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 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 76
45+ men and fashionPage 4 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)


I don't comprehend why you and so many others here are taking this thread about the fashion faux pas of older men so seriously when the obvious intent of it was meant to be light-hearted and humorous. No one here, myself included, was attacking you personally or making any assumptions. Lighten up!!!


yes, by all means!!

it's fun to poke fun collectively at a group -in this case , 'older men' -light-hearted and humorous- Lighten up!

why don't we next have a group of jokes or statements 'poking fun' at "Negroes', Mexicans', 'women', "Arabs", Muslims", etc., etc.??

how could they possibly be 'offended' when it's all in fun?


after all it's light-hearted!! lighten up! fun to poke fun at a group which doesn't include you I guess ??!

no, you can't make jokes based on race! god forbid! but based on gender or age, have at'er ! right?

I wonder if all the older ladies poking fun at older men would be so 'light-hearted' about it if the situation were reversed? (men 'poking fun' at women)
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 77
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/10/2010 4:46:45 PM
Actually, these are the apples I offered:

Do I have this correct?
There are women here who could look at the following profile pics and honestly think that they would be just as compatible with one of these men as the others?
Longish hair, full beard, mountain man clothes, knife on his belt, hunting rifle in one hand and dead animal in the other, standing in front of a muddy four-wheeler.
....
Fake looking tan with an orange-ish tinge, pink polo shirt with collar up, thick gold chain, Ed Hardy hat, in what looks to be a club holding a bottle of beer in one hand and flashing a "gang" sign with the other.

On a boat, wind in his hair, dark t-shirt that says "Hooters" on it, board shorts, beer can in one hand, looks like he might be intoxicated.
....
Is anyone willing to pretend that we don't form at least some idea in our heads about what these men think about some things, or at least how they conduct their lives?

And THEN Lefty offered oranges, because I never said or implied that the projected image told a "whole story" or that any of us do - always or routinely - JUDGE compatibility off of image alone.
However, I do stick by my opinion that
1) in some cases, they do (my examples of the vegan looking at the hunter's pic, and the one who wants a non-drinker looking at the drinker's pic).
and
2) the text that goes with the pictures, or the words that come out of the mouth of the person in real life TEND to be in sync with each other. The man with the "save the earth" t-shirt is not very likely to not give a crap OR to defend BP's actions when you start talking about the Gulf disaster. By the same token, the guys I described as wearing a suit and tie or a plain t-shirt and shorts are blank slates about the Gulf disaster until they actually tell us what they think.

-------------------------------------------------
I think I've already made clear that in my opinion all of us should feel free to dress and groom ourselves in whatever way(s) we like.

However, whether we like it or not, and whether we intend to or not, we will attract or repel other people with our chosen presentation.

We get A LOT of threads and posts in these forums from people (seems to me to be mostly men) bemoaning their lack of success here (and the men often are blaming it on women).
They bash and bash and bash women who don't respond to them, or who won't date them.
They call us a huge variety of vicious things.

When a woman posts bemoaning lack of dates, some male posters are quick to tell her she is old, or fat, or frumpy, or old and fat and frumpy, or being "old" automatically means she is fat and frumpy, or she's plain-looking, or unattractive, or unapproachable, or stuck up, or off-putting, or some other negative thing. My favorite being the gems about how we no longer have the "pvssy power" that these weak-minded boys apparently only grant to young(er) women.

In other words, whatever it is, the bashers insist the "problem" lies with women generally or the specific woman.
For the dateless and "wah, why can't I get a hottie" bashers, the "problem" is never them.
Not even in the bogus versions of the "Am I Ugly?" threads.

The irony is that most of these bashers (the ones with pics) have a great deal of female-repellent-stuff going on in their own images, IMHO. Which tends to be enhanced by their profile text, IMHO.

Yet they are never ever "at fault" for their lack of success.
It's those horrible women who are shallow because "they don't think I look rich enough or have enough status" or some thing he made up in his own head.
Perhaps if he replaced the stained ill-fitting t-shirt with a clean one that fits, and washed his hair ....

