Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 101
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their moneyPage 5 of 32    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)
^^^^^RushLuv, Thanks for clearing that up. I'll let that gentleman speak for himself. In any case, I'm not English, and I don't want a girlfriend who lives in Mexico City.

Yes, you can spot users from a mile away--*sometimes.* But some of them have put a lot more thought into using people than I care to put into defending against every cleverly concealed ruse imaginable. Even so, you should be able to spot the problem before you get in WAY deep.

The worst it ever cost me was a couple hundred bucks to feed and drink several connivers, the time I wasted on getting ready for a few no-shows, and a couple vicious e-mails and phone attacks by women I was lucky never to meet.

So now I keep it very short and simple at first, unless I really feel I know her. When I see, "Pleeease--NO 'Starbux meets' for this girl--I'm worth more than that," or similar, I find myself saying, "Well--isn't it just wonderful that you think so!"

BTW, the one I'd e-mailed back and forth with a few times (on another site) had been nothing but sweetness and light, and she was very pretty. But as soon as she found out my income wasn't what she'd imagined, our came all her claws and her four-letter vocabulary.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 102
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 1:40:44 PM
Gwendolyn was the first to catch it and reply to it... the study appeared on the BBC UK Site. Where was this study taken ?

" Dr Catherine Hakim, says "there is a myth that women invariably choose to have a relationship of total equality. More and more women are choosing to marry men who are substantially better educated than them, and therefore have higher earnings."
I thought this was standard procedure, maybe she is referring to political correctness. "

British Women ? British Political Correctness ?
 niagara45
Joined: 8/15/2010
Msg: 103
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 1:58:24 PM

So now I keep it very short and simple at first, unless I really feel I know her. When I see, "Pleeease--NO 'Starbux meets' for this girl--I'm worth more than that," or similar, I find myself saying, "Well--isn't it just wonderful that you think so!"


I agree with you. I don't want to spend a lot of time or money just to meet someone to see if we are mutually interested. A cup of coffee together is good enough, and it doesn't have to be Starbucks; Timmie's is just fine.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 104
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 2:12:11 PM
Wait, message 75, aren't women in other countries looking for rich American men to marry and get into the states and send your money to their families...aren't they gold diggers? And if you were just looking for nice women from a culture that submits to their husbands, why would you need to advertise your high salary? It would seem you are not only looking for a gold digger but you are hopeful that they feel below you and will accept being taken care of over being your companion in life. So the problem seems to be not with women marrying for money but with women who have the audacity to feel they are your equal and have an identity outside your last name.
 Twilightslove
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 105
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 2:18:33 PM

Wait, message 75, aren't women in other countries looking for rich American men to marry and get into the sates and send your money to their families...aren't they gold diggers? And if you were just looking for nice women from a culture that submits to their husbands, why would you need to advertise your high salary? It would seem you are not only looking for a gold digger but you are hopeful that they feel below you and will accept being taken care of over being your companion in life. So the problem seems to be not with women marrying for money but with women who have the audacity to feel they are your equal and have an identity outside your last name.


Great call daynadaze!!!
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 106
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 2:30:34 PM

... a study done for AARP in 2004 showed about 75% (that's right, seventy-five percent, three out of four) single women over age 40 will NEVER AGAIN in their lifetimes have hot-and-sweaty, face-to-face sex with a man. That's SINGLE women, and the statement was made in the study (done by a woman PhD) that lack of sexual interest in a man was THE greatest reason single women over 40 never married or who had husbands who divorced them.


You have a point if that is true, where 75% of the men are here on dating sites, as maybe 25% or less[women] 40 & over,are here to date. If you are successful why are we here? Do you think that will make a difference to women?
imo,most women don't worry to date,mate,whatever,they are more concerned on survive & its in their dna.
 Whole 9 Yards
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 107
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 2:51:58 PM
This is business as usual.

The problem is equality. Many women make as much as or exceed the income of many men.
Yet for some reason,. many women still seek out a "provider" or the old version of the male/female dynamic. So a woman who is equal to most men wants someone "above" her.
And therein lies the rub. The number of guys who are going to keep the old tradition male/female earning ratio are going to get smaller as the number gets bigger.
Add in things like, he has to be good looking, handsome, tall, professional snake charmer etc. and the number of "worthy" candidates goes down quickly.
 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 108
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 3:45:35 PM
^^ A guy has to be professional snake charmer now too?!

