| Parents of teenagers...advice needed!
Posted: 2/3/2006 10:36:53 AM | the above plans might work as long as the kid is phased by discipline
taking away by brothers game system only made him obnoxious and bored and he'd torment everyone. My parents never really knew what to do about him. Award systems didn't work, punishment and being deprived didn't work. Often made things worse | |
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| Parents of teenagers...advice needed!
Posted: 2/3/2006 1:30:27 PM | Speaking from experience...I have a daughter turning 16 shortly....they'll get you everytime, if you worry about the last word.
Once you lose your cool...they win. My best advice - know your own limitations, set the boundaries and then stick to your guns. I know it's hard at first, but once you are able to establish the rules or rather where your line is drawn it gets easier.
Try not to give them any options. It's one way or the other. If you have to give them an answer...because you said so and you love them. Even if they yell at you, curse you...lose their temper. Allow them to go to their room...they do need to express themselves and even though it is not always respectful...they do come around. You can also try telling them quietly that until they can talk to you in a normal voice or give a good reason as to why you should let them go or do whatever it is they want...you don't want to talk to them.
Try not to give in either...or it just gets harder the next time around. Keeping the respect of a teen is the hardest thing I have had to deal with myself. But always remember this, you are the parent...your house, your rules, your money....etc...
Good luck | |
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| Parents of teenagers...advice needed!
Posted: 2/3/2006 6:52:14 PM |
He'll do what I asked him to do, but he'll slam things around while doing it.
You weren't at my house a few years ago were you??? Sounds just like my son when he was 13 to 16. I ask my doctor, priest, friends everyone and the only answer I trusted was this.
Welcome to the world of adulthood, NOT but that is what his body is saying. He sees girls in a new way and he can't do anything about it. All the things he believed in just changed over night. He now looks at you and realizes that men may look at you the way he looks at girls. Moms don't get looked at that way and should never try to be looked at that way. He has no idea and there is nothing we can do or say that will make him feel any better..... The key is to not let him know you know.
Love him, however you can, do something just for him everyday. But the best thing to do is get him actively involved in something after school. He has to learn to handle those feelings and the best way to do that is to get him to learn how to handle other things. Sports, music, acting or helping others.
The other rule I lived my was to the PMS rule. He has PMS for the next 3 years. Not girl PMS but boy PMS
PLACE MOM SECOND
Good luck, there is no sure fire way of dealing with it, go with your heart and you'll do fine.
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| Parents of teenagers...advice needed!
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:05:52 PM | | I have a son who is almost 15 and a daughter who is 13, believe me I know what you're going through and I myself have lost my patience on more than one occasion. I've learned that I have to pick my battles. If they are outright defying me I put it to them and don't let up, but if its something as simple as muttering under their breath because they didn't get what they wanted I let it go. I've also learned that the level of stress in my life decided how I was dealing with issues with them. I had to start thinking ok I'm I making this decision based on how I'm feeling or because I truly feel it's what's best for them. | |
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| Parents of teenagers...advice needed!
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:18:38 PM | wow, i would just like to say that you are very lucky that this is all hes doing at 13. if you think about it, there are a lot of kids his age who are a lot worse. i was one of those kids that parents didn't like thier kids hanging around....not something to be proud of, but at the same time i took advantage of my parents' seperation (which i still feel horrible for). i wouldn't even ASK to stay out late, i would call home from a payphone and tell my mom i'd be late. sometimes i just wouldn't call or come home.
i think the best thing you can do is just keep talking and staying involved in his life. (as much as possible) don't push too hard, but use your parental powers to the fullest!!!! its cheesy, but they DO actually listen even when it seems like they don't. i remember everything my mom said to me. the thing i remember most was her saying i could always go to her to talk without feeling judged....and she was right. i've never been closer with my mom. i know it is a lot different cuz im a girl, but it is possible.
what were his reasons for wanting to stay out late? maybe have one night every couple of weeks where his friends come over and hang out....compromise with him. don't talk AT him unless talking WITH him doesn't work.
good luck!!! | |
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| Parents of teenagers...advice needed!
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:20:13 AM | | depends on the kids and their home situations, etc. I'm hoping my kid turns out pretty mellow and easy to get along with like I was. Me mum said she was lucky to have good teenagers for the most part. I'm hoping I get the same. | |
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