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 SylverBansidhe
Joined: 4/24/2011
Msg: 26
phone sex/sexting before meeting someonePage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
This is the first time I've heard of "sexting." Wow, I must be getting old!

If you "sext" be prepared that the a great first meeting or an absolute failure. If there aren't any sparks it is made so much worse if you've exchanged explicit message. If she isn't into you, she will be embarrassed and not sure how to let you down especially after the intimate moments that you have shared.

I have "sexted" done the whole phone sex thing. While it is fun, it is also just a fantasy and makes it hard to transition to reality. Compound that with first meeting jitters and you've got a very emotionally charged meeting. BTW, it doesn't make starting the relationship that much easier, usually it's often harder as some things just don't make the transition.

If you're not wanting a relationship, then I don't see the problem. It's the safest sex around. If you do... there will be pitfalls.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 27
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 6/28/2011 8:22:20 AM
Hopefully, you know what she looks like and are in a semi-parallel with minor things ...like music, food, politics, etc.....
If all that balances-out...Go For It..!!
Whether FWB or a genuine exclusive relationship...It couldn't Hoit!!
 Tia_Smiles
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 28
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 6/28/2011 8:34:27 AM
so long as you are very clear what your intentions are and she has a similar desire there is nothing wrong with sexting, just be sure you're absolutely positive she's over 18 or you could get hit up with child pornography charges, which may make meeting in person first a better option if you have any room to doubt it.
 GFD150
Joined: 8/2/2010
Msg: 29
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/4/2011 11:17:14 PM
I would rather have hot sex to lol
 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 30
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/5/2011 7:53:15 AM
It's not that I wont meet someone without knowing what they are like sexually....but it can be convenient to know before you meet someone what they are into sexually, and just have a general idea about their sexual mindset ahead of time. If one person is a vanilla bean and the other puts the K in Kinkster...then doesn't it save alot of trouble, if they get into some sexting before they meet? Or at least some open talk about their sexuality? I think it's a practical thing to do, and I'm a practical kind of girl.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 31
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/5/2011 8:12:10 AM


The percent of teenagers who have sent or posted nude or semi-nude pictures or video of themselves:

20% of teenagers overall
22% of teen girls
18% of teen boys
11% of young teen girls ages 13-16

The percent of teenagers sending or posting sexually suggestive messages:

39% of all teenagers
37% of teen girls
40% of teen boys


This has been going on for several years, nothing new about it.
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 32
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/5/2011 10:39:59 AM
It seems a few of the women I have met in the past have always seemed to bring this up before I would, never real graphic but a general idea.
 Miniadventure
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 33
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/5/2011 11:35:45 AM
Depends how far it goes I guess, a bit of flirting is one thing but fullon sexting when you haven't even met could be a tad weird when you actually meet unless its just a meet for sex.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 34
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/5/2011 2:30:20 PM
A frank, honest phone conversation would be best for both....
I'm still friends with a terrific Canadian lady that openly chatted with me on the phone...several times.
I got fairly ~worked-up~ about meeting her....
I was that {*} far from planning a trip there to meet her...till I discovered several added expenses I hadn't anticipated...
We're still good friends...without yet actually meeting...eventhough she's found a wonderful, local guy...
~C'est-la-vie' ~
 recreator611
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 35
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/8/2011 4:25:15 PM
Other than some obvious questions....I see it as a waste of time unless its your kink...have no desire to fatasize over a phone...ohhh its happened only once and I found myself on the floor laughing as the woman on the other end was playing with her toy....Ima sight,see and touch kinda guy...everyone to their own I geuss!
 Singlegal89
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 36
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/8/2011 8:32:07 PM
I did the sexting before meeting someone..turned out great! Granted,we broke up weeks later,but we still sext
 polecat75
Joined: 3/7/2011
Msg: 37
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/10/2011 3:51:11 PM
So you want friends with benefits, ie sex.
And you are experiencing confusion as regards sexting.

God help you
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 38
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 1/3/2012 10:30:56 AM
"i feel like this could end up as a phonesex/sexting fling, but i dont want that...
does sexting a person before meeting them for the first time ruin the flirting and romance?"

honestly, i do not know why people would have phone sex with someone that is not their significant other.

"i'm not looking for a relationship either, rather just a friends with benefits situation, so would sexting rather help me, or will it more like kill the sexual anticipation...any advice please? and have you ever met up with someone after you sexted them?"

i honestly don't know what to say to this. why is it that women go along with this whole fwb type of relationship? this is the type of relationship that benefits the man. this is being used for sex and sex only. if a man wants a fwb with you, he's telling you that you aren't good enough to have a relationship with, but your are good enough to screw. at this point, if a woman had any self respect, she'd say, "leave $500.00 on the night stand when you leave." at least then the woman would be getting something out of it.

sheeesh!
 ted61
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 39
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 1/4/2012 7:10:58 AM
This is a type of relationship that benefits the man? "At least the woman would be getting something out of it? Honey, are U aware that some women, good looking women, use male "escorts" and pay THEM?

This may come as a shock to you, but some women actually want and actively seek a FWB relationship. Who does that benefit?

You know the old line, He who is .................cast the first stone.
 Full_of_Grace67
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 40
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 1/4/2012 7:36:59 AM
Right on Ted, jeez....While in transition from one relationship to the next possible one, sometimes men AND women just need a release that has nothing to do with love....Just because SOME men like the idea of sex w/out commitment doesn't mean SOME women don't too.

For me it's about being comfortable with a friend w/out all the nerves, drama and machinations that go along with dating, SOMETIMES.

Sounds like Larissan is just very old fashioned, which is fine and she is certainly entitled to her opinions, as long as she doesn't criticize or force them on others...

