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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that ma      Home login  
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 1234happy
Joined: 8/26/2010
Msg: 301
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to haPage 13 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

If you're going to be a douche than be a douche, but stop trying to justify it as if WE'RE delusional.

Maybe being a douche isn’t his fault? It could be genetic; like cheating.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 302
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History
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/6/2011 5:20:26 PM

Because i have been in this situation before all though it wasn't a marriage but that makes no difference anyway.

The fact you kicked you woman to the curb while she was undergoing chemo
speaks for itself. The only thing it qualifies you for is jerk of the year.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 303
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/6/2011 9:27:55 PM
^^^^ you do know that your stated religion in your profile and your opinion in this thread contradict each other right? which leads me to believe you and a couple others are just trolling.
 Michaelann
Joined: 9/11/2004
Msg: 304
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/6/2011 10:03:54 PM

This site below has 5 positions for arthitis at that only took me 10 seconds to find

What does arthitis have to do with this topic?, your not seriously trying to compare arthitis with a life changing disease like MS, are you? - TDH49

I think the point that Apollodorus was trying to make TDH49, is that with a bit of creativity & imagination, it may be possible to find a position that would work for nearly any disability.

And if you believe that arthritis isn't life altering, I sure hope you never get it. My aunt is in her late 70's, she has had both her knees & both of her hips replaced, twice. And she is STILL in a wheelchair!

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia & CFS (chronic fatigue) about 15 years ago. I was diagnosed with arthritis, 32 years ago. Some days I can't get dressed, or even open my fridge door, without help.
Many people with arthritis end up in wheelchairs, or end up needing joint replacements.
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If I truly loved him and everything else was right between us then no I would not end the marriage.Sex may be important but being with someone who you truly,completely and fully love as much as they love you is more important to me. - Ray of moonlight

I agree with you,Ray of moonlight. It would suck, but I do know that if my fiance was disabled or injured in such a way that we could no longer have sex, I would stay with him.

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What about doing without sex for the rest of your life? Hey, it's love, remember?

If I wasn't pretty sure I could make that kind of committment, I wouldn't get married. I've been single my whole life and I can get sex. I couldn't find another fiancee like the one I have. - abelian

WOW, Abelian! I have to say that I am really impressed. Based upon your previous forums posts, this is probably the most surprising thing I have ever seen you write. Your fiance is a lucky woman, IMO.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 305
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 6:52:10 AM

I think the point that Apollodorus was trying to make TDH49, is that with a bit of creativity & imagination, it may be possible to find a position that would work for nearly any disability.


With MS it's not always about positions, a lot of times positions has nothing to do with the pain involved. Do some research on the topic.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 306
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Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 7:16:32 AM

