| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 7/19/2005 9:00:11 PM | My theory: women want relationships, and men* just want sex without having to spend a lot of time and money on dating.
I would have to disagree with you on this one. If women wanted relationships they wouldn't be so fast to pack-n-go.
In my case it was just the opposite of your theory. I wanted a relationship. I wanted the woman I married, someone with whom to share adventures and dreams, like we did early on.
Alas....I ended up with a shell with a stranger living in there whe she used to be.
Our "shared" interests had vanished and I hadn't changed
"women marry a guy hoping to change them but they can't.
Men marry a woman hoping she won't change but she does"
This is a 100% accurate statement of my situation. | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 2:03:15 AM | | She walked out on me and my kids two weeks after she went and got her tubes tied (8 years after i had a vasectomy )and then wanted me to pay for having her tubes tied Oh yeah when they did the tube tyeing they removed a growth. Hum wounder what that was? One week before getting her tubes tied she came in and said the test she had to take for the surgery showed she was prego when i said i was going to go have myself tested to see if the vasectomy reversed its self she then said they gave her an other test and it said she wasn't prego yeah right! When she left she left with only her cloths! | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 3:12:40 AM | I did..my choice. Took my sons, half the furnishings and our clothes. Oh..and the crappy little firefly..left him the new van. I have sole custody ( with good reason) and we "share" custody of our pitty...Tytin. Fair deal..i think!! | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 5:03:28 AM | 1st marriage.......... I didn't walk, I ran, still ended up hospitalized, didn't run fast enough ....... Took me several years to get custody of the kids and never got thing from our house, not even the kids clothes.
2nd marriage ..... I walked! My, then, serious self-esteem problems made me feel I was wrecking his life so I left .......... all belongings were amicabily split
3rd marriage......... He walked, not that I was sad about it at all, you see he left to be with his new boyfriend!!!............... That was 15 years ago and I still celebrate the day :lol: | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 5:48:11 AM | I took her to dinner. I told her in the middle of the dinner that I didn’t want to be married to her anymore. I told her that she could keep the house (and the payments) or that I would. She chose the latter. I told her she was welcome to anything in the house. I offered the use of my truck and the manpower to help her move, and I gave her all the time she wanted to leave.
Two months later, I went on a 2 day business trip. I came home to an empty house with a note in the middle of the floor. It said she didn’t inform me about her move because she didn’t want any physical confrontation (not logical, but designed to sound good in court if needed).
I still count my blessings | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 6:07:39 AM | I left.
It's an odd situation because he was the stay-at-home dad (not my choice, he refused to work.) So I was fortunate to have the financial means to move on. And yes, I pay him child support AND alimony.
Since I left, I can't tell you HOW many women have told me they want to do the same thing but can't afford to.
Why I left - he was very, VERY manipulative and controlling. To the point where I wasn't permitted to have friends, talk online, etc. And in 12 years, believe me, there was absolutely no reason he couldn't trust me.
I still am in the habit of deleting all my cookies and changing passwords even though he can't look at my stuff anymore. He even went through my work briefcase. | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 6:36:06 AM | omg Pandora I swear your situation is exactly like mine as far as the contolling stuff goes, its been 4 yrs I am still deleting my cookies  Why?
He left because I told him we were done. I kept kids and house then later bought my own, nothing too messy. It's good to be free of the obsessive control but never a pretty thing for all concerned (our girls)...I'm glad it's all over. Amasingly enough you get through it! | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 6:41:46 AM | | A lot of sad stories here with some humor thrown in to try and deal with it all. After 20 years of marriage, my mother finally walked...taking the 4 kids and not much else. As I look back, I believe it took her that long to leave because she never felt as though she had any choices in life. Her self esteem was the pits. The best thing she ever did for herself was go back to work. It built her up and gave her some confidence. Do I believe she should have walked? Absolutely. | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 6:45:42 AM | We seperated 2 times before we filed for divorce. The first time, I got an apt. that would let me keep my 2 little dogs and I took the kids and moved out. We reunited after about 3 1/2 months. The second time I figured I left last time- so I packed him a bag and told him not to come back. He literally lives at work during the summer anyway, so no one even noticed, except the kids ofcourse. The last time, we owned 2 houses and the person renting the extra was moving out and I told him he should move there.....so he did. And we lived happily ever after. | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 8:18:21 AM | I left, but very easy divorce. We sat down and wrote on a piece of paper what she got and what I got. I gave her some money for the house and had joint custody of the kids.
