| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 6/2/2007 9:10:18 AM |
I respond to all emails.What I dont like is someone to add me to their favorites list and they havent even talked to me yet.
I add to favorites because they are someone I might want to send a message to. I try and keep my communications with the women down to a minimum. I find myself obsessed with getting to a computer, otherwise.
If I send a message to a woman, if I get a "no response" or a "NO" then I will go to the next on the favorites list that I find interesting.
Every once in awhile I will pare down the favorites because of distance, interests, etc.
Just because I put them on my favorites list doesn't mean a thing. Just means I might have some sort of interest in them. If they find absolutely no interest in me, they will remove me themselves. No big.
I just think of "favorites" as a reminder list instead of a favorites. My favorite women will wind up in my phone list on my phone. Yea, my phone list is pretty short. That's OK. My phone bill is not very high. Find the silver lining. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 6/2/2007 9:10:38 AM |
I met a guy at Borders for coffee and a married couple walked up, Al jumped up and the married guy introduced him as someone else to his wife, I got up and left...another lunch date or two were married also, one offered to take me to a hotel room and pay me, loser, all in all, makes a person quit responding, not to whine, just the facts ma'am,
Wow... I never realized the kind of crap women have to deal with in the dating world. Okay... I've heard a story or two but nothing quite like this.
Sirus... I don't blame you for not responding to emails. But try not to give up either. We're not all that bad. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 6/2/2007 9:42:39 AM |
What I dont like is someone to add me to their favorites list and they havent even talked to me yet
I'm quite guilty of this "offense". Sometimes I find a profile of someone who seems genuine and unique. They could be someone I could admire for who they are as described in their profile. Often it is someone I am not really interested in dating or feel there are compatability issues. I put them on my favorites list as a complement to the person. I often try to contact them and explain but sometimes, I can't find a good way to say "I find you cool but I'm not intereted in dating you." In some cases, I see a profile that really appeals to me and mark it as a favorite. I contact them only to get a read and dealeted or even a deleted without being read. They bounce off the favortes list just as quickly. I figure it all just a process and not worth investing too much emotion into. Save that for later. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 6/11/2007 2:06:12 PM | | It seems to me that most women on this site are scared of their own sahadows..They pit a profile on here and when they get a message from a amn they act like he is going to kill them or something if they reply..Yes one need to be careful on here..But one have to be careful in abar at night meeting people. On here its a little safer at least you can chat and may find out something about a person..But if you women do not reply..you will not find out nothing..Tell me why put a profile on here if you are not going to reply? | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 6/11/2007 2:10:22 PM | | I reply to all messages if only to say thank you but not interested.I have had men message me from prison and I say thanks but no.I think its only common courtesy to do so. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 6/11/2007 2:34:49 PM | Thank you badmane.Appreciate those kind words.I have emailed men first and gotten no response.I just move on.Cant take it personally.Too many fish out there. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 6/11/2007 2:36:18 PM | Yay! Deb! 
I also answer all of my messages - it just seems like the proper thing to do. Sometimes I just send a message to someone who I have nothing in common with except I like their page, I think they have a great smile, they're well written - something... I don't expect a response to those - I just like to know someone smiled. 
But yes, I think it's incredibly rude when people don't answer the messages sent to them.
- Simone | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 6/11/2007 6:32:55 PM | I do try to reply - but here are some problems I have with some folks who contact me.
1. They have no photo posted. Or the photo is so blurred / indistinct that you can not tell what the person really looks like.
2. They do not even introduce themselves or post their name in the email.
3. They demand an answer if you are interested in a relationship with them or not based upon whatever is posted on their profile which sometimes is hardly anything at all.
4. Those who you offer to share your phone number with often fail to make the phone call or if they do they block out their own phone number as private. BAD MOVE GUYS. Don't expect a woman to trust you if you are not willing to trust her.
5. IMPATIENCE. Because this site allows you to see when people are online, and when they have read your email, folks tend to expect a response as soon as you read it. You don't know who walked in that persons room or office, if the phone rang, if they got sick etc. I have had a couple of men contact me in a pouty / petty manner because I had not responded quick enough for them.