Some men in these forums insist on being accepted exactly how they have chosen to present themselves online, yet decry the fact that they can't get dates with women who spend time, effort, and money making themselves (for whatever reason) into "hotties," or "the pretty/beautiful/cute/sexy ones" - choosing to present themselves in these "appealing" ways on their own profiles.

I have also observed this phenomena countless times in real life as well.
Male friends who obviously don't care much at all about their appearance (one was really like Ed Grimley) pining over women who obviously do put care, concern, and effort into enhancing themselves; and ignoring the equally inherently attractive women they know who don't put in lots of enhancement effort.

Whatever logic these guys are using escapes me.
Oh, wait, there is no logic being applied.
~~~~~~~~

Other people are not responsible for how we choose to present ourselves.
And we DO choose how we present ourselves.

Your chips are gonna fall where you let them.
Whining about it (I don't mean in this thread, I mean in the forums generally) won't change a thing.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 78
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/10/2010 5:58:57 PM
I think it's lemons... or sour grapes of wrath- ( vicarious revenge against someone? ) that lead several vehement POFerlanders to repeatedly attempt to bash the opposite sex into the ground with virulent rhetoric...

More revealing of the attackers than the targets... S
 Artz
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 79
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45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/10/2010 6:20:24 PM
I'll post something as soon as I finish this months Issue of GQ magazine. Damn another call from my Hong Kong taylor.
gotta go
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 80
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/10/2010 7:00:34 PM

If you have daughters, I'm sure they'd be glad to take you shopping and they definitely wouldn't let you walk out looking like total dorks.


You got that right! When my daughters (22 and 32 now) hit age 14, my Wrangler jeans were outlawed, and I was given a list of the only stores to buy clothes from- American Eagle, Gap/Old Navy/BR, Eddie Bauer. They've moved out now, but I've kinda been trained. lol


What really gets to me are those men over 45 that insist on hanging onto their Tom Selleck moustaches and center-parted hair styles from the 70s and 80s.


Hey! My hair parts itself, but it's pretty close to center ( a little left, though, like the rest of me). Would rather look like a throw-back hippie than some young, or not so young, republican.

OP, the only men I see with armpit waistbands are 75+ (not that I'm scoping out my gender much, lol). Spine shrinkage? And that only afflicts men? What about those waistband elevations that are just above women's nips? lol Is THAT spine shrinkage at work?
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 81
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/11/2010 4:55:54 AM
^^^ I'm glad my boobs are sagged down to my waist..
now I can hook my waistband over them to keep my pants up!



(lol!)
 Janet4ever
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 82
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/11/2010 5:04:58 AM
I haven't really noticed any overwhelming fashion-flops of the over 45 men... who cares anyway?

I care more what they look like without clothes.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 83
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45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/11/2010 10:55:57 AM

I care more what they look like without clothes.


Me too, that is the reason I am always on the prowl on beaches ,swimming pools. nude camps. I think I recognized you on some of the places ,I've been ..
 Phoebe48
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 84
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45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/11/2010 4:52:38 PM

Other people are not responsible for how we choose to present ourselves. And we DO choose how we present ourselves.


So true jinx!!!!.........just had to repeat it!!!!! .......But feel compelled to add.........For those who didn't get it the first time.......... this statement doesn't just apply to fashion or what a person is wearing. The character of a person is revealed in so many different ways and their fashion sense is just one way.
With all due respect to previous posters, I can't see the "inside of a person" right off the bat. I basically form an opinion about a person based on what they're wearing first and then what comes out of their mouth. Okay call me shallow.
Fortunately, in my neck of the woods, I haven't seen any waistbands under the armpits. But, I've seen some other scary fashion statements. I'm attracted to a man who knows how to dress himself, knows what's appropriate for certain situations and events. If he needs a Momma to lay out his clothes for him, I wouldn't be interested in the job.
 SaritaTallahassee
Joined: 12/3/2004
Msg: 85
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/11/2010 6:45:48 PM
So, how rude would it be if I asked a guy to pull the waist of his pants down his natural waist?
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 86
