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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/7/2006 11:08:29 PM | 
why must kids suffer for our selfish behaviours...sigh..breaks my heart to see this forum.
i envy anyone who has children...for i adore them ..most precious little creatures on this earth...i will never hear the words mom or nanna..in my life time...can you imagine that...it bothered me for years..but i am ok now with this for i am blessed with a great job i love very much..i work in schools..an i love all 185 kids i have now..anyone want me now.... i am jokin....but they all love me and thats what keeps me smiling every day...so your children are the highlight of my life....an no i am not a physco...lol...just a lovin woman who cherishes kids.  | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/8/2006 1:32:02 PM | Never have I read such poignant stories. My heart just aches for you dads who can't see, hug and kiss those kids of yours. It's sad and it's so very wrong. Kids need their dad's and that doesn't change no matter how old those kids are. My kids are 21 and 19 and their dad passed away 4 years ago. He never got the chance to experience the big moments... teaching them how to drive, getting that drivers license, graduation, loves and heartbreaks, career advice... he would have loved all of that. My kids truly miss out without a dad in their lives and I just can't imagine a mother taking that right away or making you fight tooth and nail for what is yours.
Enchant | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/8/2006 1:42:28 PM | Its hard yea you can ask any man going through that kind of thing. Its suprising that the strongest men in the world made out stone can be cracked with the knife called love.
A women who is an abuser towards her husband knows exaclty where to stick the knife and its with the guys kids. Somtimes its for the right reasons somtimes its for the wrong but make no mistake a cazy women is far more deadly then any other poison on this world. It all goes back to Eve and the apple. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/8/2006 8:09:09 PM | I went through hell and back along with my son. We missed each other dearly. There is always a silver lining in a dark cloud, you must seek it out, it is there. Stay positive, never falter and never give up on your kids! Stay focused as they are the most important thing you have and the only thing left. They are the only real victim. Regardless of what the ex has or has not done. I now have true joint custody. It took a lot of doing but we made it! & years later I have a great relationship with my Son and always have and a decent one with the ex.....
Yes I miss my Son even we I just had him for a few days....
Good luck to all!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/18/2006 7:59:35 PM | man all these stories of ex's dishing out the hate really sucks. i mean cant they see that all that they are doing is hurting the kids? i guess selfishness really can make someone blind. i feel for all the other men who want to be a part of their kids lives. my ex took off for six months without telling me during the separation. and her family didn't want me to know either. loo and behold when i got the papers six months later after she went poof with our daughter... it was with another man. anyways, she brought up a thing from MY past and used it in court and had the visitations supervised by her and her alone. what had happend in MY past had nothing to do with her and she left with my daughter about 1000 miles away. and to think she said"oh, i will never take your daughter away from you." yeah right. well i have found her after six years cause she had moved and she never gave me the new addy or phone number. and thanks to her little move my daughter didn't know me for all that time. now that i can move... i have gotten to see my daughter and she knows who i am. i am in the process of moving so that i can be closer to her and spend more time with her as i get established here. i will be consulting with fathers rights and also with a program here called the fair share program. cause i plan on being a big part in my daughters life. and my ex will never take my daughter away from me in anyway shape or form ever again. one day i hope to win custody or the max amount of time that i can have with my daughter. she is the reason for me moving and going on with my life. and my daughter will get to know my side of the family as well. my ex has it in her mind that all of my family will never get to see or have anything to do with my daughter. well we will see in court. i dont care.... if i have to sell my blood to raise money for a damm good lawyer to do it then by golly i will. whatever it takes. sorry.... just had to vent out a bit. REMEMBER GUYS...."FATHERS RIGHTS" LOOK THEM UP ON THE INTERNET. I HAVE AND WILL TALK TO THEM AGAIN.
oh yeah....also remember this... what comes around goes around. it's coming around for my ex. i just hope that whatever she is going through with the guy shes' with doesnt hurt my daughter, cause i will say or do something. here's a bit of info... for me GOD has been there for me all this time. if it wasnt for HIM i would have probably killed myself when i went into depression thinking i was a failure after the divorce. hang in there guys.... go to church, find a support group.. hang with the family, friends, or something to keep you all from doing anything stupid. trust me if you fall back into depression and start thinking those thoughts and act upon them...? who then will be a father to your kid(s)? think about that as well. i know i wasn't the only man here in this world to sink down and think that way. PEACE! | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/18/2006 10:17:23 PM | It breaks my heart to read about all these men that are trying so hard to be in their childrens lives. You should get together and try and knock some sense into those who are just able to walk away, and make it seem like its parent with custody's "problem" to deal with. I grew up not knowing my father at all. And it hurts, it really does. I have seen him in the city I live in, and he turns and walks away. Now, my son's father seems to be doing the same thing. *sigh* I only hope with time that that will improve, for my son's sake. Even though his father isn't the best man.. He is still his father. And yes, I am hurt and angered over everything he has done.. but that doesn't mean he isn't my son's father. I have fought and fought with him to try and bring him closer to his son, but everything seems to be my fault and my problem with him. *sigh* And now he only has supervised access with my son, because of the things he has done in his past. I don't think I could ever completely trust him with my son alone. But I feel comfortable letting him visit him under the supervision of someone trustworthy. Good luck to all of you in the battle of the visits with your children. In the end it will all work out the way it is supposed to.
