| | more blonde jokesPage 20 of 25 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25) | | I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said. "No. I hate myself now." (Rodney Dangerfield) | |
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Posted: 10/25/2011 12:14:24 PM | To all those who have divorced ;)
A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. "There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. "I’m too young to die. I’m only fifty five." "Fifty five?" says Saint Peter. "No, according to out calculations, you’re eighty two." "How’s you get that?" the lawyer asks. Answers St. Peter: "We added up your time sheets." | |
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Posted: 10/26/2011 6:10:06 PM | How many stupid blondes does it take to make a circuit?
Two - one to stand inside the bath, the other to pass the hair dryer. | |
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Posted: 10/27/2011 6:34:26 AM | Why don't blonde witches wear panties?
Better grip on their broom.
Thank you sooo much for this thread. I feel like I should send you a cheque for the therapy. I'll resist that though. | |
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Posted: 10/27/2011 7:46:10 AM | wwitch- LOL That is too funny 
Thank YOU for sharing this joke. :)
Thank you very much for your kind words. Sometimes I ffel like the lone ranger in here,
but as long as I see people reading them, I'll keep posting. I love being able to (hopefully) make people laugh. There's enough negative going on in the world so I'm just trying to help bring a smile, or even someone shaking their head at these with a grin- each day.
I'm running out of blonde jokes though! And that's why I've been posting other jokes. I may have to recycle a few. Thanks again for contributing. :)
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????" | |
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Posted: 10/27/2011 8:03:06 AM | Then there is this nice looking blonde gal a watching the sunset on a sandy beach and wondering.... Why?
It finally Dawned on her. | |
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Posted: 10/27/2011 8:56:08 AM | ^^^(giggles). What a treat to have people sharing jokes today. A very nice thing to see.
caseydean, THANKS for sharing the joke- very cute.
I've got to share one each time I post and I'm pulling these out of my low stock of blonde jokes- enjoy:
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" | |
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Posted: 10/28/2011 3:40:04 PM | Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
She wanted to see what she looked like asleep. | |
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Posted: 10/29/2011 1:18:36 PM | How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
She gets the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece. | |
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Posted: 10/30/2011 6:19:15 PM | Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?" | |
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Posted: 10/31/2011 9:38:06 PM | Q: How does the blonde car pool work?
A: They all meet at work at 7:45 | |
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Posted: 10/31/2011 11:13:23 PM | Thanks I got a few good chuckles
92 year old virgin goes to her dr, and says doc. I think I have crabs. The doc says I dont think so but I will check it out. He checks her out and says I have some good news and bad news. The good news is you dont have crabs the bad news is your cherry is fermented and you have fruitflies.
not a blonde joke but... | |
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Posted: 11/1/2011 12:25:50 PM | Oh my gosh- lol- that's one for the books. Thanks for sharing the joke. :)
Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third grade. | |
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Posted: 11/2/2011 7:49:19 AM | Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night. | |
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Posted: 11/2/2011 9:18:26 AM | Blondes are not stupid, actually they are very intelligent.
The only problem is their clue bags are empty. | |
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Posted: 11/2/2011 2:10:43 PM | ^^^^ LOL- haven't seen you in a while. Thanks for sharing :)
Q: Did you hear about the new form of birth control for blondes?
A: They take off their makeup. | |
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Posted: 11/3/2011 8:05:19 AM | Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2011 6:43:29 AM | Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2011 7:44:47 AM | Q. Why did the blonde have a bruised belly button?
A. Her boyfriend was blonde too. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2011 8:13:32 AM | ^^^ I Love that one. Too bad I'm really visual. Yikes lol.
You know, I don't see a lot of blonde couples with children lol.
Q: What does the postcard from a blonde's vacation say?
A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?  | |
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Posted: 11/4/2011 6:48:05 PM | Q. How do blondes like their eggs in the morning?
A. Unfertilized | |
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Posted: 11/4/2011 9:18:03 PM | ^^^ Do you only think of blondes in terms of sex lol? Another good one!
Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet. | |
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Posted: 11/5/2011 2:44:56 PM | | First time i am seeing this thread.Can't belive you stuck to it.Really nice.May post one soon | |
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Posted: 11/6/2011 9:37:09 AM | A blonde got a job cleaning a tall office building.
Here boss said to vacuum the elevator carpets.
She hasn't been seen since.
On his way through the lobby he spotted her.
He asked where she has been all day.
She said doing the elevator floors.
Her boss said look over there, there are only 6 elevators and that doesn't take all day.
She said it wouldn't have taken me all day if you just wanted me to do the 6 in the lobby but I did all 6 on every floor. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2011 1:02:59 PM | kome to me- thanks for the post and post away in here. It's all about having a good laugh and having the ease of laughing at ourselves.
As far as sticking to it? Ya, I'm funny that way. I wanted to share a smile in someone's life and even share a laugh or two. I see that people read it ( many may be shaking their heads lol) and I figure it's a way to lighten someone's day. A lot of us are on here searching for someone in our lives and it can get old after a while for some, so a laugh helps here and there. So it's partly that- just sharing humor- and borderline living in my own little world at times,,,and just sharing at that point as well.
Other than that I'm just goofy. ;)
Kansas: You're a stitch. ;)
I think I've shared with you before that I am very visual. A literal visual. (?)
I picture the thinks being written and picture this one and have the kind of laugh where it's so funny that no noise comes out and my eyes squinch up lol.
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer. | |
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