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Qamila
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Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 502 | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/21/2008 11:51:40 PM | Well .... I too knew I would never cheat ..... However, When I found out my husband was cheating ........ he moved out to be with the
" love of his life." I realized it was time to move on, even though I was not yet divorced.
So...... I met someone, had a wonderful relationship ...... until my estranged X ... found out.... and dumped the " love of his life ." And went ... full out trying to get me back ........
The question is ..... Did I cheat ??? | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/22/2008 12:38:10 AM | In my opinion, boredbroad, no you did not. While I do not date men who are only separated, it is not because I think they'd be 'cheating', it's because they have a lot to go through before they're ready for a LTR.
I, personally, define cheating as when one person 'steps out' on their partner who believes the relationship is exclusive. In this case neither of you believed the relationship was exclusive, and in fact it wasn't by his choice. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/22/2008 4:21:34 AM | I have never cheated, but unlike most of you who site not hurting others, that is not why I would never cheat. I have a certain level of ethics and morals I live by. When I violate them, it makes me very un-happy. Being intimate with someone else, even emotionally when I was intimate with a particular person, even if monogamy had never been discussed, would be a violation of that. I would not be able to look at myself in the mirror. I enjoy loving myself and I would never do anything to dissuade myself from that.
If I were lacking in getting what I needed from my partner, I would let them know that there was a problem first and give them ample opportunity to correct it. If they did not I move on.
Cheating is never an option. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/22/2008 4:44:14 AM |
Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Never ever have and wont. Always been and still am,, very loyal not only to people i date but to friends and family also.
I couldnt even fathom cheating on a significant other. Just wont happen. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/22/2008 6:49:47 AM | I can honestly say that I will never cheat again... I was 19yrs old the first and last time attempted to get away with cheating, simply dating others in my non-serious relationship with an older guy. I knew then that we would never be together forever. It was just time spent growing up.... I was naive and went out with a few other men and generally the dates ended as introduction dates should. A kiss on the cheek, A thank you and A goodnight. Well my luck ran out and I went out with this guy and he got me pretty liquored up and I found my self agreeing to things Id never had agreed to had I been sober..... None the less I ended up pregnant and didn't even remember the guys name. I hate the stereotypical situation that I had fallen into that trap. I beat myself (Literally) Mentally and physically.... This was one of those times life taught me the hard way.... I had a miscarriage.... Im thankful I learned my lesson, and cheating has never again crossed my mind.
Im glad Im older and wiser.....
mystriya | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/22/2008 7:09:10 AM | Read interesting article in the local paper last week about CHEATING in the relationship. This was very enlightening read, basically Cheating is a reflection of SEXUAL ADDICTION. The addiction, like any kind of addiction, cannot be easily controlled. Those who do cheat, hate themselves each time they do it, but they are not able to stop it.
The article has explained it has something to do with 'chemical imbalance' in the brain, and cheaters need frequent release of this.
Cheaters, usually go into counseling sth like called : Sex Anonymous, that's right sex, drugs, alcohol, food , anger - are just few to mention that are associated with addiction. Don't judge people based on their addiction, educated yourself.
Luckily, I have never attracted this kind of relationship to myself. All my men were faithful, and personally I have no need to cheat on anyone. It can be a real curse for any parties, and cheaters are simply sufferers of sexual addiction. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/22/2008 8:58:43 AM | I grew up in a home where cheating and trashing around was rife. My mom went through hell with three different husbands. She wasn't a saint herself of course. (but we never saw it as children.) I don't know what kind of life I would have lived if it not for the examples of how life could be through organized sports, and the friends and mentors I met participating in them. (Good and bad.) Luckily, I was able to learn from other people's mistakes. Cheating isn't an option for me.
I wonder how many people that cheat will actually tell you that they're cheaters anyway? The closest they will come to it is admitting that they've done it before, but never again. Yeah... Ummm... OH-kaaaay.  | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/22/2008 9:00:54 AM | Someone who cheats is a coward and immature, plain and simple.