Man I'm so glad to be off the market. All this working out, shaving of body hair, tanning and facials, hair gel, lifts, tucks, supports and metro-dressing crap. It's amazing people even have time to get out and meet each other.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 109
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 5:21:56 PM
"women marrying men for their money"?!

omg... next thing you know men will be marrying women because of the way they look...

oh the humanity
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 110
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 5:46:15 PM
^^^^I seem to have seen someone try to draw that parallel before. Doesn't wash with me. Who, really, does NOT want someone whose looks they like also to like theirs? It's direct, basic validation that you're sexually desirable. And as long as that's paired with friendliness and affection, it gives you both a feeling of acceptance that's very satisfying.

But how it can possibly make a man feel good to have an attractive woman drawn to him because of some property he's acquired, I cannot imagine. It has nothing to do with HIM, the person. And when a woman has no children to raise and a good income of her own, I think the line between arrangements like that and being a courtesan or mistress is pretty thin.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 111
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 5:47:40 PM
I'm waiting on dude in msg 75 to answer my question on what are all men marrying for. Or why are they marrying. Since women marry men for their wallets. I'm just curious.
 sweetness-one
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 112
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 7:22:30 PM

I’d go further than that: where the median net worth of a North American irrespective of age is $120K, – who are these guys who are being chased? I mean, I do alright, and I look around at my associates and peers and I don’t see anyone marrying trophy wives, dating starlets or supporting mistresses.


Thank you! Best post yet in this thread!

Reading through this thread...wow...

"Marrying for money" and so many male posters are getting up in arms. I have to assume that they are worried that "she makes a bit less than I do, does she only want me for my money?" or some such.

Because people (male or female) with real serious money? Aka "REAL" money? Wouldn't worry about this, they'd already take it for a given that the gold-diggers would come out of the woodwork, and would take steps to protect themselves or hide the fact that they have *that* kind of moohlah in the first place.

But to read so many posters here that are worried about gold-diggers....well, come on...if they DID have *that* kind of moohlah, they wouldn't even be posting here, they'd already have a barrage of lawyers safeguarding them from losing said moolah.

Or at least one lawyer.

But...the men who WOULD have the kind of scary moolah that they might need the barrage of lawyers for? Wouldn't be advertising it.

In my experience, men who actually HAVE money? Don't whine. Men who don't? See "gold-diggers" at every turn. The men who actually HAVE money, or at least, equal to what the woman has? Are silent. So....experience leads me to believe that, the only men whining are, the ones who have no money.

So many men here whining about "gold-diggers" on the forums...when they are free to weed those said ladies out as they choose. But, then I'd hazard a guess...many would then come back bytching that they can't get a date without mentioning their "money".
Such as it is.

Love it when life makes me giggle, and people are less than predictable.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 113
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 7:32:57 PM
^^^ a bit a generalization there sweetness - I have to say I have met very few women who are open to the idea of a prenup unless their financial assets equal to or greater than the man they are considering coupling with - go figure... this could be a growing market for lawyers now that women are becoming increasingly financially independant.
 sweetness-one
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 114
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 8:00:48 PM
^^^ And you should feel free NOT to date those said women then, Paddy o Lantern, if you choose not to.

What makes me giggle is men who whine after the fact "she used me for my money" but, that's all they put on display to attract the woman in the first place.Those types of men? Didn't have *money* in the first place...or as I previously said, people that actually have money? Wouldn't have advertised it and would have protected their assets.

So to whine that women "only" want men for their money....

...Well, in my experience, that's just something men with no money say. Also something men with no personality/no other way to attract women would say.

And I'm sure the same would be true with sexes reversed. But yeah...I've always found, only the men who are broke or strapped, kvetch about "what a gold-digger one must be, to expect me to have a job". Lol, just sayin.

 venndiagram
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 115
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 8:12:51 PM
I think a lot of people are missing a point here. There are sadly, and to my everlasting amazement, a fair number of women who look at what kind of 'provider' a guy will be. Or in other words, looking for a good meal ticket.

