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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?      Home login  
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 getanet
Joined: 6/10/2011
Msg: 100
Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I have to agree: damned if you do, damned if you don't.
3 dates is not exactly an eternity to know someone. (and the supposed "rules" of dating and intimacy are retarded, so not going there...)

Maybe he thought you were really easy after date #2 and hours of making out and wondered how many guys were told to "F#ck or get off the can" before him?
 cutenperky2
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 101
Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 11/26/2011 5:33:51 PM
If I guy likes you he will initiate seeing you . If I guy likes you he will usually initiate something physical unless he picks up a vibe you just want to be friends. You clearly like this guy more that he likes you . Why put yourself through this. Find someone who makes you feel good about yourself this guy does not. He obviously is getting off on the fact that you are hitting on him and asking to see him. I would guess and this is just a guess that he may like you as a friend only.My experience with guys is that they are very touchy feely afectionate flirty if they like you and its really obvious they are interested, You can also tell if a guy likes you by his body laungage when you move closer to him or touch him . If you start touching a guy who is turned on to you on his arm ... leg sometimes almost anywhere .. sometimes you can see that he is getting a hard on. Hope this helps you..
 mdgs
Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 102
Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 11/27/2011 8:09:59 PM

Usually men who behave like him
do it for a reason, so
when he hits and runs
he'll say it was YOU
who initiated it and wanted it
therefore you can't blame him

He is not really attracted to you
but he won't say no
to an easy........

Oh and ANYBODY can say
they are so skilled at dating
You can see examples of that here
the self proclaimed "players" giving all kinds of advise
because they "know" how to get women
Then you see them posting here
at all hours of day and night,
So not so busy with the ladies after all ;-)


Yep. I couldn't agree more.
These are the kinds that are also lousy lovers but think they are all that.
 popcultureloverguy88
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 103
Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/9/2011 6:24:42 PM
and why does the guy have to initiate literally everything? why is that part of being a "Man"?
 Infinitytimes3
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 104
Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/9/2011 9:55:05 PM
oh gf i so hear u!
going thru the exact same thing not once but now twice with same guy. im not the go get it girl myself and am extremely frustrated with the mixed signals. if it wasnt for the little bits of hope i get thrown i would have been gone weeks ago.

yes i know you prob all think im desperate as this lady is...nope it not for a lack of thinking that maybe he just needs a little push to get over whatever it is holding him back. i guess i just have given him more credit than he deserves and hope i could turn him around.

Well hes going to get his second push tomorrow but unfortuneatly this fishie wont be staying around any longer. Its not for his lack of being able to hold a LT relationship he did so 3 years ago. Lots of happy pics and times.

its like a bad rerun of is he or isnt he that into me.... i know i deserve more and im going to again try and find it and get my sense of respect back that i feel he has dimished with this behaviour.. and yes i let it.

so my advice ... sit down and talk to him about how your feeling face to face, tell him how you find his "behaviour" and it needs to change. I did that at the end of the first attempt and start of the 2nd "attempt" and here i sit... well the closing ceremony will be tomorrow. i just hope your man lets his ego go and does make the change mine didnt.
 SeaCatcher
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 105
Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/9/2011 11:38:30 PM
He sound inept. I wouldn't bother with him. Move on.
 moutainbreeze
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 106
Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/10/2011 12:31:57 AM
He has you on a stringer. That you are seeking his attention is what fuels him. I dated a guy that was EXACTLY like this. He had to talk to him MOM about our dating relationship. He texted me all day long then became emotionally and conversationally challenged whenever we were together. The texting got on my nerves more than anything else. It was like he needed someone to send messages to because it made him feel less like he had no friends; but when I tried to call him he was the same way, always busy and didn't want to talk. Kick this guy to the curb, he is a man-child. RUN!
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 108
Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/10/2011 10:14:35 AM
you both are not compatible. It's lop sided, that's not how it goes. Sounds like games.
 CharityTrue
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 109
Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/10/2011 11:36:07 AM

MsLexus - I am handing you your novice "man card" because you have just experienced what 99% of men go through when they get a date from a woman. Welcome to the sweet life on the other side!

Now -- as a new member, you probably have a lot of questions and wonder what you're supposed to do next, right? You're supposed to be PERSISTENT - the next time you kiss him, you have to go for the junk to see if he's responding. Is that crass? Sure...but how else are you gonna know if you're doing the right thing or just boring him to death?

