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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 2/11/2008 10:39:04 AM | Guys, We don't want a good looking guy. We want a great looking guy, who is going to worship us. You may want to try by writing her a poem and redoing your profile. I have talked to many people and most at one time had to redo there profile. Change up on the bait. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 2/12/2008 9:44:51 PM | I think all of these responses are great and all of them are very valid. Its clear that this conversation is more than just women not responding to men. It now includes men not responding to women and the various reasons and agendas for all of our actions. I for one, was always inclined to believe that most of the women I have contacted are so bombarded by mail, from imbeciles and studs alike, that they simply don’t have the time or energy to reply to every mail…or should I say male..lol. However, after reading several posts from my fellow POF denizens, I now understand that there are even more sinister motives at work.
So to make things easier, I think we should stick to some basic rules:
How to make contact (and not ruin it for the rest of us)
1. Read the Profile….yes, the whole thing. You’re already incompatible with 95% of everyone on here. Skipping the actual text doesn’t really help your odds at making a great impression.
2. Determine compatibility by weighing common interests, goals, values, life experience and looks. If you’re 45, divorced, bald with two kids in college, the 23 year old student who likes the Jonas Brothers is probably not going to be a love connection. A good rule of thumb: If you wouldn’t initiate contact in a public place, you probably shouldn’t do it here either. Especially if you’re on parole or some sort of mental health break. In this world of virtual anonymity, the boldness of the male species has almost no bounds. Sir, restrain thy self.
3. Write a short introduction, a note, describing your desire to get to know more about them. Include specific details about her profile that validate your many compatibilities. “You’re Hot” is not one of them. Neither is “Hey, you’re really hot”
4. That’s it. Just sit back and wait for the waterfall of love to cascade over your falls. Ok…that part may or may not happen. It’s all over, but the crying. But, luckily that’s all that’s really required of you.
And if your pleas for affection are denied. Your message left unread, deleted or heaven forbid, both. What you simply can’t do is wage an unending shock & awe campaign of email bombs in an effort to force a capitulation response. “Why, why can’t she see that we are perfect for each other?“ You lament. Why, why do you care? Ten sorties of emails in two minutes is not a demonstration of your unyielding will or the dominion of a man who will not be denied. It’s the pathetic moan of a desperate **stard, grasping for the last vestiges of his manhood. Grab your boys and yank hard. This will certainly confirm your gender, and jolt you back to reality.
Remember. She doesn’t owe you a response…and you probably don’t deserve one. So move on. She didn’t get it. She didn’t get you … or she did and just didn’t like it. Just know that she missed the only chance she’ll ever have to get to know the unique, genuine, wonderful person that is you. So lift that chin, put your game face on and write another email…just not to her.
But then again… why listen to me? I rarely ever get a response anyway.
I am pretty sure that I know this…if there is some thing, a thought, a word, a concept or idea, a funny quip, a story that could disarm a resolute mind or warm a heart, an emotional tie that could bind a fleeing hand, a wisdom or philosophy to tempt the inner soul, that could somehow, someway inspire a response - well, I'm sure I don't know what it is.
Anyways... At the end of the day, this is just a site where you get to interact with people that you would normally never meet in daily life. More than likely, you won’t meet the love of your life on POF. You’ll stumble upon that perfect stranger in a store, at church, a concert or waiting in a bank line. But while we are here, lets show a little civility and respect. It will make our time here much more enjoyable. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 2/13/2008 3:50:16 AM | sublime, that was so well written that the majority of men who write to me wouldn't be able to follow past the second sentence. i'm not asking for everyone to have a grad degree...but perhaps you could add something about using spell check at least? :) sjc | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 2/13/2008 5:33:23 AM | I would have figured sublime as sort some of very left-brain type. And, not to denigrate anything he said – especially as he and I are quite similar – but that simply isn’t the real world, nor is it the virtual world here. Except for the observation that “they simply don’t have the time or energy to reply to every mail”. Would that it be a perfect world, yes, such a procedure *might* be welcome, but I for one, don’t like to follow rules. A closet anarchist?!? (And, I don’t like no “stinkin’ badges” either.) Then again, he’s a new fishie to the pond and after… oh, say, 6 months, let’s see how he feels. But sir, your profile reads excellent, and knowing several of the ladies in the Dallas area, you seem like a class act and should do very well.  | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 2/13/2008 9:37:33 AM | Sublime, you hit on it very well.
