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 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 26
Long Term CelibacyPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Not having sex for years in your late twenties is very different
than not having sex in your sixties.

Not wanting to have it and not being able to have it is the difference

ED is rampant, but not many guys want to come out and tell you

I'm sure you've heard what they say? Use IT or lose IT?? Haven't you?

Whatever, you are going for it anyway,

I'm sure having SEX with a man that hasn't had it , for whatever reason, in eight years
will be fantanstic

and

the INTIMACY with one that has not had a relationship in 20 years mind blowing too
this guy has been on his own since he was forty and you think it'll be like a walk in the park, having him as a BF?

Go OP, let us know, what it is.

It sounds like you found a perfect 61 year old man

You are that woman at the antiques road show, with the story about how she found
this object in a dark basement covered with cobwebs and doesn't think It's worth anything, but she brings it to the expert anyway and he tells her it's worth hundreds of thousandsof dollars,
and she just found it lying there covered in years dust, what a find!

Congrats!
 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 27
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 11:34:45 AM
Did he say he hasn't had sex with anyone in that time. or did he specifically say he had not had sex with a woman, or women, in that time? If he is having gay sex he could truthfully declare that he has not been with a woman, and still have had sex earlier that day with the mailman. If he owns a large dog the chances of the mailman wanting to come into his house may be slim. You need more details. You could hire a private detective to monitor his trash looking for what kind and quantities of dog food he buys. That's probably the best place to start.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 1:20:05 PM
I don't see what the problem is...
I know a few guys who worked a lot of shift work who went years without opportunity... It's hard to date on a steady afternoon shift for example... especially when that can include friday afternoons...
When they did find time to date they wanted someone WORTH the effort and the time.... If you don't have a lot of free time, you tend to use it wisely...

I dated a woman who had gone 4 years without sex, and another that had gone 12 years without... They just didn't want to settle.... They wanted the person they slept with to be important enough to them....

Too many people are trying to create problems when there may be none...
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 29
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 2:17:23 PM
I must admit I did have similar thoughts that the man was probably priming the pump sorta speak..

thecatsmeoww
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 30
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 3:15:04 PM
I don't even know why men here are talking about knowing
women who were not having sex for 12 years and there was nothing wrong with them

Most WOMEN don't THINK about sex every TWO minutes
8 years of thinking about sex every two minutes, without "having" it= a guy who is telling LOTS of lies
to himself and others
 tj_0142
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 31
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 3:19:12 PM
you see thats the problem, did you ask him if it works?
Maybe you will re awaken a wonderful world for both of you.

Maybe eight years will burst a damn of pleasure for both of you
 clockwork lime
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 32
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 3:29:29 PM

I don't even know why men here are talking about knowing
women who were not having sex for 12 years and there was nothing wrong with them

Most WOMEN don't THINK about sex every TWO minutes
8 years of thinking about sex every two minutes, without "having" it= a guy who is telling LOTS of lies
to himself and others


Horseradish.

54% of men think about sex everyday or several times a day, 43% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 4% less than once a month (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).

http://www.iub.edu/~kinsey/resources/FAQ.html

46% of males think about sex less than once a day.
Maybe one day you'll have something intelligent to post.
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 33
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 3:49:35 PM

Most WOMEN don't THINK about sex every TWO minutes
8 years of thinking about sex every two minutes, without "having" it= a guy who is telling LOTS of lies
to himself and others

Wow. How does one know with such certainty the sexual thoughts of complete and total strangers?

As an aside, a recent survey of 4000 women reports the following answers to the question "How many times a day do you think about sex?":
6 to 20 times = 42.2%
2 to 5 = 38.2%
21+ = 10.9%
of note, roughly the same percentage think about it 30+ times a day (4%) as think about it once a day (4.4%) or don't think about it every day (4.2%).

It's a wonder any of these "oversexed" people manage to get anything else done besides thinking about sex.
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 34
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 4:17:15 PM
Yeah, no doubt all this wonderful studies, are performed by MEN, maybe??
No, it can't be! If it is in writing and percentages are shown , it has to be the truth, right?
Silly me, you are so right! I have nothing intelligent to say after you came back with your mighty percentages.


You guys are right
This 61 year old is in "mint" condition, low milage and ready to GO!
I wish I was the OP
Darnt it!

