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 brattymx3
Joined: 4/24/2009
Msg: 51
Is online dating a waste of time for men?Page 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
as for jamisond's post, i so agree, so many guys (i sopose women too but i'm not looking and meeting women) put old pics on there ad, you talk to them on the phone and them seem pretty nice, then u meet in person and they look about 10 to 15 yrs older than their pics and dont have much to say or wont look at me when they are talking to me, that really bugs me, i was taught to always look someone in the eyes when i am talking to them. one guy later told me i was just so beautiful he cldnt look me in the eyes when talking to me, PPPLLLLEEEEEZZZZZEEE!!!!
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 52
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 9:03:05 AM
[quote ]This is inaccurate. There are no super models on this site.

How do you know for sure. Supermodels need entertainment to, they could be disguised as anyone without a picture or with someone elses picture. Some average Joes and Janes post supermodels pics on their profile to draw attention so why not the other way around just for a laugh. I can say for sure there are some women on this site who pose for their photo's as if they think they are supermodels and I am sure the same could be said for some men.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 53
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 9:25:17 AM
^^^^ to have a glimpse into the trials and tribulations of the common man and woman perhaps. People seem to be drawn to the lives of the rich and famous and it bears no resemblance to their own. It's not beyond comprehension that someone in the rich and famous see our lives as entertaining
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 54
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 11:47:50 AM
I found it fairly easy to meet women online. How well you do probably depends on how well you write and your attitude more than anything else.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 55
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 1:31:36 PM

Even so, I don't see what supermodels would possibly want to do on a lousy free dating site.

i've seen astoundingly attractive women on dating sites, including here, with photos rough enough around the edges to look real (and attitudes to match, usually).

I'm sure they have much better things to do with their time.

time management seems to be the point. my guess is these people are getting so many offers, they need software to manage them.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 56
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 2:13:48 PM
Am kinda getting the idea, at least in my neck o' the woods, that the whole Online Dating "thang" is basically a "waste of time" (if not worse). And not due to "quantity" or whatever, but just because there seems to be so much general "flakiness' out there in online dating, and certainly among my own more "mature" singles population.

Overall the sense I get, is that precisely because it is anonymous, "safe", and inexpensive/or free (with little invested), online dating seems to attract alot more of the kinds of folks who probably don't do human relationships or bond so well to begin with.

I tried online dating for awhile after relocating , but just personally have had much better luck (and better quality) the "old-fashioned" way... "IRL" (in real life) meeting people thru friends, volunteering, activities, etc.. But if dating online has managed to work for someone else, hey more power to 'em!
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 57
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 3:17:20 PM
Dating, diets, working out, learning, being successfully are all a waste of time if you THINK they are!

Whether you think you CAN or think you CAN'T... you are correct!
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 58
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 3:55:16 PM

Even so, I don't see what supermodels would possibly want to do on a lousy free dating site. I'm sure they have much better things to do with their time.

Ya...like binging and purging
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 59
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 4:15:56 PM
[like binging and purging/]

lol
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 60
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 4:16:44 PM
[/like binging and purging/]

lol
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 61
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 6:01:23 PM
Re: "You CAN", etc..... the Power of Positive Thinking (aka "The Secret") is fine and all that, but knowing when to Hold 'Em (and when to Fold 'Em) is just as important (sometimes maybe more so....). But personally, I prefer the metaphor of picking the "sport" (and the arena) that best suits you. For example not everybody's tall enuff that they necessarily CAN be a basketball great!
 Sorted_In_Suffolk
Joined: 8/25/2010
Msg: 62
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 4:35:04 AM
misterdynomite said:


When i was ''looking'' & msging women... i got no replies. No big deal.

Now that my profile clearly says ''not here for dating.. just for the forums'' and now that i'm dating in the real world, i'm getting pm's for dating pretty often and i don't even want 'em. i'd rather just come for the forums.

funny how that works.


A light-bulb went on above my head when I read this.

Check out my newly updated profile.