Best wishes.
Matthews Mommy | |
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PA!GE®
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Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 85 | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 86 | |
| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/18/2006 10:37:53 PM | Dads..do you miss your children ?
every day. My ex let me drop by to play with her and read her some bedtime stories tonight :) | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/18/2006 10:39:54 PM | ack!!
I realise the incenserity of my post~ I apologize. Although, I do miss my daughter for this one night. Those fathers that want to be with their children..but cannot..deserve much respect | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 88 | |
| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/18/2006 10:49:37 PM | Not at all. In fact your post was very sincere! Cheers!
OT: When things are good with my ex its not all that bad because she gives me access to her when i want. I still miss tucking her in every night though. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/18/2006 10:56:44 PM | Rake-
From what I see of Your Posts You look like one hell of a Good Father
we moved almost 6 months ago and he hasnt even called her, not even on Xmas
Paige-
Sorry To read Your Post,what a dead beat Dad And hear I thought
all the cold fish were in the ocean,not even a call on Xmas | |
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PA!GE®
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Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 90 | |
| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/18/2006 11:33:06 PM | yes she hasnt received a gift, a card or a sober call or visit since her 9th bday in March 2004. Tho even then, tho he did give her a gift, the visit wasnt sober
We left Toronto almost 6 months ago and despite repeated calls to him to try to dscuss this with him, the messages were obviously never imp enough to return said call so I moved without ever discussing it with him
he has my address, phone # and email address. Nothing | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/18/2006 11:49:37 PM | After not seeing them for nearly a year...I finally Managed to give my eldest boy his present
on his 10th birthday personally.....he was quite emotional and hugged me...the younger boy seemed emotional and distant........my ex refused to let me give him his present inApril last year........this time around the babysitter has incurred her wrath for letting me see them...
she has left strict instructions not to let me see them....I suppose all I can do now is try...
until my divorce is finalized...and I get visitation rights. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/19/2006 12:48:54 AM | I usually get to see my son. Typically he wants to come with me so much that he will throw a complete fit if he doesn't get to so his mom lets him. Still it is not a rare occurance for her to call and tell me that he got in trouble at school and is grounded so he can't come see me her reasoning is he views visits with me as a reward. I miss him alot but what scares me the most is of late (since Thanksgiving) his step father has been becoming increasingly violent and has been berating, browbeating, threatening and even threw an table fan at my son. The drunk even called me one night and told me he delights in spanking my son until he screams. Needless to say I drove over there and the guy wouldnt even come out until the police arrived.
I have contacted DFS and they do nothing they even saw the hole in the wall from the fan being thrown and just shrug and say it isn't enough and then warn me that if they take my son he will be in the courts custody for at least a month as they evaluate even me for custody.
We wont even go into the other parts of the divorce and custody agreement she violates at will about information and/or contact. Sometimes I call and she or her husband will taunt me over the phone telling me they wont let me speak to him.
So yes I miss him just being around and it scares the living hell outta me that something is going to go down and I wont be able to get there or won't know about it. Having a son you are suppose to protect and who you can't is the worst feeling ever and the feeling of relief I have just having him under my roof is amazing.
And it is precisely games and power plays like my ex wife likes to pull that makes me so bitter about the way child support is handled today. If I pulled that money or if the government made her account for it this BS she pulls would stop fast. Instead I just pay her bar bill while my son runs around in worn out shoes and doesn't get to see me. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/19/2006 3:24:22 AM | | I wasn't allowed to see my son over the Christmas season. His grades had dropped, and mommy was punishing him. I've had a pile of presents sitting in my living room waiting for him, and this weekend he's coming up! YEAH!!! My boy's 12, and it means as much to him as it does to me. In addition, I have Saturday off this weekend, so we'll hang out, play video games, and talk. My ex has an alternate lifestyle (she's, uh, GAY) so he doesn't have male contact except for me, so I have to teach him guy stuff. I've had to answer some difficult questions about life, but I feel I've done as well as could be done. In my own defense, I've NEVER dissed my ex to his face, in spite of the fact that she left me for another woman, but the problem still exists; he doesn't understand WHY his mommy is gay. He seems to do much better after his visits with me. Mommy will usually call with a progress report a month after he's home. His grades go up, he gets along with her "girlfriend" better, and is more respectful in general to everyone. In HER defense, she takes good care of him. He just has a hard time dealing with her lifestyle. I DON"T get to see my 5 yr. old daughter. THAT mommy left because she "just wasn't happy". I haven't seen her since Mar. '04. I don't have anything good to say about that ex, and never will, so it's probably best that I don't get to see her. It's possible that in ten or fifteen years my daughter will show up on my steps, and I'll probably still have the same hatred for her mommy as I feel now. | |
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lemmyr
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Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 94 | |
| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/19/2006 5:06:59 AM | I went ten years with out seeing my daughter, I married my daughters mother so she would have her I wasn't given a choice by her mother it was marrage or she wasn't going to have her so I did it no boohoo's. When my daughter was born she was my entire life until her mother and me split she when she was 2, I tried until she was 4 to be as big apart of her life as I could but her mom had remarried same reasons oddly enough. It had never been easy to get Anja for vists up to that time her mom always had a excuse was always saying negetive things about me and Anja repeated them as soon as she could talk. I tried not to defend myself with my daughter I'd just say well as long as you like me who cares why toss a kid into hell just because her moms twisted and resentful. My own life was taking a few turns for the worse mistakingly figured well its best for all if I just fade away and I did few years latter papers came her step dad wanted to adupt her so I signed them that was that.