I have never cheated because I can be honest with myself and the person I have a relationship with, that it isn't working and we both need to move on. Case closed. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/22/2008 9:08:35 AM | never have, never will
i respect myself too much to do that - pride issue if you like - if i say i'll just be with one person, then that's what i'll do
treating others the way you'd like to be treated has a lot going for it too, imo
doesn't always work - sometimes people are just gonna be horrid, no matter what you do.... but at least then that's *their* problem... treating them decently means you don't have to kick yourself later | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/22/2008 3:52:57 PM | I have never been in a relationship long enough where I did not want to touch and have sex with the one I was with. When the relationship went south I had enough sense to get out rather than hang on to something that was not there.
I would guess some people stick around even though sex has run its course between them. Some need the thrill of being with a new person to send tingles up their spine. Cheating seems like too much trouble for me. I would probably feel guilty if I did. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/22/2008 7:47:00 PM | I have never cheated and I will never cheat nor will I ever be the cheated with person.
I don't believe in it and I have been on the receiving end and there is nothing no worse than to be cheated on. I respect those that I am with, and my morals is what I run my life by. I have in fact broken off relationships before just on the fact that I have thought about cheating on them with someone else, though even afterward s I did not persue the other individual, I still believe that I did the right thing and I believe that everyone has full control over their actions and that there is no reason for anyone to ever cheat on anyone else. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/22/2008 8:03:03 PM | | Nope, won't do it even though I have had the chance. Even through three years of separation. Just doesn't feel right. Besides what do you say to the one that is your next true love. I believe in honesty and integrity and continue to live it. Have been on the other side twice and I won't do it because I know it hurts. I don't believe in hurting some one just to satisfy my needs. We are either in a mutual relationship or we are not. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/22/2008 8:08:27 PM | I can definitely claim the "never have" part because history is fact. I'd like to think that I could also claim the "never will", but since that is future, while that is absolutely my intent (and if we can say the future is an extension of the past then this should be a pretty safe bet!), we can't ever speculate 100% fully on tomorrow, especially when humans are involved. But with that said, that's the plan, and I'd place my bet I'm good for it.
Why? Easy. It has to do with how I view commitments and love, appreciating and learning from life's lessons and its beautiful paths (even the ones passing by the valley of temptations), .......that I would not want to hurt another, and that I also would not want to hurt myself that way. And then finally too, how I want that conversation with St. Peter to go some day. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/22/2008 11:25:28 PM | | i never have and dont see myself ever doing it. cheating is 100% voluntary. before you sleep with someone you start to talk, then flirt, then a date or 2, then the cheating happens. that is alot of steps to go through before anuthing happens. so you have plenty of time to stop it before you hurt you SO. so if any one does cheat they have no excuse what so ever. so no i cant see myself ever cheating | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/23/2008 6:31:47 AM | Cheating doesn't logically make sense to me.
Sex is uncomparable when you're with a loving partner.
Without it's just not worth the effort.
Cheating makes you less of a person, no matter how wrong your partner has done by you, it is still up to you to lower yourself by betraying your own word. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/23/2008 7:53:47 AM | | Cheating and monogamy is only a cultural thing. Some cultures, when a girl/boy hit puberity, they get to sleep with everyone in the village. Then when they find someone they like they stay with that person. There is no jealousy in that culture, no possession. Cheating is a business thing. Marriage is now a business with assests divided between people. Cheating is like a corporate takeover! | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/23/2008 8:04:13 AM | While I haven't read this entire thread, I have made my views on cheating quite clear in other threads and I guess my question is this, why would you cheat?
Cheating rarely has to with anyone other than the person who is doing the cheating. The reasons they do it? Well, there is selfishness, lack of character, lack of intergrity, lack of morals, lack of self esteem...you follow me.
I have never cheated, as a matter a fact I am monogamous to a fault, so much so to where it has come back to bite me the ass. That said, that doesn't change who I am. I can't just "fall in love everyday." People, I think just are looking for SO MUCH that they feel as if the have to look at serveral different people to be fulfilled, when the truth is they should really be looking on the inside to fulfill themselves. Me, personally, I can only look at one person at a time and if I am looking at him, he is the only one I am looking at, but that's just me. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 11/23/2008 11:33:39 AM | I never have been able to understand why someone would cheat on someone they are dating. Why not just break up with the person before you go looking elsewhere?
Now once you are married, they should be the only one you have sex with. If you want to have sex with someone else, respect your partner and give them their life back and divorce them instead of cheating on them. | |
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