There is a REASON, people stay by themselves, for long periods of time
Nobody is going to come out and say
I'm just a miserable bas, tard,
or a mighty bee otch!
I can't even stand my OWN company, much less a woman's
or I just can't get it up anymore, so I keep to myself

NOOOO! It has to be the noble approach

"I'm so good and so picky and have such high standarts
I just choosed to keep myself pristine , just for YOU my darling"!
What..ever!
 clockwork lime
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 35
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 4:24:40 PM

Yeah, no doubt all this wonderful studies, are performed by MEN, maybe??

Lol, why am I not surprised that you have never heard of the Kinsey Reports?


The Kinsey Reports, which together sold three-quarters of a million copies and were translated in thirteen languages, may be considered as part of the most successful and influential scientific books of the 20th century.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_Reports

I suppose it's a well kept secret from the ignorant masses.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 36
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 4:59:16 PM
There is always the Hite Report 2004 edition if you want something more up to date where a woman was involved. Apparently this and other editions have sold a total of over 48 million copies.
 clockwork lime
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 37
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 5:30:10 PM

(some of which did not exist at the time the Kinseys performed their work -their reports were issued in 1947 and 1953).


Except that this particular report I cited was conducted in 1994 (as was noted in the report credits).

Not all the Kinsey reports are the actual work done by Alfred Kinsey. He spawned an institute which continues to operate to this very day.

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/
I guess that's another well kept secret.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 5:30:53 PM

Yeah, no doubt all this wonderful studies, are performed by MEN, maybe??

but since mens' brains are so swamped by pvssy, where do they get the attention span to concoct bogus research? they're too busy whacking their puds in the lab's broom closet. oh wait, of course not, what am i thinking - they all have ED, since we all know nerd researchers never get laid, and therefore lose what they can't use.

it's all so clear and simple.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 39
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History
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 5:31:16 PM
Holy, moly. Some here,,,well,,,at least a couple should actually get outside and meet some different "types" of people, instead of generically stating a bunch of horse ca ca from their OWN "personal experinces" and then spewing it as "facts".


There is a REASON, people stay by themselves, for long periods of time


There are numerous reasons why,,,and some of your posts can confirm some of those reasons. Personally, I'm at 18 years without being "attached" because I decided to prioritize certain things in my life. Being "attached" wasn't high on the list. Got a problem with that????? Doesn't mean "relationships" were not involved,,,,just that "attached" stigma.


Most WOMEN don't THINK about sex every TWO minutes
8 years of thinking about sex every two minutes, without "having" it= a guy who is telling LOTS of lies
to himself and others


I know you're young,,,but "sex" is a pretty big word,,,and does not have to involve a woman,,,,even if you are a man. Actually,if ya google it, there are a "lot" of different scenarios that involve "sex". Visit a toy store,,,,you will be amazed,,,and it's kinda cool in a wierd sort a way.

To the OP,,,if you listen to some here you'll get caught up in the "what ifs". If you are enjoying the interaction and ya wanna meet,,,do it. There are people out there that don't follow a lot of what people think is "normal". These types "seem" to some to be different, and then get these generic labels placed on them. (remember how the "nerdy" kids in school where labelled???? Well reread some of these posts here,,,and remember) You, OP,,,maybe the "one" person that this man can connect with, thus his "opening" up to YOU!!! Remember, at his age(hell, at my age even), there will be very few that can unlock that door of his. You may have the key to an interesting future.
If ya listen to enough of the potential negative ca ca, you will be one of those asking in a year,,,"what if"???? Do ya really want that??? Tryyyyyyyy it. Ya mayyyyyy like it!!!!!
 dizzyfeet2
Joined: 9/4/2010
Msg: 40
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 6:55:40 PM

There are people out there that don't follow a lot of what people think is "normal". These types "seem" to some to be different, and then get these generic labels placed on them. (remember how the "nerdy" kids in school where labelled???? ....... You, OP,,,maybe the "one" person that this man can connect with, thus his "opening" up to YOU!!! Remember, at his age(hell, at my age even), there will be very few that can unlock that door of his. You may have the key to an interesting future.


Thanks for your comments - I really enjoyed your point of view.
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 41
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 7:12:05 PM
Yeah, no doubt all this wonderful studies, are performed by MEN, maybe??

"Lol, why am I not surprised that you have never heard of the Kinsey Reports?"

Do you mean, by any chance ALFRED Kinsey???

He wouldn't happen to be a MAN, would he???

The more people want to sound well read, it somehow always takes a different turn

I said men think about it , not do it every two minutes but it's good to know some of them actually take matters into hands, literally, if only the cat could talk.

