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| | Online dating more difficult than real life!!!Page 2 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) | | IMO online dating does suck. Really the only positive is that it opens up doors for you to meet people you never would have had an opportunity to meet otherwise. But then again, who needs that? You encounter enough strangers in your routine life anyway. Am I right? | |
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| | Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 27 | |
| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 1:44:29 AM | How does it suck? It's a tool.
That's like saying "I don't know how to use this screwdriver. Screwdrivers suck."
"I cant figure out my iPhone. iPhones suck."
"My car ran out of gas, Cars suck." | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 4:26:17 AM |
Has anyone else found this to be true?
No, I've found quite the opposite.
I thought online dating was going to be easier but I'm beginning to think that unless you are over 6', look like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, you don't stand a friggin chance!
I'm under 6', I don't look like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise and in my only photo, I'm wearing a Mickey Mouse, yet I managed to get a number of dates.
Also.. I finally widdled down my profile to a few sentences to see if that made any difference.. It didn't. Maybe it's the height?
Well, since your profile is completely unintersting and basically sucks, your height might be responsible for losing anyone who doesn't care about anything in your profile. Online dating favors the literate non-Brad Pitts of the world. Read your profile and ask yourself why anyone would find you interesting. | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 7:22:07 AM | I don't think online dating sucks. I do think this site sucks as an avenue for online dating because the majority of the people here are so mentally ill and so full drama about there past they aren't ready for a relationship but instead should be checking in to there local mental institution.
This place seems to a dumpster for all the rejects of the world. | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 8:00:18 AM |
the majority of the people here are so mentally ill and so full drama about there past they aren't ready for a relationship but instead should be checking in to there local mental institution.
This place seems to a dumpster for all the rejects of the world.
and yet here YOU are...
Ever notice that when you point your finger at someone/something-the other 3 fingers are pointing back at YOU?
And how much does it suck that even on this 'dumpster for rejects', you are striking out?
Returning to the subject of "online dating"-let's first CLARIFY-you cannot 'date' online. An ongoing exchange of emails/IMs/hanging out in chatrooms or forums, is NOT a "relationship". I know that to most people this is patently obvious, but I've run across just enough people of BOTH genders who think that an exchange of a few emails or IMs constitutes "dating",that I felt it should be mentioned. I myself have had a couple of encounters with men who got their boxers all twisted because I was emailing or chatting via IM with other men, and they thought I was a TERRIBLE person-we had emailed/IM'd a few times,therefore we were "DATING"!
With that said, online personal ad sites are simply another venue to come in contact with possible dating/relationship prospects. It is NOT a damn vending machine for dates, relationships or hook-ups. It probably is MORE difficult to connect with someone sufficiently to bring about an in-person meeting. And if at that meeting,one of the 2 people does not feel that physical chemistry,(which is VERY common,even with very current photos and very truthful content) then there will not be more dates.
Cindy O | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 8:14:03 AM |
Has anyone else found this to be true? I've been really shocked to find how difficult online dating is. In the real world I've met and dated very attractive woman who found me fun, interesting, and handsome, but wow.. based on the complete zero interest from anyone on this site, if I didn't already have the dating experience that I do I would seriously think something must be wrong with me lol. Anyone else experience this? I've been a member for a month and had a very respectful profile, must have been viewed by at least 100 woman and not one single e-mail! I've sent about 50 respectful and polite e-mails and only have had very uninterested responses. I just don't get it.. I thought online dating was going to be easier but I'm beginning to think that unless you are over 6', look like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, you don't stand a friggin chance! lol Just curious if anyone else has had this experience. Also.. I finally widdled down my profile to a few sentences to see if that made any difference.. It didn't. Maybe it's the height?
^^^I like the online platform because it allows me to meet people I wouldn't normally meet. I don't use it exclusively as a tool for dating. I also get out and meet people while networking/socializing.
It is what it is..................and I don't look like Angelina or Katy. | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 9:50:25 AM | "I do think this site sucks as an avenue for online dating"
It must suck for you, since you, from your previous posts, require women to have
sex with you on the first date
" because the majority of the people here are so mentally ill and so full drama about there past they aren't ready for a relationship"
Again, if you call a "relationship" having all kinds of weird sex with you, yep, I bet almost nobody HERE is ready to do that with YOU
"This place seems to a dumpster for all the rejects of the world"
If you are describing yourself as a reject, since you are here, I'll believe it.
