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 AUTHOR
 S.O.U.L
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 76
Just looking for friendsPage 4 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

Just because that is your experience and idea of how this site should work, doesn't make it a universal truth or absolute.

It's a dating site...how else should it work? Matter of fact it right below "Plenty of Fish" it says "Free Online Dating".


In fact, my experiences have been just the opposite. When I first joined and used this site just to make friends, I met and became friends with a few of women. And while not all of those friendships lasted, one did, and that person is someone I consider a real friend now. On the other hand, my experiences since starting to use this site for dating purposes have been poor, maybe fair, at best. So, if I were to go just by my own experiences, I could easily reverse your comment.


You were looking frineds and they were looking for friends..so everyone wins. Where a$$ine comes into play is people who only wants friends and nothing more ...signs up on a dating site (where the majority people are looking for someone to date) and then acts befuddle when the people who are using the site for it's intended purpose (connecting other people who want to date) are not interested in friendship only.

As for people here just for forums, those folks pretty much spell it out in their profiles.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 77
view profile
History
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 9:41:43 AM
I can't imagine coming online with the intention of looking for friends.
I think some people use it as expressed in some other posts. They came
to date, are taking a break and like the forums and change it to friends, or
they are looking for someone but they figure they'll say friends first so they
can have a get out of a relationship free card.

I'm here because I haven't bothered to leave.
and unless I'm bothering someone, I guess it doesn't matter what my status is.

But yeah, signing up on a dating service with the intention of looking for
friends just sounds sort of sad to me.

To each their own.
 fastdogphotog
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 78
view profile
History
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 10:13:28 AM
It's a dating site...how else should it work? Matter of fact it right below "Plenty of Fish" it says "Free Online Dating".


Then please explain to me the point and purpose of the "friends", "hang out" and "not single / not looking" categories. The main purpose of the site may be dating, but it is clearly not the sole, exclusive purpose.


Where a$$ine comes into play is people who only wants friends and nothing more ...signs up on a dating site (where the majority people are looking for someone to date) and then acts befuddle when the people who are using the site for it's intended purpose (connecting other people who want to date) are not interested in friendship only.


If I understand you correctly, you are talking about someone who is just looking for friends contacting someone who has "dating" or "long term" as what they are looking for. If so, then while I might disagree with the exact term "a$$inine", I would agree that doesn't make much sense. In fact, when I was looking for just friends, I limited my emails to other people who listed "friends" or "hang out" as what they were looking for.


But yeah, signing up on a dating service with the intention of looking for
friends just sounds sort of sad to me. To each their own.


Well, it's kind of interesting: when I first signed up, I was fresh out of a relationship, looking to get a sense of what was out there, but in no position to date because my ex-gf was still living with me. But as I looked through profiles and read the forums, I realized that this site could be used to make friends. And, as I posted above, that turned out to be the case, at least for me.
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 79
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 10:38:49 AM
I have asked this question and never seem to get it answered...so I will try again....

If your only here to make friends, how do you look at someones profile then? Do you look at a profile and say..."wow, she is attractive, has all the same intrests, looks like fun to hang out with, message her, hang out, like her, then turn around and say..."I only want her as a friend"....

You just did EVERYTHING you would have done if you WERE trying to date. So you go thru all that trouble to find someone you like and get along with, yet DONT want to date her?....why WOULDNT you WANT to date her?....

sorry I cant imagine going thru all the trouble to find someone I like and NOT want to date...that makes NO sense tome...
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 80
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 11:01:53 AM

Yes, but this site is not a speed dating place

Take the 'speed' out of it, and Yes it most certainly is. Have you googled POF and read the description? There is no dating "side" of the site. It IS a Dating site....

include such categories as "friends", "hang out", and "not single / not looking"

Yes, they also have invisible mode too, just like Match. One can be there to be merely an on-looker... and due to the Forums being a Separate portion, not a dating portion, yes, "Not Single/Not Looking" is an option in much the same way. That doesn't take away 1% that it IS strictly a Dating Site.

The "friends" option is admittedly a confusing option for those who are blind to everything else, but "Looking For" is more of a "how to kick things off" approach. For instance, just because I select "Dating" it does not mean I'm not into "Long Term". It's what is my scope set at in-the-now, how I'd like to start things off. There's only ONE selection, so that easily indicates that, as opposed to other sites where you select multiples.

