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 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 76
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^^^^^^^^^^so if you find women marrying up for money so disgusting, why do you advertise on your profile that you make a "very good salary"? A little bit of a hypocrite arent you? As you are "selling" what you are condeming women for "buying", or are you special?

Dude, your anger and borderline disgust of women is your problem, not the women of the west....
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 77
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 7:39:34 AM

all women marry men for their money. once married, the woman has no obligations, and the man has all the obligations.


This is simply not a fact: it is your opinion. Please, show me statistics and facts wherein you can PROVE that ALL women marry men for their money. You would have to be privy to every marriage on the face of the earth, and you are not omniscient.

Furthermore, I don't know in which land of delusion you dwell when you say that a married women has NO obligations. I have been married and I was in a long-term relationship; in the marriage, my ex made most of the money, but I raised the kids. Raising children IS an obligation! In the long-term, I supported his ass.

Every couple whom I know share financial obligations. In fact, I don't know a couple in which the wife does not work (or is retired). I had lunch with three of my colleagues yesterday, two women and a man: only one of the women is married. She is part-time and wants a full-time job in order to fulfill more of her "obligations," even though her husband tells her not to worry about it.

My boyfriend makes ten times as much money as I do, but if we move in together, then I will continue to work and pay for my bills DESPITE the fact that he has said it would not be necessary for me to work.


this is why over 50 percent of women now in the usa are not married, and are not likely ever to get married. men have woken up.


As for your other claims, please give me the stats on unmarried women in the US. And while you are at it, give me the breakdown of how many presently unmarried women were once married.

In the US, women initiate more divorces than do men.
http://www.divorce-lawyer-source.com/faq/emotional/who-initiates-divorce-men-or-women.html

http://fathersforlife.org/divorce/divmen.htm

http://strongmarriagenow.com/2010/04/why-do-most-women-initiate-divorce/

From these stats, it would seem that US men haven't "woken up" but are still sleeping.


the uk government recently published some stats on how "over 2 million british men have DISAPPEARED in the last decade". they "imputed" numbers for their census (ie lied and made up crap) to cover for only part of the disparity.


Where did you get this info? What do you mean by "disappeared"? Why would men seeking to marry foreign wives have to disappear? This doesn't make any sense. Prove that the census information was a cover up.


well, i just got back from mexico city. i don't know if there are two million british men there with gorgeous, traditional, faithful mexican wives and girlfriends, but i met an awful lot.


Then move to Mexico, dude: with your attitude, I doubt that any US woman will cry to see you go!

And how many did you see? Some numbers, please, that you can back up.

Personally, I don't have a problem with American men wanting foreign women. I would not want one of those men, anyway--and neither would most US women.

Boycott us, honey!

By the way, there has been a lot of discussion about Asian wives in these forums. My boyfriend has been in China for two months. There is not a lot of Caucasian men married to Chinese women; of course, most marriages of these types would be where the woman comes to the US--for obvious reasons.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 78
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 7:43:35 AM
joebleaux writes on his profile:
I make an extremely good salary and have dated off and on,


grizzelda wrote:
^^^^^^^^^^so if you find women marrying up for money so disgusting, why do you advertise on your profile that you make a "very good salary"? A little bit of a hypocrite arent you? As you are "selling" what you are condeming women for "buying", or are you special?

Dude, your anger and borderline disgust of women is your problem, not the women of the west....


I missed the advertisement of his salary on his profile! Gad!
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 79
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 7:50:25 AM

all women marry men for their money. once married, the woman has no obligations, and the man has all the obligations.
What a load of bullsh1t.
All women? No responsibilities?
Man oh man, you have some major hangups!
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 80
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 8:13:02 AM
Wow I knew this would be a hot button issue when I read the title.

While I do NOT agree that all women marry for money, I do think it is a major consideration.

Is that bad?.......No........Anyone of either gender would be foolish to marry someone that would drag them down in anyway.......financially, emotionally...ECT.