is that with a bit of creativity & imagination, it may be possible to find a position that would work for nearly any disability.
~~~~~~~~~~
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia & CFS (chronic fatigue) about 15 years ago. I was diagnosed with arthritis, 32 years ago. Some days I can't get dressed, or even open my fridge door, without help.

So what positions would you suggest for the days you are feeling this way??
And.....would you think it's your "duty" to pleasure your S/O on the days you feel this way?

I think most of us are trying to say that even though there is probably some way
to have sex......why would any person that claims to love you expect you to
pleasure them (every day in Appollo's case) when it hurts to just breath on some days.
And, as we have mentioned many times, have sex when you're throwing your guts
up from chemo days on end.

Appollo......stating "Christian" or any other religion or belief has nothing to do
with compassion and empathy. I could be an Athiest and still have compassion for those I love.
 joebleaux
Joined: 12/26/2010
Msg: 307
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 7:30:48 AM
a quick google search will reveal that most american and western women quit having sex as soon as they have the kids they want. marriage is a one way ticket to loneliness and misery for a man in the west. women in america feel that "all sex is rape" and other such unbalanced crap, so there you go.

men need to know the truth about marriage, that they have no rights under the law, and that the women have no responsibilities. it is an unequal contract. if more men knew the truth about this, then no man would marry, except for perhaps the manginas like iceman, who seems to find slavery and submissiveness attractive.

men, divorce your worthless wives. your spouse's "disease" is all in her head. she's getting her sex other places. pay her off with a bit of alimony and child support if you have to, and then you'll have more and better sex with the whole army of twentysomething sluts who have been raised with single moms and sex and the city. they put out on a dime and expect nothing in return. do not marry them. do not let them move in. sex is free and there's always more around the corner.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 308
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 7:35:22 AM

a quick google search will reveal that most american and western women quit having sex as soon as they have the kids they want. marriage is a one way ticket to loneliness and misery for a man in the west. women in america feel that "all sex is rape" and other such unbalanced crap, so there you go.

men need to know the truth about marriage, that they have no rights under the law, and that the women have no responsibilities. it is an unequal contract. if more men knew the truth about this, then no man would marry, except for perhaps the manginas like iceman, who seems to find slavery and submissiveness attractive.

men, divorce your worthless wives. your spouse's "disease" is all in her head. she's getting her sex other places. pay her off with a bit of alimony and child support if you have to, and then you'll have more and better sex with the whole army of twentysomething sluts who have been raised with single moms and sex and the city. they put out on a dime and expect nothing in return. do not marry them. do not let them move in. sex is free and there's always more around the corner.


And the hits just keep on coming.
 phillo123
Joined: 3/15/2008
Msg: 309
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 7:47:37 AM
Think some of these women hating posts, while entertaining, are way off topic now....



 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 310
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 7:54:40 AM
I think the point that Apollodorus was trying to make TDH49, is that with a bit of creativity & imagination, it may be possible to find a position that would work for nearly any disability.


Yep exactly and it seems there is a ton of quitters in here just like my ex that aren't even willing to give a shot which is a shame.


Appollo......stating "Christian" or any other religion or belief has nothing to do
with compassion and empathy


well if you were true to your religion you would not have the opinion you have.
 MichelleRenee1234
Joined: 10/19/2009
Msg: 311
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 9:04:09 AM

Yep exactly and it seems there is a ton of quitters in here just like my ex that aren't even willing to give a shot which is a shame.


Please. maybe she didn't feel the need to pleasure her arrogant narcissist boyfriend after she realized that's all he wanted from her. Which is a shame.

I wish you would just leave unless you can respond to everything we've been asking you. YOUR the troll, I believe.


And the hits just keep on coming.


He's not even worth responding to, IMO. Don't feed the troll and maybe he'll go away...?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 312
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Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 9:17:22 AM

well if you were true to your religion you would not have the opinion you have.

show me where I have ever stated I'm "true to my religion".
Just because I "believe"....doesn't mean I walk the path every day of my life!
I'll let God judge me in the end.

and please show me where in the Bible it says I must pleasure my husband
every day no matter what!!
If you want......I can show you many scriptures that state one should have compassion
for their fellow man!!
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 313
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 9:34:40 AM
Anyone can google sh*t. I'm looking for them to actually write something that shows they KNOW what they are talking about.

I know if I were in that situation, I'd have books and articles and stuff from our doctors and would be able to reference that in this thread. As someone who deals with a chronic condition AND has dated men with conditions, the first thing I do is start researching their condition. I'm curious and I want to be informed. Not one man I was in a relationship with EVER researched what I was dealing with.


Appollo......stating "Christian" or any other religion or belief has nothing to do
