| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 7/21/2005 11:32:00 PM | aw buttercup he sounds like a grade a ass your so pretty and i bet inteligent move on to the next guy that will devote more time to you like you deserve girly. | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 7/26/2005 9:25:23 PM | Why did he freaked out? Can you tell me your ideas?
Butter-cup...he freaked out cuz he could. As a former rules reader I gotta say who knows why he did....maybe he just isn't as stable as you thought he was. I agree with almost everyone...forget him. Don't email him, don't call him. He'll get the message when you cut him out on business. I like that move....checkmate.
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 7/30/2005 6:17:06 PM | Thanks everyone. When I had left his city, we had planned to get together this weekend. He had said that he was looking forward to seeing me this weekend in the same email as he said he was freaking out.. I didn't call, gave him plenty of space and he never called again. I was thankful that I could check this thread to remind me that he isn't interested in me, which is as pathetic as it sounds!
The ball is in his court. | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 7/30/2005 11:33:44 PM | Buttercup, you are a lovely lady.
Why, on God's Green Earth, would you choose a long-distance relationship?
The only time they have worked out for me is when they were the result of me being TDY, or stationed temporarily elsewhere prior to returning, OR, in the alternative, where I met a young lady elsewhere, hit it off and eventually planned to move there to be with her / seek work in her home town, etc.
Otherwise -- and forgive my crassness -- it's a booty call with a high price tag.
Your photo looks like you may have a professional career. In Washington, DC there developed a new classification: Geographically Desireable. That is, is the object of your affections reasonably close by? Can you enjoy a mid-week romp and quality time with them? Overnight?
Traffic and ability to reach the workplace from your sweeties' was a key factor.
Also, and I don't mean to harp on the negative, once Mr. Happy has reached the Objective, feeling standoffish afterwards, rather than becoming insatiable, is not a good indicator.
Granted this is from my own limited Male-Female relations, but 'going into a cave' means he wants distance, and not in a good way. Unless there are other factors involved, he may like you too much or be too whimpy simply to make a clean break.
Insufficient attention is a standard passive-aggressive way of making the breakup seem like your idea.
That's my assessment.
This is Dr. Fraser Crane, and I'm listening. | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 7/30/2005 11:39:34 PM |
I am sometimes agressive to keep the relationship active.
I think you have your answer right there...it was a very quiet sentence but to me, it spoke volumes... | |
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bobby7
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Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 31 | |
| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/3/2006 5:34:16 PM | If this 'man' does not want to drag you to his cave,
he is not worth worrying about...When a lady does consent to sex,
it should mean the beginning of a beautiful relationship..Not the end! | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/4/2006 4:41:37 AM | Yeah, it's over...and HE'S JUST NOT THAAAAT INTO YOU.
It doesn't take a genius to know what's up :
1) It's a long distance relationship -> Distance is already a killer.
2) You THINK he is not cheating on you -> Distance + intuition = possibility of him cheating or with someone else.
3) No response to sexy picture -> Maybe bc he has someone else.
4) He told you to be SO not into him -> No need for explanation.
There you go ......4 main points ( that YOU, yourself brought up, not I )....and yet, you still wonder? COME ON! | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/4/2006 5:15:56 AM | ya he had another girl maybe and did not want you to barge in
and maybe he just was not into you that much
it happens to everyone,hellll that due cheated on Christie Brinkley
you are cute you will bounce back | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/4/2006 5:39:44 AM |
I used to be a perfect Rules girl but not anymore... They work until you relax and be yourself.. and then they loose interest anyway
And why not? You were being something you were not. What he was interested/attracted in was the lie, and once the lie went away he wasn't interested.
Wouldn't you rather "be yourself", and have someone truely attracted to you for who you are, rather than some "facade" you've put up just to try and win their attention. Because nobody in this world can keep that facade up forever.
Following some silly rules, keeping the facade up, is like being the wizard of oz... "Pay no attention to the man/woman behind the curtain". Trouble is, eventually they're gonna discover the curtain, and see the person behind the curtain. If thats not what they were interested in, you've basically wasted all that time and effort for nothing. I'd rather be myself, at least that way when they are interested in me, they're gonna be interested in who I'm gonna be 6 months, a year, whatever, down the line... *me*. | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/4/2006 5:46:35 AM | | LDRs take alot more work than regular relationships. I had one that went really strong for a long time till I decided to take him up on his plane ticket, and we met finally. Things went downhill after I got back home. He freaked out because he was afraid of commitment and had been seeing someone closeby, on the side. It became apparent that he was a player and had no intentions of making a commitment to me, so I did next him. Same with the next man. If something is feeling off, then you're wasting your time trying to keep it together. It takes both to make it work, and not just one sided. Witholding sex, just doesn't make for a great relationship either....especially if someone is lousy at it to begin with. lol.....won't mention any names, but someone couldn't get his game on very often, and when he did it was for a very short amount of time......I overlooked that, too, but it still didn't work out. The next one could but still didn't want to commit to anyone. | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/4/2006 7:54:16 AM | | Yes men do retreat to their caves, and my experience is to let them go. If I'm still around when they venture out of it, good for us. If not, oh well. Unless of course said cave dweller specifically asked me to wait until he ventures out again. That might be a different story. And there are men out there who know they have a need for space and can be upfront about it. Everyone needs to have time alone every now and then. The trick is to understand yourself well enough to appreciate this and let any potential partner in on the fact when it's about to happen. Communication is the key. Always. | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/4/2006 8:44:29 AM | OMG People, why do you persist in dragging topics from over a year ago back to the forefront and adress them like they are an on going issue? Take a look at the OP's profile, She is a ghost. She hasn't been active in over a year now. Hell it's been over a year since this topic was last replied to even. I simply don't get it. Boggle.  