"Hang Out" does not imply just-friends in any way, sorry. "Hang Out" is a casual approach to engaging with the opposite sex. Poor argument there. Activity Partner? Okay, maybe better, but again -- some people would like to kick things off going out hiking or playing tennis keeping things casual, rather than a Date.

If this was set to meet Friends, like a site like Friendster -- then why do you not see the option to select multiple sexes -- guy AND girl? Why not? Look around you! It's a Match-Making Site. Not a social networking site!

"Friends" is there because it gives people the (silly) "Friends First" option... they want to kick it off as being LIKE Friends, as in not rushing into Dating, but at the same time -- it's still a Match-Making exercise, even though it's silly that way.

Just because that is your experience and idea of how this site should work, doesn't make it a universal truth or absolute.

I turn that around right back at ya, bro. This isn't advertised NOR constructed as a social networking site. One has the option to use the Forums, sure, which is a loosely-connected-but-separated part. You can log into the Forums but not to the actual Site, for instance.

Again, look how the site is constructed. I'm not saying how I WANT it to be -- I'm paying attention to how it's constructed. It's all about match-making -- with yes, the option to be invisible, or to be marked off as Not Single/Not Looking, if say you just want to look-but-dont-touch, OR just use the Forums or something.

If the site advertised and was constructed to also accommodate to meet people platonically, then fine. That WOULD be better, because at least folks could separate the two...

... and not have people believing what they WISH to believe by seeing an option of "Friends" and ignoring everything else written on the wall and it's context with everything else considered. To those vegetarians crashing a steak dinner party, I'd say one's time is best spent on Friendster, Facebook, meetup.com, etc. Those aren't dating sites. THOSE have the OPTION for potentially meeting someone to date. On here, on the actual Site (not the forums separated extention), it's a match-making ecosystem with yes, the flexibility for just-sex, meet-the-one, take-it-slow, etc -- falling FAR short of anything close to social networking or finding a bar buddy to hang out with at BW3 or something -- come on! :)
 fastdogphotog
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 81
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Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 4:12:45 PM
Yes, they also have invisible mode too, just like Match. One can be there to be merely an on-looker... and due to the Forums being a Separate portion, not a dating portion, yes, "Not Single/Not Looking" is an option in much the same way. That doesn't take away 1% that it IS strictly a Dating Site.


While I would agree that this is primarily, mostly and principally a dating site versus a social networking site, you still haven't convinced me that it is solely, exclusively, and strictly a dating site. Keeping with the eating analogy, a 100 seat restaurant that offers, but doesn't advertise take-out, isn't a take-out establishment, but it's not strictly a sit down restaurant either. Similarly, if this site can, and is, used, even 1% for something other than dating, then it is not strictly a dating site. I would go so far as to argue that my early experiences prove that it isn't just a dating site. If it were, it should not have been so easy for me to make new friends.


The "friends" option is admittedly a confusing option for those who are blind to everything else, but "Looking For" is more of a "how to kick things off" approach. For instance, just because I select "Dating" it does not mean I'm not into "Long Term". It's what is my scope set at in-the-now, how I'd like to start things off. There's only ONE selection, so that easily indicates that, as opposed to other sites where you select multiples.


Really? Where does it say that on the site? Please let me know, because I haven't been able to find it anywhere. Besides, hasn't that topic already been addressed at length in the forums, with there being quite a difference of opinion as to what those categories mean?


"Hang Out" does not imply just-friends in any way, sorry. "Hang Out" is a casual approach to engaging with the opposite sex. Poor argument there. Activity Partner? Okay, maybe better, but again -- some people would like to kick things off going out hiking or playing tennis keeping things casual, rather than a Date.


Hm, I hike, bowl, and do other activities with my female friends, generally with a casual approach to the whole thing. Isn't that how you defined "hang out" and "activity partner"? Or, does that mean that we are beginning to date, and I just don't realize it?

Oh, and again, can you point me to where the definitions are found on this site?


If this was set to meet Friends, like a site like Friendster -- then why do you not see the option to select multiple sexes -- guy AND girl? Why not? Look around you! It's a Match-Making Site. Not a social networking site!


This is one of the reasons I would agree with you that this site is primarily a dating site. But considering you can easily clarify in your profile whether you are open to both male and female friends (which I have seen, BTW), it's not enough to make it solely a dating site, IMHO. And a side note, I also tried some of the social networking sites, and do you want to guess what happened? I received more invitations for casual sex and the like on those sites than here, where I actually made friends.