with compassion and empathy. I could be an Athiest and still have compassion for those I love.


Indeed.

Gotta love these folks who think they are experts on religion and morality. Puke!



men, divorce your worthless wives. your spouse's "disease" is all in her head. she's getting her sex other places. pay her off with a bit of alimony and child support if you have to, and then you'll have more and better sex with the whole army of twentysomething sluts who have been raised with single moms and sex and the city. they put out on a dime and expect nothing in return. do not marry them. do not let them move in. sex is free and there's always more around the corner.


Why are you looking for dating/a relationship then? Do you really think you are ready for that? You sound kinda bitter.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 314
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Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 9:36:47 AM

And the hits just keep on coming


are you sorry you even asked?

 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 315
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 9:50:21 AM
a quick google search will reveal that most american and western women quit having sex as soon as they have the kids they want. marriage is a one way ticket to loneliness and misery for a man in the west. women in america feel that "all sex is rape" and other such unbalanced crap, so there you go.

I've had a couple of girlfriends (and even lived with one) who were psychologically challenged, but I know a lot of women who are sane. Saying that most american women are _____________ is no different than saying most american men are ____________, unless by most, you mean mean most that you meet. If that's your experience, it's your picker that needs a tune up.

men need to know the truth about marriage, that they have no rights under the law, and that the women have no responsibilities. it is an unequal contract. if more men knew the truth about this, then no man would marry, except for perhaps the manginas like iceman, who seems to find slavery and submissiveness attractive.

Well, I had no intention of getting married and I made it to age 47 without doing it, so I really don't think I'm getting married now because I find slavery and submissiveness attractive. It's because finding someone who would put up with me was no easy task.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 316
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 9:55:23 AM
joebleaux, hold on there hoss,what does post have to do with how they make moon shine in Mississippi? or is Arkansas? anyways

A quick google search will reveal 1 out of 1000 people claims they saw Big foot in 2010, so im not sure what your point is ...
Mah daddy done told me everyone deserves happiness and all the fried chicken you can eat too
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 317
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History
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 9:58:25 AM

a quick google search will reveal that most american and western women quit having sex as soon as they have the kids they want. marriage is a one way ticket to loneliness and misery for a man in the west. women in america feel that "all sex is rape" and other such unbalanced crap, so there you go.

Why are you on a dating site, bragging in your profile that you make a "good salary"and claiming that you're looking for a woman to settle down with?

I don't get it - if western women are such soul-sucking she devils, why in God's NAME are you here seeking to date American women?

My head's ready to explode.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 318
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:07:41 AM
joebleaux ...

Your flexible???

Not with a post like that your not!

WOW ... who bit your winkie?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 319
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History
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:08:19 AM

I'm looking for them to actually write something that shows they KNOW what they are talking about.

Well, don't hold your breath. They are taking their ONE experience and applying it to all women. And don't you get t? They're here to play "get the nooky and run",not date or be in a relationship. It's a starving weiner festival. If they REALLY only wanted to find a warm hole to stick their d*ck in, they wouldn't bother with the online scene, they'd just go out and boink all these 20something sluts that are so easy to find ,feel, f*ck and forget. Their posts are pretty much posturing and bluster.
Wanna borrow my cell phone to call someone who cares?
On topic, some medical conditions like MS, fibro, CFS, rheumatoid arthritis, can involve sudden muscle spasms or unexpected bursts of pain amplification. Many people who have mild or slowly progressing forms of these illness DO have good days when sex is do-able(lol),but quite often MS just gets progressively worse, or if it's the "relapsing/remitting" type, the patient loses function with each relapse, that is never regained during a "remission".
Cindy O
 Michaelann
Joined: 9/11/2004
Msg: 320
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:58:58 AM

With MS it's not always about positions, a lot of times positions has nothing to do with the pain involved. Do some research on the topic. - TDH49

I was not aware of that, TDH49. Thank you for the correction. I was responding to this quote, in your original post:

But as the disease progressed it got to be painful for her to have sex. They tried switching meds, talked about it with their doctors, but nothing seem to work, sex had become too painful for her, so about 18 months into her illness they stopped having sexual intercourse.

Which does not mention experimenting with other positions. And I know from my own experience that some people are simply not open to trying new things (ie: positions). I should know better by now, than to make assumptions though.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So what positions would you suggest for the days you are feeling this way??
And.....would you think it's your "duty" to pleasure your S/O on the days you feel this way? - MsMicki