Have fun ;)!
PS: I see dead people. Welcome back Veedub! | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/4/2006 9:36:30 AM |
I used to be a perfect Rules girl but not anymore... They work until you relax and be yourself.. and then they loose interest
think about it. You act one way for awhile and he is interested and then you quit acting and be yourself and he is no longer interested....
Maybe if you were just yourself from the begining you would attract guys that like you instead of the game you are playing.... Then you could continue being yourself and he would continue liking you.
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/4/2006 9:45:36 AM | Well maybe he feels it ain't all that  Personally I would try my best if I had met someone who I find interesting and she is a long ways away from me to either move near her or have her move near me 
Long distance relationships are very much (in my mind  ) like having a girl/guy at every port  a sailor kinda thing 
He may very well be a player and not a cave dweller but is into LDR because it allows him to live his life style accordingly  then when he notices an attachment that might be out of his comfort zone  then self sabortage clicks and the relationship will self destruck in 5 seconds 
Move on or move closer to him  or remember there are plenty of fish in the sea  so don't fret much you are quite the traffic stopper  won't be long before you land a much bigger and maybe even more tastier catch  | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/4/2006 3:28:50 PM | Sugar:
He's gone! Don't put your life on hold...life's tooooooooo short!
If and when he comes back out of the cave or wherever else he might have been you can decide if there's still room in your life for him!
If a guy really wants to be with you he can learn that if he needs time off by himself he could let you know and reassure you that he still cares about you and will be back.
Meanwhile, enjoy your life!!! | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/5/2006 11:31:48 AM | Did you ever notice that the ones you're not interested in don't stay away? Do you think it is entirely because of the challenge? Well it isn't. It is because you are doing your own thing all the while, they like watching that. They don't want someone all googoo eyed, someone who is "nervous" and lost her confidence
OVER A MAN!!!!!!???
Well, I HAVE been there before and each of them proved to be "just human beings" so I don't think I'll go there again.
Do not ever lose sight of who you are, how valuable you are, and that he does not "inherit the earth" just because you spent a weekend together.
"Don't be so much into me" speaks volumes. It means "whoa, girl, slow down. Have a life outside of me." Remember that life outside of him was one of the things that made him want to meet you. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 44 | |
| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/5/2006 10:10:23 PM |
"Don't be so much into me" speaks volumes. It means "whoa, girl, slow down. Have a life outside of me." Remember that life outside of him was one of the things that made him want to meet you.
This is exactly right.
It's not about the challenge and if you decide to withhold sex as a tactical move, you'll soon find out that it rarely works. Just be the woman that you were and don't be so eager. | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/6/2006 5:06:39 AM | The Rules?
http://www.therulesbook.com/topten.html
Are you talking about these rules for women and dating?
1 Be a "creature unlike any other."
2 Don't talk to a man first (and don't ask him to dance).
3 Don't meet him halfway or go dutch with him on a date.
4 Don't call him and rarely return his phone calls.
5 Always end phone calls first.
6 Don't accept a Saturday night date after Wednesday.
7 Always end the date first.
8 Stop dating him if he doesn't buy you a romantic gift for your birthday or Valentines day.
9 Don't see him more than once or twice a week.
10 No more than casual kissing on the first date.
11 Don't tell him what to do.
12 Don't expect a man to change or try to change him.
13 Don't open up too fast.
14 Don't date a married man.
15 Be easy to live with.
16 Don't stare at men or talk too much.
17 Don't live with a man (or leave your things in his apartment).
18 Even if you're engaged or married, you still need the rules.
19 Do the Rules even when your friends or parents think you're nuts!
20 Be Smart and other rules for dating in high school.
21 Take Care of yourself and other Rules for dating in college.
22 Next! And other Rules for dealing with Rejection.
23 Don't discuss the Rules with your therapist.
24 Don't break the Rules.
25 Do the Rules and you'll live happily ever after.
26 Love only those who love you.
I don't think the following should be taken to serious, but it is funny
http://www.templetons.com/brad/rulesguys.html | |
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| Is my man in his cave or is it over?
Posted: 11/6/2006 3:10:07 PM | | i luv my man in his cave...all the cooking and cleaning going on in his bitsy loin cloth...whoa, then when he starts polishing up his big club It ain't over till its over | |
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