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 AUTHOR
 *Bulldog*
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 26
Relationships with Bartenders and WaitressPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Are these bars or restaurants? A guy who is married doesn't need to go to a bar to get a good atmosphere, food, and watch a game. He can get that at most restaurants.

A bar adds alcohol, women, (and apparently, gossip).. why is he putting these temptations in front of him? He's exercising very poor judgment. Also, it doesn't sound like he respects you if you've expressed your (legitimate) concerns about it, and he's not changing his behavior. You don't honor your wife in this way.

You probably have a lot of issues in your relationship, and this is probably just a symptom of a larger problem. Both of you have things you need to sort out and you should probably seek counseling, asap.
 NiceKindaWay
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 27
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/9/2011 10:23:01 PM
They are Sports bars and also restaurants together.

His bud is the one who tries to pick up all the bartenders and waitress. So like someone here mentioned, he can sit and read or he can go with his pal to watch the games. He isn't after the women, the women are after him.

Normally it wouldn't have been a big deal to wait and talk to him till morning. I get calls and texts all day long from him. That night was very important that I talked to him.

I don't think an emergency 911 call for a shrink has quite come to that though :)
 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 28
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/9/2011 10:27:29 PM
Here's my situation:

My husband and his friends travel for work. They visit alot of bars for dinner and drinks at the end of the day. All of the guys are single except my husband.

I can name about 6 instances where he's had a battery " die " on his cell phone.

The last place they have been working at is going on 5 weeks now. Every night I call I hear the bartenders in the background talking to the guys. The other night I could hear 2. Both women. I ask who's all at the bar and it's just my husband and his friend. They need 2 bartenders for 2 customers??? The guys say they have been there like 20 times and my husband is always VERY nervous and trys to rush me off the phone when I can hear the girls in the background.

So he turns his phone off the other night after saying he was leaving at 10:30pm. 12:45am it comes back on. I was pissed. I ask him how late he stayed out ( he has to work at 3:30 am ) at first it was 11 then 11:30... So I thought screw it I'll call the bar..

I call and ask if the guys had been in and they said yes. I asked if they knew how late they were there. They put me on hold and a waitress gets on the phone. She says " Hello" I say "hello" She says "You must be so and so's wife" Huh????

So I'm mad that he didn't leave when he said, he lied about his phone being dead ( again ) and that the waitress knew enough to answer the phone like that.....


You are changing the story. Now he is not chasing the women, those 'slutty' bartender girls are all after him.....And you didn't call the bar because you were pissed off he lied about how late he stayed out, and you were checking up on him. Now it's because there was an emergency situation at home.

You say your original question was how to deal with bartenders who are after your husband. Well, I have answered it but will again. It is far, far more likely that female customers in the bar are after your husband. The staff are polite, friendly, maybe even flirty, but not sluts who will bed a different guy every night, which seems to be your assumption about bartenders and bar maids. Also, you husband may be very attractive to you, but he might not be so attractive to others.
 NiceKindaWay
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 29
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/9/2011 10:38:53 PM
Not that I have to explain anything to you but I never said he was chasing the women. And yes I was very upset he didn't call and I couldn't contact him. His bud who is *supposed* to be seeing my friend sent her a text after 11. If he was with him up till that point he could have used his phone to call home. The bar confirmed they were there.

Normally I don't give a rats ass about him going out. Like I said, they have been there over 20 times. However this night was a situation that needed addressed ASAP.
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 30
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/9/2011 10:54:03 PM
Your husband has to work at 3:30 am and he's in a bar until late? Wow, I would think he would want to get some shut eye....that is extremely early to start work!

In my young days when I was on a billard league and played every Thursday at my local hick hole, I seen tons of men working in the area who were out of towners. I can assure you that the bar staff had no interest in these guys but there were a few good ol' local gals who were lol.

Listen to the other posters that said that bar workers aren't going to be the problem.