Those are a few of the pet peeves I have in regard to responding to contacts - and I do try to respond. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 12/20/2007 11:34:37 AM | yeah, this pisses me off...
sometimes i truly think that women prefer ***holes...
i could message probably 30 girls in a day, and receive like 2 emails back.. and that's not because just 2 of them read the emails...
SMH... c'mon ladies... if you're not interested in a guy, at least have the decency to respond and tell him that you're not... | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 12/20/2007 12:02:30 PM | Good grief! If they don’t respond, don’t you have your answer?!?!?
Yes, it’s always nice to receive some acknowledgement, but as pointed out above, there are times when the originator has already shot themselves in the foot. From prison? Wow! You are awesome, debb1110!
Sometimes I respond, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I’m quick about it, other times not. Therefore, I figure that people work on THEIR time, not mine.  | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 12/20/2007 12:59:08 PM | I recently checked out a web site that had detailed info on women on dating sites and their height restrictions. JR at 5'7", you will find that 75% of women will not be interested in you based on height alone. That is before anything else is considered. It really doesn't pay to invest too much emotion in your attempts at first contact.
Put yourself in their shoes. It is an emotional burdon to tell someone you are not interested. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 12/22/2007 4:16:07 PM |
JR at 5'7", you will find that 75% of women will not be interested in you based on height alone.
This seems shallow to me. I guess many women and men are shallow. I base my feelings about the other person on many things, but height is not one of them........unless the man himself is so insecure over his height that HE makes it an issue. When a man is so self condeming over how short he is, then he projects a sense of inferiority that can be felt by all around him.
How many here remember Audie Murphy and how many know how tall he was? Height only becomes an issue to shallow people and to those who project themself as unworthy.
I reply to those who are sincere in their first contact. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 12/22/2007 5:28:12 PM | I end up replying to all. My reply, however, depends on their first contact. For example, "Hey, what's up girl?" or "How are you?" tells me they probably didn't read anything and are probably not really interested in who I am. My replies are short and direct. "Not much" or "Fine". If they really want to know, they ask more, if not, no loss on my end. All it took was a couple seconds and now I know if I've found a new person I'd like to know better or someone that's just looking for fun.
I try not to base entirely on the first contact because I know how difficult it can be to come up with something that will let someone know that you really are interested without setting yourself up. I wait to see what the second contact is (if any) before making any decisions. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 12/22/2007 9:21:53 PM | Dear:
Not personally replying to each and every personal note is simply just plain rude, crude and abussive and a show of bad habits, immaturity and bad manners. Anyone getting blessed with too much email is likely attractive. The fact one is attractive is no excuse for a bad personality (proven to be correlated by repeated psychological studies) and tolerating forming bad habits that lead to clearly women or men behaving badly that will damage and irritate others too. If one gets too much mail one should shut off one's profile till one gets caught up on properly and personally replying to every one. Yes, I do know this bad behavior is the standard upon almost every service but it is exactly the same wrongful inhumane and disgustingly inappropraite bad manners. Yes, this is the same form of bad behavior started in bars by gals thinking men should buy them drinks and that they can reject and act rudely to other humans. There was a book release within the past 3 years in which a woman pretended to be a man. The key point I gained from the author's interview about that book was that the most suprising thing of all to her that she learned during research was how "abominably cruel and insensitive women were to as a man in such meeting situations where she approached them for trying to set up to meet and potentially set up a date!". She was so grossly disgusted that for the rest of her research she only used internet sites since she just could not deal with the negative projections from women in trying to emulate a man so she could do research with some dating for the book.
There is a price to pay for such positive attention. As with wealth it is not appropriate to just immaturely waste it all upon ourselves. Instead adults are supposed to find ways to carry the responsibility attendant with such power and to apply it constructively for the most betterment to others and protect those around us in the process from damage them with these excesses. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 12/22/2007 9:24:57 PM | It really doesn't matter how wonderful a guy 5'7" may be if the search or contact limits set by the woman eliminate him before any contact is actually made. 75% of women eliminate men 5'7" before they would ever make contact. If the guy has not been blocked, chances are, they read as far as "height" and move on. The odd thing is that teaches guys they have nothing to loose by lying about their height. Women who have experienced this, figure a guy saying he is 5'7" may really be 5'4". As long as so many women reward lies, the honest guys are left behind.