"Friends" is there because it gives people the (silly) "Friends First" option... they want to kick it off as being LIKE Friends, as in not rushing into Dating, but at the same time -- it's still a Match-Making exercise, even though it's silly that way.


Did Markus tell you that personally? Because again, I can't find it anywhere on the site.


I turn that around right back at ya, bro. This isn't advertised NOR constructed as a social networking site. One has the option to use the Forums, sure, which is a loosely-connected-but-separated part. You can log into the Forums but not to the actual Site, for instance.

Again, look how the site is constructed. I'm not saying how I WANT it to be -- I'm paying attention to how it's constructed. It's all about match-making -- with yes, the option to be invisible, or to be marked off as Not Single/Not Looking, if say you just want to look-but-dont-touch, OR just use the Forums or something.

If the site advertised and was constructed to also accommodate to meet people platonically, then fine. That WOULD be better, because at least folks could separate the two...


And again, this is all why I would agree that the site is primarily a dating site. But, that doesn't mean that it is exclusively a dating site. Another analogy: I haven't been into an Eddie Bauer store in a while, but the last time I happened to be in one, in addition to clothes, they also sold watches, knives, and a few other odd items. Now, I think you would agree, they are generally considered a clothing retailer, they advertise as such, and their stores are constructed and laid out that way. But if I were to say they were strictly, exclusively and solely a clothing retailer, that would be incorrect.


... and not have people believing what they WISH to believe by seeing an option of "Friends" and ignoring everything else written on the wall and it's context with everything else considered. To those vegetarians crashing a steak dinner party, I'd say one's time is best spent on Friendster, Facebook, meetup.com, etc. Those aren't dating sites. THOSE have the OPTION for potentially meeting someone to date. On here, on the actual Site (not the forums separated extention), it's a match-making ecosystem with yes, the flexibility for just-sex, meet-the-one, take-it-slow, etc -- falling FAR short of anything close to social networking or finding a bar buddy to hang out with at BW3 or something -- come on! :)


I hate to break it to you, but when I first joined, I had no idea this site could be used to find and make friends, and I could have cared less one way or the other. It was only after reading multiple profiles of people looking for just friends or to hang out, and after reading some threads in the forums that I realized it could be used as such. Which, I will admit, does tend to prove your point about this site being advertised and constructed as a dating site, but also proves my point that it isn't exclusively a dating site.


I have asked this question and never seem to get it answered...so I will try again....

If your only here to make friends, how do you look at someones profile then? Do you look at a profile and say..."wow, she is attractive, has all the same intrests, looks like fun to hang out with, message her, hang out, like her, then turn around and say..."I only want her as a friend"....


I can't speak for others, but when I was looking for just friends, I would largely ignore the photos, and instead pay attention to the interests and the "about me" section. I would only use the photos as a guide to whether the person seemed reasonably normal and what sort of person they might be. For example, if a woman had a collection of cleavage photos, I would stay away, as I figured it was a safe bet that her idea of "friends" was friends with benefits. Similarly, if a woman had photos with motorcycles, hot rods and the like, I would stay away, as I have no interest in those things.
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 82
view profile
History
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 6:19:37 PM
I'm not going to fall in love with everyone I meet. That doesn't mean I might like them enough to be interested in having them as friends. The difference? Friends are people you like a lot but could never live with. OTOH, I've fallen for friends before - it's possible to find out that someone you thought was nice as a friend turns out to be such a gem, you fall in love with them.

It's tiresome to see all the cynical interpretations of 'friend'.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 83
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 6:22:10 PM

I'm not going to fall in love with everyone I meet. That doesn't mean I might like them enough to be interested in having them as friends. The difference? Friends are people you like a lot but could never live with. OTOH, I've fallen for friends before - it's possible to find out that someone you thought was nice as a friend turns out to be such a gem, you fall in love with them.

It's tiresome to see all the cynical interpretations of 'friend'.



And its tiresome for people to read wish-washy responses like this.