I realize that if someone wants to be unfaithful it doesn't take a lounge or bar, but isn't that a good place to start one?
 ChillinChill
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 31
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 12:40:35 AM
OP I read your update. No matter how you slant this the issues of trust still remains.

You can make a decision to trust your husband or you can drive yourself crazy for lack there of it. I wouldn't. If I thought my husband was a lowlife scumbag chasing skirt and f&Cken around at a bar I would LEAVE HIM.

In essence that is what you are presenting here... that your husband is a doGG.. Bow Wow. Is that what YOU want to believe about him?
 oaklandish
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 32
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 12:55:28 AM
OP- Your first post sounded VERY different than the one at 9:27 tonight... You talked about hearing people in the back ground every night when you called in the first post; then you say you only called once when you needed to reach him in the second post....

What ever......Bartenders do a lot of listening. Your husband may also advised her that there would be a call from his wife so she acknowledged who you were when you called. You flip flopped a bit.....Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to judge...you were p.o.d at your husband in the first post then very defensive of him in the second.....so saying it was about bartenders and waitresses is being is a little disingenuous.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 33
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 4:11:58 AM
What ever......Bartenders do a lot of listening. Your husband may also advised her that there would be a call from his wife so she acknowledged who you were when you called. You flip flopped a bit.....Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to judge...you were p.o.d at your husband in the first post then very defensive of him in the second.....so saying it was about bartenders and waitresses is being is a little disingenuous.


Bartenders & Waitresses get better tips if they're friendly, listen, etc - its to their advantage to be pleasant to a customer. The title of this thread is really misleading, just because a bartender/waitress is being 'friendly' doesn't mean they're hitting on them, they're most likely hoping it nets them more tip money.

What I find interesting, OP, is that you sit here complaining that his "battery died" several times, he's shut his cell phone off, etc... and then you call the bar, and the waitress knows he has a wife - realistically, he's probably said "its my wife" a bunch of times with his cell, and then you called the bar because his cell phone was off... you sound tremendously insecure about this relationship. Someone who is going to cheat usually doesn't announce he's got a wife at home.

Honestly, the bartender is probably thinking by this point he's married to a psycho who has to "keep tabs" on him all the time, rather than someone who is secure in the relationship, and if it were me and I was shutting my phone off, quite honestly, it would because its starting to feel like you're insecurely trying to keep 'tabs' on me. It'd make me re-think being in the relationship, quite honestly, if it was an ongoing thing.

You either trust, or you don't... neither will stop someone from cheating on you *if they want to cheat*. But I'll tell you, if you don't trust him, and are going to hound him trying to keep tabs on where/what he's doing all the time, it doesn't bode well for the marriage. A healthy relationship is a trusting relationship.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 34
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 4:26:22 AM
And your not embarrassed at all for calling the poor guy over and over so much that the bartenders know ya? They are probably dieing laughing every time the poor guys phone rings again.

Quit worrying about bartenders and look at yourself here. You are going to drive this guy away.

You called a bar the next day and asked the bartender what time he left? Are you friggin kiddin me? You would be history if I was him. He is not in kindergarten.

You have serious trust issues. He works out of town a LOT. The only future I see for you two is a sad one. Hopefully you will get some counseling before you go postal one day.

Relationships are built on trust. So yours has no foundation basicaly.
Cowboy
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 35
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 5:53:25 AM

Relationships are built on trust.

