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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 6/1/2007 2:58:33 AM | I leave a partnership when Im no longer happy so it never has been nor ever will be a Issue. I trade out of the relationship before trying to trade up  Also I dont rely on anyone else for financial support ect so I dont need to stay for some form of comfort many do.
A lot of people just do It as they rarely get attention so will jump at anything that gives It to them to be all that for a moment In their own mind. And some are just sly dogs.. but end of day they are all only with the base partner for some form of convenience - be It financial, emotional tampon security ect. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 6/1/2007 3:25:25 AM | | Honestly, I could have cheated during both of my past marriages, and most guys probably would have with the crap I put up with. I can honestly say, though, that I was very faithful at all times. I wouldn't want to be cheated on. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 6/1/2007 3:30:11 AM | I have never cheated and can say in all certainty that I never will. I leave when having that person in my life no longer makes me feel special, important, loved, wanted and desired. Of course not until communicating the problem with him and attempting to work things out. I have left many (2 husbands, 1 fiance, several boyfriends) thus far, however I am old..lol. It's never easy. It's a huge step and it's scary walking away from someone you still love, someone you invested so much of yourself in, to start over from scratch and alone and not knowing for sure that you will stumble upon another someone special in your lifetime . But life is too short to settle for miserable and I don't feel I should have to supplement my relationship with the attentions of another in order to be happy. I deserve better. I learned several years ago, when tempted while miserable in my relationship, that I don't have the conscience to follow through and cheat; that I am the type that needs to be able to look at myself in the mirror each morning and like the person looking back at me.
I also know that I wouldn't like it very much at all to learn that someone cheated on me. I highly doubt that I could ever continue in a relationship once he broke that trust. I don't share and I doubt I could ever trust that person again. Plus I know me. I'm the type that would always throw his infidelity back up to him during fights if we stayed together after he cheated, so things would never work out afterwards. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 6/1/2007 3:50:42 AM | I have never cheated and I do not think I ever will. Well, unless Pam Anderson corners me somewhere private, when I'm in a relationship.
If I loved someone and the "passion" had faded, yes I would stay and stay happily. Guys are getting tugged towards various women fairly frequently by their "feelings that, Oh that would be so Right". A guy in a committed relationship makes a conscious decision to be true and faithful to the one he has chosen. The comfort and true depth, of being with someone who knows you, and understands you, and puts up with all of you, and still Loves you, far surpasses the thrills of the passions of a new attraction.They call it "chemistry" because that is what it is about: glandular thinking. I 'spose that certainly has its place in life and relationships. As a man I know what it is like to think with my glands! Why do men get shit for that and for women it is some mystical bells ringing? It is elusive and always will be. It is also transitory and not based on compatibility. It may well be based on Past lives, but if it is not accompanied by liking, respecting, and understanding the person those elusive sparks may just as well be a sign to "run screaming" as to make it happen.
So, is it better to follow one's passions and have intense relationships, rather than consciously/mentally deciding with whom to invest your emotions and sticking to your decision. Well, if there is Love involved the later is way better. Intuition/Spirit over mind over emotions over body powered by the passions; works way better in life than giving the ego based passions control! Depends what you want though. Following your passions is a good way to be childless and lonely. Making smart decisions that your passions have played just a part of the equation in, is more likely to provide a happy marriage and family. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 6/1/2007 5:26:51 AM | Ok Lady I think you hit the nail on the head. What she said.
Cheating is for the lazy. Can't take the trouble to close one door before opening another
Cheating is for the cowardly. No courage to be honest and upfront
Cheating is for the weak of mind. No esteem for self or others because they need the ego boost
Cheating is for the impulsive. No patience or self-control
Cheating is for the desperate. No intiative to make healthier life changes
Cheating is for the selfish. Only concerned with one's own welfare
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/20/2008 8:48:05 AM | I can honestly say that I have never cheated and never will. My wife of 18 years cheated on me with a co-worker who she is now living with. It hurt so bad that it turned my world upside down and inside out. I would never want to put someone in that position as I know how much it hurts. Anyone who does cheat is a selfish SOB. If they want out of their relationship they should just have the guts to step up and end it before anything happens. Many people say that they were drunk or there is no communication in the relationship. For those who say they were drunk, guess what too bad no free pass, maybe you should learn to control your drinking. For those who say there is no communication, damn it, do your best to communicate with your partner and if that doesn't work, then leave him/her before you decide to sleep with someone else. People, there is no excuse for cheating.  | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/20/2008 9:04:26 AM | I must chime in here.
I was married 20 yrs and NEVER cheated. Even when things were at their absolute worst I didn't see that as a license to cheat. I think it is the ulimate disrespect to your partner.
