I


Doesn't apply to me, since I'm disabled & already retired. Also doesn't apply to houswwives/mothers.
I suppsoe you could plan on retiring at the same time, not everyone wants to retire at 65. It's about choices.
Otherwise, your premise makes a certain amount of sense. However, many people DO believe that age is just
a number, in many respects. I dated a 35 year old widower when I was 18 & newly divorced, & my last
husband was 12 years my junior. Age was not a factor in the end of either relationship, nor any other than I
have been in, for that matter. Maturity is a seperate issue from age, in my experience. We all age, grow,
evolve differently. I often get serious emails from guys my son's age
I just recently re-set my email restrictions (temporarily removed for an event I am hosting) to : over 30
(previously set at 25).

Some people are simply more open-minded than others, it's that simple. And I would suspect that if this
study is not flawed, the most likely culprit is stress. Many people who are at all unconventional get
a good deal of stress from their familyies. And stress almost always makes everything worse.
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 100
Older women, younger men... could be harmful!!
Posted: 6/11/2010 11:51:35 PM
The question is, did the women who married older men live longer? We have the men living longer with younger wives. Twenty percent of the women who married younger fellows living not as long. ( So there is a 80% chance there will be no difference, not bad odds.) But what about the women who married the older guys? Maybe the 20% went out with a margarita in one hand, chocolate in the other, saying wooo hooo what a ride!
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