| | more blonde jokesPage 6 of 25 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25) | ^^^good to know Igor. Hmmm...equating blondes and engineers. Are you suggesting I should date engineers and we may have some things in common, as in our rationale? :P
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves. | |
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Posted: 1/14/2011 8:18:56 PM | Q. What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A. A blonde going through a flashing red light. | |
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Posted: 1/16/2011 9:14:42 PM | Why don't blondes know how to write the number "11"?
They don't know which "1" comes first! | |
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Posted: 1/17/2011 7:58:19 PM | | One night we were having church when the lights went out. We were all looking around trying to find the problem when my Blond Aunt Debbie ran outside. In just a few short minutes she came running back inside the church and as serious as she could be, said, "Hey you guys my lights are working in my car. | |
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Posted: 1/23/2011 7:33:27 PM | Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You can park in the handicap zone. | |
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Posted: 1/23/2011 8:49:34 PM | A blonde was late for work but had to go to the bathroom quick. There was a sign on the road that said: clean bathrooms next 10 miles.
She arrived 3 hours later to work, having cleaned 43 bathrooms, on the way. | |
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Posted: 1/23/2011 9:09:25 PM | What's the definition of a naval destroyer, to a blonde?
A hula hoop with a nail in it.
A blonde tried to go on a diet. She went to her doctor cause she was having too much difficulty. He gave her advice. 'You eat everything you want the first two days, and you skip the third day'.
The blonde follows his advice then goes to her doctor again. 'So how did it go' asks the doctor. 'Well, the first two days were great, I ate everything I wanted, but that skipping all day on the third day was really tough!' | |
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Posted: 1/24/2011 9:25:22 PM | A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on an island. While walking along the beach one day they spot a lamp in the sand. They pick it up and rub and out pops a genie. He says,"I'll grant you each one wish. What is yours?" he asks the brunette.
"I'm sick of this island - I wish to go home," she answers. Poof! She disappears.
The genie then turns to the redhead. "What is your wish he asks?"
"I'm also sick of this island, so I wish to go home, too," she replies. Poof! She disappears.
Finally, the genie asks the blonde,"What is your wish?"
She answers,"Well, I'm very lonely now. I really wish my friends were still here..." | |
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Posted: 1/25/2011 1:22:23 PM | | ^^^LOL stupid genie should have asked the blonde first! | |
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Posted: 1/26/2011 7:53:26 PM | ^^^^well we both know that she would have said something stupid anyway -ha 
are you blonde btw??? ha ha 
Q: Why do blondes wear ponytails?
A: To hide the valve stem! | |
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Posted: 1/28/2011 8:59:49 AM | How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
none, because none of them know how | |
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Posted: 1/28/2011 12:31:30 PM | How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't. They wait in the dark, flicking the switch until the sun comes through the window, then tell anyone who asks "See! It's just a matter of perseverance!" | |
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Posted: 1/28/2011 9:58:38 PM | ^^^^ Good one!
Q. Why did the blonde bury her walkman?
A. Because the batteries were dead.
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Posted: 1/29/2011 7:24:06 PM | Why did the blonde steal a police car?
She saw 911 on it and thought it was a porsche.
What do you call a bunch of blondes who accidentally locked themselves up in the freezing room at the meat plant?
Frosted flakes.
What is a blonde in a nice executive dress stuck high up in a tree?
The branch manager. | |
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Posted: 1/31/2011 8:28:36 PM | Q. How do you know a blonde has been using a dishwasher?
A.It's clogged up with paperplates.
There were three woman at an American college eating lunch. There was a Russian, American, and a Blonde. They were all bragging about their countries.
The Russian said," We were the first in space."
The American said," We were the first on the moon."
The Blonde said," Well, we will be the first on the sun."
The Russian said," You cannot do that or you will burn up!"
"Duh! We'll go at night." the Blonde replied. | |
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Posted: 2/2/2011 8:37:12 AM | | A blonde, a brunette, a moviestar, the pope, and a pilot were in a plane. The plane was going down, and there were only 4 parachutes. So the pilot took one and jumped, then the moviestar took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped. Since there was only one parachute left, the pope told the brunette to take the last one. The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left...the blonde took my backpack and jumped." | |
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Posted: 2/2/2011 7:37:31 PM | oooohhhh ... that's just SAD!
incidentally ... as the "captain of the ship" ... wouldn't the pilot go down last?! WITH the "ship," I mean? I know ... it's a joke! .... soooo sad, though!
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Posted: 2/2/2011 8:03:19 PM | Hi, MollyMaude- good to hear from you!
Maybe he/ she was blonde?
Maybe the pope had him/her covered?
Just a joke, so it might as well be goofy :)
We can pretend that the blonde is ok ;) | |
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Posted: 2/4/2011 11:59:38 AM | Q. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A. To see what was on the other side. | |
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Posted: 2/5/2011 1:52:07 PM | How do you know when a blonde is making chocolate cookies?
There are M&M shells all over the place.
What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant. | |
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Posted: 2/8/2011 11:48:25 AM | There are 3 women who are in the army; A Blonde, Brunette and Redhead and their general asks them if they went into the desert and could only take one thing, what would it be?
Well the Brunetter says I would take an umbrella so I wont get hot. The General says ok that is good.
The Redhead says I would take a watermellon because I could eat it and drink the juices on it too. The General says ok that is good.
Then he asks the Blonde what she would take and she says " I would take a car door" The General says, "Why in the heck would you take a car door??"
The Blonde says, "So if I get hot I can roll down the window." | |
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Posted: 2/10/2011 6:33:27 AM | What did the blonde do when she broke her tupperware?
Called the plastic surgeon. | |
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Posted: 2/12/2011 6:13:58 AM | a blonde walks to the riverbank and shouts across to another blonde.
"how do i cross to the other bank."
"you are on the other bank." was the reply.
two blonde nuns were driving in transylvania when dracula landed on the front of their car. quick says the first nun,"show him your cross."
"IF YOU DO NOT MOVE YOUR A*SE OFF THE FRONT OF OUR CAR I'LL FCUKING KICK YOU TO KINGDOM COME."said sister mary.  | |
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Posted: 2/12/2011 11:42:29 AM | ^^^ 
How do you know that a fax came from a blonde??
There is a stamp on it.
What does a U.F.O and an intellegent blonde have in common?
You always hear about them... but you never see them! | |
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Posted: 2/15/2011 11:28:35 AM | There were a blonde and a brunette driving and the brunette goes to the blonde, "Go check my blinker!"
"Does it work?"
Blonde:
"Yes"
"No"
"Yes"
"No" | |
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