Since our divorce I have had a long term and a couple of short term relationships over the last 5 years. Never cheated on them either. I will break up before I would ever consider getting involved with someone else (emotionally or sexually).
Never have been a cheater and NEVER will be!!! | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/20/2008 9:07:25 AM | I've never cheated and certainly wouldn't either
I find the gesture of trust to be beautiful and I feel honoured every single time it's invested into me.
It's a gift and one I treasure and never take for granted.
I know how it feels to be betrayed and in a very extreme way I might add. One which cost me everything I once had, it almost claimed my life.
The pain humbled me to my very core, I made myself a promise to never a hurt a person in the same way and I never break my promises.
When it comes to trust, the ache between ones legs becomes as relevant as a scratch on your back.
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/20/2008 9:50:29 AM |
Nope, never have, never will. Like Hotbush said, I've had it done to me and will never make another human feel like that.
Same here.
If I'm unhappy, then I'm gone from the relationship, and it takes me a while to get that person out of my system before I can be with someone else, physically, or otherwise. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/20/2008 10:05:02 AM |
I Myself, Never Have And Never Will Cheat. (And, I CAN say never.) Why, because there is no need to put someone through that pain, and disrespect; when you can just respectfully break up with them. Am I alone here? I know lots of women will show, but come on men, show yourselves! I'm thinking we're rare as can be, show me I'm wrong.
Wow man...someone must've performed voodoo to resurrect this thread...
As for the OP, you're probably no longer here, but I can assure you that you're not alone on this. Like you, I can also say that I never have cheated, and never will. Never is a pretty finite term, and even though I believe in a lot of cases to "never say never", I can ignore that and use the word in the right context regarding cheating. When I say never, I mean it.
And I proved it to myself in a rather awkward way YEARS ago...
Having been cheated on a couple times by then, in my early teens, I had to see what the fascination was. So I deliberately, and with intent, went out searching for someone I could sleep with and thus cheat on my then-girlfriend (whom I suspected of cheating). Long story short, took me less time than I thought, we hooked up at a local motel/club, things got steamy and clothes disappeared...but I couldn't go through with it. She asked me what the issue was, and I told her "I don't think my girlfriend would understand...". After ducking flying objects for 5 minutes, and rubbing a fat lip, I left knowing that I just couldn't do it.
Was right about my then-girlfriend however...she did cheat on me.
Anyways, I know what cheating does to people internally. It destroys them inside. They ask themselves if they're damaged or flawed to the point no one wants them. They hit emotional skids, and play scenarios in their minds that are pointless to conceive. I've seen too much of it happen to ever wanna participate in that kinda behaviour. A few times here and there in my own life, but moreso through my friends and family. Seems that everyone was cheating on someone with someone else.
My philosophy has long since been, if you're really that unhappy in a relationship, leave. Just walk away. Don't even need to give the "reasons", just walk away. If you can't be faithful, then don't stick around. It's not a matter of "if" you get caught, it's a matter of "when" and by whom. I know how being cheated on felt to me, so why would I ever wanna put someone I supposedly care about through that emotional wringer, just to get my snaps?
Though I can be an evil, insensitive, cold hearted bast*rd in most cases, even *I* have lines of demarcation. Liars, cheaters and thieves...the triad...those 3 items are all equally repugnant and I don't participate in those games. If my mate does, it's game over. If I'm really unhappy being with someone, I'll just walk away, never giving myself a chance to cheat on them.
It stuns me though, how there are ever increasing numbers of people that will cheat on their mates, and always will. Enough will never be enough for them. Through their selfishness and abstract attempts to rationalize their actions, these people are scumbags. Most of my life I've been one who wants it all...and generally get it...but if getting it all involves hurting my mate to get it, then I can do without. I know when enough is enough.
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/20/2008 11:10:42 AM | Like it is said , 'do unto others as you'd have them do unto you'...something that has been implanted in me and I live by! Anyway, I don't believe that I could enjoy it, knowing what the outcome would/could be... | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/20/2008 12:40:22 PM | As for the motto "never say never," I don't buy that. Certain things I know I'll never do in this lifetime and I'm okay with that: cheat on a partner, use crack or heroin, rape others, murder anyone for any reason other than immediate self-defense, eat feces, live in a really cold climate, marry a Klansman and so on.
I don't even see cheating as this huge temptation that would require me to think all that deeply about it. In my world the golden rule is a given. Integrity actually makes things easier folks, not harder.  | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/20/2008 3:27:13 PM | Nope. Elemental, my dear Watson.
Integrity is an awful close kissin' cousin to virginity.
You lose it once, and its gone. It aint comin' back....and YOU will always know.