If you want an example, all you have to do is look at Bill Clinton. An excellent example of a lying cheater caught many times yet extremely popular with women. I would suggest, if you are upset with non-responses and being rejected by those women you are interested in, then become the person the women are attracted to. Start lying. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 12/22/2007 9:49:09 PM | Chemistry is the ever present EXCUSE for everything!!!!!!
It is the excuse of the lazy, ignorant and spoiled that the other person did not inspire them to be HUMAN!!!!!
It is similar to people complaining about being Bored! You have to be substantially BORRING to get BORED.
We all learn how to create chemistry from the time of Birth and maybe even before!
What a crock of ship!
How could anyone past 21 not know all that!!!
That is why there are so many signs saying "SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING!"
Talk about the good news in legalizing Infanticide!!
My Ma was wise and she drowned all the slow ones before month number two!!! | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 12/22/2007 9:52:47 PM | | Ok, I already know that you are going to get on me for this ahoytheredave, but I've ready through you're history of posts....it's very obvious that you have a problem with you're own height. I personally have dated guys that were shorter than myself and had no issue with it. The only issue I've ever run into are the guys insecurities within themselves. Personally, I really wish you would stop trying to play the victim. It's getting old, and anyone that takes the time to read your post history will also realize that you have a problem with this more than anyone else. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 12/22/2007 11:20:02 PM | Dear:
You are mostly right but then the stuff about Plano TX if I get it right. This is the local common small town incestuous inbreeding. Most people in San Antonio and most larger cities are less into that small stuff. Now do not get me wrong there as many pretentious Asses/1000 here and more but that game just does not play well out in the open here. I could be wrong. Hell I get the feeling most gals are too open minded to the point of being dramatically naive and foolish about things that are real important like financial security. Just think about it. Money is the number one reason for fights in marriages and probably all relationships.
This thread is about people completely doing their homework for gals. That is another area most just learn it is easier to be inappropriate instead of busting their ass so "f--- Y--" I won't even reply.
As far as getting results with good profiles review mine for something distinct difference built around humor from all the unending pain. There are always Excuses for all bad behavior so we need not actually attend to it properly.
There is no reason that gals appropriately would be so foolish in this process (that is other than the overwhelming state of foolishness in humaness). The answer is they are spoiled much as we all are in an affluent decadent society. Bad manners and spoiled children all of us too often.
The real problem is so much simpler and rarely considered. We all were brainwashed with destructive idealistic images and myths about romance and matching. Prince Charming, Snowwhite, the old fifties movies which only dealt with the biggest, hardest, most important part of relationship with the phrase ".....and they lived happily ever after!" We could not teach children more destructive patterns for dealing with the immense challenges and responsibilities of very intimate longterm relationships and CHILDREERING. It is surprising that anyone works out their problems to make a good relationship.
Too often instead of us growing and maturing with the pattern of relationships people just go backsliding to the same old patterns of this ignorant myth based ideology that they started using in teenage dating. It failed miserably in teenage and yet it was in some limited ways partially fun and fullfilling (as good as we know). So we just keep going back to the same well to get barely a different form of the same poisoning.
Many people are so impatient with imperfection they just say screw it and give up on marriages and relationships with children and years of investment. To go into then one after another similar relationship to trip upon the same failed imperfections they refuse to address. They get nowhere like an idiot spinning his wheels one the ice continuously racing the engine for the same miserable failed results.
We have such a appearance fettish that most gals most focus on Movie star quality hygiene, care of complexion, make up and styling in hair, clothes, accessories. This takes so much of their time along with their masculinization in the work place that they have little if any time and attention left for working upon their personality and spiritual work. This makes them beautiful narcicisstic immature children under the surface and veneer. They are great at learning to live a wonderful life but have no accountability for ruining the earth since many men and women poorly understand how to live within their means and be productive not consumptive in their lives.
