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 Island home
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 51
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Orgasm frustrationPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
^^^

I need some advice. I did lots of thread searching and couldn't find a situation similar to mine.

Op after looking at your posting history I figure you have a good enough imagination to come up with your own answer.
Hope you appreciate this reply
 totally honest
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 52
Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/23/2012 9:01:13 PM
You cant blame him most people learn to orgasm by masturbation .a parnter provides tools you need but you are responsible to know your own body and what it resonds to and learn to let go concentrate on what makes you feel good and gets you to that point the guide him.you have to be a little selfish. and get your self there you cant just lay there and expect him to do it for you .
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 53
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/23/2012 10:46:47 PM
Women who fake orgasms deserve what they don't get.

Great line.... I'm definately going to pass that one on....


I'm gonna put it on a Tee shirt !

Thanks to abelian
msg #6

BB
 Wowyou69
Joined: 12/12/2011
Msg: 54
Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/23/2012 11:19:10 PM
first all tell him what you want......you can't expect it to change if you dont..... and if your having sex 3-4 a night how the hell do you expect to get any sleep......if your getting your fourplay and the main event to?????
 riuser
Joined: 8/31/2010
Msg: 55
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/23/2012 11:52:57 PM
First of all, your boyfriend really does not know that he is not satisfying you. You are faking orgasms and so he thinks everything is ok. By you faking orgasms he thinks his amount of foreplay is just fine. So I would not totally bash the boyfriend on this. This is definitely partly your fault. So, NO MORE FAKING ORGASMS.

Second, as everyone has said, you need to communicate with him. There are many ways to communicate. The best is if you can directly tell him exactly what you want. But you can also cue him in as he is doing things, "yes, yes, keep doing that". Or, "go back, do the other thing, yes, yes", etc.

Also, you can also direct him. "kiss me again", "kiss my neck, yes, oh yes," "lick my nipples", now my stomach , come back to my breasts, some more, etc.

Also, positive reinforcement after the fact can also help. "Honey, I love how you spend so much time on kissing me on my lips and neck. I loved how you caressed me (be specific as to where). etc. But you need to be specific. General terms will not work nearly as well.

A book, which could be very helpful, may not be read.

Bottom line, you need to communicate. If he cares about you he should be receptive.
 negrito2hrs
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 56
Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/24/2012 12:50:31 AM
me da pena pero solo quiero que sepas que necesitas darle masaje oral, y acariciarlo y decirle tu necesidad en el acto
 negrito2hrs
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 57
Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/24/2012 12:56:02 AM
solo se mas amorosa
 cong
Joined: 7/30/2007
Msg: 58
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/24/2012 5:06:34 AM
You may need a new boy friend,you know the old saying you can lead a horse to water be you cant make him drink lol.
 darknight48
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 59
Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/24/2012 10:13:01 AM
tell him what u want him2 do to you cuff him bed ride his face, give hom encourgement like touch me there lick me bit longer ect/you get pic
 Story.
Joined: 1/18/2012
Msg: 60
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/24/2012 10:33:24 AM
To the thread host:

When it's run of the mill sex, I tend to act like your boyfriend. You probably got off work, are tired, but are still somehow wound up and a need a release.

If you want foreplay, make the event special. Plan a date night where y'all do something fun. It'll remind you of dating again, and the foreplay will get a little frisky.

---

As for the second question, you can give him subtle cues during an intimate encounter. A gasp, "keep going"s etc. If that still doesn't work, then old fashioned communication is honestly your next step.
 **love2smile
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 61
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/24/2012 6:39:42 PM
Listen to the other posts... first decide is he a selfish lover!! Sounds like it to me, if he is MOVE ON! It will never change, sounds like you are letting him know what you like and want, but he is not listening!! hint hint, ... but if he is not a selfish lover.. then buy some fun books and experiment, any and all learning tools can be helpful! but get him excited about exciting you! complaining only makes it worse!
 anais987
Joined: 12/14/2010
Msg: 62
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/24/2012 6:54:39 PM
EVERYBODY gives an advice: don't fake it and tell him! And they are right, but....Do you know how hard men take it if you tell them? in real life? I broke up several relationships because of that. Most of men can't handle the truth.
I'm sorry girl, I'd like to give you an advice but I'm running into the same problem with men over and over and over again....
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 63
Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/24/2012 7:13:49 PM
Find someone else who knows what they are doing. Besides, nothing is more unattractive than unwarranted self esteem.
 Story.
Joined: 1/18/2012
Msg: 64
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/26/2012 1:57:29 PM
Ignore ixt's post.