My first wife was bi-polar the second turned greedy.

Does that mean all are like them?......Again NO.

However it does make me aware of red flags that I wasn't before.

Are men "waking up".........We all learn from past experiences and trends.

What I want is a woman that can take care of her own needs that doesn't NEED me to supplement her,but complement her.

As she should complement me. Someone that is willing to hold on in lean times as well as the good.

Eddie Murphy said one time we are all F'up and we shouldn't look for perfect but someone that is just as F'up as we are and be happy.

He told it as a joke......However it has some real truth to it.

The one thing where the fairer gender might disagree with me is the prenup.
I will never marry again without one.

Not because I think the marriage will fail or I am waiting on it to. It is because if it does the love is gone and all that is left is a contract. I want to be sure if that happens my assets I plan to leave my children are protected.

JMHO
 Truthisee
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 81
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 8:15:35 AM

increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money


I've seen it, income seems to be in the top three questions frequently asked by recent women I have dated, so I basically tell them I will tell you mine if you tell me yours, and if it is less than mine (99% of the time) I ask them why they think I would want anything to do with them

Bottom line is why date someone who's expectation of others exceed their own
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 82
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 8:23:05 AM

all women marry men for their money. once married, the woman has no obligations, and the man has all the obligations.


--Really?? Half of all first marriages in the US are women under age 25, who marry men age 26 or less. HOW many men under age 26 "have money"? Well better than half the the remaining are men under 32. HOW many men age 26 to 32 "have money"?

In addition ...

... the VAST majority of children are born to men under age 35. Men under 35 seldom "have money". In fact, men who "have money" by a wide margin are in their 50's and 60's, and sometimes even 70's. Men who "have money" past age 50 who have new children are so rare it is news.

--Young, breedable women marry -- and have children by -- lean, athletic, young men (who can defend the cave) who have handsome faces (which indicates good breeding genes).


this is why over 50 percent of women now in the usa are not married, and are not likely ever to get married.


--70% of all wo/men past age 50 are married, up to the time until men start to die off in their 60's. Of the 30% of women not married after age 50, some are widows, and many were once married. Many are also lesbians who don't want to marry. AND a high percentage are women who had little or no sexual desire for a man even as a young woman, and now with age most or all of that desire is gone, gone, gone.

------ All THAT said, a book promo last year -- for "The Secrect Currency Of Love" edited by Hilary (one "l") Black -- stated bluntly that 2/3rds of ALL single women age 20 to age 50 would catagorically "marry a man they didn't love" IF he had "enough assets", "enough" defined as 2-1/2 million$ or more, except for those age 30 to 39 who would "accept" a mil and a half.

One __slight__ problem. I was unable to find any such study anywhere done at anytime. Well, there was also a second problem. When I wrote Hil Black asking about the study, she did not respond.

In other words, the existence of the "study" was fictionalized to sell her books.

BTW, the women referenced in her book had one and all made absolute trash of their relationships with their individual men. BUT Hil Black sold some books pandering to a dream held by a few thousands of lost soul women hoping to trade their bodies for an enhanced lifestyle they individually were unwilling to work for.

Hookers only get to sleep with men no other woman wants.
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 83
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 8:28:22 AM
Being educated only means that you've paid for an education, it doesn't override common sense or make a person smarter than a natural genious. Money on the other hand does have real value and a person whom marries into it can be taught how to maintain and increase it to the benefit of both. I have no disregard for women whom marry for money. God forbid they marry for love because that doesn't really exist until longterm exposure has forced it. And for some it never evolves but lets face it. It is smarter to start with something to work with than nothing at all.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 84
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 8:39:11 AM
Eitherway, this is an age old conclusion that people talk about when they can not figure out what went wrong or do not want to admit what went wrong.