Let us get back to the point. I have found in a decade of hard work that it is very rare even for a gal to understand that this dating and matching is important. Why put time and effort into it for anything more than entertainment? Dinners, drinks, shows, boating, vacationing all for the taking? Why would anyone work hard to create something of true value when they think others are supposed to cover the tab. No I am not suggesting that most gals are JUST out for a Free lunch (actually a very expensive degrading submissive position to be despised). But old habits die hard especially of preferential treatment and favors when WE DO NOT need to earned or pay for them directly. Even in my own siblings three decades after leaving home the oldest can't really adjust to not getting special considerations from their own younger siblings because they were older and bigger than those younger sibs without earning those now as adults. No one wants to give up the freebies.
I have been very impressed just how many gals have their own support and say that they are not interested in money. What people insist upon often is not the truth but upon the surface there is a common line that they do not need men "for support". Unfortuantely this has transitioned into behavior for a long time that they do not NEED MEN. The basic problem as I said is few women could argue why it is more than nice to have a long term relationship with all the work and trouble it will require. So they have just convinced themselves that they really do not need to try too hard. MOST ARE SIMPLY MOTIVATED TO DO THIS AS ENTERTAINMENT!!! They need no commitment nor passion for that. They can even escape easily if needed and move on down the raod again often better off than the last time. They often are leary of another real commitment despite their words that are easily kept on line but disceptive in many ways. WE HAVE ALL IN THE BIG CITY WITH WORLD CLASS EDUCATIONS HAVE BEEN TRAINED TO BECOME BRILLIANT LIARS WITH CHEAP WORDS, like our past president "WILD" Bill Clinton. The public was so cruel to discuss his personal issues just because the president was didling an underling Intern who legally by posistion and legal standards could not because of the status difference ever be presumed to be able to give any form of legal informed consent. Exactly like a Doctor having sex with a patient where legal consent is legally not possible no matter the intentions words nor situation regardless even if it his wise by state statute of law.
PLANNING AND ACTING TO CREATE A RELATIONSHIP OF EXCELLENCE.
Tough jobs do not just get slaved through getting accomplished by luck alone. People do not race to New Orleans to fix the huge problems there until they might feel it will be their ass bit by the problems. Studies have conclusively shown that after the age of 35 few women have a deep intention towards marriage again. Most have "Been there, done that!" attitudes. Women carry dramatically more of the work and stress of families and mariages too. They see no great deal in doing it again. Men overwhelmingly want after marriage and 35 to marry again. So all of a sudden the odds of finding a gal that will even tolerate coupling for marriage becomes obscene.
So to the finalay. Women do not even recognize more than the convenience in matching for the rest of their lives. They do this dance because they are still barely hormonally driven. Intellectually it would be a rare gal who understood and so then made a plan to override the past patterns of failure towards changing it into a pattern of near certain success if one just paints by the numbers. If we gave gals the story in full it would barely change things as it would be just like Suzy Orman preaching to so many about finances when people rarely are motivated to change unless absolutely life threatened. How many drugees break the habit instead of going stright into the final breaches and death? Did they not know the danger and importance? Well why would they not change???
Well why will they not get serious and with the program?
Find an answer to this part of the human conditions that is near hopeless and the rest is easy!!!
Where have all the Flowers Gone,
long time passing,.........
ben
Ben Kohn
ben
Ben KOhn | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try?
Posted: 12/23/2007 8:44:17 AM | my friend recently got married to a colleague of him. in the first 3 months they ignored each other and disliked each other!...conclusion? you don't know who are the other person until you get to know...
only very simple people -superficial- can get to know quickly. like this guy works, he comes home, drink a beer and watches the telly. pffff. yeah, you know him after 5 minutes. he is like fats food.
some other men and women take much longer time to really know. it's like the real long romantic dinner with candles.
most people eat junk fast food, and don't have the patience to get to know another person really.
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