That's a nice slogan, but trust is built upon behaving in trustworthy fashion and in my opinion, the OPs husband is not behaving in a way that inspires trust. To the best I can tell, what most people call trust, I'd call naivete or just plain stupidity. I have yet to hear a story from someone who was cheated on for very long and who didn't realize it for very long without wondering how that person could have not known, long before he/she did know.
 GirlyMuscle
Joined: 3/4/2011
Msg: 36
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 6:13:59 AM
I bartend for a living and do very well at it. And yes, there are times when 2 bartenders are needed if you want to make sure there is excellent customer service and you have a bunch of servers who needs drinks as well as 150 other customers sitting or standing at the bar. I think the deal here is bartender or not, maybe your husband is just not honest !!! Do not blame it on the bartenders . Hell, he can be picking up women drinking at the bar !!! I am friendly and fun with customers, it is how I make a lot of money. You think we make money by not smiling or being social? Most bartenders I know and some I work with, we all joke at the end of the night about the crap that goes on. Now, I will say, we see more people hook up who are drinking at the bar than we do employees leaving with customers...just saying. I find it odd a bartender or waitress would say that on the phone, who knows who it was or where it was. But the bottom line here is there is some serious trust issues and you may have a good reason not to trust him, but it is not because of a bartender, he probably will see any other woman if he is a cheater and away from home etc. On rare occasion we have had wives even husbands call the bar and all I ever say is they are there or not there. Not getting in the middle of that crap. Next thing you know people start showing up and creating issues that really need to be talked about at home; or in Counseling. I do hoe you are able to speak to him and get this resolved whatever it is. One thing I know being in the bar business; or any other business. Cheating is Cheating and it doesn't matter what the profession is !
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 37
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 6:28:11 AM
That's a nice slogan, but trust is built upon behaving in trustworthy fashion and in my opinion, the OPs husband is not behaving in a way that inspires trust.


Which boils down to the same outcome - an unhealthy and probably "over" relationship.


I have yet to hear a story from someone who was cheated on for very long and who didn't realize it for very long without wondering how that person could have not known, long before he/she did know.


Usually someone "knows" something is wrong/changed, before they might know the "details", agreed. Been there, done that, I trusted her implicitly, but the last few months "something" had changed, that I couldn't "put my finger on"... until I found out she was cheating.

But *either*, not being trustworthy, or "lacking trust" with someone who has given you no reason to not trust them, is the death-knoll of a healthy relationship. The OP is on here with a profile saying she's married looking for "hang out"... one has to wonder just how "trustworthy" that would indicate her to be. Is it really *that* hard to go to the menu and pick "edit profile" and change it?

I'm reminded of that same ex, slamming me for commenting that one of her friends was "I dunno, seems nice, intelligent, kinda cute in her own way, surprised she's single, she'd make a good 'catch' for some guy" (first time I ever met her, the now-ex asked what I thought of her, it was an honest matter-of-fact opinion)... she slammed me with "maybe you should date her then!" - of course, from what I know now *she* was probably cheating on me (or moving that way) then... was I being "untrustworthy" (never cheated in my life), or what she *projecting* that on me because *she* was being untrustworthy? Lack of "trust" can often come from projecting *your* thoughts on the other person - ie, you are thinking about others, so they *must* be too? I've known a lot of people who were being accused of cheating - while their partner was pretty much "laying everything but the trans-Atlantic cable". It takes the "focus" off what they are doing.
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 7:16:00 AM
OP - your posts baffle me.

What exactly is your concern?


And I did find out why she answered that way. My husband made it perfectly clear he has a wife at home. So a little sour grapes on her part maybe. Hasn't stopped the pack from trying to land one of the other guys.


This thread sounds like you are worried that Bartenders and Waitresses are trying to solicit your husband for sex.
Is this right?
If it is, my goodness YOU have some issues that you better start addressing, or your marriage is NOT going to survive.

TRUST is of the utmost importance.
Either you trust your husband or you don't.

You can't blame others for your lack of trust in him.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 39
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 7:18:20 AM

That's a nice slogan, but trust is built upon behaving in trustworthy fashion and in my opinion, the OPs husband is not behaving in a way that inspires trust


He is on the road and drinking in a bar at night with friends. Sorry I worked a LONG time with extended travel. Drank in the hotel bar and never screwed around. Yes buddies with the bartenders (both sex's) The fact he turns off his phone when she is calling checking up on him is not an indication he is cheating to me. She is a pain in the butt calling over and over... As evidenced by her calling the bar asking when he left?

