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 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 701
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-he doesnt trust the psychologist either, he says he must be after his money, because sure these sessions cost a real high amount during the 5 years....so he stopped seeing the professional help...
-his mother was emotionally cold. she told him openly that she married his father for money and social position. she never had to work and could have a high maintenance lifestyle.
-he is dead afraid to fall in the same trap.
-no he is not willing to give money away to charity, believes that 99% of charity money is "stolen", not used to the purpose they are given...he does not trust any charity either
-he set up a charity himself, to avoid taxes, a complete scam scheme (with about 10% of donations really go for the purpose), so no wonder he also does not trust others....
-he is doing business all the time, even sunday when we relax in a swimming pool...
-he cannot relax fuly, doesnt trust easily (family, charities, hi ex-psychologits...and neither trusts women)
-we are friends since school, we used to be closer 10-20 years ago.
-he speaks during night, have nightmares and sweating. he slept at my place, we spent a lot of time together, different things in the world including his issues and my issues too
-he is on internet dating, not on this site, and making tests.
he says when he contacts a woman, who replies, than later send her false messages, pretending to be someone else, "testing the woman if she tells the same things?"
-he is more "professional" about online dating too....his techniques work well to score into sleeping for hundreds of women...

his life is pretty much about making plans, figuring out some tests, and not trusting anything or anyone....


He sounds like he'll be single forever - who the heck would want to deal with all those issues around lack of trust and being 'tested' all the time? I know I wouldn't. Pretty much, he's setting himself up to fail over and over and over...
 Alpha78
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 702
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/20/2011 5:31:06 PM

he has slept with hundreds of women (much more than me, the lucky **stard
....)
-he has been attending a psychologist, who told him that they eed to work together for minimum 5 years to achieve some results
-he doesnt trust the psychologist either, he says he must be after his money, because sure these sessions cost a real high amount during the 5 years....so he stopped seeing the professional help...
-his mother was emotionally cold. she told him openly that she married his father for money and social position. she never had to work and could have a high maintenance lifestyle.
-he is dead afraid to fall in the same trap.
-no he is not willing to give money away to charity, believes that 99% of charity money is "stolen", not used to the purpose they are given...he does not trust any charity either
-he set up a charity himself, to avoid taxes, a complete scam scheme (with about 10% of donations really go for the purpose), so no wonder he also does not trust others....
-he is doing business all the time, even sunday when we relax in a swimming pool...
-he cannot relax fuly, doesnt trust easily (family, charities, hi ex-psychologits...and neither trusts women)
-we are friends since school, we used to be closer 10-20 years ago.
-he speaks during night, have nightmares and sweating. he slept at my place, we spent a lot of time together, different things in the world including his issues and my issues too
-he is on internet dating, not on this site, and making tests.
he says when he contacts a woman, who replies, than later send her false messages, pretending to be someone else, "testing the woman if she tells the same things?"
-he is more "professional" about online dating too....his techniques work well to score into sleeping for hundreds of women...

his life is pretty much about making plans, figuring out some tests, and not trusting anything or anyone....

I feel it is sad, because this way he always ends up disappointed, testing omeone util finally he can conclude that "the other person failed"

I agree it gets pathological, and if his psychologists recommended minimum 5ears of sessions, than it must be serious...

how things stand, I believe his issues are likely to develop into alcohol issues,
he used to be always proud of his wine collection, and now got into an alcohol producing business as well.

he isn unhappy because of women, disappointed, angry for how things are, chances are he is more likely to get drunk more often...

a turning point maybe could be to find a woman who would help him to sort out of this....

he would like to get married, have his family, his family name to continue, but has a hard time to find a woman he can trust.
he can find Quantity, but not the Quality....
I guess that quality women, after a promising start, freak out from him.

he is great in the "promising start",
he on 2 ocassions took my ex-girlfriends to test them...

one of them I speak after, and she said she will never speak to anyone who is a friend of my friend...so I am guessing she was really hurt

the other one still believes he could have been a great catch, but perhaps it is because they never get into the "rock water" test stage


And what makes you think that some poor, unemployed fella cannot have ALL these issues and possibly more??
I think this whole thing is more like a primal instinct; knowing as a woman that a man will be capable of taking care of her and the children if that situation should arise (tough pregnancy or sick child).
Marrying just for money is not the way to go but it's kinda hard to love a brotha while he is trying to sell you some food stamps for gas money.
 Euroalex
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 703
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/20/2011 5:33:37 PM


back in 98 i met this wonderful lady yes on the internet ,
yes i was in australia & she was in the USA


wow, so long ago, outbackaussie52, you were one of the pioneers of internet dating than!
 Euroalex
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 704
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/20/2011 5:51:04 PM


He sounds like he'll be single forever - who the heck would want to deal with all those issues around lack of trust and being 'tested' all the time? I know I wouldn't. Pretty much, he's setting himself up to fail over and over and over...