If you are an educated employed woman, you arent considering the numbers of women working in minumum wage jobs. Generally speaking, men can attract much higher wages without education- and go into higher paying fields- plumbing, construction, and so forth.

The fact is, that there are a fair number of women out there who will latch onto a guy for this reason. He doesn't have to be a millionaire, but in the event of a divorce, he does stand to lose a great deal, and if he feels he was deceived as to how the woman felt about him, then yes, he is going to feel used. Much in the same way as a woman who ended up in a one night stand might feel if she felt lied to.

I don't blame any guy who wants a pre nup especially if he owned property before marriage. That said, I don't know how effective they are.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 116
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 9:29:30 PM
Why would Hugh Hefner marry that blonde bimbette and why would the blonde bimbette marry him - you think it's love....I think it's a combination of the fact he has money (plus she gets her 15 minutes of fame) and he gets arm candy. This is the fantasy life and not real life.

But I think the average Joe out there is still looking for someone that he can love, compliments him and his life style and the same goes for the average Jane. I don't personally know anyone that was looking for a meal ticket.

As for pre-nups, anyone that has property, children and assets should be protecting themselves no matter what age or gender they are. Want to live together - get a co-habitation agreement. Just makes sense.

There will always be some women that look for the rich guy and there will be some men that look for the arm candy and I don't think that will change. The majority will just find someone that fits them and they won't mind if he makes more money or she makes more money as they will blend their earnings to enhance both their lives.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 117
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:29:27 PM
The author alluded to women marrying men who are ( more) educated. It was HER reference to earnings potential based on having a higher education- this doesn't necessarily mean that it translates to marrying for money.
I for one will seek a relationship with a successful man- that to me means that he's educated and has applied himself,,,and has had results and continues to grow from that- as a positive individual, etc.- not in monetary terms. Although I feel that if one applies themself that they will also be financially successful,,,but it's the character and determination that's key IMO.

Men and women have certain gender based qualities for a reason- each individual's reasons differ. I see many men who state in their profiles that they are a good provider, et al. I simply see this as being important to THEM- those individuals who WANT to be valued as a provider- not simply because they are.
A better example in equating what's important is the examples found in the 5 love languages- acts of service ( providing? as one of these), gifts, time, etc. One could say that providing for one's family is an act of service, etc. All that really matters at the end of the day is what works for both individuals- if he gets a great sense of self and reward by providing in HIS way- be it monetarily or by giving of himself, etc.,and if she gets a great sense of self and reward by contributing thru work or in other ways.

As for the comment on the pre-nup: More and more of my female friends are choosing to exercise these when they enter into a LTR, regardless of their assets and earning potential, simply to safeguard their assets for their (grown) children/ grandchildren, etc., as well as to make provisions for their spouse. Many these days have been divorced and seek it as a means to simplify their assets.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 118
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 11:51:05 PM
ok, I dont know if they will marry for money.. frankly I dont care, I am never doing it. (frog and the scorpion; damn frog gets it every time)

but they will indeed DATE for money. I played with the parameters a bit when I joined the site, changed the height, the education, the location, the weight, the money, kept the picture and the profile info exactly the same.... Most mail I got ? Over 6 foot, making 100+ a year, bachelors degree (the masters degree seemed to work the reverse direction) and living in 'seattle' vs BFE Washington .....

I know indeed, that if I am using this site, and want a date, I better be knocking those wickets, cuz the reality of the true stats, same pic, same profile info....crickets.

this isnt a poor me kinda thing. It is the actual experience that I recommend any of the men try with a dummy profile. You will see the results are indeed telling. try it for yourself.

done looking for american women, because I speak a language, and have spent more time over seas than here, and really I dont get you all at all.
Fishing overseas. never marrying.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 119
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 12:25:54 AM
It goes both ways. I've put ads up advertising sex and made sure I put something like talk/email in my status. You all know what happened I'm sure.

What happens between the two people is their business. My issue is with whiners (like many men) who complain about being used for their money and women about being used for sex.

This arrangement is as old as time and I don't even have to mention hookers in the equation. If both parties are okay with what they got going on - WHO CARES?