Why would a bartender know he was married and his wife was calling? Because they experienced it first hand over and over with her calling repeatedly.

bartenders are the LEAST of her worries... if you want to cheat you cheat. It is about morals not professions.

Cowboy
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 40
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 7:21:08 AM
My question is more like this - Why do people who work in a bar think it's their right to be nosey with every person that comes in.

One can't be nosey with someone that isn't willing to disclose their personal information. He's apparently talking back when being talked to.

And I did find out why she answered that way. My husband made it perfectly clear he has a wife at home. So a little sour grapes on her part maybe. Hasn't stopped the pack from trying to land one of the other guys.

She's likely heard a MUCH different story than you are being told. Very likely innocent in nature, but different nonetheless.

Not once have I called to check up on him other than this night. I had an issue at home that I needed him for. So it wasn't even checking up, it was urgent.

Hmmm ~ how did you know his phone has lost power 6-8 times in the past if you aren't calling him?

~OP~ Honestly? This is just silly. To change your profile, try the "edit" button. To have faith in your husband? Well, I don't know the answer to that because I don't live in your house. I'd suggest you talk to him and be honest. You obviously have serious thoughts/feelings about his activities. And whether or not you think so, you'll slowly but surely make him crazy and NOT want to talk if you keep on with the negativity. JMO
 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 41
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 7:55:28 AM
Tell me where this bar is where the bartenders hook up with the customers. I want to go there! Every time I've been attracted to a bartender and hit on her, all that happened is she would become uncomfortable. The bartenders job is to be friendly to customers; if the bartender is an attractive female, more likely than not she'll be INNOCENTLY flirting a bit with customers--it generally works in their favor with tips.

Clearly the bartenders and waitresses your husband encounters while he is on his business road trips is not the problem here. I can't see why you would worry more about the bartenders than you would be worrying about the female barflys--is this guy dressed to the nines 24/7, some Fabian stud, or hung like a racehorse?

The bigger problem is your lack of trust with this guy. If you can't have a rational discussion with your partner about this sort of stuff when they are home, I'd say your relationship is either hopeless or riddled with problems. This guy MIGHT be a cheating rat bastard, but I don't know him--but from what I've read from the OP in this thread, if I were married to an overprotective paranoid woman, I certainly would appreciate some away time from her. It's no wonder when his cell phone "dies" on him.
 kayla1963
Joined: 4/1/2011
Msg: 42
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 7:58:58 AM
Msg 27: His bud is the one who tries to pick up all the bartenders and waitress.


Msg 29: His bud who is *supposed* to be seeing my friend sent her a text after 11.


This is very revealing.

Your girlfriend is dating your hubby's workmate/"bud." They travel for business together.

Did you set your friend up with the "bud?"

Do you feel responsible for ensuring that the "bud" (and your hubby) are toeing the line?

Are your friend and you tag-teaming to keep tabs on your men?

Do you compare notes? [The "bud" sent your friend a text after 11pm.]

The latest posts seem a tad defensive. I think that is because you realize you are part of a high school conundrum. You need to quit ganging up on the boys with your girlfriend. Grow up.

 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 43
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 8:16:16 AM

Why do people who work in a bar think it's their right to be nosey with every person that comes in.


I don't know how often you get out but people in the customer service industry make it a point to be friendly - it is part of their job.

I have been to some establishments where the friendlyness bordered on pushy but that is usually just part of the management style of the establishment. If you feel that an employee of a bar or a hotel knows a little too much about your husband in this way I suggest you learn to lightly up a bit as it is part of thier job to be informed about the customer.
 ChillinChill
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 44
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 12:00:36 PM
^^^Oh Geeeezzzus I missed that lil tidbit in msg.29. I read 27. I see. Now it's crystal clear. You have a co-conspirator. Your friend. HA. OK. I GET IT. Ha ha.

""His bud who is *supposed* to be seeing my friend sent her a text after 11.""