I think he wont be single forever.

he might for example rent a woman for woman just to give birth a son, and get lost after.

or make a contract just like a business contract....how much sex he gets...how much socialrepresentation she has to do...how much free they are sexually etc.

he said he is thinking about figuring out some "ideal contract" where his needs are most met, and he is willing to give in things to be mutually advantegous.

he hasnt given up on finding true Love yet....

about the topic of this thread, trust is definitelly an essential part in a relationship:

what happenned in the society, in the old times when people lived in a fixed place,
same village, same little community where everyone knew each other,
it was not such a big problem than these days...
you couldnt run away with someones money, as property was fixed (land usually),
the local communities puihed you if you did something wrong...
and divorce was not possible either.
so, if you were married, your future was "linked" to the other person.

sure, it happenned, that a woman for example poisoned the man etc.
so when he died, she became free...
but than, the people were religious, were God fearing...

so, these days I think judgement in whom you can trust, and to what level, is critical, more important than it was ever before!
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 705
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/20/2011 5:55:55 PM
Actually that type of "contract" is what marriage used to be and still is for most cultures

So its not as "out there" as youre making it sound

Asian culture is a very good example where each partner has very clearly defined roles in a marriage that they are brought up to respect and adhere to in adult life

And their marriages although in some ways being very "businesslike" to us do infact function very well and have a very low rate of divorce. And yet despite what many would expect they are very often far happier, functional and healthier relationships than the majority of "love" marriages I have seen people have and are far less contentious and acrimonious in nature
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 706
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/20/2011 6:18:13 PM
I actually know a young lady in her early twenties who passed the money test,setup by the man's parents.She is young,good looking and university educated,the young man is high school educated,he works as a set carpenter in the film making industry in Van.

When she met the parents,it was in a rather small,older home,they quizzed her about whether she thought their son could keep her happy,what kind of a home she expected,etc.She said they could work at it,they didn't need anything fancy to start with.

Shortly before the marriage date,they revealed the truth...the parents lived in a multi-million dollar home,and owned the company at which the son worked.They are loaded...
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 707
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/20/2011 6:34:45 PM
A couple of observations about win1's dysfunctional wealthy CEO friend...

If your friend does not have some solid experience and knowledge in true "back-country"/wilderness survival camping, and he is taking women even less knowledgeable out into wilderness situations in this or any other country, IMO he is exhibiting a DANGEROUS level of irresponsible behavior.
It makes me think that we are much more apt to get media reports of his and his companions' deaths in some remote area, than we are to ever see an announcement about his wedding.
Believe me, backcountry/wilderness camping, especially on foreign soil is indeed very dangerous if you don't know what you are doing-look at those kids who were hiking and got jailed for "spying". Even people who DO have a reasonable level of skill can get their asses into a serious sling-I'm sure we all remember the young hiker who had to amputate his own arm, don't we?
However this is just commentary to support my concern-that win1 agrees with!-about his friends' mental health. I think that he's not striking out with women because women are all "gold-diggers" he's striking out because he is an unmitigated, head-f*cked FOOL.
I mean, I do GET that many single people do have benchmarks, tests,etc and this is somewhat understandable. But when those tests are foolish or dangerous, I thank the Lord that people are backing away from the test-giver before something very bad or even tragic happens.

As to the poster whose friend is playing "well, a woman played ME for my money, so I'm entitled to play women for money", I think this is one of the big problems with the dating scene for those who are old enough to have been through a seriously negative marriage or relationship experience-there are a lot of people, regardless of gender, who seem to be interested in dating and relationships not for the good and positive factors of those activities, but for some sort of vengeance or "settling a score" with the gender that "wronged" him or her. It is my observation that there may well be a lot more "dating for vengeance" going on out there than one would think!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with anyone having a requirement, at minimum, that their prospective partner have a reasonably stable financial and employment position. If this is a male person looking for a female person and the wish for a family is in the picture-then I don't think it is at all unreasonable for a female to want a partner who can at least keep a roof over the family's head and food on the table should the pregnancy and/or child care situation take the woman out of the workforce for awhile.