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45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/11/2010 7:18:21 PM
A book that discusses the topic of male fashion faux pas is supposed to be coming out soon. It's called "Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or Having Sex". It mentions that when it comes to calibrating long-term compatibility, what men wear is the first and often most crucial criteria that women use to judge---and that research shows that's usually within the first 15 to 20 seconds. Very interesting...
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 87
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/11/2010 7:29:31 PM
Sounds very interesting allright.. I wonder which first crucial criteria most men use to judge women in the first 15-20 seconds...

Maybe that can become more acceptable if it is in a book title form.

Let's try exchanging the genders in that new book title and see how that flies here... S
 Rusty474
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 88
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/11/2010 7:54:20 PM
All of the men I have dated have all dressed well whether it be a coffee date or a dinner date. I find that these kind of threads always become a pissing contest between genders. I think it is safe to say that Most men dress very well and Most women dress very well. Some, on the other hand, may not. Some folks like a gal with little or no makeup so someone that uses makeup with a heavy hand may turn them off. Some folks like a man with a little cologne so someone that uses cologne with a heavy hand may turn them off. We could discuss this forever, we know what we like and are attracted to and what we're not attracted to. And the bottom line is what comes out of their mouth, what is in their heart, what type of person is that sitting across from us.

Clothes all look the same when jumbled on the floor. Someone mentioned not wanting to lay their date's clothes out cause she's not his Mama but I have always found shopping for men's clothes very enjoyable. I love picking out something that I know would look fabulous on my man.

As for judging people in the first 15 to 20 seconds, I think we do that already when we pass over a profile or hit unread/delete. People have already done the too short, eww he's holding a fish, too old, too fat, small boobs, short hair, yuk another pic of his truck, bald, etc. When I finally get to meet someone I wait a bit and use a little common sense - we're all a little nervous on a first meet up so I don't judge too much in that first hour or so, let us both relax a little bit. Maybe we all need to relax a little bit, maybe lighten up too. It's the old "one man's trash is another man's treasure".
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 89
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/11/2010 11:50:09 PM
My daughter and I were recently at the mall and I noticed several fairly attractive men around my age. Problem is they all had their pants pulled up under their armpits -- usually wearing a belt with a shirt tucked in

Maybe they were at the mall looking for better fitting pants.

But who cares, if they were fairly attractive anyway, even in their armpit-pants to begin with...
If you have a man who's clothing is not quite up to your fashion standards, you go buy him a few rugs for his birthday, and hope for the best. The clothes don't make the man anyway, and if the man beneath the clothes is worthy, then just remove them.




 BentonHarbor
Joined: 3/2/2010
Msg: 90
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/12/2010 4:06:18 AM

I don't comprehend why you and so many others here are taking this thread about the fashion faux pas of older men so seriously when the obvious intent of it was meant to be light-hearted and humorous. No one here, myself included, was attacking you personally or making any assumptions. Lighten up!!!


Fair enough----now get to posting something that IS “funny” or “humorous” or at least identified as such---k? There is almost nothing in the OP to suggest it was meant to be “funny” so the epic failure of this thread falls upon its creator—get that?

The follow up replies from all sides of this issue shows not too many others took it to be “funny” either which says a lot all on its own. Read the entire thread maybe........this claimed “humor” is completely MIA or never existed in the first place? BTW where is the OP of this “funny” thread---anyone else notice she too is MIA?


A book that discusses the topic of male fashion faux pas is supposed to be coming out soon. It's called "Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or Having Sex". It mentions that when it comes to calibrating long-term compatibility, what men wear is the first and often most crucial criteria that women use to judge---and that research shows that's usually within the first 15 to 20 seconds. Very interesting...


No—as already said this too would be an epic failure----its not only a boring subject and having already been done to death but it speaks only to those who act in such ways. Women might yak louder about how they instantly judge men on their (lack of) fashion sense but some men are just a prone to dismiss some women because of their appearance. Long term compatibility based upon a first time meeting where fashion sense is a main criteria-----kidding right? On the other side of that is those who DON’T act so foolishly as well as the men who couldn’t get a rat’s butt about being “rejected” but such a woman. Thing is to all you gals who subscribe to such a dumb idea of such a book there are probably 1,000 women who do NOT so dating and having sex doesn’t come down to “fashion”.