Ran into Anja on the Internet when she was 13, she was so happy to hear from me, her mother and step father had split her mother was not treating her well, I spoke to her mom and my ex who had caused so much heck was trying to talk me into returning but I am not stupid and basiclly told her thats just not going to happen. Things got worse with Anja and her mom and her mother kicked her out at age 14 had her stuck in a group home rather then let her come here took me till she was 15 to get her here and now well she came here a broken little thing now at 17 I have never seen a more happy little girl.
I guess the points I am making is never give up fighting for your child, people will all try and convince you there idea of whats right for you kid is the best but there wrong what's best for them is what makes them happy and they don't really care what there other parent says so don't play the slander mud slinging game. Your children will love you openly and honestly as long as you are always there for them. Even at the worse I was in my life and trust me I was a nightmare of a human at one time having heard my daughters growing up storeys I still would have been more of a parent then my exwife was she would have been better looked after and happier with me. The judge gives custady to who has the children not who is best for them its up to the parent to get over there poor broken heart and fight back for there childs sake. My daughter lived most of her life emotionaly abused because I wouldn't fight theres no good excuse for that. | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/19/2006 7:07:47 AM | | hey i havent seen my 2 girls in 8yrs it hard a hell i alway think of them it like im dead.they live 20 mile away and every time i try to call them i end up in shit with the law she lies to cop and i go to jail for thetening and shit they beleave that women from hell.shes in with that fn women group in sudbury where they learne how to realy **** a man up sorry but im fed up with it all . i have to pay 1800 a month and only clear 2400 or 25 how fare is that the juges suck in sudbury what do i do? | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/21/2006 7:23:52 PM | And just what could those reasons be?
It amazes me that my ex chooses not to see his kids. He seems to resent that they play sports and refuses to take them on weekends that they have tournaments.
He also doesn't allow them to see their friends when they are at his house. Is that normal? | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/21/2006 7:27:55 PM | | I miss my son every day, My ex wife wouldent allow me to see or speak to my child for 4 yrs. Because she was very hatefull towards me and my family. I see my son now he is 5 yrs old i get him once a week for 6 hrs and thats if she aint mad at me for something. If she gets a loopin her but im told not to pick him up, then she tells my son your daddy dont love you and he dosent want to see you. I know this because my son has told me so. I pay child support buy his cloths and give him the world. But i know she tells him things like that and at that age kids take it to heart. I cant get him to sleep over or anything. I try my best to be a great dad but i can see it in his eyes he would rather be at home with her. I know ill never have the relationship i want with my son and that hurts more then death itself. I tried the courts. I thought i could get custody because of his situation, She is 32 lives in a 2 bedroom apartment with her boyfriend (niegther of them work) along with her mom and dad. I have a carrer and my own home and plenty of love. But you guessed it we went to court and the judge still called me a dead beat. Any way for those dads who can have the relaitionship with thier kids charrish it i know if i could have it i would..... | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/21/2006 7:50:01 PM | | I COPE WITH NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE MY SON BY GOING PLCE THAT TAKE MY MIND OFF HIM OR GO PARK WHERE I CAN SEE HIM BUT HIS MOTHER CAN'T SEE ME I EVEN TRIEND TO GET A JOB AT HIS DAY CARE SO I COULD SEE HIM BUT THAT DIDN'T WORK EITHER BUT SHE WILL GET HERS IN THE ENDS FOR NOT LETTING ME SEE MY SON | |
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| Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 1/21/2006 9:24:37 PM | | I feel for anyone who is suffering because of a ex-spouse. I've been divorced just over 2 years. I pay $1000 a month in child support, and see my kids every other weekend. My ex wanted a totally stupid visitation setup intially, so when we went to court I asked for the standard. It's not good enough. I can never talk to my kids on the phone or see them outside visitation even though it's stipulated in the divorce papers that I should be offered every oppurtunity. The ex makes up lies to them about me that they tell me about. She has no reason to turn the kids against me except that she's a control freak. I could fill up a entire page here with the things she's done. It's EXTREMELY DIFFICULT not to play by her rules but I know it would only be the kids that would pay the price in the end. I lost about 20% of my pay last year. Right now I'm taking her back to court for a CS adjustment. We already have joint custody but I've decided to try and get the kids 50% of the time. From my understanding not only would I get more time with them but it would wipe out CS for her as well. What I would like to know is if anyone has been in a similar situation and tried what I'm trying to do. Any help would be great. Thanks. | |
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