Again, the article that the OT cited was a woman researcher who seems to be AGAINST equal educational/ecomomic opportunity. Using information from a certain segment of the population( young, having more than a basic education, and interested in marriage) she twisted this segments' tendency for women to marry men with more EDUCATION into "women are marrying men for their money". When what the REAL data was, is that,among a certain group of men and women, women seem to be choosing men with a higher amount of collegiate-type education.
Why this particular female researcher seems dedicated to attacking equal educational and economic opportunity for women, I wouldn't dare to speculate. But she took what MAY be a fact for a certain sector of adult human beings, and made a leap from higher education to higher income.
I suspect, with the times being what they are, that most of us here know of at least one situation where a more highly-educated person is drawing an unemployment-insurance benefit, while a person of a lower educational level is able to maintain a fairly steady employment record.
As far as I'm concerned, the researcher referenced in the OT took some information about educational levels and marriage, and made a pretty big leap to make it sound as if women are marrying men STRICTLY for money in epidemic proportions-all so she can support her disagreement with gender equality.
Cindy O
 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 708
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 8:27:40 AM
Marriage is a partnership, not a business. In my business I expect my partners to make money for themselves, contribute to overhead and share the profits. My marriage is different. It is not a money making venture. It’s a quality of life venture.

OT: I don’t believe that more women are marrying for money. But so what if it’s true? The parties motivation for marrying is their own business. As long as both people go into the partnership with their eyes open everything else is moot.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 709
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 8:56:08 AM

I don’t believe that more women are marrying for money. But so what if it’s true? The parties motivation for marrying is their own business. As long as both people go into the partnership with their eyes open everything else is moot.


They are, in point of fact. But the rest of your phrase is also true. If both of 'em are okay with that, all go. 2 adults can decide what they want.
But the problem with it is, its not limited to women, and its more and more common place. I think it shows how much the definition of Right and Wrong, the perceptions of people on what is good, what is "Healthy" and what is not, has changed. I read somewhere that the "family unit" (mother, dad, son and daughter) is no longer the unit society is basing itself on, partially because of this type of behavior for EVERYONE. Am I the only one that thinks it's sad? LIl families you see in the park playing together will soon become the exception, not the rule....
It kinda sucks for us everyday bloke guys who'll never win more than 50000 a year to be judged for how much we make, and our social standing. Feels like Paris circa 1690 all over again...lol
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 710
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 9:24:08 AM
Oh gawdddd how I have tried to stay out of this thread. sheesh I can just say that the Evil in me made me get on the bandwagon.

First on POF there is NO gold in them there hills/pockets. Some men on here might have the odd silver coin floating around but mostly we would be digging for copper/pennies. Luck if we find any. Hahaha

Now as for me, well I have found that there seems to be an abundance of men who are trying to replace the home, the lifestyle the whatever they had before their wife """took them to the cleaners""" They are the real diggers. Gold or silver doesn't matter. They have to pay their child support and they are on the HUNT for a woman to replace their support income PLUS be at least 1/2's on everything. After all they are being the good dad right? What a trip they can lay on you.

I'm done that. My kids are grown and I lost allot too, like so many men complain about, during my divorce. Over 11 years I have supported my 4 kids. Put them through school, helped them with their businesses. So I am BUSTED. Can't do much more than step up for me. Yes I do mean UP DATE

And why wouldn't I? I am no gold digger believe me I have seen gold in them there hills but chose to pass to get MY business done. Now I am free. Go where I want, do what I want. I am still very attractive for my age, very fit, love to golf and entertain. I do all this and more on my meager pennies.

You think I am going to date some dude who is broke azz poor just to prove that I am not gold digger, hell no!!!

Never in my life have I heard such bull crap about money until I discovered the forums a way back in the day. These threads kill me.

Keep your cheap azz Denny's dinner if you think that because you might be STUCK paying for that gold digging woman. F_it. Here is the truth :::::: You have no money. Not is what is considered real money. You have no confidence if you think that a woman only wants you for your dough ra me.