Yeah, the "baby you are so beautiful" email just isn't enough to get me going (especially when I go to the profile and there is no information there either). It just rings of a bar pick up line. The no response from the female is the net version of a weird look and running over to safety by her friends or a drink thrown in the face. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 2/13/2008 10:49:51 AM | O.K. i've read all the above, and some of what y'all say is true, it's hard to believe all you ladies get so much mail, y'all can't send some kind of reply, like no thanks, before i send a message, i do read the profile, and for the most part, i do get a reply, some i don't, and after reading some of these ladies post, it's an eye opener, thanks, i know i need not send y'all anykind of a message...OUCH, i think some of you do Bite, anyway, Guy's read the profile, and post's like this, and save you time, i know you have better thing's to do with it...man i Love the FORUM'S.... | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 2/13/2008 11:10:46 AM | Now don't get me wrong, I do reply to sincere contacts. I have even replied to some of the "one-liners" types. I think it is the polite thing to do when a guy takes the gamble of making contact. However, since I'm also one who will make first contact (boy that sounds Star Trekkish) and get no response as well, maybe I'm aware of how it feels not to hear back.
One thing that is difficult (I'm sure for the men as well as the women) is when someone contacts you and you look at their profile and just feel that feeling that says no, he isn't it, trying to find the right way to say thanks but no thanks in a sincere but kind way. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 2/13/2008 11:19:42 AM | Oh yeah Guy's...and after you read there profile, read there...MUST NOT LIST...and if they go into the Forums, read all of the reply's in that little block, it will tell you alot about the woman your looking at, don't judge by the picture...I know some goodlooking women, I wouldn't trust with a Broken Watch... | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 2/15/2008 10:40:49 AM | | What gets me is the profiles of women that say they answer all emails. I've been waiting a long time for those emails. I've only been on this site for a few days but I guess the women here are the same as on other sites. I respond to all emails, even though I don't get as many as some women. I've even sent thank yous for sending me an answer to my email saying she wasn't interested. Seems like the thing to do. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 2/15/2008 10:47:55 AM | | I've used the You're too far away line as a reason to reject prople that I don't find interesting. You can even tell a little white lie and say you've found someone and aren't looking for any new friends at the moment. Where there's a will there's a way, don't leave anyone hanging. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 2/15/2008 12:17:33 PM | | Im one of those women that DO respond to ALL emails even one liners out of respect and common courtesy.Out of the many I have responded to first only 2 have responded back.I figure if you took the time to write the LEAST I can do is answer,even if we arent a match. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 2/18/2008 9:13:12 AM | Nice theory Sublime1833, but in practise nothing comes of it.
Watching the nightly news, it appears to me what women in Texas really want are convicted sex offenders... seems like there's always a story of another woman that got assaulted or murdered by her sex offender boyfriend! LMAO!
I also find it totally amazing that OJ Simpson has a girlfriend who he's been dating since his original trial in LA for killing his ex-wife and her boyfriend... how in the world does a man who's been charged with killing his ex-wife (even though he manged to get out of the charges) have a girlfriend??? And she's HOT no less!
Well anyhows I gave up today and wiped my pics and other info from my profile. I'm not blaming the website for things, it's nicely designed and the theory is sound... but reality is there's nobody here for me and never will be unless I can get convicted of a felony I guess. It's an insane world I swear.
Regards and best wishes peeps. The site admins can delete my profile whenever they like, as I can't find a "Delete My Profile" button anywere. Oh well....
- Michael  | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 2/18/2008 8:34:40 PM | oh wow...i'm in texas and i don't date sex offenders. in fact, i run my date's name thru the sex offender registry before the date...usually i ask for his full name before i even agree to let him phone me so i can run it thru. if we have a date and click i most likely run his name thru the police system..unfortunately i learned my lesson the hard way with a married man.
btw....LOLOLOL secret... | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 4/10/2008 2:05:46 PM | | for one... maybe it would help if you put a picture up.. they say that has 75% to do with it.. you cant date someone you arnt attracted too.. so try that.. i promise youll get more responses. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 4/10/2008 4:07:04 PM | "But allot of the women on this I see that are not of quality people to meet.'
Gee, that explains why men aren't interested, I am not of quality. Why do I even bother joining these sites?