Living with a cat, dog or bird, doesn't count as a "relationship" by the way.
I'm sure people who haven't had a relationship for years and years are perfectly normal, one can get distracted doing other "things" for say 20 years, not a day or two but 20 years, and times goes by and then, one day you wake up and you are a grouchy old man or woman, who only 'roomate" is a cat or a dog and that is because the pet doesn't have another place to go, but the pound, and time just flew. I totally get that.........NOT!

LOVE the forums,
I think this thread has proven, intelligence is NOT a prerequisite
to post. :-)

Op , please make sure to let us know how it goes, that's if you are not too tired from all that exhausting love making with your spanking brand new BF, will Ya?
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 42
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 8:57:40 PM
did you ask for his masturbation punch card? Or maybe his video rental history ?

Jeez, with twenty years of being single, I am betting he has a low tolerance for the game you are bringing to the front door. I know I would.
 dizzyfeet2
Joined: 9/4/2010
Msg: 43
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 9:51:51 PM
For a guy with low tolerance for my "game" he sure does spend a lot of time talking to me on the phone and on Skype. And we sure do make each other laugh. Connecting is the highlight of the day for both of us. It's joyful.
I didn't realize that these forums are so hard on someone who is brave enough to stick their neck out. There is so much negativity and cynicism. Smile, people. Life is good.
 pirateheaven
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/20/2010 9:59:01 PM
If you decide to get intimate with this gentleman, you better wear a friggin' seatbelt because as backed up as he is, he will going to blast you clear across the room.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 45
view profile
History
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/21/2010 5:21:36 AM

Smile, people. Life is good.


And, exactly why are you exposing all of these details about you and this wonderful fellow on the forums?

Sounds more like its all a fantasy to me. It he is really so wonderful, how come you are not already enjoying each others' company instead of reading all the unbelievably silly speculations of complete strangers, most of which you don't agree with at all?

 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 46
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/21/2010 6:31:03 AM
I didn't realize that these forums are so hard on someone who is brave enough to stick their neck out. There is so much negativity and cynicism


Welcome to POF forums where people feel free to speculate on your situation, voice their opinion and in some cases vent their frustrations. Noboby said it was going to be pretty.
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/21/2010 7:26:11 AM
OP congratulations, I hope things work out for you, long distance relationships can be difficult to maintain but enjoy it while you can..
On the long term celibacy issue I can see it happening, even in my own situation I work rotating shifts with one week end a month off which makes meeting or dating challenging but not impossible. I have family, my mother is 89 and living on her own I make the 160 mile round trip on a weekly basis giving me even less time to develop any type of relationship.
On the use it or lose it, while this may be true of other parts of the body the male organ has it's own nocturnal exercise program..
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 48
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/21/2010 8:43:30 AM
That is the other part of the equation.. I know I was celibate for 14 years and was in no hurry to break it with someone I never met in person..

So in all honesty this would have turned me off if the subject had been broached before any relationship in person developed..

However I am not a male..

thecatsmeoww
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 49
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/21/2010 10:40:59 AM
"I met a very nice man, 61, who lives 14 hours away by car. We've been chatting for months, Skyping and webcam, and he's flying to my city to meet me."

Oh, and when you say "I met a very nice man" You mean the guy you haven't met yet, right?
It's a skype romance?? For MONTHS??
So chances are he won't even actually meet you? In PERSON??
All this about a meeting that might never happen?
Of course he is telling you the celibacy story

"For a guy with low tolerance for my "game" he sure does spend a lot of time talking to me on the phone and on Skype."

That is the "game" wasting your time, he hasn't even MET you, hello?
He can tell you WHATEVER he wants,
He might be married for all you know
You just keep him entertained for a few more months, skyping, why not?
Is the highlight of your day

Best Thread E V E R!!
 dizzyfeet2
Joined: 9/4/2010
Msg: 50
Long Term Celibacy
Posted: 9/21/2010 11:37:24 AM

If you decide to get intimate with this gentleman, you better wear a friggin' seatbelt because as backed up as he is, he will going to blast you clear across the room.




Cootie Queen, you are quite hilarious. I have no desire to smell the brand of soul-crushing coffee that's being brewed in these forums. I will remain blissfully delusional and nurture a hope for happy endings (or beginnings).

BTW forumfishie you didn't read my original post carefully enough. I mentioned that he's flying down to meet me. That's happening Oct. 1st. We were messaging very casually for a couple of months and switched to Skype and phone more recently.

I was just idly wondering how common it is nowadays to abstain for eight years. Apparently it's not that uncommon.

For those few who have wished me well - thank you.
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