The guy who thinks that is the one with the least of any personality I would be attracted to. A suffering delusional who is unable to be the man he is or made of himself. I like men who are proud of who and what they are. Proud of their accomplishments, personally and in business. Its the style of man. Its not the amount of money but lets face it. Your close to living under a bridge? Living week to week, well I am going to have to pass you by and risk being called a gold digger.

Looking for a man who is a success in his life is as normal as a man wanting a woman who is attractive and at least shaves her underarms. Simple chemistry 101. Attraction, Looks, Personality, Attitude, Life successes.

Anywhoo I'm an updater. Gold digger? Probably in your mind. Who cares anyway.

 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 711
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 9:49:32 AM

You think I am going to date some dude who is broke azz poor just to prove that I am not gold digger, hell no!!!

LMAO I hope I made my point

You are right tho, its part of a package. It just sucks its not like the fairytales. You know, the beautifull princess who falls in love with the Pauper? More and more in society its become "the prince hits up the teen cheerleaders and makes her preggo and she sues him"
 Euroalex
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 712
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 9:56:42 AM


Never in my life have I heard such bull crap about money until I discovered the forums a way back in the day.


which planet did you live?
sure people discuss it, in a "materialistic world", anything related to money are daily topic....
I enjoy these discussions, maybe because I am economist....


Proud of their accomplishments, personally and in business.


Dr. Phil (perhaps you know the book or the TV show?)
defines the authentic self.
authentic self has nothing to do with "accomplishments".
its not a CV.
somebody, who you are, without your credit card,
without all your belongings.
just yourself!

gold digger is a person (usually a woman) who is intereted in you if you are wealthy (financial position and disposable income), and not interested in you if you arent.
basically a gold digger is selling herself, as a prostitute,
just for longer term (not 1 hour but 1 year).
what the major difference is, a prostitute charges known tariffs, fees,
honest about how much are what kind of services,
but a gold digger just wants more, and tries to deceive the "target".

if gold diggers would be honest an up front how much they cost for a certain period,
there wouldnt be these threads!
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 713
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 10:03:22 AM
Finally a woman to admire!!! Savona gets it, others should get it. There is nothing wrong with it. A smart woman who makes her own way in the world and wants a mate that is her EQUAL or better, just makes sense, not anything to do woth GDing.

Some other things I wanted to comment on:

Because you meet a woman or a man, that's no reason to stick your brain in a jar!

Frankly I don't give a sh1t about how much you are in luuuvvvv! Love doesn't pay the bills, or feed you, or put a roof over your head.

While I am sorry about the aussie guy getting taken for a ride. I would question some things. Having met her a few times, asking her to marry you, you still have no long term knowledge of any person, even if you knew them for years.

When we meet people, even marry them, it takes years to know them and a considerable time to totally trust them. I wouldn't be turning over the checkbook of my business to anyone. It's my business, I run it, I understand it, I own it. For $1,000 a month or less(tax deductable) you could have an accountant keep the records. He11 I wouldn't trust him to write the checks and he would have a purely business relationship with me. He could balance the books, write the checks and email all to me or mail them to me where I will stop with a trucking business, and SIGN the checks!

When we meet people, we trust a little, they earn it, then we trust a little more and keep repeating the cycle. Good advice for women and men alike.

As for the other guy with the CEO buddy...there are no words! Taking women into the jungle for a test? WTF! Is this something he dreamed up watching too much Survivor?

He needs meds, he needs intense analysis, he should stop dating and fix himself. Gawd help the woman who actually makes it to the altar with this jerk. He may want a woman and a family, he is incapable of having either in his current mental state.

As for the guy why said this thought process is bad for the guy making 50K. That's not neccessarily true. A flaw I will admit to, pointed out by my canadian date(a very smart woman), is that I keep saying "all" when what I mean is some or many.

Now I can't speak to the veracity of the statements by women on that "would you marry for money" thread. But a good number mentioned that they would prefer an average guy. In my mind, there is somebody for everybody on POF. BUT just like buying a car(no pun intended just a point) you can't go into a Ferrari dealership with 10K and think you will leave with a Testarossa.

If a woman has a college education, a good job, likes to travel and can afford to do it. Is interested in the opera, art and has similar other life interests. She is not likely going to go with a guy who likes bowling, watching Gilligan Island reruns, drives a Yugo and his idea of traveling is the 20 mile trip to Walmart.