Already asked but not answered so far is how many reasons do men have for women in this “undateable” category? Wanna bet it exceeds 311? Rant on women-----we hear ya but as can be seen don’t pay much attention!
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 91
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45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/12/2010 4:16:15 AM

"Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or Having Sex


Is getting married one of them????

You know...when I met this woman, we talked, laughed, had a great time...she was AMAZING!
I really liked her, but there could not be a second date.
I could not believe that she wore THOSE shoes with THAT dress.
sigh...
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 92
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/12/2010 5:32:49 AM

My daughter and I were recently at the mall and I noticed several fairly attractive men around my age. Problem is they all had their pants pulled up under their armpits -- usually wearing a belt with a shirt tucked in -- kinda like Ed Grimley on Saturday Night Live! Now, while I'm no fashion model, I try to keep my wardrobe current -- without trying to look like a teenager.

I realize most older men just aren't that interested in fashion or what's current, but I'd almost guarantee you'd have better results in the dating world if you updated your wardrobes occasionally. If you have daughters, I'm sure they'd be glad to take you shopping and they definitely wouldn't let you walk out looking like total dorks.

I'm missing how this ^^ from the OP is so hateful, or even how it mocks men generally.
She said she saw several men dressed in a way that many people might find odd- that what she saw was similar to the costume a SNL character wore for comic effect.
She then suggested that older men, even if they themselves aren't interested in fashion or current trends in clothes, might want to update their wardrobes if they are interested in having better results in the dating world.

This strikes me as pretty innocuous stuff delivered in a light-hearted tone. She's suggesting a quick and easy boost for appearance. She didn't say anyone was ugly, or stupid, or didn't know how to dress himself, or that he needs to change how he dresses.
Quite a different thing than the rants some men go into about the unattractiveness of "old" women.

Another poster brought up a HUMOR book, Undateable: 311 .... Obviously, not everyone would find that book to be something they'd want to read, or that they'd find that brand of humor funny.
But it's currently in the top 100 in sales in its category (Books - Entertainment - Humor - Love, Sex & Marriage) on Amazon, so obviously some people want to read it.

This also strikes me as pretty innocuous.
Personally, I wouldn't care if there was a post referring to a humor book titled 1001 Things Women Do to Make Themselves Undateable.
I understand the goal of the publishing industry is to make money, and controversial-sounding nonsense sells.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 93
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/12/2010 7:44:38 AM
^^^^ LOL. Gotta agree with that- Sarah Palin's book, according to reports, sold millions, and that was pretty nonsensical. 'Course, lots of guys see her as a babe, and much babbling can be overlooked for that reason alone.
I didn't pick up on anything "hateful" in this thread. That any book from any author guiding any gender to becoming a sex-magnet sells at all is pretty humorous to me. Not even Walmart sells one-size fits all clothing.

What each of us thinks would sell well, even for ourselves, is rarely one-size-fits-all, either. Peppermint Petunia doesn't need any flowerdy (Okies say it that way, lol) dress- I was buying into her jeans.

There's just some inherent mystery and magic in this mating thing, that makes it work, or not. Pixie dust. The "right" clothes may be magical to some. I'm pretty sure that I ran off a lady, which was def'ly not my intent, by wearing a sleeveless shirt on a muggy day, even though it clearly said AE on the front. lol
Sometimes, as that French bad guy archaeologist tells Karen Allen as the nazis are covering her old tomb with a stone, "Alas, Cherie, we were not meant to be". lol

Actually, I agree most with the ladies (one of whom scours beaches) who say it's how their targets look without clothes that matter most. lol And that's arguably pretty shallow, too.
 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 94
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/12/2010 9:26:26 AM

If you have ever been in love, if you have ever held a new born baby, if you have ever viewed the wold from a mountain peak, if you have visited the Sistine Chapel, if you have swam with sharks and octopi, and for the few who have been to space, it is a reasonable inference that the gradeur of these phenomena are not merely the products of swirling atoms and chemical reactions taking place between our ears. There is something more.


their 'character' is revealed by their fashion sense?

are you saying that you can tell whether someone is honest, hardworking, faithful, reliable, etc. by their fashion sense?

