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| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/14/2011 2:07:33 PM | If some bird, just dropped hints that she wanted me to ask her then, even if I could see those hints (and I usually can) I'd just ignore them - got no patience for that kind of nonsense. Even if I'd wanted to meet her, that kind of BS would put me right off of the idea.
If she's come out and said that yes she'd like to meet me sometime and then left it to me, to make the decision about where we're going, what we're doing ... that's fine.
But if she's just hinting, because she doesn't want to run the risk of getting turned down or because she's shy or because she's a bit of a fanny who likes being chased, then b*llocks to her.
I have no problem with asking a girl out ... I get annoyed at the idea of being "manipulated" into doing it.
****
@msg 76
I can understand what you're saying and that's sense.
In an ideal world, if I'm free to meet up and so are they, then I'd say we should just meet up. If we're not, then we just wait until we are.
Don't really get what the point of prolonging it would be. | |
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| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/14/2011 2:20:03 PM | From my experience, the longer you leave it to meet up the more of a disappointment it will likely be.
We build up this mental image of somebody and by the time you hook up they will never ever live up to the image in your head. Doomed for failure.
Get the inital meet asap so you know if it's make or break. | |
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addzz
| | Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 82 | |
| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/14/2011 4:00:56 PM | If you don't ask her to meet early on then it's almost guarenteed the conversation will end within 3-5 messages.
I've tried multiple strategies from asking them about their lives to talking about my own and everything under the sun. All you get back is a single sentence answer....
It's not worth the effort, you're best going to a bar and getting a cheap lay and see if anything develops. Women (on here) are too demanding and think every man is a raving predator out to sexually demonise. | |
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| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/14/2011 4:25:41 PM | Its true - if you exchange too many e mails then you are likely to become a cyber chat friend instead of a potential date or messages die off because one of you or both of you are bored of answering the same quetions about your profile over and over again!
But then sending a 1st contact message with your phone no doesnt work either lol!
x | |
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| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/14/2011 4:27:04 PM | Strategies?
Geez, this isn't some business deal ... it's just talking to someone 
If you're not getting any results whatseover, then maybe it's you and not them ... as after a while, you should be getting somewhere with someone.
It is worth the effort (up to a point) ... you just don't seem to be having any luck. | |
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_roxy_
| | Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 85 | |
| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/14/2011 4:28:30 PM | 'a raving predator out to sexually demonise'
aha, thats going on my christmas list.
If I were looking to date I'd get to it quite quickly I imagine. I agree with addzz, some people get bored (me) messaging back n forth or start talking to others. Nothing wrong with moving things forward if thats what you both want.
The straight away, 1st message request to meet up though I wouldn't take seriously, that would be daft. | |
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| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/14/2011 5:00:33 PM | if you exchange too many e mails then you are likely to become a cyber chat friend instead of a potential date or messages die off because one of you or both of you are bored of answering the same quetions about your profile over and over again!
Rather than worry about the amount of emails, I just set a time frame on it and if nothing's happening by the time I think it should be, then I'd just call it a day and walk away.
I suppose I don't worry about the number of messages I send, because I can talk for a very large galaxy and I never run out of stuff to say 
I don't see the messages as a way of getting to really know them. They're just filler until we meet up and if someone can't talk easily via email, then it doesn't tend to bode well for real life conversation
That's why I make a point of talking about it in the first paragraph of my profile. Before a woman even considers messaging me I want her to know my opinion on the matter.
If I contact a woman I suspect she will pretty much know after looking at my photos and my profile whether she would ever be willing to meet me.
VVVVVV
Word!
I've got that on mine too, but not as an opener - I've saved that for the "gritty" section.
Like you've said about yourself, I think any woman reading my profile will not have to think too much about whether I'm the type of guy she'd even want to talk to, let alone meet.
It wasn't designed that way - it's a picture of myself, rather than an advert - but it's been quite effective in just putting off women who I probably wouldn't click with anyway.
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| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/14/2011 5:01:29 PM | Spending weeks and weeks talking to someone on POF is pointless. That's why I make a point of talking about it in the first paragraph of my profile. Before a woman even considers messaging me I want her to know my opinion on the matter.
If I contact a woman I suspect she will pretty much know after looking at my photos and my profile whether she would ever be willing to meet me.
And after two or three messages she will probably know enough to have a gut feeling about me and decide whether to exchange contact details. It's just 'women's intuition'.
After I call her she'll know whether she wants to meet me. If at any point she feels uncomfortable she doesn't need to meet me and we've both saved a lot of time and effort.
It's not rocket science. | |
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ISIRSK
| | Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 88 | |
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| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/15/2011 2:07:01 AM | No it's not just you, men just want to cut to the chase and immediately want to find out if we're going to have sex with them and if we're not they aren't ging to waste any more time chatting
GROAN: If you just took out the middle bit about sex you'd be spot on.