Occassionally opposites attract, random mismatches of taste will occur, lust for the short term will override ones normal mental choices.

This isn't meant as a put down, or an indictment of any person or the way they live. Just understand that somethings never were meant to be, no matter how much we want that.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 714
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 10:11:33 AM

if gold diggers would be honest an up front how much they cost for a certain period,
there wouldnt be these threads!


There also might not be these threads if men of any financial means didn't flash their cash and goods in a manner to attract those of a gold digging nature in order to to believe he's got the services of what amounts to a prostitute of a longer term than an hour. While there are honest men of financial means who get taken, there are also women who believe they're in the relationship (no matter their financial background) for well intentioned reasons - not to be what amounts to an on demand prostitute.
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 715
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 10:30:30 AM


There also might not be these threads if men of any financial means didn't flash their cash and goods in a manner to attract those of a gold digging nature in order to to believe he's got the services of what amounts to a prostitute of a longer term than an hour. While there are honest men of financial means who get taken, there are also women who believe they're in the relationship (no matter their financial background) for well intentioned reasons - not to be what amounts to an on demand prostitute.


Oh isn't that so true. But shushhhhh here is the little secret. They HAD those toys when married, now they have been liquidated and the proceeds split. After all she was working and so that makes the boat HALF hers. Hehehe

Or here is the other side of the coin, no house so have to live on the boat without fuel to go anywhere. I have had a few letters from men like that. OR they have toys owed to the hilt and need that extra cheque to pay bills. Met a few of them too. Oh yes men and their toys. Too bad so many can't afford them or HAD them and use that shiny lure to catch the woman. THEN call her a gold digger.

I would rather be an honest gold digger than a 2 bit lying azzhole in debt up to the ying yang.

Come on men. Lets see ONE man here say they only date women who make at least as much as they do, INCLUDING your child payment deduction. Its ok on here to admit that you loved that big old house you and your Ex shared and NEED that next income chick to get back to where you DESERVE to be.

Go ahead wave, we know you are out there. Wahooo there is ALWAYS two sides to everything.

So I say NO there are not MORE women marrying for money, probably been the same for eons, however there are ALLOT more men who are marrying for money. Now that is the truth. You little gold diggers you know who you are.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 716
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 10:35:28 AM

Come on men. Lets see ONE man here say they only date women who make at least as much as they do, INCLUDING your child payment deduction. Its ok on here to admit that you loved that big old house you and your Ex shared and NEED that next income chick to get back to where you DESERVE to be.



Actually, I always made more than the girls I dated, all the time. And back thenI could afford to take them everywhere, high paying restaurants and the likes. Then I made kids...now with the hefty child support I'm paying, SHE gets to go to restaurants while I wallow in my rat hole. Your answer's going to be I asked for it. Yup, I did, point taken. But I'm still the one gettin f*cked, heh?
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 717
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 10:50:43 AM
My gawd!!! Can't you people give up on this freakin gold digger bullsh1t? Some of you keep throwing this term around as though you THINK you understand it, but most don't have a freakin clue!

Maybe some of you have some preconceived notions of what this entails, but most of you are so far off as to be laughable. Perhaps(and I mean no offense to the ladies) some viable titles would be in order.

Gold diggers are those who date, attend and stay with wealthy individuals. They ca be either men or women. It may involve sex(usually) but not always. Usually they are very attractive, many times smart and well educated. They like to enjoy that lifestyle of the uber wealthy. Private jets, yachts, expensive sports cars, the best clothes, the best places.

Sometimes it's just being in and around that lifestyle. You know the exclusive parties, summering in the Hamptons or the south of France, skiing in all the exclsuive places, winters on private islands, meeting movie stars. Other times it's about trying to marry one, to continue that lifestyle. Still others want to acquire things, money, jewelry, expensive clothing, perhaps an allowance of money when their sponsor is unavailable.

The rest fall into the categories of sociopaths, con-men, users and losers.

Sociopaths will try and get even for some imagined or actual wrong that was committed against them. They will do whatever is neccessary to get to a person and take advantage based on some perceived slight, or event in their past.

Con-men or women, should be obvious, they want what ever they can get without working for it, by working your emotions, an elaborate scheme, or just pretending an unfortunate tragi incident in their lives. All with the intention of getting your money without working for it or having a legitimate job.