I may not get any messages by backing off completely, but I have definitely had enough of messaging hundreds of completely dis-interested women.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 63
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 4:42:46 AM

I prefer the metaphor of picking the "sport" (and the arena) that best suits you. For example not everybody's tall enuff that they necessarily CAN be a basketball great!


Here's a few "SHORT" guys that might not have ever tried if you were their parent or coach!

Muggsy Bogues is 5' 3" and played from 1987 to 2001. He's the shortest player ever in NBA history.

Earl Boykins is 5' 5" and played for 8 NBA teams from 1998 to 2008.

Spud Webb is 5' 6" and played from 1985 to 1998. He won the NBA slam dunk championship in 1986

Calvin Murphy is 5' 9" and played from 1970 to 1983. He is a member of the Basketball Hall of Fame.

Nate Robinson is 5' 9" and has played 5 seasons with the New York Knicks from 2004 to 2009. He was recently resigned by the Knicks to a 1 year contract.

Perhaps they're not all "greats" but they surpassed a bunch of tall guys pursuing the same dream, many of those tall guys never got to play as a pro.

There are all sorts of people who overcome their shortcomings despite the odds... James Earle Jones stuttered as a child, now he's one of the best speakers out there!

Saying there's a reason you can't excel at something is an excuse...if you want it bad enough, you can get it! You may have to work twice as hard as the next person though... it's called CHARACTER.


 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 64
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 4:50:02 AM
The most I get in a day is about 5 - but most of them only say "Hi" with a dancing banana

...not sure if that actually counts as a message...
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 65
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 6:03:38 AM

This isn`t a contest! Why do you care how many messages a women receives?
It takes only one to find the happy place in life!


Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner! What do we have for him Johnny? Well Burt, we have this lovely BRAIN...and since we KNOW he uses them....

...finally!
 HardwoodFloorBoard
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 66
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 9:04:37 AM
"Nobody ever said dating is easy, it takes work, understanding and you have to be yourself.
I wouldn't worry too much.
Eventually, you'll find the right one!"

So which is it? Does finding someone require pro-active effort, as you explicitly state?

Or is it something that "just happens", as your last two sentences imply?

I'd guess a lot of folks are initially attracted to online dating because it has the reputation of being easier than meeting someone in "Real Life", and only find out how much effort it takes after they try it.
 weathervanes
Joined: 3/31/2010
Msg: 67
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 10:00:14 AM
Yep, total waste of time.....where's the logic in sending lots of messages and being ignored?.....
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 68
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 1:24:48 PM

where's the logic in sending lots of messages and being ignored?


So put together a profile telling who you ARE and who you WANT and don't want... then sit back and DO the ignoring! Lol! Just kidding, don't ignore them, ...at least let them know you are or are not interested. This way only women that like your picture and your profile will contact you. hopefully they actually match what you want. Don't get discouraged if they don't.... remember you're only looking for ONE right?
 gideonjoe
Joined: 9/3/2010
Msg: 69
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 1:45:23 PM
Its not a waste of time. I believe in utilizing all resources for dating including using online dating sites. But my policies remain the same as the real world. I am here seeking a "Soulmate" Platonic women need not apply, thanks for playing!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 70
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 6:13:51 PM

Dating, diets, working out, learning, being successfully are all a waste of time if you THINK they are!

Whether you think you CAN or think you CAN'T... you are correct


Matters of the heart can in no way shape or form be related to a generic "rah rah" sports/life feel good statement. You can NOT compare falling in love (or dating)at all with diets, learning, working out, or whatever else ya want to throw out there. Of course if you think the "numbers" game is part of finding the "one",,,they maybe we can talk about the train who thought he could,,,,but, we all know the numbers game is NOT THE WAY(and if it was the way for some,,,it isn't for everyone) In other words, you can be putting a 110%(how about that for a cliche???) HONEST effort here, and that is NOT a guarantee for "success".

Look at Mr. Big Fish and his efforts to help maximize OUR success here in the pond. He's tried numerous "tactics" telling us how it will alllllllll work for us. And I do give him a pat on the back for the effort, but, personally, I don't see it working, if for any reason,,,,these are matters of the heart(not the brain). There is no "secret" formula in the laws of attraction with humans. If there is,,,please show me the way.