Men just want to cut to the chase .... and aren't going to waste time chatting | |
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cc7up
| | Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 90 | |
| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/15/2011 7:07:56 AM | There are many seasoned predators on here just waitng to pounce on naive new fish so with those, who have just started to 'dip their toes' into the virtual world of Internet dating, in mind here is a poetic paralell they can draw from;
The Spider and the Fly
Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly,
'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to shew when you are there."
Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."
"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;
Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.
"There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin,
And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"
Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said,
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"
Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, " Dear friend what can I do,
To prove the warm affection I 've always felt for you?
I have within my pantry, good store of all that's nice;
I'm sure you're very welcome -- will you please to take a slice?"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "kind Sir, that cannot be,
I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!"
"Sweet creature!" said the Spider, "you're witty and you're wise,
How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes!
I've a little looking-glass upon my parlour shelf,
If you'll step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself."
"I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you 're pleased to say,
And bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day."
The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again:
So he wove a subtle web, in a little corner sly,
And set his table ready, to dine upon the Fly.
Then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing,
"Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple -- there's a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!"
Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew,
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue --
Thinking only of her crested head -- poor foolish thing! At last,
Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast.
He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den,
Within his little parlour -- but she ne'er came out again!
And now dear 'Forum Users', who may this story read,
To idle, silly flattering words, I pray you ne'er give heed:
Unto an evil counsellor, close heart and ear and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale, of the Spider and the Fly.
Mary Howitt (1799 -1888)
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| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/15/2011 7:11:02 AM | OP: Then I'm not normal then? Because it's me that says upfront that I wanna meet ASAP. It's just the same anyway you know in the old days when texting and online communications didn't make you know a person straight from your mom's basement, in your pajamas, etc.
How do you meet people before, a total stranger, you catch each other's eye, he asked if you want a drink so you can talk... that's the reason why I prefer to meet ASAP. I wanna meet the conventional way, but using online communication to take my pick conveniently. lol.
Just as long as the woman can take care of herself, I don;t see anything wrong with that. It also helps that I decide where we meet, and all my meets are for coffee/non alcoholic beverages.
I just learned my lesson the hard way sweet talking me online don't do shat once we meet in person. Action speaks louder than words. | |
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| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/15/2011 7:30:54 AM | Asking to meet asap is the quickest way of sorting out the time-wasters.
I purposely wrote a long profile so as to give an indication of what I'm like as well as what I like doing. I also clearly state that I'm not into endless emails, and that telephone contact should be established at the earliest opportunity.
I recently encountered a woman online who wanted to know more about me before the exchange of phone numbers, as she felt the profile wasn't detailed enough. After sending two lengthy emails (which received short responses and requests for more info) I decided I was wasting my time, wrote and told her so, and blocked her.
We cannot present our entire being accurately by the written word. | |
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| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/15/2011 1:17:07 PM | Think it depends on the person whether you think they are genuine or not I find a chat on phone is an icebreaker and you can generally tell from that if someone is genunely interested or not and you know what its a great way to find out too.
Obviously in some circumstances meeting quickly isnt possible ie working hours etc but they are obstacles that can be dealt with if you feel its right and that meeting is the next step...................... | |
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cc7up
| | Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 97 | |
| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/16/2011 1:14:39 AM | After establishing a good rappour through to and fro messaging with someone then (imo) the next logical stage would be to chat with them on the phone. If there is a reluctance by them to get to the phonecall stage then there is no point in wasting any more of your time or effort on that person.
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addzz
| | Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 98 | |
| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/16/2011 1:31:24 PM | Hi Roxy, can I rock your roxies?
(Sorry I'm just conforming with the notion all men just want to cut to the case and stick their genitals inside of something of the opposite sex)
I tend to cut to the chase because you can hear a trusting voice on the line if you can talk. In my experience after 3 or so messages the conversation WILL die down or cease to be and usually it's the woman that decides that.
I have had probably 10 meaningful conversation on here and I have a 100% fail rate with asking them to talk on the phone. That's where it will happen, on the phone where you can hear the emotions of the person and get a true feeling of their personality, not with words over a medium like the internet.
Every chick I've asked a number for has ignored the mail despite excellent rapport. I even have them on my facebook still which they talked to me all the time on until the "would you like to chat on the phone?" question comes in and they ALWAYS, ignore, run, hide and scurry off into some dark corner sitting cross legged muttering to themselves.
Women in the UK are just far too difficult, too introverted, too cautious too suspicious. I love american women, they talk to anyone, average joe always has a chance. I would have to look like a model off a mens health magazine with my pefectly crafted abs on here to get a meet.
Online dating just doesn't work at all....for me. | |
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gixsr1
| | Joined: 1/14/2011
Msg: 100 | |
| Is it just me who finds people who ask to meet straight away not normal?
Posted: 8/16/2011 3:07:04 PM | Dont see what the problem is why spend ages typing to somebody to go out and meet them and find out that there full of shit or not who or what they said they were.
Thats the problem with the internet all you do is type to someone, not talk,lets face it it was so much simpler years ago whan you went to the pub because there was no internet ok so there might not have been many people that you met but at least you had a night out, now every body stops in typing nonsense far better to get out of the house i think. | |
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