Misery enjoys company. It's true. You gals are having a drama fest. Oh my God, why don't you just watch Days of our Lives or Until the Stomach Turns... or better yet, Jerry Springer.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 45
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 12:39:36 PM
He is on the road and drinking in a bar at night with friends.

Well, I don't consider that proper behaviour for someone who isn't single.

The fact he turns off his phone when she is calling checking up on him is not an indication he is cheating to me.

Well, she could always wait for him to take photos and show her the photos. I personally wouldn't wait that long before suspecting something was up.

bartenders are the LEAST of her worries...

I didn't say that she should worry about the bartenders (or waitresses).

if you want to cheat you cheat. It is about morals not professions.

Right, which is why I'd wonder about someone who spends every evening on the road in clubs instead of doing something a little more productive.
 gardenias2
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 46
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 12:55:57 PM
about 10 yrs ago i waited tables in the finest and busiest restaurant/bar in town, a small town. not sure why i was hired other than i am competent and honest. the normal criterion was how good looking and wild the girls could be. it worked the place was packed every night, although my co-workers tried to be discreet about their actions, nymphomaniacs can do wonders for your business.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 47
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 2:03:46 PM
Your question was answered, you just don't like the majority of the answers because you want to bytch and call and nag and blame other women for what you think your husband might be up to and you can't have all this drama if you take the answers and get a grip. Some people who work in these places will be going back to your husband's/his buddies' room if they 'hit it off' but most won't, most just want closing time to come and pain-in-the-ass flirts to leave so they can go home. They work for pay, not to get laid. The few who work in these places to meet men/women aren't going to make your husband cheat, that's always going to be his choice, he's either a cheater or he's not. He's your problem, trust me, tired people trying to do their job don't want to have to entertain your husband's needs, they don't give a crap about his 'story', they are being nice & friendly for tips and to keep their job. They aren't nosy, good gawd can you imagine how many men on the road they have to listen to, how many nagging wives they have to speak to? Your husband cheats or he doesn't, which one do you really think it is? That's your issue, not a single other person in the world but you needs to worry about your husband's fidelity.



I don't think an emergency 911 call for a shrink has quite come to that though :)


This is really ridiculous, you are so worked up about what your husband is up to that you are blaming workers in places he goes to, his buddies, people who have to answer the phone when you call...but you aren't bothered enough to talk to a therapist? Your posts are very transparent, as you can tell my 90+% of the answers. Your marriage is huge drama, you don't trust your husband and like most who want to stay in a marriage even if it's bad, you then blame everyone but you and your husband for the problems. Do you see how this looks to those reading your posts? You can backtrack and change up your story all you want, but the first post is right there, one of the reasons you can't change it after 15 mins. so you don't take out all the info you no longer want the readers to see so you don't have to face reality.

You know full well that your husband made it clear that you call all the time to check up on him and will keep calling and will call to see when he left, etc. And his buddies all make comments when you call and call and call. The bartenders/waitresses don't really care one way or the other if you call him all the time, they just stand there having to listen to him go on about it, and since they are required to answer the company phone when you call, they tell you whatever he said to tell you, or they get rid of you as soon as possible. He's not their responsibility, he's just a guy who shows up every night (apparently) to drink and talk to women who are working, and it would seem, to find ways to not answer the phone when you call. Now tell me, how is that the fault of other women? Why isn't that an issue between you and him and why does it make you feel better about your marriage to blame this women who have nothing to do with your marriage?
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 48
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 2:11:36 PM
OP: Are there any reason(s) for you to doubt your husband while he's on business trips? i.e. cheated before, etc.......

Bartenders do talk to their clientele; that's no surprise. Your hubby may get nervous because he knows how you may react if you hear women's voices in the background.

You called the bar to check on him? Oh my! You're mad because he left later? Does he have a curfew? He's a BIG BOY; why these behaviors from you?

How do you know his cell battery didn't die out? So the waitress knows your hubby is married; why are you mad about that?

If you have to go through all this to keep tabs on your husband; you may push him to do something he may very well not be doing.