Really -- you TRIED talking to him, you tried WAITING for him to hint that he wanted to make out, you even spent time TEXTING with him every day so he could "know you better" and feel safe. What gives? The ANSWER is that you will NEVER find an answer by talking to him - you have to PRESS THE SEX to score.

WTF? Isn't that arrogant? Isn't that rude? Well - he's still talking/texting you after you body slammed him against a door and stuck your tongue down his throat, so chances are he's not mad at you -- PRESS YOUR GAME while you're still in contact!

Not so easy, eh? Well....sorry, but the whole routine is kind of a guessing game. It's always easier to just give up and go away. Of course, we will ask you to cut up and discard your "man card".....

Yes, "men" have "all the power".

Wow, powerful insight....
Actually brought a little tear to my eye... I feel bad, guilty now.
Have I done that to someone? don't think so... awful...
 KoolHand
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 110
Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/10/2011 1:36:20 PM
Because he's a little man.. ;) if you know what I mean..
 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 111
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Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/14/2011 5:00:53 PM
you have some of the best posts bro! The only problem I think is that this guy knows he can get her whenever he wants since she is always initiating. What if she tries to go further and still gets shut down. I've done it women before just because I wanted her to WANT what I have to offer. It gave me more control and she was never able to "use sex (or the lack there of) against me" this is very psychological.
 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 112
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Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/14/2011 5:03:13 PM

MsLexus - I am handing you your novice "man card" because you have just experienced what 99% of men go through when they get a date from a woman. Welcome to the sweet life on the other side!

Now -- as a new member, you probably have a lot of questions and wonder what you're supposed to do next, right? You're supposed to be PERSISTENT - the next time you kiss him, you have to go for the junk to see if he's responding. Is that crass? Sure...but how else are you gonna know if you're doing the right thing or just boring him to death?

Really -- you TRIED talking to him, you tried WAITING for him to hint that he wanted to make out, you even spent time TEXTING with him every day so he could "know you better" and feel safe. What gives? The ANSWER is that you will NEVER find an answer by talking to him - you have to PRESS THE SEX to score.

WTF? Isn't that arrogant? Isn't that rude? Well - he's still talking/texting you after you body slammed him against a door and stuck your tongue down his throat, so chances are he's not mad at you -- PRESS YOUR GAME while you're still in contact!

Not so easy, eh? Well....sorry, but the whole routine is kind of a guessing game. It's always easier to just give up and go away. Of course, we will ask you to cut up and discard your "man card".....

Yes, "men" have "all the power".
you have some of the best posts bro! The only problem I think is that this guy knows he can get her whenever he wants since she is always initiating. What if she tries to go further and still gets shut down. I've done it women before just because I wanted her to WANT what I have to offer. It gave me more control and she was never able to "use sex (or the lack there of) against me" this is very psychological.
 DLI5831
Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 113
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Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/14/2011 5:17:18 PM
how many dates before kissing and sexing? How can you measure?
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 114
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Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/14/2011 5:43:01 PM
I asked my friend..he said that he was taught not to "go after" women as this could lead to trouble. If the girl initiates it, then he knows that he didn't get the signals crossed. He likes to play it safe.
If you don't mind initiating, go for it. If you do, you might have to allow him to time to trust you. He might not even know that you are having an issue with this. Tell him. He may just start initiating.
 beenambedie
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 115
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Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/14/2011 6:51:27 PM
I have a friend of mine who is gay.

he was married before (to a woman- lol) and even has a child, whom he has full custody of.

Then he is NOT gay.
 Agallah005
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 116
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Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/17/2011 10:41:35 AM
maybe he's married or something.
 BEACHBUM611
Joined: 12/12/2011
Msg: 117
Why doesn't he initiate dates or physical contact?
Posted: 12/18/2011 7:17:44 AM
I met a woman like that. Behind the texting she would talk a huge game but in person, she never even brought up the things she mentioned in the texts. That guy is a not the kind of guy you need. You need a guy that's gonna show you how beautiful you are and treat you like a woman needs to be treated . He needs to be at least a little aggressive and take charge on some things, make some first moves and so fourth. Good luck.
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