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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 2/3/2009 5:39:36 PM | Hi OP,No youre not alone,im sure there are many men who have never cheated and never would,one here for a start.
If i am with someone i have to love and cherish that person unconditionaly and when i do i look at the opposite sex in a different way altogether,i dont want or need anything from anyone else.
I just dont see the point in staying with someone you dont love then lying and cheating your way through life,if you truly love someone you cant cheat and wont cheat,simple as that.
TI | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 2/3/2009 7:18:35 PM | Do a search for your topic, and post your comments on an existing thread, even if what you have to say has already been said
This post is still going since 2005 because of the rare birds who pay attention to the POF guidelines, and I applaud those, and I hope it goes until 2525.
If more people would try it this way, all of the world's relationship wisdom could be condensed into about 2 dozen threads on POF for our convenient reference. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 2/3/2009 8:26:13 PM | | Nope, honestly and respectfully say that I never have and hopefully never will. Can't predict the future but since I am now 48 and never it, safe to say I never will. Respect and love for others and respect and love for myself is why I have not. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 2/4/2009 2:55:13 PM | | With all these noble people it makes me wonder where all the cheaters are, must be reading different threads I guess. I've been cheated on a few times while i've been in "relationships" so I wouldn't want to inflict that hurt on someone else. Back in the 80's when things were a lot more relaxed and we'd never heard of aids and herpes, I was a lot more promiscuous than I like to admit. There were several occasions I suspected the lady I was with wasn't entirely single so I guess that may count as cheating by proxy. I never used to ask. Nowadays i'm fortunate enough to have a woman who fills me so i don't have the need or desire to step out. | |
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| Always Cheated & Always Will
Posted: 2/4/2009 6:08:49 PM | One cool feature of the fish forum guidelines is you're encouraged to not discourage replies from any group. So I, as a female cheater, consider myself welcome to post in this thread, too (not meaning to speak for other cheaters, who I doubt will post, because of the backlash for daring to tell the truth).
For me, "I don't mean to be a cheat, but it feels better when I sneak." That's the reason I cheat - it FEELS GOOD.
Silly little rules and vows are for ordinary people, which I am not. Cheating proves I'm smarter than; better than; and more desirable than others (not just a common liar).
It is Society who harms us all by giving hypocritical lip service to honesty, fidelity, trustworthiness and the like. Loyal? Dependable? Faithful? I can get that from any dog.
So it is Society who dictates that my wish for sexual freedom should conflict with my goal to raise a family, and my need to maintain a certain standard of living, which my husband can afford, but I couldn't, on my own. I can't marry another cheater, because life for my children would be too unstable. If I confess my so-called cheating to a non-cheating spouse, he might take my money, my TV, my kids; and be unpleasant.
Besides. Be fair. He's a good guy, and it's not my wish to hurt him. Sometimes I just get tired of being married, through no fault of his. Then we fight, he withholds affection, and a woman has GOT to HAVE it. If he pushes me away, then he should understand (since I've told him I've got to have it) I will be looking elsewhere. If I get busted I'll just say "oh, that was during that time we weren't getting along."
I know I'm not the only one, here. It's not OUR fault we "cheat." We had bad childhoods. Suffer from impulse control disorder. Have problems with boundaries. Fears of abandonment. Attention deficit. Some of us have athlete's foot fungus, and unless you've been there, you shouldn't criticize. | |
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| Always Cheated & Always Will
Posted: 2/4/2009 6:10:46 PM | To put it simply:
If I develop a relationship with a girl, I am committed to it. No need to put anyone through that type of emotional stress. | |
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b00m
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Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 610 | |
| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 2/4/2009 10:20:10 PM | I won't for two reasons
1) I have more self-respect than that.
2) I have a very small social circle, and I am picky, to understate it, about who I am close to. Romantic relationships undergo even harsher scrutiny, and if someone got past all of that, then there would be no way I would even want to let her go. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 2/4/2009 10:34:38 PM | I have never cheated and never will.
If you are weak-minded enough to cheat then you have serious moral problems and a lack of self respect.
Make an executive decision and break it off before messing with someone else. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 5/6/2009 8:23:26 PM | | I have never cheated & am an all or nothing type of guy. If you need to be with another , be honest & up front before doing something you can never take back. I feel for the kids stuck in the middle most. I was one of them . My father looked like James Dean & was a serious womanizer. I lost respect for him & vowed to never be similar. Just me I guess. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 5/7/2009 3:48:16 PM | | Calling someone a cheater is a judgement call. There is no such thing as cheating. Some people just don't want to forgive themselves and others. I would rather be happy. Sexual pleasure with other women while you have a "girlfriend" is something that happens. Some dudes do it some don't for whatever reasons. Of course reaching the level where you have ultimate happiness regardless of sex or not is great but cheating is an illusion. If you love the person, you shouldn't care what they do, you still love them unconditionally. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 5/7/2009 4:32:10 PM | This is a real easy one for me. I desire to have someone special in my life … someone that I can share both the good times as well as the bad times. Someone I can love, adore & cherish. I have absolutely no desire to stray beyond that relationship, only to embrace it with all I have. It’s always been that way for me so it’s not a difficult thing.
I was married for 30 yrs before my divorce a little more than 5 yrs ago. During that time & before I never even considered cheating … not even during the last 4-5 yrs of my marriage when my wife began her addictive lifestyle & things were very difficult for us.