I tend to agree with people here. Coming to a dating site, for a friend, is kind of silly.
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 84
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 6:37:23 PM
Geeze, four pages and more in other threads about a frikken whiiney crybaby problem. It is an option provided by the site maker. If you want the option removed so that you do not have to accidently waste a couple minutes of your precious time jacking off to someone who is not looking for a good shaggin from just any yayhoo, then take the argument up with the maker, whatever his name is. Tell him how you feel and those of us in transition or who started out dating but hang around because we continue to meet other friends or who have whatever reason for choosing not to date at this time. He can boot us out.

Is it really necessary to expend so much energy telling a group of people they are not welcome?
 CynthiaSMW
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 85
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 7:16:29 PM

Geeze, four pages and more in other threads about a frikken whiiney crybaby problem. It is an option provided by the site maker. If you want the option removed so that you do not have to accidently waste a couple minutes of your precious time jacking off to someone who is not looking for a good shaggin from just any yayhoo, then take the argument up with the maker, whatever his name is. Tell him how you feel and those of us in transition or who started out dating but hang around because we continue to meet other friends or who have whatever reason for choosing not to date at this time. He can boot us out.

Is it really necessary to expend so much energy telling a group of people they are not welcome?

 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 7:17:39 PM

I tend to agree with people here. Coming to a dating site, for a friend, is kind of silly.

Yeah, they kinda make me think of dating "groupies" or even "fag hags", who just like to hang around the "scene" a lot, but don't play any, um, "instruments".
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 87
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 7:41:57 PM

"Friends" is there because it gives people the (silly) "Friends First" option... they want to kick it off as being LIKE Friends, as in not rushing into Dating, but at the same time -- it's still a Match-Making exercise, even though it's silly that way.


I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Friends first is nothing, but pure nonsense and is just a cop out for those wanting to get the milk for free.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 88
view profile
History
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 8:33:56 PM
I don't understand why some people worry so much about what other people are doing. Especially, if they get upset about it.

I figure people know what they want and have the right to have their lives exactly as they want it.
 Simon4567
Joined: 10/9/2010
Msg: 89
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 9:54:30 PM

I agree.I was looking for "friends" for a long time.It gave me the excuse to say "hey,I told you right away that I was only looking for friends and nothing else" if I felt he wasn`t what I wanted


I don't blame you for doing that.

You shouldn't have to explain yourself or remind them that you're just looking for friends. When I see that on a woman's profile, unless they say they're in a relationship or married, I just assume they put it down to be a safety cushion for the guys that can't feel or get when a woman is just not that into you.
 Simon4567
Joined: 10/9/2010
Msg: 90
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 9:56:13 PM
whoa, forget the post above. i have a lot of grammar errors.

oh well, i hope people get what i was trying to say
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 91
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/23/2010 10:08:56 PM

Geeze, four pages and more in other threads about a frikken whiiney crybaby problem. It is an option provided by the site maker. If you want the option removed so that you do not have to accidently waste a couple minutes of your precious time jacking off to someone who is not looking for a good shaggin from just any yayhoo, then take the argument up with the maker, whatever his name is. Tell him how you feel and those of us in transition or who started out dating but hang around because we continue to meet other friends or who have whatever reason for choosing not to date at this time. He can boot us out.

Is it really necessary to expend so much energy telling a group of people they are not welcome?



I dont know....was it necessary to expend so much energy telling a group of people that you think are "whiney crybabies" they are not welcome to be such?
 Fierysunlvr
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 92
view profile
History
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/24/2010 6:43:36 AM
I get that this is a DATING site, but what befuddles me is the attitude of "I'm a man/woman on a dating site and you're a man/woman who accepted my coffee invitation, so now let's date...my place or yours.

That type of dating is way too desperate for me and desperation and neediness turn me off. Of course deep down I want to find someone and be in a relationship but I do not want the type of man who is so desperate for female attention that he needs to set up the sex/excusivity agenda before or during a first meet coffee date.

I like saying friends first because I'm hoping to meet a man who has a life and an agenda other than finding a woman.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 93
view profile
History
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/24/2010 7:06:21 AM

I'm not going to fall in love with everyone I meet. That doesn't mean I might like them enough to be interested in having them as friends. The difference? Friends are people you like a lot but could never live with. OTOH, I've fallen for friends before - it's possible to find out that someone you thought was nice as a friend turns out to be such a gem, you fall in love with them.


I make it pretty clear on my profile that I'm not here to make friends. When we meet up in person I can generally tell right away whether or not I see myself in a relationship with a person. Mostly this serves to filter someone OUT rather than someone IN. Once you're in, I'm willing to see where things go.