I think online dating facilitates introductions, the rest is up to you OP, since you are going to meet in person, hopefully, they get to see who you really are, but if you say the wrong thing before they see you, maybe that's why you are not having as much luck as you have in person. | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 10:45:43 AM |
How does it suck? It's a tool.
That's like saying "I don't know how to use this screwdriver. Screwdrivers suck."
"I cant figure out my iPhone. iPhones suck."
"My car ran out of gas, Cars suck."
Exactly! | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 11:16:24 AM | "I thought online dating was going to be easier......."
Of course you did. I'd guess pretty much everyone thinks that until they actually post a profile and give it a try.
Would you have bothered if you had known the truth?
It's the reputation of online dating as being "easier" that keeps new suckers, umm, I mean new members joining and contributing to the bottom line on the POF balance sheet. | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 11:21:27 AM | One thing is for sure....This site is a massive magnet for alot of the socially awkward, bitter types.
People on this site are PISSED...and im still trying to figure out why... | |
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| | Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 38 | |
| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 11:26:40 AM | You wanna know why?
Their expectations are unreasonable, unrealistic and fantastical.
When they realize the reality of the situation, they respond like spoiled children in the supermarket screaming about a candy bar. | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 11:55:04 AM |
You wanna know why?
Their expectations are unreasonable, unrealistic and fantastical.
When they realize the reality of the situation, they respond like spoiled children in the supermarket screaming about a candy bar. AKA they can't handle the truth (bonus hilarious points if they have 'brutally honest' listed as one of their traits in their profile).
Anyway this site is nice if I'm feeling especially masochistic and want to further punish myself mentally and spiritually. | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 12:03:50 PM |
My theorey is that most younger woman 18-35 are more interested in the fairytale of being swept off their feet rather than finding a fullfilling give-and-take relationship. I suspect that razzle and dazzle is far more appealing than keeping it real, but like a sparkler on fourth of July, razzle and dazzle turns into fizzle and drizzle.
Right, and it couldnt possibly be that you arent as interesting and exciting as you think you are? Your little theory just allows you to live a little longer in a fantasy world of how bad all the women who you are going after are, and how good you really are... Does that theory make you feel better about yourself? | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 12:12:05 PM | Another thing is for sure, is that people on this forum are itching to chew people out.
You start threads like this, be prepared to be reamed in the cornhole, dude. These people are starving to lay out some juicy abuse. | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 12:16:05 PM |
My theorey is that most younger woman 18-35 are more interested in the fairytale of being swept off their feet rather than finding a fullfilling give-and-take relationship.
i suspect this is fairly close to the truth and works both ways - that is, men and women both come here expecting immediate fulfillment of their relationship fantasy. many women expect prince charming to gallop into their inbox, and many men expect a troupe of megan fox lookalikes to be sitting around waiting to be propositioned. they gripe and stamp their feet when they find out online dating takes actual time and effort. | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 1:41:13 PM | As you can see OP the people who have responded to my post have just proven my point. If this was not true they would of not responded so defensively to my post.
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 2:08:02 PM |
Maybe it's the height?
No. It's the profile. I would suggest that you ask for profile help in the profile section.
Real life dating is easier in comparison because you start out with relatively little information. They don't know your age, your job, your potential earnings. They don't know about past relationships, whether you've been divorced or if you have children. Personality, one of the largest attractors in real life dating, doesn't even play a role online.
Granted, you could lie online, as well as in real life. For example, I could clean up my profile quite a bit and tell women everything they want to hear. I'd probably score a date within a week if I was a 6-foot-1 purchasing VP without an ex-wife or son. I could Bernie Madoff my way into some serious poontang. Women don't need to know the reality, do they?  | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 2:13:28 PM |
i suspect this is fairly close to the truth and works both ways - that is, men and women both come here expecting immediate fulfillment of their relationship fantasy. many women expect prince charming to gallop into their inbox, and many men expect a troupe of megan fox lookalikes to be sitting around waiting to be propositioned. they gripe and stamp their feet when they find out online dating takes actual time and effort.
Not only time and effort, but thick skin. When rejected, we men tend to lash out at the objects of our "e-affection" and call them ****es/sluts/etc. when before they either ignored or outright rejected us, we thought they were the bee's knees.
If you're a man and get rejected 9/10 times in the real world, don't expect your odds to improve for online dating. And no, posting a picture of a hot guy will only get you emails, not actual dates. Once she sees you aren't who she thought you were, she's gone!