I'm just tired of whiners. Stop dating if that is the case. Grow some balls for gawd's sake.

Someone "taught" men to show off their material assets to women. And someone taught women to show off their sexual assets to men.

If we want things to change, look no further than your children. Otherwise, accept it. Simple really.
 rock_hunter
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 120
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 3:53:50 AM
Actually I have no problems with a woman marrying a guy for his money, provided she gives him the full value of his money. As in, acting as a wife, taking care of him and the house, and actually earning her keep.

Unfortunately, most of time it doesn't seem to be the case.
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 5:51:11 AM
venndiagram


I don't blame any guy who wants a pre nup especially if he owned property before marriage. That said, I don't know how effective they are.


Very good move. For BOTH men AND woman.

I had one for my second marriage, and my ex-husband did uphold it when we split. I'm sure it could have been contested in court, but he chose to be honorable. If I ever marry again, then yes I would have another one, or find someone who has equal to what I am bringing to the plate.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 122
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 6:02:45 AM
One thing I do see here in the forums often, is when a woman is seeking financial security in a man, she's called a 'gold digger' or 'self-entitled' or an 'opportunist.' Not everyone says that, but sure as the sun rises, you see those comments anytime this subject is discussed here.

The guys usually making those comments are ALSO the ones who'll fight tooth and nail to support the theory that men will seek out young women because they're "genetically progammed to seek out young women for their child-bearing viability." The funniest part about that is that the LAST thing most of these older guys are even thinking about is getting their pretty young playtoy pregnant.

But let a woman seek out a financially secure man and it can't possibly be due to genetic programming causing them to seek out a successful provider; no, it MUST be because she's a shrewish, self entitled gold digger whose out to take his fortune.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 123
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 6:13:21 AM

One thing I do see here in the forums often, is when a woman is seeking financial security in a man,


I have to ask, because I am VERY confused as to what this actually means or is defined by those that you use it,,,,,"financially secure"???????

Anyone?????
 ronosaurus
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 124
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 6:49:03 AM
In reply to Watts, Msg: 123

Financial security is about achieving material well-being. It's about having an adequate income to meet basic needs such as housing, food, and clothing. It's also about being able to take advantage of opportunities and lead a rewarding life.
The above text is from a Government of Canada web site (see below).
http://www4.hrsdc.gc.ca/d.4m.1.3n@-eng.jsp?did=4

 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 125
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 7:26:14 AM

Gwendolyn was the first to catch it and reply to it... the study appeared on the BBC UK Site. Where was this study taken ?


Isn't it amazing that people gloss over such necessary information such as this and blather on about aspects that have nothing to do with the study? Also, at the expense of repeating myself, THAT NEWS BLURB SAID NOTHING ABOUT WOMEN MARRYING FOR MONEY, it said that women marry more educated men with a "capacity" for earning more money.

I have the capacity to become a brain surgeon, but I never will.



Seeing as the term cougar means a 40's something woman looking for hot sex with younger hot guys.
I doubt there would be any financial gain to said guys.

A cougar is a predator......It kills feeds and moves on to the next kill.
I doubt the predator is going to add to her "kills" bank account!


"Cougar" is a term used by the general public to denigrate older women who date younger men. Like most derisive terms, it has no basis in reality. Women who refer to themselves as a "cougar" are largely pathetic, desperate women who want to think of themselves as younger and prettier than they are. The self termed "cougars" whose profiles I have seen on POF are not predators: they look plain and their profile blurbs are usually explanations of why they seek younger men.

Women who do not need to explain themselves just date whom they please, regardless of age, and they do not label themselves.


Many women make as much as or exceed the income of many men.


Give me the stats on how many women make or exceed the income of many men. In an earlier post, I gave stats that show women still make about 75% of every dollar that men make. Who are these "many" women? You make it sound as if they are the majority.


So a woman who is equal to most men wants someone "above" her.


Let me GET THIS STRAIGHT ONCE AND FOR ALL, because one partner makes more than the other does not make the higher wage earner "above" the other partner. All this twaddle about "equality" and how it goes out the window when a woman, or man, marries someone who makes more money is ridiculous. There is more contributed to a partnership than money.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money