Recently I had a wonderful relationship with a very special lady I met here on POF. I believed she was the answer to my prayers … the special one I would commit to for the rest of my days. Unfortunately I moved way too quickly & it contributed to our relationship coming to an end.
I think I learned a very valuable lesson from that 9-month relationship. The lesson was that no matter how strongly you feel, no matter how “right” it feels … you can’t rush a relationship … it has to come in its own time & in its own way. I feel very blessed to have known this special lady & I hope I learn all I can from our brief time together.
So my friend … I commend you on your ability to commit & say I feel the same way myself. | |
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bhi99
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Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 616 | |
| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 5/7/2009 5:09:22 PM | Like the OP I don't see the point.
Even if you're married, you made your bed, if you want to leave THAT bad, you should get a divorce.
Currently as I have never been engaged, all my relationships have been one on one.
Obviously there's a dating process, like 2 weeks, but if you've gone on 5+ dates with someone, you should be ready to make a choice not to see other people in a romantic setting.
I've never cheated on a girl probably because any relationship where I completely disrespected my girlfriend to the point I would consider cheating with her I would end it, and in many cases I have a patience, but I tell the girl early on, don't cheat on me, just break up with me, I'll respect you more for it.
And they have 
Seriously, cheating in early relationships is just lazy because you can just end it and then take your lead, and cheating in relationships 6+ months is irresponsible and unfair to the partner. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 5/7/2009 5:55:01 PM | I don't understand the need to cheat.
If I found myself attracted to another person then I would know I was no longer interested in my partner and would have to figure out why and once I did if it couldn't be fixed then the relationship would need to end.
Cheaters never win...winners never cheat!
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 5/7/2009 6:25:10 PM |
I Myself, Never Have And Never Will Cheat. -- You appear to be focusing on merely the Physical form of Cheating -- there's also Emotional Cheating -- AKA, an Affair-of-the-Heart.
There are people who will say, "I've never been fired from a job!" -- Truth-Be-Told, their performance was so shotty, getting fired was just-around-the-corner -- they chose to quit before getting their Pink Slips.
What I'm saying here is this ... Ask the question a little differently: "How many of you have been in a relationship, and wished they were with another?" -- NOW you'll (most likely) see hands popping up everywhere.  | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 5/7/2009 8:30:53 PM | I have very mixed feelings about this "cheating" issue. I feel that as an adult, you can do what you want with your body and share your emotions with the person of your choice.
On the other hand, I totally grasp the impact of a partner who has decided to share her body and emotion with someone else. One is completely devastated as if your world had collapsed and your heart pulled out. Its akin to death in a way. One gets so numbed , paralyzed and full of doubt.
I am not the type to "cheat" , never has and hopefully never will. I'll end the current relationship first before I pursue another. My inner self does not allow me to hurt my partner.
Yet, I cannot bring myself to condemn although I understand the emotional havoc it brings and the possible emotional scars to the children. I think my children (I brought them up myself since they were 3 & 5 ) love me and respect me more because of what happened to me.
If you can live with yourself by cheating, go ahead, if not please be respectful of yourself. There is no right or wrong, just choices. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 5/7/2009 10:07:49 PM | | History suggests I'm a serial monogamist. I don't need special emphasis to prove it, but I doubt seriously this will change. Even now, with the hope for one prospect, every social dating site I'm on shows me looking for friends only, simply because I'm just days away from expressing my feelings to a woman who is special to me, and it's those feelings that seem to make everyone else well, insufficient. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 5/7/2009 11:54:16 PM | | This is an easy one! No I would never cheat! I don't believe that you need a rebound either. I'm not perfect at relationships by any means but if nothing else I'm very monogamous! One thing at a time and if it ends I believe time is needed to reflect so you can do better the next time! I think this comes from not needing a relationship but instead wanting one that will last! | |
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w0zzy4
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Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 622 | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 5/8/2009 1:11:06 AM | I've never cheated.
I never will.
I will get into a relationship with someone I like and then hopefully love.
If I was to cheat it would have to be for something that's lacking within me and the relationship.
So I take knowing myself and finding the right person commit 100% to seriously.
The end. | |
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sprýté
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Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 624 | |
| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 5/8/2009 2:22:36 AM | never cheated, but i've been the "other woman" in full knowledge of the wife and their 1.5 kids.
did i feel guilty? no. the wife is oblivious to his playboy antics (as far as i'm aware i wasn't the first nor was i the last), or maybe she just lets it slide for the sake of a happy existence.
on the other hand, i do not tolerate cheating in and of myself or my partner. i've been cheated on once, and even though i found out after the relationship ended, it still bloody hurt. i don't want to go through that again, and i certainly don't want to make anyone else feel that crap because of something i did.
double standards, you might think...
but they're MY standards, and i stick to them. | |
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| Never Cheated and Never Will? Claim it &Tell Us Why..?
Posted: 5/8/2009 7:39:12 AM | | I have never cheated. My conscience is WAY too big to ever cheat. Also - I can't stay with someone who I don't love anymore. So, this is never even an option for me. I have also grown up seeing first hand how cheating ruins a family, hearts and how it effects everyone. These experiences have helped me make smart decisions in regards to cheating. | |
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