| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/28/2006 10:18:56 AM | | I belonged to another dating site not long ago. I posted several pictures of myself on my profile. I think it was 6 to be exact. Someone took my pictures and had some fun with Photo Shop and well, they used my pictures to create a fake profile. I must admit, the one that showed when they posted was a bit provocative, according to my perception, but it wasn't as bad as what they did to the other 5 photos. They were all nude photos and just totally trashy. By this I mean Playboy or Penthouse would have turned them down for being so vulgar. I am a volunteer for the Special Olympics here in my area. I've done this for about 25 years now. I'm pretty well known with this organization and with most of the parents/families who have children and/or adult family members that participate in our games every year. Imagine my surprise when I had not one, but three parents/family members confront me while at a meeting, telling me how horrified they were to find my pictures on the internet. Mind you, they didn't give a flying rats a$$ that I was on a dating site. They were just concerned that this had happened. They knew it wasn't something I would do. Needless to say, I'm sure one parent saw the picture and she/he called the other two and they of course had to go and take a look. I was so upset that I had to leave the meeting immediately. I went home and pulled up the user name one of them gave me and sure enough, there was my face but that was all that belonged to me. I immediately sent an instant message to the person and explained that I was on to their game and I would be taking legal action. I should have kept my mouth shut and just went ahead with the legal action. However, within 15 minutes of contacting the faker, the profile was deleted. Thank goodness the parents/family members questioned me about it, because they knew me and knew that something like that would be totally out of character for me. Otherwise there is no telling how long it would have stayed on the internet. That's my reason for not posting a picture. I stand by my decision and if I lose out on meeting Mr. Wonderful, then so be it. I will not take that chance again. I did however have a photo of my granddoggie up, until today. With the new rule of no animal pictures, I asked a moderator if I was breaking the rules and she told me that yes, it could be construed as such, so I have removed that also. I have nothing to hide, and after emailing or chatting with someone that I feel comfortable about, I have NO problem sending them pictures of myself. There are two sides to every coin and I can understand why no picture does indeed raise doubt, and I respect those that stand by their belief of no photo/no email. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/28/2006 10:26:25 AM | | Usually they are men who want an illicit affair and don't want to be discovered. I'm sure they will send a pic if you show interest. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/28/2006 10:27:17 AM | | IMHO not posting pix sorts out the good guys from the ones who just want a piece of ass. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/28/2006 10:33:40 AM | All I can say is that a lot of women as well as men have stated "no photos...no reply"
I have photos and I still hardly get a reply so I have devoted myself mainly to the forums. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/28/2006 11:01:50 AM | will this thread ever go away! if you don't want to put up a PIC! then don't never let any one bully! you in to doing! it. unless it's your CHOICE! PICS NO PICS! who really! cares anyway!  | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/28/2006 11:22:49 AM | I am the same as you Legal, I will not send a intro letter either without saying that I have a picture that I am more than willing to send.
I agree with all your reasons for not posting a picture.
Also single parents with children may not want to show their picture to the whole site. They are being cautious.
I think if people were honest they would admit that if they see a picture of a "hot" person they don't read the profile, just email and add to favourites. So really what is that person interested in?
I know I'm going to take a bashing on this one.
Personally I like to read the entire profile and make a decision if I want to contact the person. Having a picture posted is neither here or there with me, if I like what the person has said I will contact them. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/28/2006 11:23:59 AM |
IMHO not posting pix sorts out the good guys from the ones who just want a piece of ass.
really now. So just because I chose not to publicly display my pics I am out to get laid and I am not a good guy?
Well as i stated before. I was on another site last year, and it just so happend that a couple of people i worked with happened to surf that site and low and behold they seen my mug on the main page with some others profiles/pics...and so it was quite embarrassing and annoying to hear the immature razzing and cheap shot comments over and over when I would come to work. So I chose on this site to hide my pics and when i send out a message I attach a pic or two with it.
if this is a wrong thing to do then I am sorry but no way am I going to get that humiliated again. You never know what some people will say and do. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/28/2006 11:32:47 AM | A friend of mine had her picture taken from a dating site and used in about 5 other sites.
I volunteer my time to several organizations and will not take the chance of my picture being scattered all over the net.
If not having a picture posted means I am limiting my chance of meeting someone then so be it. If people are interested in your profile they will ask for one.
Some people are shy, live in small towns, work in professional occupations and would rather friends/work collegues don't know they are on a dating site, everyone has their own reasons. I think if someone is trying to pull the wool over your eyes you will figure that out. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/28/2006 11:34:35 AM | | msg 156 oh so you are CLAIRVOYANT! did you put that in your profile! GET REAL! | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/28/2006 12:28:37 PM | | I did find since I put something on my profile...I got responses...I figure since I cant get my pic on here....yet.....I might as well put pictures that explain a little bit about the way I think. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/29/2006 9:22:07 AM | | I could care less if my pic got scattered all over the net. I am confidant with myself to care what others think about what I may or may not be doing. Maybe some of these people don't want their pic posted for fear of being found out because they want to cheat on their spouses. (SOME, NOT ALL I SAID) | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/29/2006 9:29:49 AM | | why would their spouse admit they caught them on here. Then they'd have to explain why they were here themselves.... | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/29/2006 9:58:19 AM | Well Adam I guess you can handle having co-workers razz you constantly and say smartass comments day in and day out, and say them so others hear them and it does get a bit embarrassing. I attach one-three pics to all my messages to women. And women rarely will be the ones to send a guy a message first anyhow.