I think you are implying that someone with 'better 'fashion sense, a fashion plate, would have 'better 'qualities of character?

Oh, my, would you be a suitable, gullible patsy or 'mark' for confidence men/women. This kind of unthinking reaction is exactly why they are usually polished up & dressed to the nines. the slick snake-oil salesmen of the world always have a polished appearance.

does this mean that a slicker looking type person like Obama or JFK had to be 'better' presidents than the more rumpled types like Harry Truman or Eisenhower or FDR ?

I think it might be more accurate to say you can tell something about their 'personality' than their character, and even that's hardly 100% reliable.

have you ever heard the phrase 'style vs. substance' ? sometimes it really does apply.

also you could just happen to be seeing a normally 'stylish' person having a bad /harried day, etc.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 95
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45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/12/2010 9:26:37 AM

I'm missing how this ^^ from the OP is so hateful, or even how it mocks men generally.

it's a passive aggressive criticism dressed up as condescending 'advice.' that's a double-dip that ain't gonna go unmarked on this board.

so i could start a thread about how badly some older women need to hear that they have fat as$es, that these as$es make them less attractive and cost them dates, how they should subscribe to my standard of appearance, and where to find people who know far better than them how to maintain a small as$, and only unreasonable women would see that as hateful or mocking?
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 96
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/12/2010 12:37:56 PM
^^^

t's a passive aggressive criticism dressed up as condescending 'advice.' that's a double-dip that ain't gonna go unmarked on this board.

Okay. That I can definitely see.

But your fat a$$ analogy doesn't hold up.
The possession of a fat a$$ can't be presto-chango one-eightied by a few hours of shopping and some money.

Let's make it too-tight spandex pants on otherwise fairly attractive "older" women.
But we're not allowed to say "Blech," we have to merely say it struck us, and that it reminds us of a well-known comic character.

No wait, that doesn't work either, as it HAS to be something that would be pretty unattractive to most people regardless of the otherwise fairly attractive women's age ... or weight.

Well .... once we come up with it, we can add it to the enormous hateful list some men in these forums generate of "What Women Do/Think/Believe/Say That Is Wrong ('Cause If They Were Doing Things Right, My Penis Would Of Course Be Happy). "
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 97
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45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/12/2010 1:10:32 PM
It's funny with some men, it always comes down to weight.
I can hear it now...Yean I know I dress like hell, but your
ass is fat so what am I? nananananananananana!

I thought this was started as a joke, directed to the men who
do wear their pants around their armpits and who wear
sandals and black knee socks. Then we could point out the
women who wear tight spandax or cropped tops or who have nails
like ..um nails...and carry suitcases disguised as purses and wear
hair and makeup that should be against the law outside of one of three rings.
But I guess that just wouldn't be funny unless we could point out
they had a fat ass.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 98
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/12/2010 1:14:53 PM
^^^Good point.

And I wonder how many of the snarky "fat ass women" comments from male posters is because they themselves are guilty of wearing their pants under their armpits or black socks and sandals ...

Some people are sooooo sensitive.
 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 99
45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/12/2010 1:15:19 PM
surely this is an exaggeration. I'm quite sure I've NEVER seen any man wearing 'his pants up around his armpits"

some quite higher, uncoolly high, higher than required by fashion -above the navel line or natural belt line/waist line, sure .but I've seen plenty of older women do the same

and usually this doesn't start at 45 or so, it's more like 75-85 or more

but at their armpits? really now..

so fat is 'off limits' but anything else is not? there are certainly clothes/fashions that accentuate the fat and make it more obvious, and some that help to de-accentuate it



Some people are sooooo sensitive.


yes, whatever you say, porky. that was meant in a lighthearted, fun way! aww, lighten up! smile, laugh!
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 100
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45+ men and fashion
Posted: 7/12/2010 1:36:46 PM

But your fat a$$ analogy doesn't hold up.
The possession of a fat a$$ can't be presto-chango one-eightied by a few hours of shopping and some money.

the point is the attitude behind the op, not the finer points of its content. if i decided to rag on women with smeared eyeliner, which can be remedied quicker and more cheaply than any wardrobe deficiency, it would make my op no less obnoxious than this thread's.
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