OP, I think it's fun to do that! It's hot and keeps you in the zone when you are alone. I think it builds the anticipation and because it's not sex IRL, it makes the meet so much more exciting! If you aren't compatible when you meet, so be it, but if you feel good while you're doing it, what's the harm? And like one poster said, it's the safest sex around! LOL

Igor: He knows her so it's not a man or computer he is communicating with.

"About a week ago, i started messaging the girl on fb, my friend used to date (a long time ago, and he gave me consent)"
 vixxxy
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 41
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:08:01 AM
if you are only look for friend with benefits, i think the sexting will help you. but keep in mind that you are talking to a girl, and girls think different. i can give myself as an example.. i had a two year relationship with a guy i met online, and our relationship began with sex talk. so i get into this relationship, and because girls can't be sexual without being thought of in a vulgar manner only, and because my first impression was sex toy, i got cheated on a million times. just saying if your going to be friends with benefits you should somewhat care for her, because that is different then a one night stand. make it clear to her you want no relationship, because girls can be just as bad as guys with putting sex first. think about her as well, not just yourself of getting lucky. someone will get hurt.
 jery9876
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 42
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 1/5/2012 12:12:36 AM
hot hot hot post with amazing pics how are u pretty lady?
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 43
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 1/5/2012 12:35:12 AM
One of the WORST things that Facebook has brought about is random texts from 'friends' you have on your list from where you knew them in high school, at an old job or whatever, and all of a sudden out of nowhere they pop up asking you 'Hey pretty lady, how are you?' Where are you living now? Can I come by and see you sometime?'
These men are 99% of the time married or in relationships. 100% of them have NOT read my page, because it clearly says I am engaged and where I live now. I also have a picture of me and my fiance AS MY PROFILE PICTURE!!!! How frikken stupid do you have to be to not understand that I am NOT AVAILABLE????

OK, so once you get past their obvious idiocy regarding me as a viable candidate for a fling, you then just have to shake your head at how BAD these texts are at attempting to lure someone into a one night stand or whatever. Having a dude text 'I've always thought you had the best ass in our class, and your tits look yummy' just doesn't make me think 'Oh, he's my knight in shining armour!!!' It honestly makes me laugh at how stupid it is! My UPS man decided last night at 11PM was the time to make his move, for some unknown reason. The texts were so ridiculous that I felt it necessary to share them with a couple of friends and we had a good laugh! The worst of it all is he has a really nice girlfriend that we all know, and he has a reputation for making stops on his route here in town and banging some really skanky women. I was insulted that he thought he could even have a shot with me, and then in some weird way flattered that he was trying so hard...even if he is an idiot.

If a man wants to have a fling with a woman, call her. Don't put it in an im or text or email. If you are trying to get in someone's pants, have the balls to speak to them, not type. Just remember that anything you write that is stupid can be saved and shared forever!!!!
 Full_of_Grace67
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 44
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 1/5/2012 4:13:15 AM
Vixxxy - "because girls can't be sexual without being thought of in a vulgar manner only, and because my first impression was sex toy, i got cheated on a million times"

Say WHAT?? It would take me waaaay too long to tell you what's offensive about that entire post so I'll just touch on that paragraph...

I beg to differ that girls/women/ladies can't be sexual without being thought of as "vulgar". It's all in the way you present yourself. I imagine when your profile shows you in the classic "duck face" pose, on your bed in your "Daisy Dukes" that may come accross as vulgar, but be careful making generalizations about women like that....

Same with you coming across as a "sex toy". Change your image, change your outcome....

***Jery9876*** Put your eyes back in your head perv & take it outside
 Cowboybt5
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 45
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/7/2012 6:44:53 AM
Vixxxy, I have to agree with PetyGrace. I think you jump to a flase assumption about exchanging sexual ideas and painting a negative picture of a woman.

I'm surprised at all of the negative coments about sexting. Not sugesting that more people should do it but rather with the attitude and the negativity towards it. The greatest way to stimulate a person sexually is to first stimulate their mind. Once you unlock the fantasies and desires of the mind the height of sexual arrousal can be unlimites. That's not sugesting that you have to follow through with all of the fantasies, afterall, some fantasies are just that, fantasies. But unleashing the thoughts and desires and sharing them can be quite intimate and arrousing. I think this can hold true when whispering and talking "dirty" to each other in the bedroom, or by some other means.
 dcb5212
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 46
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phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/24/2012 11:30:40 PM
Yea, I guess phone sex would be okay, BUT there is nothing like human touch. I crave that with my lover. Intimacy, touch, looking into each others eyes, holding hands during sex.....its so much more than simply getting off over the phone.
 aceof718
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 47
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/26/2012 1:59:39 AM
thats sexy i mean its a turn on
 onewayoranuther
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 48
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/26/2012 9:32:44 PM

Sexting before meeting doesn't really affect anything but the magnitude of the disappointment/excitement when you meet in person. If there's mutual attraction when you meet, your meeting will be hot. If there's no mutual attraction, the meeting will be a real dud.


I concur.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 49
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/26/2012 11:28:56 PM
I agree, what is it with all the texting? I would not find that a turn on at all. I need to hear a voice at the very least. But then I am of the older generation. All too robotic for me. I would not sext with anyone I had serious intentions of meeting until I knew who I was actually dealing with. Dont get it.
 good guy 41
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 50
phone sex/sexting before meeting someone
Posted: 7/27/2012 12:23:17 AM
i love pic and sex chat before we meet shows them what they like . one bad thing about it is this i text some one told them i only had 5 inch when solid she started to think what a waste of time so i sent her a pic of it and when she seen it was 9 inch she wanted to meet. now this is some one looking for long term not sex funny really
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