| | more blonde jokesPage 5 of 25 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25) | ^^^^^ 
Q: Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
A: She couldn't find the recipe. | |
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Posted: 1/1/2011 5:38:55 PM | A red head, a brunette and a blonde were all asked the same question:
"If you knew you were to be stuck on a desert island what one thing would you bring ?"
"Sunscreen", said the redhead.
"Water", said the brunette.
"A car door", said the blonde.
"A car door?" they all questioned.
"Yes." she said.
"So if it gets too hot I can wind the window down." | |
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Posted: 1/1/2011 10:55:41 PM | Hi softy. Thanks for sharing. I've never heard that one and it's very funny.
She was so blonde that On the bottom of the job application where it said 'Sign Here' she wrote 'Aquarius'. | |
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Posted: 1/2/2011 3:21:54 PM | Sowrite, your jokes are hilarious!!!
The blonde stopped taking the pill because it kept falling out? .......and donut seeds?
OMG!!! | |
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Posted: 1/2/2011 6:02:47 PM | A blonde phones the Fire Department and says "Come quick, my house is on fire!"
The Fireman asks "How do we get there?"
Blonde replies "Helloooooooo, in the Big fire truck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" | |
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Posted: 1/2/2011 6:10:36 PM | A blonde wins £6,000,000 on the lottery.
The organisers say "We're a bit short this month. Can we give you £3 million this month and £3 million next month?"
Blonde replies "If you're going to mess me around, you can give me my £1 stake back!" | |
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Posted: 1/2/2011 6:14:41 PM | A blonde goes into PC World and asks for some curtains for her PC.
Shop assistant says "You don't need curtains for a PC".
Blonde retorts "Hellooooooooo, it's got Windows!" | |
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Posted: 1/2/2011 6:28:18 PM | -Why did the blonde have tire marks over her back?
-From crawling across the street when the sign said 'Don't Walk'. | |
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Posted: 1/2/2011 6:34:08 PM | -Why was the blonde couple found frozen at a drive-in theatre?
-Because they wanted to watch 'Closed for The Winter'. | |
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Posted: 1/6/2011 9:49:23 PM | Thank you Softy! I began this thread to give people a few laughs and to illustrate that if we can't laugh at ourselves then we're taking things too seriously in life!
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions. | |
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Posted: 1/6/2011 11:04:08 PM | A brunette and a blonde were talking about their passwords. The brunette said, 'I chose a password that no one could figure. It makes no sense. Here, I trust you, I'll tell you what it is: a134sghu67965498. What's yours?'
The blonde says, mine is:
'MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy'
Brunette asked why such a big password, she said, "It had to be at least 8 characters long". | |
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Posted: 1/7/2011 6:10:00 PM | Dan: good one- ::fistbump::
How do you regonize a blonde in school?
They are the only ones who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the board. | |
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Posted: 1/7/2011 7:16:22 PM | ^^^
good one, no wonder they remain blonde later on! | |
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Posted: 1/7/2011 8:59:15 PM | ^^^
There were two blondes going hunting. It was getting late so one of the blondes said to the other that she heard if you ever get lost in the woods to shoot three shots into the air. So she did. A few hours went by and so she fired three more shots in the air. Afew more hours went by and they fired three more shots in the air. Then ont of the blondes said someone better hurry up and save us...we only have two more arrows left. | |
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Posted: 1/9/2011 4:04:27 PM | A brunette, a redhead and a blonde were in a spelling competition at Elementary school.
The teacher asked them to finish this sentance and spell the answer.
"Old MacDonald had a .........."
"Ranch." Said the brunette. "r.a.n.c.h"
"House." Said the redhead. "h.o.u.s.e"
"Farm." Said the blonde."e.i.e.i.o" | |
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Posted: 1/9/2011 4:26:42 PM | ^^^
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was tired of hearing blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,
"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!" | |
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Posted: 1/10/2011 5:21:41 AM | A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.
Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her to just go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard,
and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe.
Nothing happened.
She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said,
"What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her
to blow into the tailpipe in order to get the dents to pop out.
Her roommate rolled her eyes and said,
..."HELLLLOOOO!!!
You need to roll up the windows." | |
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Posted: 1/10/2011 8:41:04 AM | A doctor is examining a blonde, using his stethoscope.
'Big breaths!' he says
-I know they're big! All the boys tell me, I'm not even sixteen. | |
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Posted: 1/10/2011 9:51:14 AM | A brunette and a blonde were walking in the park and the brunette said, "Oh look at that dead bird".
The blonde looked up and said, "where?" | |
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Posted: 1/10/2011 3:09:12 PM | A blonde and her brunette friend were walking along the pier. Suddenly the blonde looks down and sees large white rocks under the water.
"Oh look!" She said excitedly. "Seal eggs!" | |
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Posted: 1/10/2011 3:30:11 PM | ^^^^^Oh dear Lord that's funny 
A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.
She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?" | |
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Posted: 1/11/2011 6:20:54 AM | | There is a blonde driving a car, she swerves to the left then right, then left. Then a police officers pulls her over and asks what she is doing, and she says"I swerved to the left cause there was a tree on the right, then swerved to the right cause there was another tree so i swerved to the left" The polce man says" Lady that's your air freshener. | |
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Posted: 1/11/2011 11:05:17 AM | -Why did the blonde change the diapers just once a month?
Because on the box it said: good for up to 20 lbs.
-How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door.
-Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail she was hammering?
Because the noise was giving her a headache. | |
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Posted: 1/11/2011 11:29:02 PM | | A girl was visiting her blond friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and the other was named Timex. Her friend said, "Who ever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" HellOOOooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!" | |
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Posted: 1/13/2011 4:39:58 AM | "-Why did the blonde change the diapers just once a month?
Because on the box it said: good for up to 20 lbs."
This one works well to describe the thinking of male engineers, like me, too! And I'm not even blonde! | |
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