| | LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?Page 8 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) | ^^^^^I was thinking more of how women come across in their posts than in their profiles, but I agree with almost everything you say. I'm always striking up conversations and making friends with people I meet in person, too. But--I find most of them are either married or involved with someone. And I don't know why single women I meet in person, rather than online, should be less likely to be jaded about previous relationships.
You're right about the danger of basing judgments about the opposite sex on what happens here. It's easy to start believing what I see here is more typical of what women in general think, and how they act, than it really is.
Seeing so much negative sentiment tends to make you cautious about making contact. I've had women I've met online do some very unpleasant things. This isn't the place to detail them, but they pretty much happened out of the blue. Sometimes I felt like these women were just waiting for some guy to come along so they could unload on him. And here I'd thought most women actually liked men and were sweet, nice, and considerate of people's feelings. | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/2/2010 11:12:50 AM | And I don't know why single women I meet in person, rather than online, should be less likely to be jaded about previous relationships.
Well, I think they could be more jaded online because they are surrounded
by threads and posts of he did/she did me wrong. The threads also give people
a place to rant and vent and thus relive the relationship over and over again
while sharing their "experiences" with others.
Just seems to me in real life your friends will listen to you only so long
and will then give you a proverbial slap and tell you to snap out of it.
In here. lamenting a lost relationship is encouraged if only because it
contributes to the thread fodder.
Everyone deals in their own way I guess.
and PS on topic. looks become less important as we age, at least as far as
I'm concerned. I think people tend to focus too much on looks frankly,
when the reality is (at least for me) I can be attracted to a guy because he's
interesting, funny, or has intriguing hobbies or a weird family. Looks really
do fade, but personality usually shines forever.
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/2/2010 1:29:48 PM |
...how important are looks?
Today I noticed my eyes really aren't seeing as well as they did in my youth.
Just one of those little things you notice.. nothing serious.
But who knows, as I get older eventually I may view everything with a bit of a blur/softness around it...
.. and I'll be able to say,
"I knew all along that people's 'looks' didn't matter!" | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/2/2010 1:47:53 PM | If we're going to judge by society's standards, no one looks all that great after 45. Maybe some top actress or model still looks amazing - but they were amazing-looking when they were young, as well.
For me - I look for signs of intelligence and humour behind the ubiquitious grey hair. A great smile has always been a turn-on. And a great body is hot, no matter what age. (I keep telling myself that while I'm lifting weights...it's all about muscles when you're over 45.) | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/2/2010 2:07:15 PM |
Just seems to me in real life your friends will listen to you only so long
and will then give you a proverbial slap and tell you to snap out of it.
... and I have a friend and his wife who did that for me. Wanna see the bruise? I still have it. 
I can be attracted to a guy because he's interesting, funny, or has intriguing hobbies or a weird family.
... wish there were more women like you because you are not of the norm in here and especially out there in the real world. | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/2/2010 3:06:46 PM |
... wish there were more women like you because you are not of the norm in here and especially out there in the real world.
Oh, I don't know about that. My experience has been that, the more intelligent women appear to be attracted to intelligent men. Of course, an intelligent woman is more of a handful than a not so intelligent one, so there may be important tradeoffs to be considered..... | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/2/2010 3:40:04 PM | | I must admit that I am kind of surprised how many of the still good looking women from my high-school days are married to or going out with guys with large bellies, gray hair or no hair, full faces, and lousy looking skin. In their facebook photos they are hanging on to each other. Maybe people try to make themselves look happier or closer than they truly are when on facebook, but still . . I wonder what a woman truly thinks when her guy has let himself go. And many guys have let themselves go by their fifties. | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/2/2010 4:39:54 PM |
Of course, an intelligent woman is more of a handful than a not so intelligent one, so there may be important tradeoffs to be considered.....
The biggest problem is that it may be harder for us men to put things over on them. Just have to turn our game up a notch . . . | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/2/2010 5:05:12 PM | | Looks are important at any age. Beauty is like "Art" very subjective and there fore different from one person to another. What I find attractive another person might scoff at. I always thought Donald Sutherland the actor was very sexy! It sometimes has nothing at all to do with how handsome the man is. Some men just have a certain "Je ne sais quoi" about them, it cannot be explained. | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/5/2010 9:19:50 AM |
Looks are important at any age. Beauty is like "Art" very subjective and there fore different from one person to another.
Something for everyone. Anyone who says that looks aren't important is not being honest with themselves. I know that for me, if someone's looks turn me off...no amount of talking will change that. There are some people you just have no rapport with. Perhaps it is chemical. | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/5/2010 2:32:15 PM | | I just looked up an old flame who I dated in College. She is still fantastic looking. On her second marriage to a guy who is bald, fat and ugly imho. He must be a hell of a guy, because looks wise she is way out of his league. | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/5/2010 4:50:56 PM | Attraction is all subjective and does evolve over time.
