Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > 'when can I see you again?'      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 26
'when can I see you again?'Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I totally disagree with anyone who says that when a man asks this, to just give him a time and date because he PLANS to see you again.

I have had men ask this and I never heard from them again.

But, then, perhaps because I was evasive or lukewarm influenced their decisions.

Never mind.


OP- we men are simple...truly we are...

virtually always when a word comes out of our mouths, its what we mean.


Boondock, with all due respect, I must strongly disagree with this. I have been on the receiving end MANY times of statements made by men which they simply did not mean. I suppose it might have meant what they said at the time, but geez, when I change my mind, I let the other party know.

 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 27
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/2/2011 3:45:01 PM

But in my defense, of all the things I have planned, I only list about 3, the ones I actually think he'd be interested in, such as for instance: film festival/band playing/party - from or with specific theme around let's say... his country of origin (usually different than mine) or latin dance-related - since I usually meet them while dancing, or related to something he may have mentioned that he likes.
The reason I'm questioning it is because rarely do they seize the opportunity to accompany me, they don't offer any alternatives, but rather leave it in limbo...


You still don't get it OP, he's not asking you for a list of what you have planned for the next week, be it one, three, five, or 100 other things... you're telling him what *you* are doing (alone?), but that leaves him, unless you 'invite' him along, as an 'intruder' into your life.

He might know you have lots going on - he's asking "when are you *free*" so he can maybe suggest something - maybe dinner, maybe going to a club or a concert, who knows - but he wants to *take you* out on a date, not "invite himself along" to something you're already planning on doing - without him. You say "rarely do they seize the opportunity to accompany me" - are you *offering*? (ie, "showing interest in *him*"?) Or just "mentioning it" as part of the list of things you have planned and somehow expecting him to invite himself along? (Which in some ways is rather rude).
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 28
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/2/2011 4:54:15 PM
I knew a girl once just like the OP. Always telling me the "stuff" she had planned and with whom. She also had an uncanny ability to make sure she I knew when she was attending or doing these things with a male "friend".(she sure seemed to have a lot of them)

Either/or, once I let her be so that she could do allllllll the things she planned, she wondered later why she never heard from me again. I answered simpley that "she was busy".
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 29
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/2/2011 5:15:29 PM
gwen...at the time he asked it...he meant it! lol

could have been the way a woman responds to that question might lead a guy to think she doesn't want to see him again...OR...even maybe he changed his mind at some point...

but alas.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 30
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/2/2011 6:00:09 PM
he asks...can I see you again..

You reply... sure, call me sometime!!


IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE
 vita_bella
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 31
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/2/2011 6:26:05 PM
I feel the need to stress this again:

He does not have my number, we are on a first name basis at this point, as we just met in a salsa club. He asks 'it' and I respond with a couple of suggestions, events that look interesting to me - and I think him - in the next bit. I can't remember using the words 'how about...' or 'would you like to join me?' per se, and I think this is where I fail (among others).

If he was indeed interested, wouldn't he then say: 'sounds great! I'd love that!' or alternately 'I have plans those days but how about...'?

For all we know he's already planning to attend those same exact events with someone else
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 32
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/2/2011 6:36:04 PM

If he was indeed interested, wouldn't he then say: 'sounds great! I'd love that!' or alternately 'I have plans those days but how about...'?

For all we know he's already planning to attend those same exact events with someone else



For all he knew you had plans to attend these events with some one else and were trying to get him to leave. Next time let the guy know that you are interested.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 33
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/2/2011 8:00:37 PM
BoonDockSaint is right. Men really are simple creatures. I have asked that question before, and it means exactly what it says. It means he's interested and definitely wants to see you again, and wants to make the date. Now. At least that's what it means when I say it.

I don't know where you see "passive" or "polite but not really interested" in that question. He's taking the initiative because he's interested, and wants you to know it.

"passive" or "polite but not really interested" would be something along the lines of "This was great, let's do it again sometime", or "I'll talk to you later", and you never hear from him again.

You should know that if you answer "when can I see you again?" with what you're doing in the next few days/week, a man hears "I'm not interested in seeing you again" and you're making an excuse for it. He doesn't want to know what you're doing in the next few days/week. He wants to know when he can see you again.

Also, if you're on a date, why doesn't he already have your number?
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 34
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/2/2011 8:10:09 PM

He does not have my number, we are on a first name basis at this point, as we just met in a salsa club. He asks 'it' and I respond with a couple of suggestions, events that look interesting to me - and I think him - in the next bit. I can't remember using the words 'how about...' or 'would you like to join me?' per se, and I think this is where I fail (among others).