I am not trying to hide myself from a non existent wife here. I think too many people think the wrong thing each time for when most have a valid reason to not post thier pics on the site.
there are some people who just do not feel comfortable as they may not like it that they get some rude remarks about the pics. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/29/2006 11:16:38 AM | You don't have to have a profile set up on here to check it out; If they were supspicous of them they might check all the sites after all it's free to browse -get it now?
Sounds like your co-workers are a bunch of jeuvanile dicks if they have nothing better to do than razz you. As far as the embarassing part is concerned if you thought that you might get embarrassed maybe your too sensitive and ask mommy for her advice about dating. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/29/2006 11:58:39 AM | You can have a pic on here that's not shown on your profile. (Mine is that way.) That way, if you write someone and want to share it, you can include it in the message. Otherwise, you have your privacy.
I met my "fish" on here and neither of us had a pic in our profile. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/29/2006 12:19:22 PM | Adam,
You make it sound like being sensitive and talking to our mother's is a bad thing lol
I guess getting "razzed" for harmless stuff is why people don't talk about doing it themselves. You never talk to your parents about anything?
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/29/2006 12:31:50 PM | I think that people who say they are not that worried about how someone else looks, also don't seem to care about how they themselves look.
I haven't been here too long and I did not have my pic up at first and very quickly learned it's only natural people are going to want to see what you look like, since I also want to.
I like the ones that tell you (I had one today) that they have a very important profession and they cannot disclose who they are online and so you should contact them on MSN to see their pics.
Yeah I can tell you what their very important profession is: SALES. that is the oldest trick in the book, the old.. "we can't tell you what you have won but let us come over to your house and do a small presentation and we will show you once we are there" Not only are you not impressed by the product once you see it, you can't get them out of your home until you sign the dotted line.
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/29/2006 1:10:16 PM | You know; I often have more respect for NO photos then for those who post only themselves at that ONE blacktie event they have ever attended or that ONE pic that shows them looking pretty.
Photos...are a great way to bias your ad or lie about who you are, on average.
At least the tittie girls are showing you something that gets to the ROOT truth of who they are.
With that being said; I have messaged and WILL message people whos' ad and descriptions sound appealing and leave them as a real prospect...photo or not.
If you're going to put a photo u,; use a good one; because people WILL judge that they have your whole character figured out.....by a pic.
It sure makes communication a lot nicer to know who you are responding to...know what I mean?
Well thought out ads, and good converation help you to know who you are talking to...no? The way someone looks is NOT the sole identifier of who they are...is it?
Or are you one of these girls that thinks "if it looks like a sheep"....and then comes on to cry about the boy who used you and treated you like poo?
IN total though; I do also enjoy seeing a pic sometime before we meet or allow conversation to get too deep. (So; I'm much like you that way)
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/30/2006 3:32:14 AM | no photo because:
-They aren't dating
- they don't feel like posting one
- they don't want you to see them
Everyone has a reason that's important to them
Just ask nicely if its important to you | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/30/2006 4:45:36 AM | | No I wasn't implying that talking to our mothers is a bad thing and yes I talk to mine about some things just not everything. In my case my mum wouldn't even know how to turn on a computer so for me to explain POF or any kind of site like that I doubt she would truly understand the essence of the whole thing. My co-worker is on this site and we are mature enough not to have resort to "razzing" I can see if we were in high school or something. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/30/2006 9:52:59 AM | Xavi, What makes you the judge on what is lame and not lame. I for one don't have my picture posted and have no problem getting dates. I send an email with a picture attached, to those with pictures posted and also those without.
There are valid reasons for not having a picture posted. How about an undercover policeman that would jepodize his/her career if they posted a picture, would you judge them?, are they not allowed to date? or look for someone on here? How about a teacher?, there are people that judge people all the time, and that might be a reason to question a person's credibility based on the fact they are on a dating site, the list could go on.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and if you feel more superior because you have a picture posted, good for you, just don't blast others that have their reasons for not posting a picture. Not everyone is dishonest and hiding something. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/30/2006 12:07:48 PM | | someone just needs to grow up a little, Never. Ya know? Its like reasoning with a teenager that thinks they know everything and everyone else is stupid. Hate that. | |
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| What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/30/2006 1:40:49 PM | With the amount of lambasting people get over their choice of pictures...i'm surprised anyone puts them up at all!! | |
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