It was so over, there was no anger. More like a business transaction. | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 8:45:09 AM | He walked after I offered to leave him with the house - and the house payments to pay on his own. Until then, he kept promising to go, but could never find a place. So, obviously, I got the house, and the mortgage. We really had nothing to "clean" at that point. I knew the divorce was coming and had the finances set up so very little had both our names on it. He walked with his loans and assets, I kept mine. Not enough to fight over, so legal fees were minimal. He did not bother to hire an attorney. I just wanted out, so I tried to be reasonably fair to get it done fast. You said no excuses, and after 11 years plus it would be sillly to engage in ex-bashing, so my reasons will remain my own business.
Peace to all - the great thing about divorce is you don't have to fight any more.
Lovin' it,
Victorious | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 8:51:27 AM |
Stats say that over 2/3 of all D's are initiated by the gal.
I would have to agree with the stats....but they do not take into consideration the things that were done/said by the guy that would make the gal want to leave in the first place
I skied on both my marriages....had to!! | |
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xpxpk
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Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 138 | |
| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 9:43:02 AM | | I walked. Felt guilty. Gave her everything. She has a really nice house, no mortgage. I have a house, big mortgage. I'm such a humanitarian. | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 10:01:11 AM | also after she left it was found that she was having an affair shes now unhapply married to the guy she had the affair with gotta love the hummor in it all 
[One week before getting her tubes tied she came in and said the test she had to take for the surgery showed she was prego when i said i was going to go have myself tested to see if the vasectomy reversed its self she then said they gave her an other test and it said she wasn't prego yeah right! ]
^^^^^^we hadn't had sex for over a month and a half | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 10:10:08 AM | Why do guys think that the women get everything? I walked after 17 years of trying to keep a broken marrage together, he walked out 4 months after we married because his ex wanted him back. haha He was back within a week but thats how my life was for the whole 17 years. I told him that I was not willing to except him disapearing for weeks on end or the other women anymore, he emptied the bank accounts and went home to his mother. I filed for divorce the next day so realy I guess we both walked. | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 11:43:17 AM | | Caught her having an affair and would not give an oppotunity to try to explain what was going on. It was done. | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 11:51:24 AM | 1st marriage: I _RAN_, with three kids and what I could pack into a beat-up Chevette. Having someone sit on your chest with their hands around your throat, saying "If I could reach a gun from here, you'd be dead," will spook a person JUST a tad.
2nd marriage: He decided, but I walked and left him with the house (he had it when I met him - seemed fair, even though he offered it). Took only that for which I had paid. No alimony, no issues, minimal drama and VERY few hard feelings, under the circumstances. We're still friends. | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 8:26:31 PM | | I walked after 25 years...was tired of trying to make it work by myself..didnt take a dime or any material things except pictures of the kids growing up and their bikes and sporting equipment..started out fresh and made it on my own....and havent looked back.... | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 9:03:14 PM | | After 4 years of marriage, my wife walked, thought the grass was greener(turned out to be burnt though), she took my two babies, which as of this past Monday, I finally got back(4 years of trying)...she also emptied out my house of all of its belongings, had some relatives help me out with some of the things she tookk....went to work, was driving truck at the time, went for an overnight trip, came back to my house emptied again.....lovely eh!! Thats ok, all that is in the past now, and I have my angels back with me , where they belong, and that makes up for everything....Rob | |
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Chills
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Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 145 | |
| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 9:05:05 PM | She did, and I've thanked her repeatedly for it!
Just the facts, who walked, and was it your choice? | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 10:01:39 PM | | I walked, with just a garbage bag of my clothes and no money, he was bi-polar and forgot to tell me LOL | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 10:44:12 PM | hahanow, when you had him deported did you have a lawyer that said you wouldn't be getting any spousal/child support if you did that?
I filed against an immigrant, who has, according to the policeman I spoke to, commited a felony. That is forging documents (such as a will or power of attorney) for financial gain. The policeman said if the DA's office took it on and accepted it, that he would most probably be doing jail time before being deported.
I have an ace in my pocket but it could really bite me if I use it wrong.......... | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/10/2005 10:58:43 PM | I walked. I told him to get out, that I was done. Finished. I told him that because of his addictions, he was in deep depression, and dragging me down with him. He refused to get help. I decided I had enough. End of story.
And now, I am sooooo much happier. Just gotta get through the divorce... | |
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| Who walked from your marriage(s)
Posted: 9/11/2005 3:31:01 AM | My wife bailed, 5 weeks after we were married! To this day I do not know why she did leave; everyone in my family and my friends were shocked. I came to work and that Monday, she just disappeared. I got an email a few days later saying she's sorry but she found someone else. Best yet, she was a foreigner, and she simply used me to come to the US of A.
Worse yet, my friends were warning me, because the vibe she gave out at first but I didn't listen. In my family, it was not good but no one wanted to say anything to me because they thought I would get pissed at them. We're divorced now, and I still do not know where she is. If you want details, email me and I'll explain more in depth.
AG | |
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