That may be so, but the fact some people use a thing as an excuse doesn't make it any less true. "It was raining that day, so I just couldn't drive all that way." The fact you *could* have driven all that way, rain or shine, doesn't mean it wasn't raining that day.


I don't know any women that puts money as the priority when they are over 45.


You may not know them, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. And they're not likely to come right out and say money's their priority.
 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 85
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 8:51:04 AM

... the VAST majority of children are born to men under age 35. Men under 35 seldom "have money". In fact, men who "have money" by a wide margin are in their 50's and 60's, and sometimes even 70's. Men who "have money" past age 50 who have new children are so rare it is news.


I’d go further than that: where the median net worth of a North American irrespective of age is $120K, – who are these guys who are being chased? I mean, I do alright, and I look around at my associates and peers and I don’t see anyone marrying trophy wives, dating starlets or supporting mistresses.
 niagara45
Joined: 8/15/2010
Msg: 86
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:10:54 AM

this is why over 50 percent of women now in the usa are not married, and are not likely ever to get married. men have woken up.


Let's assume your number (50%) is correct, although I wonder about the percentage of men who are not married, either. Regardless, it seems to me that "people" have woken up and realized marriage/cohabitation is not the be all and end all.


american men are behind their british counterparts, but catching up fast.


Don't let us hold you back. Tijuana is calling you!
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 87
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:15:12 AM
I don't know any women that puts money as the priority when they are over 45.


Not my experience at all. In fact, quite the opposite ...

... women over 45 seem to ask no questions at all except ...

... "Where (what neighborhood) do you live?" ..... "What do you do for a living?" ..... What schools (plural) did you get your graduate degrees (plural) from?" ..... "What's your favorite restaurants?" ..... "Where do you take your foreign vacations?" ..... What do you do on your weekends?" ..... "What brokerage houses (plural) do you have your accounts (plural) with?" ..... etc., etc., etc........

---(Ninety seconds into a first conversation with a woman mid-50's who
declared exceptional interest in me, I was asked what kind of car I drive.
Nevermind, I live on a island (Manhattan) where parking -- just parking --
for a car is $250 a month (for an out of the way parking lot) to $700 or
more a month (for a local garage)).

Those questions are seldom asked by young women, even at my now age. (Young women are too busy looking into my eyes, or at my chest, or at the "tailoring" of my pants.)

I’d go further than that: where the median net worth of a North American irrespective of age is $120K


--According to the Census Bureau, the average __STATED__ male income is about $44k, which includes married men, single men having a quite a bit less income. ACCORDING TO THE ------IRS---------- the average __REPORTED__ male income is about 20% less. (No penalty for lying to the Census Bureau, so people "bump it up" a bit.)

-----THAT said, only about ten single man in a thousand have a net worth over a mil$. Half of them are gay or otherwise socially unworthy, with many of the rest obese. Almost all are over age 50.

Gold diggers, enjoy yourself, ya hear? It's a job, do your best or you can be replaced.

--BTW, according to IRS figures, over half of those people who reported an income over $200k in any year did NOT report such income three years prior. ------THAT MEANS ------- half won't report such income three years from now.

Men moving into expensive housing areas who quietly move out three or so years later is so common it is a cliche. Sociologists blame profligate men as much as profligate partners.


this is why over 50 percent of women now in the usa are not married, and are not likely ever to get married. men have woken up.


The percentage is much less than 50% single. However ...

... a study done for AARP in 2004 showed about 75% (that's right, seventy-five percent, three out of four) single women over age 40 will NEVER AGAIN in their lifetimes have hot-and-sweaty, face-to-face sex with a man. That's SINGLE women, and the statement was made in the study (done by a woman PhD) that lack of sexual interest in a man was THE greatest reason single women over 40 never married or who had husbands who divorced them.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 88
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:30:03 AM

this is why over 50 percent of women now in the usa are not married,

No, the simple rebuttal to this would be that they've seen what's available and decided to wait and see if there's something better in the next shipment.