Oh and btw, allot is really spelled a lot.  | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 4/10/2008 9:04:06 PM | Ok.. I can finally honestly reply to this thread after gettin an email from a woman who prefers women... ahem..
but I did send a polite.. no thank you... granted my profile is open to ALL... because I hosted a party and being a female... I know how comforting it is to be able to make initial contact FIRST before going to an event... just in case. I have some great female friends but never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd get "hit on" from another female... at least she is respectful and accepted my response and is from out of state! Now.. what to do??? No email from men...really dont want any from women... exactly what am I for? | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 4/12/2008 12:18:47 AM | | Unfortunately there ae some people(women) who are all that or at least they think so.Have you reviewed your profile.I'm not trying to be funny.I would simply picture the most attractive woman you can think of and look at the screen as it were her eyes.Look deep into her eyes and write down what you want only her to hear.Women do not want a caveman,or a geek.They want to feel secure.This to them is very important. To us men it may not make any sense.Email me your profile and I'll look into it if you want to give you some pointers if you want.In your first introduction Email be short.For example Howzit going.You want it to be innocent so they will answer.But what ever you do no matter how baeutiful the woman is do not mention anything related to sex.It will turn them off quick. The ones it doesn't turn off I wouldn't give them the time of day.Offer your phone number if you feel comfortable.Don't ask for hers. She may think he wants sex only and nothing else and it may spook them.You may get "Can I call you" you may also get a phone number in response.If you do ask if she would like to talk on the phone she will let you know.It may sound wierd but ask your mother or sister or even a friend of the femal persuasion for advice. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 4/14/2008 12:32:14 PM | Hey sublime great post! Love what you wrote here, "And if your pleas for affection are denied. Your message left unread, deleted or heaven forbid, both. What you simply can’t do is wage an unending shock & awe campaign of email bombs in an effort to force a capitulation response. “Why, why can’t she see that we are perfect for each other?“ You lament. Why, why do you care? Ten sorties of emails in two minutes is not a demonstration of your unyielding will or the dominion of a man who will not be denied. It’s the pathetic moan of a desperate **stard, grasping for the last vestiges of his manhood. Grab your boys and yank hard. This will certainly confirm your gender, and jolt you back to reality" (sublime 2008).
It is also a CONTROL ISSUE as well when guys or girls try to bombard someone with tons of e-mails. They are trying to MAKE someone like them. We all know that you can never MAKE or CONTROL anyone. (does not apply to people who abuse others they control thru fear) | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 4/20/2008 5:24:56 AM | | Okay, for me it's about interest. Spark my attention when you first make contact... tell me something interesting about yourself, and why you chose me over all of the other possibilities out there. Look, I'm not the most attractive female on this here website, but I'm not the ugliest woman in the world ither. I don't want a "hey, loved your profile, we should talk"... Why did you like my profile, what was so damn interesting or endearing to you to make you want to contact me. I'm not desperate, but I'm not full of myself either. Put some thought into what you want to say. | |
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| Why do most women not reply or give it a try? Posted: 5/10/2008 7:16:46 AM | Someone once said that women want 1 man to satisfy her every want and desire while men want every woman to satisfy there 1 need and desire! :P
I think one of the most important things people need to realize about dating sites is this: WE CHOOSE THIS AS A LAST RESORT! :P
I'd bet that at least 90% of the people on any given dating site have had multiple disastrous relationships because they chose the wrong people to date. Take a look at the absurd number of single mothers on this site, for instance. By the time they decide to post on a singles site, they've been through the wringer enough times that not just anyone will do. Now, this is an idealistic approach and very flawed, as we're all human. But I've been in plenty of conversations where my picture was not offered and we hit it off really well, then they see my pic and I never hear from them again. And this holds true for all types of women (I, myself, am not that picky! :P) I've talked with the skinny, average, fat, pretty, ugly, the whole spectrum.
This is a generalization, just like the rest of the posts, so no offense to anyone it doesn't apply to, but to me, it seems that women do tend to be more shallow when it comes to dating sites...not that men aren't..but men are usually shallow, regardless! :P
I honestly prefer not to show my pic until I've had a few conversations with a girl online, that way she knows what she's missing if she tosses me aside because of my appearance.
The Game
The goal of most men Is simply to score Whatever the sport They want nothing more
When the subject is women It's just another game Looking to score The goal is the same
Although they are aware They still play along Thinking in the end That they will be strong
Women create the player By living in his rules Instead of being queens They settle for being fools
Men are opportunists Only doing what they must Working to indulge Their never-ending lust
Who is to blame The women or the men How did this game get started And will it ever end | |
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