Users and losers are people who just never seem to be able to manage life. It's never their fault they lose their jobs, or don't have the money for the rent, utilities or food. Some event, has them always behind the eight ball, and they turn to the good hearted for help, rather than fix it themselves and take responsibility for their own situation.

POF probably has it's share of any of the last 3, but I truly doubt we have any honest to goodness GDers on here. There are few on this site, if any, who would qualify to give them that lifestyle.

Are there some inequalities in dating, for sure. But if your thinking that buying a woman dinner is gold digging, it's a function of your personality and not the actual cost of the dinner. Frankly if your mind runs to that everytime a date doesn't go as you want it to, and she doesn't want to see you again, maybe you should stop dating for a while and get help. There are no guarantees with dating, we meet people they like us or they do not.

But this incessant chatter about gold diggers is a crock of sh1t!

edit to add: "But I'm the one still gettin f*cked, heh?"

No, your the one paying for your kids. Why would anyone begrudge their kids anything? It goes with the territory. I'm sorry your marriage didn't work, most of us are in that boat, and all are sorry it didn't work out as we planned. Some of us paid alot more than you, some were lucky and it didn't hurt nearly as much. Some don't pay anything at all and worse they pay no attention to their kids.

All you can do is try and rebuild your life, be the best father you can be and live with the results of a broken relationship.
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 718
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 10:52:43 AM
^^^ Nope nobody asks to get screwed. My fellow Montreal poster. In Quebec it is a bit harsher than here I found when I moved. Women get screwed here all the time over money. And yep it hurts. So I didn't get involved for 11 years in a serious relationship because I had a lot of supporting of kids to do. I paid my time, my family is amazing, happy and mostly married now.

Capn again its not the amount of money, its the man.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 719
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 11:04:10 AM
LOL Savona, that`s funny, because I was told the EXACT opposite. My ex and me had to settle in court (actually she dragged my ass to it even tho I had already said I would pay, but lil did I know she wanted to terminate my existence). I got to have the best seperation lawyer in the city, possibly in North America (dunno the guys name lol) who told me if I wanted to keep custody of my kid in Quebec against a woman who doesnt drink, doesnt smoke, doesnt do drugs or doesnt prostitute herself, I had not the slightest of chance in Hell. This was about 7 years ago. Not that me and my ex have such a bad relationship, but she is, and always will be a Gold...okay, lets call her a Con-Woman ;-)
I will never ever PAY enough for what I have done, which is leave her. But, I can honestly say, although I dont know much about it at all, that I havent heard a time when a woman got screwed, just the opposite. Just like I havent seen a `Mothers for Justice` anywhere. Hell, my ex brother in laws sister says she gets so much money for her 2 kids, just from the governement, she wouldnt even need to work...lmao. And the girl owns a house. SO I kind of feel like a cash register who gets stolen every 2 weeks, specially since she can't even by my kids toothbrushes or a scarf in winter.But again, I was told I have no chance in hell, because, basically, the kids arent maimed
But, this is besides the point. She wasnt in it for the money, initially, I`m sure. But she sure as HELL is in it for it now....
And your man thing dont work. Granted, I was an ***hole back then, but I can say, in all honesty, I`m better. She still isnt cutting me any slack, yet on some weeks, you wonder what to eat, you know?
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 720
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 11:09:52 AM

It goes with the territory. I'm sorry your marriage didn't work, most of us are in that boat, and all are sorry it didn't work out as we planned.


Wasnt a marriage, thank GOD lol. Hell, if now is any indication, she would have fled with my soul I'm not saying I begrudge it to my kids, my responsibilities, as such I pay. But gosh darnit, the waste...you know she has a huge freaking 52 inch tv in the living room, videoway or whatever it is they have for renting movies at home, and entire bookshelve of dvd collections, a car, a baldaquin bed? And I'm expected to swallow she cant buy the kids toothbrushes...you know how normal it is when you breath in your 3 y old daughters breath and she smells like a 10 year smoker?
Cant rebuild the life as long as I'm still paying this much. So, my only logical conclusion; (said in Arnold Voice) YOU ARE TERMINATED....