But seriously, many women are now putting ongoing education and rewarding careers ahead of marriage. I'm sure that quite a few of that 50% are women who are widowed or divorced and aren't in a big hurry to remarry. Just because a woman is not married doesn't mean she doesn't have an equal partnership with a man she loves,whether she does or does not live with them. And I'm assuming that "women" means also the many females over 65 and up to 100+ who have lost their husbands to death and don't care to seek another husband. You make a bad choice when you are 25, you have time to get out and deal with the aftermath...make a bad choice of husband when you are 65-70, and you may never completely repair your life. I saw that very thing happen to my own mother...and she married DOWN, actually, in terms of money,HE was the gold-digger.
Cindy O
 venndiagram
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 89
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:35:15 AM
I don't plan te re-marry so a pre-nup isnt a consideration for me. However, I would make sure to have a co-habitation agreement in place. This would be to protect my children, my partner's children, and to make sure that everyone knew what would happen in the event of separation or death. It's important for children to understand and thus be able to more readily accept and embrace the new relationship.

When you get older, finances become more complex. People have dependants and obligations. This isnt about trust or lack of it, but about making expectations and understandings clear.

IMO
 niagara45
Joined: 8/15/2010
Msg: 90
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:37:02 AM
You make a bad choice when you are 25, you have time to get out and deal with the aftermath...make a bad choice of husband when you are 65-70, and you may never completely repair your life. I saw that very thing happen to my own mother...and she married DOWN, actually, in terms of money,HE was the gold-digger.
Cindy O


That is a very good point, Cindy. Older people really can't afford to make a bad marriage. In addition to the financial and practical consequences, it would really hurt to find that the thing one had tried to avoid (being alone in one's old age) had come to pass. If one is going to end up alone anyway, better to keep a sensible eye on the big picture, like how to support oneself.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 91
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:45:19 AM
^^^^^The FIRST time I heard about the good-digging men preying on old ladies in West Palm Beach Florida was when I was 16 years old, and I lived 1,500 miles away. I'd heard it from an old timer who had been stationed there in the Air Force. He was disgusted.

I much, much, much later heard from a reliable source that 40% of the "marks" of gigolo's had once sex workers (in literal fact) themselves (another 40% likely had been what's known today as "social hookers"). I understand older women (and men) often are inclined to throw their remaining money at some charming person for the small amount of company and comfort they receive in return, and so their kids don't get the money.

On the other hand, I knew a guy who poured more than $100,000 into "restoring" a $3,000 sailboat. He seemed to be angry at his kids, and often mentioned how ingrateful they were.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 92
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:49:42 AM
all women marry men for their money.


Since according to this poster, all women marry for money, it makes me wonder what all men marry for.

once married, the woman has no obligations, and the man has all the obligations.


It doesn't seem that way to me. At least not according to shows like Divorce Court, and Hollywood.

men are sick of being used.


Perhaps if they weren't so stupid, and naive, they wouldn't have gotten used. Apparently men aren't too sick of being used, because many of them are still going down that same lane. Trust. Most of you are still suckers.

As Danny Devito once put it, "There is a sucker born every minute. You gotta take em for all he got."
 Truthisee
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 93
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 11:15:18 AM

Perhaps if they weren't so stupid, and naive, they wouldn't have gotten used. Apparently men aren't too sick of being used, because many of them are still going down that same lane. Trust. Most of you are still suckers.


This is why I only bother dating when I'm horny, most often all you need to get in a woman's pants is a rather large um...

bank account.


 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 94
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 11:22:28 AM
*IF* one actually felt that way (most people don't), AND *IF* they were honest (most people who feel that way aren't) they'd mention it in their profile.

Most everyone starts out trusting. After some measure of experience, few stay absolutely trusting.