Maybe you should (gasp!) give him your phone number and say "give me a call sometime". Y'know, something to let him know you are actually interested in him other than running into him at the salsa club and having casual conversation?
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 35
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/2/2011 11:57:02 PM
Elaborate... why don't you give me a call sometime SOON. It would be fun to meet up again.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 36
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/3/2011 6:15:08 AM

If he was indeed interested, wouldn't he then say: 'sounds great! I'd love that!' or alternately 'I have plans those days but how about...'?


I think the OP is a victim of her own actions and attitudes. There are some women that want men to practically kiss their toes, to throw themselves at them. They expect the men to do all the approaching, all the movements forward. Those women, many times end up frustrated. Why, because the men that do what they want, they do not respect in an emotionally intimate way, and the men that they desire and wished did all this bending forwards and backwards would not put up with that.

I believe relationships are about give and take. Women can approach men as well as men women. In the past, I have been approached by women, and have approached women myself. But I believe in the two steps forwards, one step back. In the step back the woman HAS to react, has to show interest, if she doesn't I personally more on.

It's like closing a sale. If you ram the information to the prospect and pressure them to buy, they will not and if they do, will not be happy. If you asked them about how the feel about the product, would they use it, would they like it, and THEY in their own words tell you. The will close themselves.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 37
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/3/2011 6:23:09 AM
I'm not a guy, but if I asked somebody "When can I see you again?" and that person responded by telling me about how busy they are and the specific events they have planned, in other words about all the times when they are NOT available, I would assume that they are not interested in getting together with me.

The question "When can I see you again?" in my view is designed to find out when you are FREE to see them.

If a man asked me this and I were interested in seeing him again, I would respond by giving him a few specific dates when I was available and showing some enthusiasm about seeing him again, too.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 38
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/3/2011 7:02:26 AM

These days, I am a full believer in ""I want to see you again...how about Friday?""


I agree with boondock. I think it's lame for a man to ask: "When can I see you again?" I'd be inclined to reply with an equally lame response: "Whenever you get around to asking me out."
 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 39
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/3/2011 2:41:44 PM
It means: "This date appears to be winding down and I'd like you to invite me up to see your etchings." "NOW!"
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 40
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/3/2011 2:58:41 PM

I agree with boondock. I think it's lame for a man to ask: "When can I see you again?" I'd be inclined to reply with an equally lame response: "Whenever you get around to asking me out."

i agree the more clear and specific the date request is, the better everyone is served. but is it not clear the guy wants a date and is seeking scheduling information? if it's me asking and and such tiny word choice issues cause her to huff, we clearly are not a match. too brittle.
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 41
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/3/2011 3:25:14 PM
well i know for certain women can use this line and have no intention of meaning it,

doesn't matter what their age, so everytime i walk away from a first meeting i have absolutely no expectations.

i really just go with the flow.


i suppose its a line anyone who isn't very direct and upfront might use on people they aren't too fussed with.
good way to avoid conflict sometimes. i think women can use this line often as i've experienced because they aren't as direct as men usually and more submissive. guys can be very demanding and possessive among other things.

not sayin that's me LOL.
 gardenias2
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 42
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/4/2011 12:40:15 PM
OP you have lived a sheltered life......lucky you! i was very shy as a teenager and young adult. when i finally broke out of it, i had a blast dating and figuring out guys.....go have some fun! men can be quite wonderful
 ChillinChill
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 43
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/4/2011 1:52:21 PM
""Have you asked the title question before and what did you really mean by it?""

I have and I meant that I wanted to see that person again.

"""Or alternately, if you've been asked, how did you interpret it....""

When I was asked I interpreted it as the man wanted to see me again.

"""and what came of it"""

When I was interested I accepted the invite and I saw him again.

This is not rocket science
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 44
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/4/2011 9:51:27 PM
I think your way overanalyzing this take it at face value.
Tell him what nights you have free and let him finish the conversation.
Guys don't ask when can they see you again out of politness it just doesn't happen.
Why would anyone ask that out of politeness, most people would just say see you around.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 45
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/6/2011 4:30:52 AM
If you arent even going to give the guy your number so he can call you to make plans, then how can he be expected to believe that you want to see him again??
 vita_bella
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 46
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/7/2011 9:18:41 AM

If you arent even going to give the guy your number so he can call you to make plans, then how can he be expected to believe that you want to see him again??


He didn't ask for it and it didn't dawn on me to offer it before but I will from now on. I used to only give my number out when specifically asked, but I'll try to be bolder going forward.

Thank you all for the responses.

I consider it asked and answered at this point so no need to iterate further.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 47
view profile
History
'when can I see you again?'
Posted: 2/7/2011 12:43:56 PM
Answer " I am free on {{insert day/date}}... why don't you give me a call and we will set something up"....

If he calls to set up great... if he doesn't you make other plans.....

simple....
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > 'when can I see you again?'