I don't consider being in this pond as "a waste of time", for a couple of reasons. I learn here,,,,a lot actually. I also have a lot of my thoughts and beliefs about people here in North America reconfirmed. It's hell, but it is good to know I'm not off in my thinking about the majority of people. Once in awhile though it would good to be proven wrong. When that happens(and it has a couple of times here) I then wish the person that did prove me wrong wasn't half way across this continent.
Read the words that have been spoken here,,,all the advice we are giving. Yeah,,,the single people giving out advice about how well the dating goes here. Ummmmm,,,,sound a little retarded?????? I think it does. Personally I would say to anyone about this place(and those like it),,,,"it is what is". Not,,,,"you get what you put into it"(that's a crock), or any other generic "ra ra" statement ya wanna throw out there. It's not a football game.(well, it isn't to the people that ARE actually looking for that "one" )
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 71
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 6:28:39 PM
Abelian is quite correct! I have never once responded to a "hey wanna meet & get laid?" message, but an amusing few lines, well written, with no spelling errors?
 wolftxusa
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 72
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 6:32:03 PM
"the single people giving out advice about how well the dating goes here. Ummmmm,,,,sound a little retarded??????"
Not at all. Think about it logically: In my eight years of marriage I have been with one woman and I have not looked left and right - on the contrary, I evaded situations that could remotely resemble a dating environment or an interested female. In the six years after the divorce, I had my more than fair share of dates and met many different quality women 'from scratch', namely via dating. Most from online dating to be precise. Ahh, the memories... I feel thoroughly competent to speak of and about mistakes people make in the dating scene, largely because I learned the hard way. If I meet the right one, I am probably better equipped to make an opportunity happen because I have gone through it a few times.

Once you meet her, it doesn't matter how you did or how often it did not work out before. There are no guarantees, but I am more approachable and laid back than I ever was because of this experience. Now if you want advice on how to make a marriage last you should visit a nursing home. For dating the people of POF are an extremely good resource.
 Super_Eve
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 73
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 7:02:51 PM

REDDRAGON wrote:

I use to get 5 or 6 dirty emails a day from women.........................I'm glad it's over...


So I have dropped down to only once a week...big whoop.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 74
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 7:31:50 PM
The whole point of saying whether you think you can or think you can't is simply saying your attitude matters!
Face it, if you DON'T think it will work, your negativity will make it the truth either by people being repelled by the outward negativity or you may find yourself sabotaging things without even realizing it.
 greatfnguy
Joined: 8/14/2010
Msg: 75
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 7:50:36 PM

Is online dating a waste of time for men?

Depends on how you look at it.

If you want to meet and date mentally healthy, sane, normal, rational adults I'd say it's a waste of time 90% of the time.

If you want to see a model on how to attract a bunch of eyeballs in order to generate revenue, be entertained, kill time at your desk at work while waiting for a phone call, look at pictures as though they were mugshots to possibly know who to avoid when out in public, and discover phrasing and beliefs that when you encounter something similar in general chat with someone IRL you know to run away as quick as possible (IOW you need a handbook on who not to date and how to spot them) I would say it's not a waste of time.


So since the odds are not good for your average Joe should average men even bother with online dating?

Theoretically and mathematically the odds of meeting someone to date IRL are far worse.

IRL you only have access to those within a certain distance of you, you don't know who is married, in a relationship, or a lesbian. Also all of the people aren't concentrated in one place so there is a lot of traveling involved. Plus most people would feel awkward if going to a bookstore and hitting on a woman, the woman next to her, and a woman next to that one, and a woman beside her as well, all in a row.

Whereas online the majority of people here have been filtered into categories of straight, single, all in one place, and from all over the world, and you can contact them at your convenience rather than when fate or coincidence happens to put you in the same place together.

So

since the odds are not good for your average Joe should average men even bother with online dating?

If we are basing it on odds people shouldn't attempt to date at all.
Based on odds people probably shouldn't ever have left the womb.
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