You might be able to hide it from some of the others across your path....
but intuitives will know...
if we were but animals, and if it were mere a sexual act....
but that denies the emotional, social, physical, personal, and foremost spiritual implications. It is not just a sexual act...thats just the beginning of the promised blessing...if ya honor all of its potential its so much more... | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/20/2008 4:04:39 PM | I cannot say NEVER, as I don't know the future. All I can say, is that I certainly don't want to be cheated on, and the best and only way I think I can do anything to encourage that, is to never do it myself. So I decided a long time ago, that I wouldn't, and that no-one, and nothing is worth betraying that trust. Way I see it, is if I meet someone I like more, and it's really worth going for, then the current g/f was never meant to be, and that will end, and the new girl will end up going out with me after.
I've lost at least 2 women I loved because I was dating someone else at the time, because I refused to dump the girl I was dating for them. But on reflection, that was my feelings for them, not their feelings for me. I love deeply. But that feeling is oh, so worth it. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/21/2008 8:03:51 PM | I am too arrogant to cheat. If I am unhappy in a relationship, I will want to talk to my partner about it. If I'm attracted to someone else, to the point that I'm considering doing something with them behind my partner's back then something is VERY wrong -- so I'd want to talk with my partner about that.
Above all, my partner and I should be friends, and I would never lie to a friend about that!
So that's it in a nut shell. If I want to move on, I'd just say so. It may hurt the person, but honesty is the best policy and lying to them will hurt just as much, even more, because it speaks of disregard and disrespect.
Anyone I have a relationship with will be someone I have a great amount of respect for.
But most of all, I don't and will never cheat because I respect myself. I'd just end the relationship.
The overall rule that prevents me from cheating is I always treat others as I want to be treated. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/21/2008 8:26:34 PM | I have NEVER cheated and NEVER will. When I was a teenager and dating if I decided I'd rather be with someone else I would break up with the person I was dating at the time, unlike many other people who thought it was ok to date more than one person at a time. That is NOT my style and never will be.
I know first hand the pain that being cheated on can cause. My husband of over 23 years cheated on me before he walked out on me. I had ample opportunity over the years we were married to cheat on him but wouldn't do it. He was in the Army when we first got married so the first 9 years of our marriage I was basically alone. Did I get lonely and want to be held by someone? Yes, but I NEVER turned to another man. I had made a commitment to the man I was married to and I upheld my commitment. | |
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| bored and lonely like always
Posted: 11/21/2008 8:37:08 PM | Never have and I can say never will because because it's happened to me and the pain it causes is one I will never inflict on another.
Here's the way I look at it:
If you want to be with me....then be with me.
If you want someone else then leave.
Absolutely.
My ex-husband cheated on me once about 8 yrs into our 23 yr marriage. He was my husband and I was really trying to live up to that 'for better or worse' vow. So I forgave, took a little (ok, a lot) longer to forget. But, eventually I forgot.
Boyfriends don't get the same benefit. First time I find a bf has 'been' with another woman after we start having sex, I'm outta there. No yelling, fighting, or throwing things (I've been known to cry). I say that's unacceptable to me and leave.
It's never easy. It's a huge step and it's scary walking away from someone you still love, someone you invested so much of yourself in, to start over from scratch and alone and not knowing for sure that you will stumble upon another someone special in your lifetime . But life is too short to settle for miserable and I don't feel I should have to supplement my relationship with the attentions of another in order to be happy. I deserve better. I learned several years ago, when tempted while miserable in my relationship, that I don't have the conscience to follow through and cheat; that I am the type that needs to be able to look at myself in the mirror each morning and like the person looking back at me.
Well said, karese
Oh, and OP - good for you. I consider monogamy/commitment to one's word a quality of a 'real man'. | |
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| bored and lonely like always
Posted: 11/21/2008 8:46:14 PM | The Bible says adultry is reason for divorce but even though he was cohabitating with another woman, i still remained faithful. divorce is in the eyes of God. God knows cheating versuses being faithful. There is Biblical divorce and Legal (which takes forever). In Jesus' eyes in the serman's it is clearly spoken. I have been divorced for a long time. I never cheated and never would. Even remained faithful when he was living with another women.
Call me stupid. BUT I did not want divorce. If I cheated, two wrongs don't make a right.
i didn't want to cheat. | |
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| bored and lonely like always
Posted: 11/21/2008 9:08:50 PM | A man....nay, a person is only as good as his/her word.
Never done it, never will. Why? Because the vile I felt for the mother of my daughters isn't how I would want another to view or feel about me. Fortunately, I actually do care about other's opinion of me. For, I care about my opinion of myself. 
~ds~ | |
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