Just because he's inexperienced now doesn't mean he's not a great match for you. He'll get past the inexperience part with a little practice.
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 65
Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/26/2012 2:08:06 PM
Talk, talk , talk, and more talk ! Then .... DO !
 RedWxFalls
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 66
Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/26/2012 3:53:28 PM
Just talk with your boyfriend. If he doesn't accept what you like, other than the "main-event" like you have stated, in the end the relationship won't last. Relationships begin with honesty and trust in and out of the bedroom. If he's not giving you the pleasure you deserve as a woman, whether making out, kissing, foreplay, oral sex(giving and receiving), then in the end, its just going to be intercourse. Nothing else. And in the end, your going to feel what your feeling now down the road.
 WinstonDoubtfire
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 67
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/27/2012 7:37:29 AM
Guys are visual creatures. Give him some visuals (tease, tease and tease some more) and I'm sure you'll have him tongue lashing you in no time.
 senica
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 68
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/27/2012 8:08:33 AM
Talking to your mate simply openly He should be wanting you to be the happiest for this will make him happy
 APNM03
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 69
Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/27/2012 8:20:42 AM
Tell him what you like but you have to approach him with a good attitude. If you sound frustrated it may go in one ear out the other. To slow things down start with some foreplay on him and see if he pays you back! I to am guilty of going into jackhammer mode. One thing that has worked for me is moving around the house during sex. Start in the kitchen, outside or shower. Then take it to your favorite spot to finish. Faking the orgasm is the worst possible thing you can do!
 codemiester2006
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 70
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/27/2012 12:21:53 PM
I will never understand this lol... girl meets guy, girl goes all the way with guy, guy obviously sucks at his manly duties... girl sticks with guy, guy keeps manly image and manly benifits but isnt "paying" for them... uhhhhh well its important to say what you want... i mean worst case scenerio you can be all childish and girly about it like... *bat lashes* and say well I was thinking we could do something different tonight... anyways if homeboy dont know how to do it right... first off we arnt all natural born sex monsters... so you gotta at least try to school him... or you will prob end up looking for someone else. Its a whole lot easier to fix sex problems than life issues so speak up or forever hold your peace but like idk what u mean but who does that? yea let me just get it right on in there lmao. seriously either speak up or dont but if u move to the next guy he prob not gonna know what u want either. I try to be intune with what she wants... I can do this without her saying a word since I am very observant (I focus on things like her heart rate her pupils contractions etc muscle spasms) there may be a bazillion people who look a 1000 times better than me but least I know how to do tha do lol
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 71
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/27/2012 12:37:46 PM
26, years old..... and you can not figure it something as simple as this out.....
tell him!!!
faking orgasms, well too bad for you, your a woman, not a child, stop acting like some teen
know what you like, learn to be a good lover (it is part of life), and most importantly grow up!!!!
 interlumen
Joined: 9/2/2011
Msg: 72
Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/27/2012 6:30:04 PM
Stop faking it. This is a relationship killer. Tell him what you want, if he loves you he'll WANT to please you.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 73
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/27/2012 6:49:00 PM
Perhaps talking to him about your wants and needs before you are in the bedroom where its on neutral ground... you can present it in a way that shouldn't shatter his ego... I am not sure I'd tell him you've faked it, because in the future he will have his doubts... although I am sure lots of women have faked it a time or two... but when there is a problem with NOT being able to have an orgasm, isn't the time to fake it... how will he know there is a problem?

It sounds very immature on his part and selfish to jump right into the bump and grind...
 lionheart101364
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 74
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/30/2012 2:35:04 PM
I would have to say, either find someone that does it for you or make it fun for him to do it your way. I'm mostly about a little forplay before i do anything , but that's just me. It might be because I'm affectionate and enjoy sex in general. lol So it part of who I am.
 tallgentman
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 75
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Orgasm frustration
Posted: 1/30/2012 2:44:41 PM
I'd say tell him you want more foreplay, and you make foreplay too. also put yourself and him on your pleasure spot. either grab his head or move your body there. just talk to him he will probably be really interested in the subject
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