Most, eventually, take some form of the the advice, "Trust everyone, but cut the cards."
 som1spcl
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 95
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 11:56:26 AM
I certainly find this topic interesting considering the whole 'cougar phenomenon' that seems to have taken place in the western world. Although I am certain these young men like older women because of the fact that so many don't seem to have the sexual hang ups that some young women have. I can't help but wonder if the guys might enjoy the fact that older women also have more financial independence. The young guys most likely are not looking for marriage but are they not looking to be taken care of financially for the time being?
I myself do not date younger men so cannot say that this is the case but...
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 96
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 12:09:49 PM

I certainly find this topic interesting considering the whole 'cougar phenomenon' that seems to have taken place in the western world.




The young guys most likely are not looking for marriage but are they not looking to be taken care of financially for the time being?


Seeing as the term cougar means a 40's something woman looking for hot sex with younger hot guys.
I doubt there would be any financial gain to said guys.

A cougar is a predator......It kills feeds and moves on to the next kill.
I doubt the predator is going to add to her "kills" bank account!

However the dirty old man is much more likely to have to pony up some funds to win any affection!
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 97
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 12:18:24 PM

Perhaps if they weren't so stupid, and naive, they wouldn't have gotten used. Apparently men aren't too sick of being used, because many of them are still going down that same lane. Trust. Most of you are still suckers.


Are you saying a man who trusts a woman is stupid, naive, and probably a sucker? Sure sounds like it. How very charming and romantic. What should a stupid, naive man like me do instead--distrust every woman I meet, whether she's given me any reason to, or not?

If I sense a woman assumes I'm guilty unless I can prove I'm innocent, that does it, for me. It's arrogant and offensive--after all, how do I know but what SHE has the morals of a scorpion? I'm sure some women like to flatter themselves that their sex is morally superior, but I'm not buying it.

And I doubt most women would find it too thrilling to think I was starting out distrusting them, either. It's certainly no good to be foolish and gullible--but it's no better to assume the worst about everyone you might date.
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 12:28:31 PM
OK, so where are these men?

I am getting sick and tired of supporting the ones I end up with.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 99
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 12:31:56 PM
^^^@ Matchlight. Actually, I was referring to the guy in msg #75 claiming that all women marry for money, how we are users and how men are sick of being used.

If the guy in msg #75, and the other "men" he's referring to are so fed up with being used by women, then why do they continuously allow themselves to fall victim to that? Those are the suckers I was referring to. If any of those men are just as bitter as the guy in msg 75, then yes. A lot of naivety indeed.

Sometimes, people can catch users from a mile away. It is not always something that slips right through our fingers.
 som1spcl
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 100
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 1:29:16 PM


Seeing as the term cougar means a 40's something woman looking for hot sex with younger hot guys.
I doubt there would be any financial gain to said guys.

A cougar is a predator......It kills feeds and moves on to the next kill.
I doubt the predator is going to add to her "kills" bank account!


mjyawn67...finally, someone that knows the definition of 'cougar'. Now if only the rest of the world would take notice.
Although in most cases, I would think that there would not be a huge financial gain for the young men that date older women, I don't think they have any financial lose either.
I would think that the women most likely pick up the tab if they were to go for dinner, concert, etc. Now if these guys were to be dating women closer to their own age, chances are they would be picking up the tab in most cases. I may be getting off topic as far as the original post, so let me give my 2 cents worth about women marrying men for money...it works both ways.
Unfortunately I am the one that is paying. After a relatively short marriage, I am the one parting ways with part of my investments. I have never been a 'gold digger' & never will be. I won't bore you with details, so to make a long story short...he lied to me about his business, income & plans for retirement. I myself could not imagine looking someone in the eye & lying, so I never thought that I should check these things out.
In the end, it is only stuff lost & maybe my a bit of my pride. I cannot help but feel a little sorry for someone that feels a need to misrepresent themselves to the world. Seems like a pathetic way to live.
Lesson learned...I suppose if ever I enter into a relationship of marriage or living with someone, full~disclosure would be required.
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