| | lots of contact before first datePage 2 of 2 (1, 2) | | It's a dating style born of a personality that borders on obsessive at best. You are very lucky she didn't feel a connection. | |
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| lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/15/2010 9:05:15 AM | | ^^I agree. You dodged a bullet OP. The 30 texts a day is a good indication that she's OCD in some way. No way would I meet someone who sent me even 1/4 of that number of texts in a day. | |
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| lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/15/2010 4:03:58 PM | As soon as I get more than one or two "text msgs" a day from the same person, I start worrying,,,,,especially if they are compliments,,,,and double especially if they don't know me from Adam. Hell, my mother knows enough not to say two nice things to me in a 24 hour period.
Some people live in la la land. They believe fairy tales, wishes, dreams and everything else that goes with it. Reality is something that rarely enters their lives. It's not really a big deal, cause ya didn't get that second date,so no skin off your bum. Unless of course you spent as much energy on the "potential" of that hope as she did. | |
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| lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/15/2010 9:19:19 PM | | It's called chemistry dude. This is why I don't get how some people can get so close via proxy before meeting. Another poster had it right. She built up an image of you that no man could have lived up to. She expected everything to be perfect like some crappy chick flick or dime store romance novel. I do not think she was rooted in reality, she was rooted in media images. It seems more of the type of thing you go through as a kid, puppy love. It is possible she found another fish in that interim, but not a certainty. Do your best to just move on, forget this investment of your time and energy and move forward! Good luck! | |
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| lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/15/2010 11:35:26 PM | ~OP~ I call what you are describing being "technologized." When email/text/phones replace real live human contact. I did it for YEARS on and off. I had electronic boyfriends. I didn't look for other electronic boyfriends while I had one, but I didn't think in terms of turning any one of them into a real-life boyfriend, either. It was simple, non-complicated, didn't need to get out of my jammies if I didn't want to, etc. If you never want to find yourself in that position again, I'd suggest that in the future you make it quite clear you want to meet face to face and avoid all of the techno stuff. It's really the only certain way to ensure you may actually meet/date for real or not. JMO  | |
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| lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/16/2010 5:56:16 AM |
It's called chemistry dude.
No it wasn't .
Walts is right.
I do not think she was rooted in reality
But you thinking 30 texts a day IS? Oh FFS
You seem a bit delusional/unrooted in reality to me if you think other wise .
All those sex industry numbers..Chemistry huh? | |
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| lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/18/2010 12:57:44 PM | This is why you should meet sooner, rather than later, OP. There are some things you cannot determine, except by a Real Life, face-to-face meeting/date. The ONLY time I ever agree to chat for an extended period of time (more than 2-3 weeks) before meeting IRL, is when there are distance factors involved.
5 years ago, I lived in Vancouver & was chatting with someone in Sechelt, it took about 2 & 1/2 weeks of chatting before I decided to take the ferry over, for a face-to-face. When I started talking to someone in Abbotsford,wechatted via POF's IM & then MSN for 2 weeks, 3 weeks via cellphone, before we actually met. It actually was a fairly good idea, as we'd gotten to know each other pretty well, & so there was much less initial "first date" nervousness.
MY current S/O, we met via a friend here in the forums (long story)
We talked approx. 2 - 5 hours every day/night on Skype for over 2 months, before I was able to make a trip to Boise. I'm here for a 3 week visit, we're now in a committed relationship & I am moving here next summer.
So, while a little odd, your situation isn't all that unusual. Good luck & keep on 
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| lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/18/2010 1:06:53 PM | That chick is a HORRIBLE online dater and has absolutely no clue how it's done. Building expectations up like that before meeting in person is lunacy.
Had I been texted like that, even from a hottie, I'd probably either not go on the date or bring two bo-bos with me for protection from some crazy biotch who probably wants to scalp me and wear it around the house.
You dodged a bullet, dude! Be thankful, Thanksgiving is almost here! | |
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| lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/18/2010 3:30:55 PM | OP, I see you havn't replied during your thread so I sincerely hope you're reading this.
We are on YOUR side and I'm glad to see your experience hasn't put you off.
I see too many people deleting their accounts (presumably) as a result of a bad experience on here and even worse, negative feedback from here and even bashing the OP.
Keep your chin up, OP. Internet dating is not easy. Perhaps just put your experience to just that - experience.
Fairly recently I was talking to man who unnervingly (is that a word?) lol......unnervingly began to call me twice a day. He talked slowly and kept repeating my name over and over after about every 5 words or so. It made me feel uneasy.
One day he text me 3 times asking why my tone of voice had changed. I said I felt uneasy and you seem way too eager. He replied saying "Well I havn't had a girlfriend for so long and I can't wait to meet you so we can "get wet" together."
I hung up on him, deleted his number from my phone and blocked him here.
What I'm saying is, I went with my gut instinct. I was creeped out by only 3 calls on one single day. 30 calls indicates unhealthy obsessiveness.
You do well to avoid her from now on. All the best. xx | |
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| lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/21/2010 4:20:31 PM | | It's close to impossible not to build up an image of somebody or have any expectations at all after several days of contact. First of all it only makes sense to talk as often as you can before a date, or at least if the other person lives far away. I've "been there" many times and yes, IRL is a BIG step to take from the Internet. Reality is always different. I've never dated somebody who was exactly the way I'd expected. However, there have also been times when reality was even better. The only way to avoid all this is to simply set up a date early on and keep the contact rather short, e.g., 15-20 min. a day over the phone, emails, etc. But even then one's mind can easily start drifting away. | |
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| lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/21/2010 5:30:35 PM | Does it really matter? I mean who knows it sounds to me that for what ever reason she was scared off. This doesn't mean that you did something, she could have got bent over one sentence you said which opened her old luggage and she stereotyped you.
I wouldn't get too deflated. I would just make sure your profile describer exactly who and what you really want people to know about you. | |
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| lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/21/2010 5:39:30 PM | I think you would have known if she was expecting sex from her texts, phone calls, emails, or whatever; and, if you are a quality guy and wanted more than a 1-niter, or if the 'chemistry' just wasn't there and you didn't show her that good time that some idiot thinks she was expecting (cause that's probably what HE's into), then fuhgetaboutit and move on - frankly, she sounds like the stalker-type, or is bi-polar, and who needs that s****
someone that makes judgements about a person without even meeting them is immature | |
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| lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/21/2010 7:13:21 PM | I had one of these in the beginning, but hey, I was young and foolish! Ok, never mind, just foolish! Had no more long running build ups after that, but I did get some good presents out of the deal from her that my S.O. and I got to use though!
The robe and the shoes I gave to a woman at work!  | |
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| lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/21/2010 7:23:14 PM | Getting to know you > wanting to know you. It happens a lot for men and women.
Fantasy before meeting > reality | |
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