People also expect these online matchmaking algorithms to make sure they avoid "bad dates;" all the while forgetting that meeting in person is the only thing online dating sites can help you with.
Oh, and POFers aren't all desperate. I've heard the sentiment "if he/she were really serious about dating, they'd use a pay site like e-harmony." No, wrong, sorry. Stupid people would pay for a site like that; I'd take the Pepsi Challenge that those sites yield results that are no better than this site does. | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 3:22:27 PM |  Yep, it's fvcked up online! But I cling to the thought their's possibly something to be gained/learned. It's frustrating and agrivating at times, because it seems online social networking just enables people to me spinless and rude. My basis for saying that is because I don't believe you can fairly analyze people over a computer to make a fair sound judgement. But some seem to think it's possible. Anyone who catch's my interest, I ask myself before contacting them if I feel they would be worth meeting. If the answer is no, then I wont contact them. | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 4:15:27 PM | This online thingy is no worse, no better than the real world. In fact,,,,once you get old enough to know better,,,,you will understand this place is actually a pretty good reflection of the general population, including the new "thought process" of the majority.
You'll find thousands of people here that "know what they want",,,yet are here for as long as I am. You'll find the players,,,,and those that get played,,,,continuously, it seems. You'll find those that fall "in love" at first sight,,,,cause of that chemistry thingy. (those ones always come back,,,usually after they proclaim here about their "true love" they magically found. I could go on,,,but it's all here in one little package for your viewing pleasure.
If ya wanna learn,,,and learn fast about humans and their nature,,,,this is the place!!!!!!! | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 4:29:16 PM | The ONLY thing this site or any other site can do is make people who MIGHT match up, AWARE of one anothers' existence and at least theoretical availability.
Yes, it can create a sense of "endless shopping opportunities", and apparently there is still a fair-sized contingent of males who think online dating site=hookup heaven.
Anyone who catch's my interest, I ask myself before contacting them if I feel they would be worth meeting. If the answer is no, then I wont contact them. Just because you think that they are worth meeting does not mean they will always think the same way. In the absence of any of the nuances that can be observed in person, people look for information in the pictures and profile to see if there is a spark there of potential connection-a shared interest, a mind that works the same way, a sense of humor, a good heart...
I've said this before,but it's been my experience and observation that online personal ad sites can tend to be places where idealists seek a wider selection than just what might stumble across their path IRL. It's taken out the unfortunate condition of looking around the diameter of your real-world life, and talking yourself into the least unpalatable option available-or else staying single. It's also opened up a larger vista for less-serious involvements. And believe it or not, there are still a lot of people who meet someone with whom there is a shared desire to be together, without the sometimes dubious assistance of the internet.
Online personal ad sites are simply another venue, not a magic solution, nor a vending machine for dating and romance.
Cindy O | |
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| Online dating more difficult than real life!!!
Posted: 10/25/2010 4:37:58 PM | I think what you will ultimately recognize, is that online dating is neither harder, or easier than real life.
It's totally different.
In real life, reasons you have better luck include:
- you can SEE the person reacting to you AS you approach them, so without any verbal communication at all, you both do enough "sorting," that you can sharply reduce ahead of time, the number of outright rejections you get. Chances are you are currently not even AWARE of how many people who have rejected you in real life, because you both successfully 'pre-tested' each other. Online, the "sorting" has to wait until you risk an email.
- in real life, you are meeting people who are already doing things you do. It's why you ran into them in the first place. Online, you only have the vague things listed on their profile, no doubt SOME of which were put there as a 'disguise' or pad, to make the person seem more interesting. They may have put in various interests that you also have, but for them the interest is very minor, while for you it is intense. Again, easier to misunderstand online, so has to be taken into account.
- if you meet people in a normal dating venue, like a club, then you are meeting them at a time that THEY have chosen to make themselves available TO date. Online, your email might arrive just after they met someone else, after they had a bad experience with someone who LOOKS like you, but isn't as nice, or just as they are deciding to take a break from dating. You wont find out until you attempt contact, and get shot down.
- many people create their profiles, and then never look at them again. Even though THEY change, the old profile remains, like Dorian Grey's painting, waiting to fool others into thinking the person is still bubbling , full of energy, and hot to date the next person who shows an interest, while in reality the owner of the profile is tires, discouraged, or even just too damn busy with a project to think about starting something new.
Again, bottom line is: DIFFERENT. Harder in some ways, easier in others, but overall, DIFFERENT. | |
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