When I was 20 I met a man I thought looked like Frankenstein, thought "two bolts on the side of the neck completes the picture". Two wks later I was dating him, at that point I thought he looked like Clint Eastwood in his early days. Why? his personality, way he treated people around him, where I thought his morality was. Didn't last, turn out he could paint deceptive picture, he was just as much a player as some of the good looking men I had dated. I wouldn't have sex with him after 1 month of dating so he dumped me for someone who would, then dumped her, and so on. Point is, good looking or not, personality, morality, will change your how you see them.
The face and hair aren't really important to me, for me its all about the muscle!!!!
Its not just how they look (and feel), if you've taken the time to build them (muscles) your also in good health, and lets face it, as we get older, health really is a very important issue, quality of life issue. I make a point to stay in shape and healthy and I want my man to as well, so for me thats good looking.
And I am happy to hear of women who don't find bald men attactive, all the more for me (as long as they have a bunch of muscles!!!)
Men, if you don't have women, build muscles, we will come!!!!
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/6/2010 1:54:37 AM |
I just looked up an old flame who I dated in College. She is still fantastic looking. On her second marriage to a guy who is bald, fat and ugly imho. He must be a hell of a guy, because looks wise she is way out of his league.
Ever heard of Cyrano de Bergerac? | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/6/2010 6:31:39 AM | Or have you heard of Gérard Depardieu? He played the role of Cyrano de Bergerac in the film of that name, as well Bernard in the film "Too Beautiful For You" along with Carole Bouquet.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G%C3%A9rard_Depardieu | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/6/2010 10:53:24 AM | | For me its about looks but not the way you think.... For me its a certain kind of look. One that shows the guy is confident yet relaxed and has most of his pics showing a huge smile. He has to dress as if he takes care of himself but does not primp for hours. He has to be clean and his hair has to be maintained. I don't care if hes balled or long it has to be neat. At our age life happens so if he is out of shape like me he has to want to improve that and we can work together on our fitness. | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 11/6/2010 12:10:42 PM |
Today I noticed my eyes really aren't seeing as well as they did in my youth.
Same here. I seem to not even notice the 20/30-something hardbodies but my vision is clear for 40/50-somethings with grey hair, some tummy, and wrinkles. And OMG! if he can string together an engaging conversation in person or in writing he captures my entire focus. My 'vision' has aged along with my body.
I don't care if hes balled a magnanimous attitude, but you can bet he does.
Best laugh of the day! Thanks COAC. | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 12/1/2010 5:20:56 PM | You know, what one person finds physically attractive, another one doesn't.
I still subscribe to there has to be some physical chemistry with a person you find attractive.
Relating to and kindness are part of it, but not all of it... | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 12/2/2010 12:51:32 PM |
Today I noticed my eyes really aren't seeing as well as they did in my youth.
A true story:
A husband in a couple my parents socialize with had a cataract removal surgery. When he recovered he looked at his wife very attentively and said: “Oh, you have so many wrinkles”…
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 12/7/2010 8:37:30 AM | | Sometimes looks are important, because that first impression of looks can tell you if that person is a slob or takes care of their self. Ive had women email me and say why are you emailing me..your old n ugly?? | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 12/8/2010 8:31:33 PM | I need to feel some sort of attraction, that's a fact....but at the same time I look for other redeeming qualities as well. I'm a pretty upbeat, happy person (most of the time) and I would want someone much like myself. I don't have room for negativity in my life. A good looking person can also be ugly.
A Korean proverb says, "After 40 years, everyone is responsible for his/her face." It means if someone is always smiling, his/her looks are going to change to a smiling face.
...mae | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 12/13/2010 1:16:51 AM | It will always be the fugly, short, unkept guy that will vie for some very attractive woman...
If someone lined up a stage with a gorgeous brunette, a blonde and black haired beauty a 10 in every way......opposite these beauties were some blonde, brunette, and black haired overweight homey looking dumplings, where will the guys go to first? | |
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| LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 12/13/2010 4:12:28 PM |
It will always be the fugly, short, unkept guy that will vie for some very attractive woman...
If someone lined up a stage with a gorgeous brunette, a blonde and black haired beauty a 10 in every way......opposite these beauties were some blonde, brunette, and black haired overweight homey looking dumplings, where will the guys go to first?
I actually thought about what you wrote and this is assuming that everyone would have the same ideal of what a 10 is for beauty.
 Honestly, I would leave and not play the game and offend someone for someone else; and it's nothing about my being offended. And we know the beautiful women would only be interested in attractive men--because first impressions are everything--and so would the other women as well. | |
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