What I won't do is tell someone I'd like to be friends and I don't want them to tell
me that either. If after a meeting neither one of us sees the possibility of something
moving forward in a romantic direction, I see no need to be friends.

I don't understand the whole thing about "friends first." I mean seriously, does
anyone actually date someone with the intention of turning it into a relationship
without thinking this person in terms of being a friend? I don't date or even hang
around people I don't consider my friends. I have a life that doesn't include a
significant other right now. I'm not sure what's wrong with having an "agenda"
that includes finding a significant other. That doesn't seem desperate to me at all.
What does seem desperate is looking for "friends" HOPING one of them will turn
into something more. Why not search for the something more first and skip the
middleman? I already have tons of "friends" in my life. I'm seriously not actively
searching out more.

But that's just me of course, I tend to be warped.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 94
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/24/2010 7:19:58 AM
Nothing wrong with trying to make friends on here.

Only problem is, it's not really set up for that. It's nearly impossible to "target" people just looking to hang out and/or socially network. There are plenty of other websites much better set up to handle such things as networking or finding a kayaking club (for example).
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 95
view profile
History
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/24/2010 7:47:08 AM
It's interesting to see the length (and passion) of this thread, over this apparently simple issue about being "friends" and dating.

Maybe it speaks to a question that's seldom directly asked.... just how much "intimacy" & "closeness" do we really want in a relationship (or can we handle)?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 96
view profile
History
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/24/2010 8:05:18 AM
Something else I don't get.
People who question the content or the longevity of a thread.
The whole purpose of these forums is the threads. If people didn't
post to them, there would be no forum.

It was a simple question. But apparently there are no simple answers.
(which is usually the case for simple questions) People have varying points
of views and reasons for being here....and we discuss those points of views.
That's why we're here.

Or at least that's why I'm here.
I can't really speak to why others post to the forums.

And what I post in this thread (or any other for that matter) really has no
bearing at all on how much intimacy and closeness I want or can handle in
a relationship. Basically, my view is I don't come to these sites looking for
friends, but apparently others do.

VVV well you prove my point. I'm not "touchy" at all. I'm merely responding
to a post. I don't bring my touchy feelies to these forums...I just post what I'm
thinking...and I assume others do as well.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 97
view profile
History
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/24/2010 8:22:20 AM
In fact some get touchy about even raising the question....
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 98
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/25/2010 7:55:08 PM
While I would agree that this is primarily, mostly and principally a dating site versus a social networking site, you still haven't convinced me that it is solely, exclusively, and strictly a dating site.

First, it's not "mostly" a dating site vs a social networking site. It's not a social networking site. It's that simple. How do you know? It's not constructed that way. The writing is literally on the wall. It's just as "strict" as a matchmaking site as Match is. Yes, it's that simple and obvious.

I haven't been into an Eddie Bauer store in a while, but the last time I happened to be in one, in addition to clothes, they also sold watches, knives, and a few other odd items.

But they're not. Of the literature BY POF around do you see anything about meeting platonic friends? No -- it's about "Date Night" and literature from David DeAngelo about sexual/romantic interactions... and rating someone -- not on how good of a bar buddy they'd be, but on (sexual) looks. There is NOTHING indicating that this is a place set for platonic setups.

USERS of the system will put that up there. This is a very relaxed, open Dating/Matchmaking site. You can meet for Intimate Encouters (which many times obviously do not require a 'Date'). It's about sexual/romantic -- ie not-platonic matching to a variety of aims & desires. It's not for straight guys to find straight guys at all. It's constructed in the OPPOSING way (ie opposite sex) of that.

Yes, you can end up making friends on a non-compatible situation between you and a gal, whether you were just emailing initially or hung out or went out on what you two would consider to be a Date. Making friends can be a byproduct of going to a Speed Dating event, too. But there's a difference between the situation you're at and what to use it for your intent.

It was only after reading multiple profiles of people looking for just friends or to hang out, and after reading some threads in the forums that I realized it could be used as such.

First, "hanging out" being an option on a DATING SITE that's identified and labeled as a Dating Site, plastered all over every nook and cranny of it, in no way implies something Platonic, nor implies any exception. You not realizing even that reflects why you can't understand the other very few slightly-less-obvious things.