I'd rather not be graphic in depicting other positions in a public forum, MsMicki. And while I might not use the term "duty", I try & make love to my fiance at least once a day, when we are together (we are currently in a LDR), because I love him & his needs are important to me. I've also found that the love & closeness, actually makes my pain less (endorphins, probably).

When I was first diagnosed with arthritis, my rehab therapist loaned me a wonderful book on sex & disabilities. It had hundreds of ideas, for almost any type of physical disability (he was in a wheelchair, was in terrific shape & had a family, post-paralysis). I wish I could find another copy of that book. I found it very helpful.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I know if I were in that situation, I'd have books and articles and stuff from our doctors and would be able to reference that in this thread. As someone who deals with a chronic condition AND has dated men with conditions, the first thing I do is start researching their condition. I'm curious and I want to be informed. Not one man I was in a relationship with EVER researched what I was dealing with. - happybunny8

Funny how that works isn't it, happybunny8
My fiance is only the 2nd man I've ever known who has done that, although in his case, he already knew much of the research, as he also has CFS & fibromyalgia.
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I've had a couple of girlfriends (and even lived with one) who were psychologically challenged, but I know a lot of women who are sane. Saying that most american women are _____________ is no different than saying most american men are ____________, unless by most, you mean mean most that you meet. If that's your experience, it's your picker that needs a tune up. - abelian

I would definitely have to concur with that assessment, abelian. If he keeps attracting the wrong type of women, he ought to consider what he is doing to keep attracting them & change it, to attract the kind he really wants.
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giving without expecting something in return is perhaps one definition of love? - Fifi47

I whole-heartedly agree, Fifi47
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Yep I know I thing or 2 about pain because of the fact i am in a wheelchair. I do not expect someone to wait on me hand and foot, I do expect to pull my weight in providing for my partners needs no matter and I do not use my disability as an excuse for anything whatsoever and I live to the maximum I can. I am aware that there are compromises because of my disability that things have to be done a little differently and that is cool but it is not fair for me to say I am disabled so the answer is no I can't do this. It is my obligation to make it work and work with my partner to make things work instead of just giving up. - Apollodorus


I believe Appollo is a stubborn man, and, like me, has appreciation for those who tackle adversity with grace and perseverance. We don't give up. Tell me why we should appreciate those who do? - FyrKrakn

I think that in our society/culture (I would include Canada & the US in this assessment), we do tend to take the easy way out & give up too easily. We live in a society that tells us to expect instant gratification (credit buying, for example). Perserverance & loyalty, are important qualities in a LTR or marriage, if it has any hope of being successful.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 321
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Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 2:14:43 PM
If you are able to have sex and enjoy it......then you are not experiencing the same kind of debilitating pain that someone with MS has.

I broke a hip once.....and I guarantee you if someone had tried to convince me
I was "able" to have sex.....I'd probabably have shot them on the spot!!
 MichelleRenee1234
Joined: 10/19/2009
Msg: 322
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/7/2011 3:18:38 PM

broke a hip once.....and I guarantee you if someone had tried to convince me
I was "able" to have sex.....I'd probabably have shot them on the spot!!


Seriously! I've never even been debilitated through any serious injuries. But I've gotten a bad cold or flu in the past where I felt so awful I didn't even want to open my eyes. That's nothing close, I'm sure, to the kind of chronic pain others may suffer from, and even then I'd kick to the curb any ass who thought I was "neglecting" or "abusing" him for not servicing him during that time.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 323
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/8/2011 12:31:47 AM

Mah daddy done told me everyone deserves happiness and all the fried chicken you can eat too


There it is again - food references. I'm hungry now.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 324
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/8/2011 6:44:23 AM

joebleaux ...

Your flexible???

Not with a post like that your not!

WOW ... who bit your winkie?


Please don't feed the troll.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 325
Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to ha
Posted: 1/8/2011 7:26:11 AM


(The extremely witty Arlo, pointing out a fatal flaw in Alliss' argument) *shrug* Since he prefaced his argument with, "Never get married", your response is, well, non-sensical.


(Alliss) Gee arlo, seems you misconstrue what you read often.

Since he said,
“There are always ten others who would be glad to have sex with you, if your wife doesn't want to.”

Get it? He was referring to a WIFE.


What... evah. He also said "never get married", so why weren't you jumping all over him for that logical inconsistency, instead of blithely ignoring it and just *ASSUMING* he meant what you wanted to argue against? Hey? Answer me THAT, Smarty-Pants!


Reading comprehension is not your strong suit.


I don't have pig-tails, so you can't dunk 'em in your inkwell. So sorry!


We know he said not to marry; butt he referred to wives specifically.


*shrug* I don't believe that you did realize that he said "never marry", until you were called on your sloppy, uh, "logic".

Arlo...
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Would you end your marriage because your spouse has a disease that made it too painful for her to have sex??