I'm not sure what all the elements are, but I think both people must be happy alone and not needy for companionship. They can each live by themselves and still explore life with the same energy. Also, both people need to have a positive outlook on life. I think when we live long enough, we all have past events to harp about that can keep some of us grounded in sadness. There are those of us who can accept the past and still embrace the present and future with vitality.

I think real love is psychosomatic. Those who don't believe in real love can never experience it. One can often tell these people right away---they're worn down, jaded, and bitter. I believe there are basically three types of middle-aged people: those of us who still believe with complete conviction in the potential for pure love, those of us who think it's just a big sappy hoax, and those of us that are stuck somewhere in the middle.

When we meet someone we always expect to find that spark, that initial attraction, that connects us and tells us that we can see ourselves with that person. We'd like to reach that connection on every level, but are we delusional to expect to find real "LOVE" at this point of our lives?

I was talking with a platonic friend, I met a year ago, from here, last night, and that's what he asked me, "What have you found missing in the men you've met so far?" When I thought about it I realized that it was that illusive feeling of "love". I'm looking to "be" loved and "to" love. Am I just being delusional?

You easily can find love. It could be a married man, a guy much much younger than you,......,

About that platonic friend you met on POF asking you that question, I bet he wants you to be his whatever, but you turned him into just a friend. So, what's missing in him?

You took a wrong decision. Now are you expecting somebody to fix it for you ? Like someone has to come up and suck up your bad stuff and make you happy ? Someone to come up and start dancing for you ? That is gone.

Why is that such a problem for some people?

In my humble opinion, on-line dating is a poor environment compared to meeting someone through friends/family/social organizations. Like a bar, it’s an unnatural environment where people are cloaked in their armor, only superficial traits show through, not good for meeting someone with long term possibilities.

In the non-virtual social world one has “certified” references, with the opportunity to observe another in natural settings over a period of time. In the virtual world one has a handful of photos (hopefully recent) and a few lines of verbiage.

In my humble opinion, on-line dating is a poor environment compared to meeting someone through friends/family/social organizations. Like a bar, it’s an unnatural environment where people are cloaked in their armor, only superficial traits show through, not good for meeting someone with long term possibilities.

What you're overlooking is the simple reality: the people online are the exact same people you'll meet in the off-line world.

While this is simply my opinion, I do not believe many people on-line conduct themselves in the same manner than they do in the off-line world. While one group may conduct themselves the same in both worlds, the web's anonymity and anything goes attitude lead others to act in disingenuous manners.

In the non-virtual social world one has “certified” references, with the opportunity to observe another in natural settings over a period of time. In the virtual world one has a handful of photos (hopefully recent) and a few lines of verbiage.

If you are meet-n-greeting this is likely true. If you are, however, investing time/effort/energy in email, phone/texts, it's very likely you'll know a great deal about someone prior to the actually first date/meeting. If you meet someone through family/friends/etc., you'll know a LOT less about them then you'll know if you talk/listen to that person for yourself, versus what someone else tells you that person is about. Online is simply an OPTION for making a connection of some sort ~ after that? It's just like dating in the off-line world. Why is that? Because it becomes dating in the off-line world the moment you meet in person.

Online is simply an OPTION for making a connection of some sort ~ after that? It's just like dating in the off-line world. Why is that? Because it becomes dating in the off-line world the moment you meet in person.

While on-line dating is a viable alternative, there is much deception and role playing compared to the real world. Recent edition of Scientific American Mind quotes three independent, large scale studies indicating ~90% of those on-line practice deception. May be simply shaving a few years off their age or hiding illegal scams. The studies also indicate ~17% of on-line users are happy with the experience.

Less you believe I'm anti-on-line, two close friends met their mates on-line (at other sites) and I believe are happy married. I'm simply stating my belief that the odds of meeting someone special for a long term relationship on-line are lower than real world meetings.

The distinction is moving from: "We connect, so we're a couple" to "We connect, so we'll enjoy this and see where it grows". In other words, my cheap advice is focus on relating and not relationship; relating builds connection and compatibility builds enduring connections. Gosh, I've worked hard at relationships; it's very possible to have good relationships with people who are not deeply compatible. But I think the "real love" actually is a catch phrase for deep compatibility.