EDIT:

I was told to call the bar by my husband - How else would I have known where they were.

My question is more like this - Why do people who work in a bar think it's their right to be nosey with every person that comes in.

And I did find out why she answered that way. My husband made it perfectly clear he has a wife at home. So a little sour grapes on her part maybe. Hasn't stopped the pack from trying to land one of the other guys.

Not once have I called to check up on him other than this night. I had an issue at home that I needed him for. So it wasn't even checking up, it was urgent.

I hope some of you never have a question that needs answered.




Just caught up with your updates; bartenders, hair stylists, etc...usually build a rapport with their clientele and more times then not talk about many things. Particularly if alcohol is in the equation. You tend to start rattling off......diarrhea of the mouth! Yanno? lol So it's not that they're being "nosey", but customer service. It behooves them to have that type of rapport w/their clientele ($$$).



 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 49
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 3:11:19 PM
He is on the road and drinking in a bar at night with friends.

Well, I don't consider that proper behaviour for someone who isn't single.


having a DRINK in a bar with people from work? Really now? Bizarre.


Well, she could always wait for him to take photos and show her the photos. I personally wouldn't wait that long before suspecting something was up.
You and the OP are meant for each other. All he was doing was having a drink in a bar.


Right, which is why I'd wonder about someone who spends every evening on the road in clubs instead of doing something a little more productive.
Again ridiculous assumptions and why you and the OP would be a great match.

She heard a bartender. No mention of every night out in clubs as your mind has somehow locked onto. I lived on the road in Hilton's and Marriott's with a restaurant and bar inside the hotel. We ate at Chilli's and Outback's etc.. that had BAR's and oh yeah a BARTENDER. No one said they were out at clubs they could of been in a nice sports bar for all you know. You assume the same as the OP it seems. Very active imagination just like her.

And no one was flirting or dating the bartenders or anyone else when we went out. Oh and yes no one as far as we know was according the OP here also. Remember that part? All figments of BOTH of your imaginations even with her weird update here.

We always had dinner out and drinks. Thats what you do on the road. And I would of been beyond embarrassed about my wife calling over and over checking up on me. I didn't cheat and no one ever thought I would. Trust is about morals and honesty NOT about getting drinks with friends on the road. If you are going to cheat you will. Bartenders are not the problem. Horn dogs are going to be horndogs. Just going to a bar does not make that a fact. Not even turning off your phone from you naggng wife that keeps calling over and over to check up on you.

Again you and the OP are a perfect match. To bad your not single as she is about to be.

match made in heaven

Cowboy
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 50
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/10/2011 3:52:57 PM
Wow OP, do you really need to check up on your husband several times just to make sure he is where he said he would be?


My SO travels frequently for work and is currently in Russia. He texts, emails or calls when he has a chance but I don't feel the need to call and see if he happens to be at the bar. A cheater will find a way to cheat whether you keep tabs on him or not. I trust my SO completely and I think you need to have trust in your husband or your constant nagging with push him away.

You may of had an emergency at home but the call to the bar was uncalled for AFTER you spoke with your husband.

carolann
I never felt a need to check up on him or get jealous. Traveling for your job is lonely and exhausting.
A person can cheat next door they don't need to be away. Either you cheat or you don't. The fact is you do not trust your husband and whether he is a dog or not, THAT is what is wrong with your relationship. Lack of trust is a killer, you sound like a royal pain in the ass he's probably embarrassed and it's easier not to talk to you on the phone. No one needs that kind of pressure and stress.




Paddy_o_Lantern
Some people are not cut out to have a partner who spends alot of time away from home. If takes a good deal of trust and independance to pull it off and be content. You need to find another hobby other than trying to catch your man in the act.


forums1
You either trust, or you don't... neither will stop someone from cheating on you *if they want to cheat*. But I'll tell you, if you don't trust him, and are going to hound him trying to keep tabs on where/what he's doing all the time, it doesn't bode well for the marriage. A healthy relationship is a trusting relationship.
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