Oh, Oyvay, if you paid more, you win more right? I dunno where you are, but its a percentage thing with a minimal balance thrown in. Unless she wants you for more, then you taste it lol. I gots not problem paying more, I mean...I could always put a mortgage on my future tombstone
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 721
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 11:20:01 AM
Come on men. Lets see ONE man here say they only date women who make at least as much as they do, INCLUDING your child payment deduction. Its ok on here to admit that you loved that big old house you and your Ex shared and NEED that next income chick to get back to where you DESERVE to be.

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Don't see any waves. Hmmmmm. OK, since all of you need that additional income chick to get back to where you DESERVE to be, let's rephrase the question. Now be honest. How many of you men seek marriage, and more children?
 SoBayNative
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 722
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 11:31:23 AM
^^^Really? I can't remember the last time I dated a man who had money, much less trying to marry one for it.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 723
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 12:00:55 PM
Oh Capn, I won't get into costs, no point rehashing all that. I did it once on here, Savona knows the story. I was nicked pretty good, but was in far better shape than most financially, so no, I didn't feel the pain as you do.

The part where she seems to ignore her childs needs, irks me. It happens, but you always hate to hear about it.

But you have to know this, in my rantings about divorce and settlements, I heard from many women who either walked with nothing, or went to court only to receive a pittance. Courts seem to sway one way or the other, sometimes it seems without rhyme or reason, or worse because someone lies and gets away with it. That seems to happen to both genders.

I'd like to say I know what you should do, but am unfamiliar with the way family courts work in Canada.

The problem (not sure this applies) is one wants vengence on the other, for whatever the reason. You know what they say, when you seek vengence, dig 2 graves one for you the other for the other person. No one wins when both lose.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 724
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 1:01:36 PM

Why would anyone begrudge their kids anything?

And as far as the big TV,the movie service,etc, I'm going to presume that the children also have access to these luxuries.
If you can honestly substantiate that your ex is seriously NEGLECTING the children, then turn her ass in to the appropriate agency!
Otherwise, complaining about the fact that she has somehow or other managed to create a situation where there are some comforts and luxuries for the kids and herself, just reflects badly on YOU.
If you can substantiate neglect and gross mismanagement of funds meant for the childrens' wellbeing, then take action. Otherwise, accept the fact that when a family gets broken and separate habitations have to be maintained,somebody is going to experience some sacrifice and suffering, and it DAMN WELL should not be the children!
Cindy O
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 725
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/21/2011 2:24:23 PM

And as far as the big TV,the movie service,etc, I'm going to presume that the children also have access to these luxuries.

Well sure they do. Except when they don't. Jesus...

If you can honestly substantiate that your ex is seriously NEGLECTING the children, then turn her ass in to the appropriate agency

No SHIT lady? Jeez, I never thought about that! Let me see, let me take out a fat wad of bills to pay the private investigator the cash I dont have to make an investigation to get the DPJ involve so that they take away MY kids and send them to a foster family while the investigation which is gonna take 2 years takes places and then, when the kids dont even remember me anymore, they go back to their mothers who was found squeaky clean cos she is a MOTHER. I'm happy you give me these ideas and defend another lady whom you have NO FREAKIN IDEA ABOUT.

Otherwise, complaining about the fact that she has somehow or other managed to create a situation where there are some comforts and luxuries for the kids and herself, just reflects badly on YOU.
Its not a question of reflection. Its a question of f*cking STARVING! But hey, you women are so mistreated in the world of today...

somebody is going to experience some sacrifice and suffering,


And this is written...where? Did I ask her to take me to the courts? I told her I was going to pay and she takes me to the cleaners...think I asked for this? Think my KIDS asked for this? How the hell do I explain to my 8 y old who comes and sees me and asks me why I cant buy her a freakin lunch at a restaurant when she sees me handling a wad of 100s and give them in their hands to her mom? I dont even have to say a freakin word for my kids to get the conclusions they want to get, my kids got pissed at their mom all by herself. Of COURSE the children shouldnt suffer of the seperation, but they ALWAYS do. Its the way the world works, and as much as I try, as I KILL myself to help them, to see to their needs, to fight for them, it will NEVER be enough to shelter them as much as I want to . My ex could at least be my ally instead of my butxcher, it would help. Instead, she's turning the kids against her alllll by herself, and I have to punish my kids for talking badly about their mom when they are RIGHT in the first place.

But hey, I should shut up and pay up is your conclusion, right lady?
For chrissake.....
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