Friends as an option is probably your best bet. Not Single/Not Looking means "I'm not single, don't bother, I'm on the sidelines". If you wanted to do that, that's fine! Notice how those TWO things go together -- why? Why does Not Single go directly with Not Looking? Why? It's A DATING SITE. That's not to say the site prevents people who aren't single from looking -- don't get me wrong. But it's coupled with THE reason why one wouldn't be looking -- it's intertwined at the core -- not just the "weight".

Which, I will admit, does tend to prove your point about this site being advertised and constructed as a dating site, but also proves my point that it isn't exclusively a dating site.

Okay, by your rationale:
1. Match can be used for the main purpose to find platonic friends (bar buddies, just friends, etc). You can use the same excuse to put what you're looking for in your profile! If your intent is to find a girl OR a guy to just hang out with AS JUST FRIENDS -- and if the site isn't constructed for that -- just write it in the profile, and therefore it can be USED that way! Hey, I seriously see some girls say "Friends and nothing more" on there -- therefore Match is the same, right? I've seen girls say "I want to find a great guy to hang out with" -- oh! Hang out! She seems wholesome, so she MUST mean platonic because that's what 'hang out' (should) mean (to me). ;) I also see Spam, too -- so therefore I can try and sell some kitchen knives! It's just "more of" a dating site...

2. Ohkay-kupid can be, too. Especially since you can mark "Taken" (or something like that) on there, because there's some fun & cute things to browse thru the site. Even though the word CUPID is in the name, hey, you see that as to meet the next Frank who likes BW3s, too.

3. On a site called fling (an adult site), despite its naked photos and advertisements, I can describe what I want in my profile there, too. Hey, I could find next Betty Homemaker who wants to wait until she's married and wears sweaters 90% of the year. Why? Thru enough browsing you could find a gal on there who doesn't want to have sex with anyone, but want to be friends first, and take things slow, and are looking for a serious relationship.

#3 is more what you're doing in reference to POF. It'd be like a good-mannered, in-line Mormon looking to meet a good gal. Because he's seen a good girl sign up here and there, hey, he can USE the site for that, so therefore it's just "more of" an adult site.

In the end, it comes down to the Friends thing -- and "Friends First", although somewhat used by idiots who have no expectations but something purely platonic, MOST mean it to be "be like friends, take it slow" or "I want to make sure I actually like you after we are out for a bit".

For OVER 99% of the people, the intent is not to make platonic friends. Same with match. Same with the kupid site. Same with any other DATING SITE.

Your argument bears hardly any more weight more than someone showing up at a Speed Dating Event, and telling every girl who asks that your intention on showing up was to find a guy or gal to be just-friends with. Hey, people use the "Friends First" line to describe how they roll all the time, right? Therefore, I'll ignore everything else in the room.

You're an example as to why the "Friends First" line taints social understanding like occasional hip phrases can. Because some people actually believe it in multiple ways... and some can roll into something that IS a Dating site, just as much as Match is, and lead people to believe "Oh hey, they're looking for JUST FRIENDS as their intent all the way", while other people who use the line will defend against that and say "No, that's not what I mean" -- and the MAJORITY of the time, no, that's not what they mean... but yes, why use the word "Friends"? It by ITSELF implies Platonic, which is why you see POF as having a solid Platonic path as some Official Option, right? The reason is, people use it loosely -- like FWB... like "Friends First"... it brings in people takes off the pressure that some people don't want to feel in terms of some big "D-a-t-e"... to take it "slow". I'm not a fan of the possible wishy-washy descriptions any more than you are, but you can't take it as that and that alone turning a whole-hearted Dating Site into "Dating + Meeting Platonic Friends" -- look around how it's constructed and put that "Friends" into context. The end-intent is not platonic for the site in terms of "looking" and finding MATCHES.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 99
Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/26/2010 4:29:58 AM
Why do people get their panties in such a twist over what other people are doing?If they are not hurting your then leave them be.

Since there is no one standing beside you with a gun forcing you to send messages to people who are looking for friends then let it go.Skip right past that profile and look for someone more compatible.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 100
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Just looking for friends
Posted: 11/26/2010 8:13:07 AM
Um, maybe folks object for much the same reason they don't like to see the "10 items or less" checkout, glutted with self-centered "others".
Read the sign.... this is an Online Dating Site (duh!), not a penpal or friendship circle! Don't "do" relationships, or just looking for "pals" to chat with?.... there's plenty of other places intended for that.
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